Comer Fudd’s latest hearing was such a shit-show that even Newsmax cut away from it

and so did Fox News

what’s that old saying? oh right: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result — and that, my friends, is all the proof you need that James Comer is bug-eyed batshit bonkers.

or maybe it’s just that Comer Fudd loves him the warm syrupy feeling of being jackhammered in the nuts — because Hog Romancin’ Jimmy gone and done it again.

Comer’s House Oversight Committee inflicted another Biden impeachment hearing on us yesterday, and one can not overstate what a complete fucking disaster it was for Jimmy and his GOP cohort.

seriously, you would think Nut Hammerin’ Jimmy would be tired of this whole we’re gonna impeach Sleepy Brandon thing by now — because these hearings always blow up right in his doughy face — but no, Jimbo’s appetite for humiliation is apparently bottomless.

Comer was his usual corn pone self, angrily sputtering in his squeaky backwoods drawl, worked himself up into a lather, growing ever more agitated and high-pitched until he reached a point where only dogs could hear him yammer on about car loans and canceled checks and Hunter Biden’s ungodly ginormous crotch monster.

how clownshoes was the hearing? this clownshoes: one of Jimmy’s star witnesses testified from his prison cell.

Comer: “Mr. Galanis has remained in a federal prison facility. he is currently in Montgomery, Alabama. Mr. Galanis, can you please state for the record, who else is in the room with you?”
Galanis: “yes, Mr. Chairman. my counsel and advisor.”

James Galanis, by the way, is in the middle of a 14-year prison sentence after being convicted of securities fraud, investment adviser fraud and a whole raft of colorful misadventures. so yeah, excellent witness.

but fuck Comer’s witnesses. the dipshits Jimmy came armed with were not the main event. the main event was the Democrats’ own star witness, Lev Parnas.

Parnas, you’ll recall, traveled to Ukraine with Rudy Colludy to dig up dirt on Joe Biden. he was right there when Rudy came up empty-handed — and he was unafraid to blow the whistle on what a pile of horse shit this whole Joe Biden is corrupt thing is.

Parnas: “from shortly after my arrest on October 9, 2019 to now, I have been trying to share the irrefutable truth with you. the American people have been lied to by Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, and various cohorts and individuals in government and media positions. they created falsehoods to serve their own interests and undermine the strength of our nation. from November 2018 to October 2019, I was a key participant and a witness to numerous efforts to prove that Joe and Hunter Biden were linked to corruption in Ukraine. Rudy Giuliani, on behalf of then-president Trump, tasked me with a mission to travel the globe, finding dirt on the Bidens, so that an array of networks could spread disinformation about them, thus securing the 2020 election for Donald J. Trump … today I ask you to consider the following: in nearly a year traveling the world, and interviewing officials in different countries, I found precisely zero evidence of the Bidens’ corruption in Ukraine. no credible source has ever provided proof of criminal activity.”

shoot that shit straight into my veins, Lev.

Parnas continues —

Parnas: “the only information ever pushed on the Bidens in Ukraine has come from one source and one source only: Russia and Russian agents. the impeachment proceedings that bring us here now are predicated on false information spread by the Kremlin. everyone involved knew they were sharing lies.”

shit got so embarrassing for Comer & Co that Newsmax cut away and went back to their regular programming, shoving the hearing — without sound — into a little box in the corner of the screen.

Fox News had even less patience than Newsmax. as soon as Parnas blew the whistle on Russia and Russian agents, Fox News hastily cut away to Fox’s own court jester and found object Jesse Watters.

Fox bobblehead: “…so this bit of a preview right now. this hearing’s gonna be hot. so stand by for more. I want to bring in Jesse Watters…”

let’s compare and contrast.

to date, Republican “witnesses” have been foreign agents — on the lam or in prison — and various disgraced ex-government fuckfaces with axes to grind.

Democratic witness have been people with first-hand knowledge of the actual truth — and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you build a case.

by the way, how fucking much do we love Jared Moskowitz? check this shit out — he called the Republicans’ bluff and offered to make his own motion to impeach Biden right then and there.

Moskowitz: “I just think we should do it today. let’s just call for it. I’ll make the motion, Mr. Chairman, I want to help you out. you can second it, right? I make the motion to impeach President Biden. go ahead. your turn. you can second it.”
Comer: “gggyyyy”
Moskowitz: “no. nothing. ok, we got nothing. so, with my last couple of minutes, I want to show the American people that they’re never going to impeach Joe Biden. it’s never going to happen. because they don’t have the evidence. ok? this is a show. it’s all fake.”

what the fuck is that noise that leaks out of Comer Fudd’s befuddled face when he’s asked to second the motion? I’m at a loss to describe it.

and so yet another disastrous hearing has come and gone. will the House GOP ever learn their lesson and stop embarrassing themselves? hell no, they will not — because these people are so fucking dim that they actually think they won.

Nancy Mace: “what I did today was implicate Joe Biden in every single aspect of Hunter Biden, Jim Biden, and their and their business associates’ foreign interest and business dealings.”

ace job, Nancy. no notes. give yourself a second scarlet A — for awesome. you’ve earned it.

what’s that thing that Atrios used to say? oh right:

the stupid. it burns.