425 Comments

I could feel my stress levels reducing as I wrote this. I hope reading it does the same for you

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Thank you, Uncle Jeff, for being a glass-half-full guy today, when my glass was completely empty. I really needed this little pony, and I plan to ride it all day! 🥰

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The content of your post makes me happy, as does your impeccable use of hyphens and commas (I'm a copy editor, if that wasn't obvious).

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That’s a huge compliment! Thank you!

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Was thinking the same glass half full thingie.

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It lowered mine, and I love the pony analogy. Thank you for this; it’s exactly what I needed. I was beside myself over the delayed sentencing but you’re correct that it’s a pony. We all know he’s not going to prison but he doesn’t know that and the longer he has to worry about it, the longer he has for that worry to drive him further into insanity. Democracy is the pony and we will find it under this pile of horseshit if we VOTE!

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Yes, the longer he has to worry about it, the greater the chance that Little Donnie FF will stroke out about it.Fingers crossed.

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Legs fingers toes all crossed 🤞

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Even eyes crossed

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Fingers double-crossed! 🤞🤞

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Can we officially call that fucker “Burger King”?

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I pray for a DIRT NAP for baby Donnie every single day...

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While I’d jump for joy if a burger took him out, there are others waiting to take his place…especially since this SCOTUS decision. I hope he lives to lose this election in a landslide so the rest of his ilk understand that their shit will not be tolerated.

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Totally felt that power of a Democratic pony in sentencing delay once it was explained. Trump's entire m.o. is inciting reaction. Our leadership isn't here to jump through his hoops & dance to his tune. I can see this as a good move, making him damn well wait.

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Just when I thought you couldn't be any more awesome...

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It did!! Thank you.

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Wow, way to read the room, Jeff...magnificent!! EXACTLY what we all need on the day before Independence Day!! You're my hero!!

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Lynn, what you said! 🎯🎯. You are carrying us on your shoulders thru this insane period of history. Thanks for tending to our emotional state and keeping us engaged. You rock! #PonyUp

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Spot on Jeff, as usual! This is a time to look for the pony. The Dem messaging is lightweight Pollyanna right now. The "Glad Game" can be effective to win a few votes. However, today Pollyanna is nose to nose with a 350 pound Liar Loudmouth Rapist Bully. She better have a big stick in her hand to smack him up the head when he insults her. The Dems are so close to waking up to this REALITY. We need to encourage them to take "bold action" to shut down Trump World. Now. Today. And every day until the election.

Also, what's up with the word "salience"? I saw it twice this morning. Once in a weak email money pitch from Dem Blue Act and once in an article by Matt Johnson on Bulwark. Who uses "salience" in their everyday speech? Word salad we don't need. Let's use messaging that will stick with the voters. "Donald said this about Joe--LIAR! Here's the TRUTH!" "Donald said this about Jan 6--LIAR! Here's the TRUTH!" "Donald (or anyone in Trump World) said this about honorable people--LIAR! Here's the TRUTH!" Fight back!

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I'm sure Anarchy Princess will loan Pollyanna her cowbell

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Pollyanna is getting her ass kicked. Unanswered lies are often accepted as fact, especially by those below the Carlin Line. Many of them prefer fantasy over reality. So, why are the DNC and Biden campaign silent? When they should be fighting back with everything they've got. Every Dem pundit should be attacking every lie. Attack every Dumbshit Donald fantasy. Expose him and his crime gang for the illegitimate crooks they are. Instead they treat him and his mob as the "respected opposition." WTF?

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Now that kind of messaging by Dems would brighten my spirits

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It did. Believe me. Stress levels recessing.

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It helped a lot. Thanks for being a glass-half-full guy.

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It does. I was feeling really stressed yesterday but I’ll keep this good news in mind

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Mine went down a little bit. I've uninstalled 2 news apps on my phone because it's not doing my attitude any good to read the opinions on there. I just can't fathom how Trump always lands on his feet and he's getting a BIG pass in the media for his cognitive issues among other things. Looking back, Biden should have never agreed to debate him saying that Trump didn't have the courage to debate in the GOP debates so he wasn't going to waste his time with him. That criticism would have been long over with. Now we'll have to hear about Grandpa Joe for eternity. I think it's the double standard that is so galling. Trump is hardly an alert, spry man, yet that is no big deal to the media. I don't buy this senile thing with Joe. He was just in Europe and no one had any news that he was inappropriate at those meetings. His speech in February for the State of the Union was excellent. Yes, he's old, but so is Trump. They would have been in high school together at the same time. I'll say that Dem Lloyd Doggett from TX has conjones saying that Biden should drop out. Lloyd is 77! What is to be gained from these Dems bashing Biden? Do they want Trump to win? That I don't understand. Typical Dems. Their own worst enemy. You don't see the rank and file GOP open their mouth about Trump.

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Now there is a bunch of Dems calling for Biden to drop out! This is how we lose

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Nothing can't reduce my stress level anymore. We are doomed.....

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Especially after seeing Kevin Roberts call for Marxist Leftist blood on the streets. Throughout Project 2025 we are referred to as Marxist Leftist. Do I call the DOJ and tell them I got screwed by Leonard Leo's Court without my consent or that or my life was threatened by Kevin Roberts? I contacted my Senators this morning about this issue of Domestic Terrorism. Today I will find serenity in Jeff's piles of horseshit. Everything helps as I breathe in a paper bag. Fingers crossed 🤞🤞🤞Thank you, Jeff.

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Excellent idea (call our sens. about the clear domestic-terror threat); thanks.

Also, I (almost) have to laugh at the stupidity and lack of originality among the bllk of the GOP. We so-called "Marxist Leftists" or "radical-left Democrats" are simply seeking the implementation of pro-social policies that exist -- and are a great success -- in every other developed democracy. These policies make life better per every metric (healthcare outcomes, cost of healthcare, longevity, standard of living, quality of education, personal safety at work and elsewhere, self-reported happiness. etc.)

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They better think about THEIR blood in the streets. (Groucho is a badass!)

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Heard some older punk rock dude say that yeah, we are up against a huge, scary fight - but there have been times in the history where ppl have also been in similar bad situations, but with FAR LESS to work with - and THEY WON.

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Then congrats to Don Snorleone because that’s what he wants you to think.

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I’ve been called a few things in my life but NEVER Surrender Monkey. Fuck the heritage foundation and their bloodless revolution. Those spirit crushers think everybody has fear-conditioned brains because THEY do. I’m not afraid I’M PISSED. And I’d say 2/3 of the 42 million women over 40 reading about this Handmaids Tale future the right has in mind are full-on pissed too.

Never underestimate middle-aged women. We’re not living la vida loca like Thomas or hoisting little bitchy flags like Mrs. Alito. We’re organizing, volunteering, and whatever it takes to beat back these pussy ass bitches.

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AfuckingMen Samantha!!! I’m so fucking angry! I’ll vote blue up down sideways fuck that Orange Grifting Lard Ass MFKR.. JFC I need a drink and I don’t drink..

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Count me in Bedhead2Day! Every damn one of them red hat sumbitches need to be voted so far out they’ll never get back.

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Right into the ocean full of sharks.. shark bait oo ha ha!!

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I didn't say that I gave up. I will fight to the end but I feel really stressed out at this moment....

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And no disrespect — you can’t be sane and think everything is right side up. But Shakespeare knew the human condition, and it hasn’t really changed. And how did his hubris-heavy characters fare?

This is overreach on a massive scale telling us just be quiet — your overlords will let you live if you stop fighting and go meekly. When has that ever been true? No thanks. I’ll go down fighting vs peering out the window wondering whether they come for me today

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Amen to all of the above. The recent order issued to ‘leftist Marxists’ to shut up or face annihilation by a MAGA Heritage Foundation apparatchik has globally exposed them as a domestic terrorist group. Their true believers will be fired up by this death threat with their lust for the shedding of Other’s blood, but any level headed Republican who might have been willing to accept Trump’s criminal GOP cartel because of their loyalty to political principle, especially any who work in law enforcement, will now be forced to choose. Either remain true to your oath to uphold the rule of law and the American Constitution or support a genocidal theocratic autocracy.

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YES! YES! YES!

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I wish I could upvote you a zillion times. And I snort laughed at your snark, so thank you for making my day, Samantha M!

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🏆🏆🏆🥇👍

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It will not prevent us from voting, though.

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I am battling those feelings too. Taking time off news, media helps. Watching the birds outside, helping friends, tackling a household problem helps me reset. Hang in there. 🧑‍🤝‍🧑👭👬👫

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Sorry, tackling my dirty blinds isn't going to help this political crisis.

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Nor is doing a shitload of laundry when kids have every single article of clothing inside out or socks rolled into a fucking ball.. guess what.. you get them back in exactly the same way you lazyassedbirdbrains give them to me

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Fuck it. I’m going to the beach.

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Have fun!! I'm high ass mowing 4 acres. It's like riding a bronco bull because of all holes. Someday my boobs are going to hit me the head and knock me out.

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I’m in the mountains Lisa..I wish you could send me a pic..a Native Hawaiian in the mountains is an oxymoron..

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Still, it's something with a positive outcome. I'm heading out to get my duster right now. Thanks for the idea.

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My stress level will go down on 11/5/24 when Biden is elected again. Even that won't be the end of this. We thought it was over after 2020, but in some ways it's worse than in the 2016 election. It's to the point now, that all I want for Xmas is for Joe to be elected. Trump's court cases are on the back burner as far as I'm concerned. Because if Trump wins, there will be no more court cases among other things. Trump has utterly exhausted my brain with his continual nonsense, criminality and obnoxious personality.

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For some reason - running on destroying democracy isn’t disqualifying because (checks notes) ‘unprecedented’. 🤦‍♀️

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No matter what the outcome of the election is, we can never give up fighting for what is right and what is good. What the extreme conservatives are doing to our beloved nation reminds me of the scene in Gladiator (historical fiction), where Maximus is about to enter the coliseum for a death match, and he hears the bloodthirsty crowd's cheers. In his disgust. he turns to Proximo, his "owner," and says, "Marcus Aurelius once had a dream that was Rome. This is not it! This is NOT it!"

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I feel ya but I'm trying to stay positive. It's hard.

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I feel it too 😞😞😞

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Thank you. Right now, yours are the only Substack letters I can read without feeling nauseous.

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I’ve been so incredibly stressed out by the SC ruling. I haven’t slept in the past couple of days.. I’m still at WTF just happened..

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Heart beat slowing. Ahhh! But much to do. This is a BIG CORRUPT WILL TAKE A LOT TO CLEAN UP. BUT IT US AMERICA. 🇺🇸 😃🥰🥳👍🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

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Hearing Biden's NC speech day after debate where he said loudly "This AMERICA!!" Super reassuring. 🇺🇸

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Thanks Jeff. I was going off the deep end and moving to Canada. 🙏

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Will Canada take us?

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Yes. Check canada.ca

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Hard to move to Canada if you are old and/or don’t have lots of ready cash. I looked into it. New Zealand is even more difficult. 😣

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Someone on Twitter said yesterday that the 4th of July should be a day of mass donations for President Biden and all the Democrats running. 🎇

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did you know this is Ronald Reagan's favorite joke? I didn't, until I went googling for it. oh well, I still like it.

(don't tell me I told it wrong, there are dozens of variations, all with the same punchline)

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Rudy to "pay the million he owes Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss for ruining their lives."

Ordinarily, Jeff, I wouldn't correct you, but in this case every single one of the MILIONS owed by Rudy to these women is another pony 🐎🐎🐎 (why aren't emoji ponies pink like they should be?)

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Rudy is getting a huge monthly allowance from the bench. More than most people earn in a year. How does that work, exactly?

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I don't know how he worked that out, but it's some ungodly amount like $25K a month and he goes through it all and then some. He must be buying expensive scotch.

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I think he hauls in about $100,000/ year from retirement benefits. He won’t be living under a bridge

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Too bad too. SOB should be scrubbing floors for Freeman and Moss.

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Yes! For his sick, bigoted, hateful lies about those honest Georgia poll workers, Rudy was judged to owe them $150+ MILLION, a fair amount for all the suffering he caused them.

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That's a herd of ponies. Of course, Rudy and Trump are not good for the damage they do.

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I could use a pony or two right about now. It's been a shitty week.

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I loved reading your optimist story. And I concluded some time back that you're an optimist at heart. Which is one more reason I enjoy reading your takes. But damn! these latest goings-on have to be killing you. Being a sort-of pessimistic skeptic, it's easier for me to be disappointed - i expect it!

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I've always said that the power of protective pessimism beats the power of positive thinking every day. But I run by the greatest power of all— not dead yet!

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Honey, you can tell this “shitty” joke any way you want to. It’s all good and I’m all for trying to find ponies anywhere they may be. That said, I read in one Substack or other, that the orange cock splat(tm-JT)was going to get his .10 lawyer to argue that(trump’s)signing checks to Michael Cohen was an “official act” since he did that after taking office 🤨.

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That's nonsense, IMO. I'm no lawyer, but the timing of his signing checks doesn't make it an official act. It was an act in furtherance of his campaign coverup. How is that something essential to his presidency? Same for Jan 6th. Violating his oath of office to incite his armed followers to overturn an election is hardly an official Presidential duty.

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Every president has an official right to an official closet in which all of his skeletons are officially kept. Forever. This should be obvious. Without such a closet he cannot act promptly and boldly.

Do you know what Trump said to Don McGann, his White House counsel? “I don't like lawyers who take notes."

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I remember. Orange didn’t like note takers of any kind, especially around

Putin or on Ukrainian phone calls.

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Bill, we all know that the orange dumpster fire will grasp at any straw that blows his way in the wind. His check signing is just such a straw to grab then appeal the hell out of whatever decision falls.

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Yep. He doesn't have a chance on this one. But this SC decision is another in a string of appalling decisions this court has made. They will go down in the history books as one of the worst courts ever--and given the history of the SC courts, that's a tall order.

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But the Supremes seem to think it was. They believe an official act is anything he says it is. BTW, I agree with you.,

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That doesn’t mean tRump & his twisted lawyers won’t argue it

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And he did it in an OFFICE at the OFFICIAL desk with a pen he stole from his secretary's OFFICE. Jack Smith, are you listening?

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Not an official act!!

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Agreed. I was writing an SNL skit where a trump supporter 'splains it all to you.

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🤣

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I'll bet Dumpy stole it from the kid who mowed the White House lawn.

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😂

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It'd be a straight up loss. Signing personal/business checks to a personal lawyer is not an official act of the President, and doesn't even vaguely fall with either the "core duties", or outer edge of responsibilities of his office.

In fact, I doubt Merchan will even consider a hearing on such a specious filing. And neither will an appeals court.

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He wasn’t even president when he did all of this! How can any of this be considered ‘presidential acts’ when he wasn’t even president until January 20, 2017?

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Apparently some of the checks he signed, and at least one of the meetings he had with Cohen were in either February or March of 2017.

That said though, it is not an official duty of the president to meet with his personal lawyer unless they're discussing national business. And neither is signing checks to his personal lawyer.

And, most importantly, if I remember correctly, it wasn't the prosecution that introduced the meeting as evidence, but the defense team who brought it up when questioning Cohen on the stand. I might be wrong about that though.

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WTaF

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I've been thinking of that joke and that punchline all week ( with all this shit, there must be a pony) thanks Jeff. I feel better with all the poo being flung by the GOP, I cling to hope and know we must rise.

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Speaking of dementia, Reagan definitely was out to lunch in his second term. I read somewhere, maybe in Colin Powell's first autobiography, that Reagan told a "joke" to the Soviet delegation where he asked an American cab driver what his career plans were and the man answered that he hadn't decided. Reagan continued the joke with he asked a Soviet cab driver that same question and the guy answered, "I don't know-they haven't told me yet." An awkward chuckle from the Americans followed. I imagine the Soviets didn't laugh

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Reagan would have told that intentionally.

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Yeah, the implied anecdote was that he did. I didn't mean to excuse him from that inappropriate trolling because of dementia

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Maybe one thing I like from the mut.

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