holy shit, Comer Fudd’s star witness just got arrested for lying to the FBI

the news just keeps getting worse for Rake Steppin’ Jimmy

the news just keeps getting worse for Comer Fudd, the beady-eyed dipshit whose goal in life as House Oversight Chair is to impeach Joe Biden.

yesterday, Alexander Smirnov — holy fuck, now there’s a Bond Villian name if ever there was one — was merrily going about his business, traipsing through Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas, when he was surrounded by a bunch of FBI agents who were all nah bro, you’re not getting on that plane — in fact, guess who these handcuffs are for.

why does this suck for Corn Pone Jimmy? because Smirnov was Comer’s star impeachment witness, and he got nailed for inventing all the “evidence” he gave to Comer.

Smirnov, you see, is the dude who first claimed that Burisma founder Mykola Zlochevsky gave $5 million bribes to both Joe and Hunter Biden — and Smirnov supposedly had the evidence to prove it — making Smirnov ground zero for the whole impeachment story.

except now it turns out that Smirnov made all that shit up and lied to the FBI about it — and it turns out the FBI really fucking hates it when you lie to them.

But the indictment shows evidence that Smirnov couldn’t have had that conversation with Zlochevsky then. In fact, it alleges, Smirnov “met with officials from Burisma for the first time in 2017, after [Biden] left office in January 2017.” It documents how Smirnov informed his FBI handler about his initial contacts with the company’s executives after that point.

“The Defendant’s story to the FBI was a fabrication,” [the indictment] alleges, “an amalgam of otherwise unremarkable business meetings and contacts that had actually occurred but at a later date than he claimed and for the purpose of pitching Burisma on the Defendant’s services and products, not for discussing bribes to [Joe Biden] when he was in office.”

life these days for Comer Fudd is just one big rake-stepping marathon.

every single quote-unquote “star witness” has made Comer look like a fool.

remember Gal Luft? he was another one of these guys who supposedly had shitloads of evidence — audio tapes, he claimed, of the Bidens talking about bribes. he was all set to testify and then Comer announced that he was missing. poof, gone. no one could find the guy. we don’t know what happened, Comer shrugged, he was right there a minute ago.

turns out the reason no one could find Luft is that he was a fugitive from justice.

U.S. Attorney Announces Charges Against Co-Director Of Think Tank For Acting As An Unregistered Foreign Agent, Trafficking In Arms, Violating U.S. Sanctions Against Iran, And Making False Statements To Federal Agents

as I wrote at the time,

oh gee. let’s see, Gal’s accused of being —
— an unregistered foreign agent (a.k.a. a spy). nice.
— an arms dealer. very cool.
— a violator of Iran sanctions. peachy-keen.
— a liar. fucking awesome.

hell of a “whistleblower” you got there, Jim and James. you two idiots are really covering yourselves in glory.

remember Devon Archer? he was one of Hunter Biden’s business associates. Comer made a big deal about how Archer was going to prove that Hunter sold influence and Joe took bribes.

it was a can’t-fail plan, except for the part where once Archer was under oath, he said that none of that shit ever happened.

reporter: “did he talk about a bribe at all — 5 million dollar bribe?”
Biggs: “he didn’t know anything about that.”
reporter: “he didn’t know anything about that?”
Biggs: “no. he didn’t know anything about that.”

Comer tried to pull the same shit just this week, with closed-door testimony from another Hunter business associate, Tony Bobulinski. it was just more of the same old overheated fever dreams.

Over the past several years, Tony Bobulinski has seemingly shared his story with anyone who would listen, including the Trump campaign. But his loftiest claims — that Joe Biden was deeply involved in his son’s overseas business deals — are still uncorroborated and have been undercut by other key witnesses.

Comer touted a bunch of FBI and IRS agents who he claimed had evidence of a Biden administration coverup. turns out that the whole rancid bunch of them were disgrunteled cranks and conspiracy loons, some of whom had had their security clearances revoked.

just about the only thing that Rake Steppin’ Jimmy has been able to prove beyond all doubt is that Hunter Biden indeed has a ginormous cock.

a grateful nation tips its hat to you for that, Jim.

actor Diedrich Bader put up a very relevant post on Threads yesterday.

“My dad was CIA. I can say that now. Anyway he always told me if you ask for specific intelligence and someone brings you exactly that which you asked for, the chance of it being real is really REALLY low. Remembering that as i read about Smirnoff”

got that?

if you ask for the goods on someone and some rando comes up with exactly what you were hoping to find, chance are good that it’s a fuckload of horse shit.

it’s a lesson that Hog Romancin’ Jimmy keeps refusing to learn.