Comer Fudd is dumb as fuck and he’s never gonna defeat Bugs Biden

and Rudy Colludy gets indicted ... again!

the dumbest dipshit in Congress has finally grown tired of stepping on all the rakes.

Comer Fudd, the beady-eyed clown-college reject who failed upwards until he inexplicably found himself Chair of the House Oversight Committee, has announced that he’s “done with” trying to impeach that wascally wabbit, Bugs Biden.

After 15 months of coming up short in proving some of his biggest claims against the president, James Comer recently approached one of his Republican colleagues and made a blunt admission: He was ready to be “done with” the impeachment inquiry into Biden.

too bad, so sad!

we’re gonna miss you, Jimmy. we’re going to miss those televised hearings. we’re going to miss all your high-pitched mile-a-minute jibberjabbering about phone calls and canceled checks like some meth-tweaked Barney Fife. we’re going to miss your exasperated sputtering as you get publicly pantsed by Democrats like Jared Moscowitz and Jasmine Crockett.

all these moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain.

so let us tip our hats to Hog Romancin’ Jimmy, and revisit some of the highlights of this 15-month-long farce.

where’s our star witness? oh shit, he’s on the run

the big recurring theme in all this is that no “star witness” was ever too sketchy to be taken seriously.

over and over, Comer Fudd and his partner in clownfuckery, the shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach Jim Jordan, would trot out the shadiest of characters, all of them claiming to have personally witnessed Joe Biden criming up a storm — only to have their stories fall apart upon the slightest bit of cross-examination.

but sometimes the star witnesses would just fucking up and disappear.

enter Gal Luft. the Jimmies had breathlessly announced that Gal was going to be the greatest star witness ever, because Luft claimed to have audio tapes of Biden accepting bribes — but then he vanished without a trace. Comer even suggested that he might be dead at the hands of the insidious Biden Crime Family.

but then we found out that Luft was spying for China and the reason no one could find him was because he on the run to evade arrest by the FBI.

oh gee. let’s see, Gal’s accused of being —
— an unregistered foreign agent (a.k.a. a spy). nice.
— an arms dealer. very cool.
— a violator of Iran sanctions. peachy-keen.
— a liar. fucking awesome.

hell of a “whistleblower” you got there, Jim and James. you two idiots are really covering yourselves in glory.

did Comer and Jordan know that they were working with an unregistered foreign agent and fugitive from justice? neither possible answer is great. if they got duped by this guy, then they’re fucking morons, and whatever shreds of credibility these clowns had is gone forever.

and if they didn’t get duped, that means they were knowingly working with an agent of the Chinese government to undermine a sitting president and make his family look bad. what would you call that? because it’s the exact fucking opposite of patriotism.

where’s our star witness? oh shit, he’s a Russian agent

so when your star witness turns out to be a Chinese spy, what do you do for an encore? this:

yesterday, Alexander Smirnov — holy fuck, now there’s a Bond Villain name if ever there was one — was merrily going about his business, traipsing through Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas, when he was surrounded by a bunch of FBI agents who were all nah bro, you’re not getting on that plane — in fact, guess who these handcuffs are for.

why does this suck for Corn Pone Jimmy? because Smirnov was Comer’s star impeachment witness, and he got nailed for inventing all the “evidence” he gave to Comer.

that’s right, the Jimmies got caught red-handed pushing made-up Russian propaganda that had been spoon-fed to them by a Russian spy.

ace job, you clowns.

where’s our star witness? oh shit, he’s in prison

James Galanis was a star witness who actually showed showed up for his hearing — because he couldn’t get away. Galanis is currently doing 14 years in federal prison after being convicted of securities fraud, investment adviser fraud and a whole raft of colorful misadventures. Galanis testified from his prison cell.

so yeah, very credible.

now let us toast the true heroes of the hearings, the Democrats who showed up to kick ass.

Democrats like Jasmine Crockett.

“but when we start talking about things that look like evidence, they want to act like they blind. they don’t know what this is. these are our national secrets, looks like in the shitter to me. this looks like more evidence of our national secrets, on a stage at Mar-a-Lago. when we’re talking about somebody that’s committed high crimes, let’s say 32 counts related to unauthorized retention of national security secrets, seven counts related to obstructing the investigation, three false statements, one count of conspiracy to defraud the United States, falsifying business records, conspiracy to defraud the United States, two counts related to efforts to obstruct the vote certification proceedings, one count of conspiracy to violate civil rights, 23 counts related to forgery or false document statements, eight counts related to soliciting, and I could go on, but he’s got 91 counts pending right now. but I will tell you what President Biden has been guilty of: loving his child unconditionally, and that is the only evidence that they have brought forward, and honestly, I hope and pray that my parents love me half as much as he loves his child. until they find some evidence, we need to get back to the peoples’ work, which means keeping this government open so that people don’t go hungry in the streets of the United States, and I will yield.”

and Jared Moscowitz.

“it’s a simple board, right? all other presidents of the United States, 50 percent of the impeachments. Donald Trump, the other 50. Donald Trump has half the impeachments in American history. but you know what? he’s got 100 percent of the indictments.”

and here’s Jared again, exposing the entire impeachment clown show for the politically-motivated sham that it was.

Moskowitz: “I just think we should do it today. let’s just call for it. I’ll make the motion, Mr. Chairman, I want to help you out. you can second it, right? I make the motion to impeach President Biden. go ahead. your turn. you can second it.”
Comer: “gggyyyy”
Moskowitz: “no. nothing. ok, we got nothing. so, with my last couple of minutes, I want to show the American people that they’re never going to impeach Joe Biden. it’s never going to happen. because they don’t have the evidence. ok? this is a show. it’s all fake.”

even yesterday, as news of Comer’s capitulation broke, Jared couldn’t help kicking Jimmy while he was down — and we are all so fucking here for it.

“I was hoping our breakup would never become public. We had such a great thing while it lasted James. I will miss the time we spent together. I will miss our conversations. I will miss the pet names you gave me. I only wish you the best and hope you find happiness.”

in James Comer, the people of Kentucky elected themselves a clown — and the rest of us sure as fuck ended up with a circus.

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hey, Rudy Colludy’s in deep doody … again.

bankrupt shitnozzle Rudy Giuliani and 17 of his felonious friends just got indicted for election fuckery in Arizona.

Those indicted include former Trump White House chief of staff Mark Meadows, attorneys Rudy Giuliani, Jenna Ellis, John Eastman and Christina Bobb, top campaign adviser Boris Epshteyn and former campaign aide Mike Roman. They are accused of allegedly aiding an unsuccessful strategy to award the state’s electoral votes to Trump instead of Biden after the 2020 election. Also charged are the Republicans who signed paperwork on Dec. 14, 2020, that falsely purported Trump was the rightful winner, including former state party chair Kelli Ward, two state senators and Tyler Bowyer, a GOP national committeeman and chief operating officer of Turning Point Action, the campaign arm of the pro-Trump conservative group Turning Point USA.

Trump was not charged, but he is described in the indictment as an unindicted co-conspirator.

pro tip for MAGA: if someone approaches you with a stack of forged electoral certificates and says here, sign these, it will be fun — run like hell.

and for fuck’s sake, never ever video yourself committing felonies.

among those indicted for election fraud is Chistina Bobb, who you will note is currently the Trump-controlled Republican National Committee’s counsel for “election integrity.”

wherever he is right now, George Orwell is laughing his ass off.