458 Comments

Imagine being an angel up in Heaven, getting yourself all jacked up into fighting shape, eagerly anticipating your new assignment back down on Earth...and you find out you're just gonna have to stand around on the street in frigid weather while the motorcade of the worst person this country ever produced rolls by you and a bunch of people too dumb to operate a Slinky scream their faces off like it's 1964 and Paul McCartney is peeking out of the SUV window.

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πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ "Too dumb to operate a Slinky."

You win. HAHAHAHA!!

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Perfect and funny as hell. That dipshit singing the very annoying MAGA song would certainly qualify as someone who would discover that a slinky has too many moving parts. It's frustrating that there are so many of these mutated misfits who are as intellectually deficient as the incoming Commander in Thief they worship.

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β€œHey’ I think the door’s kinda stuck” should be the headline here. These MAGATs are a shitload of funny.

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God doth cleareth a patha and Dog doth taketh away thena smotheth that chariot, from solms 1.2 !

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Even funnier since the song they're using, YMCA, is kind of an honorable old ballad for gay people and diversity.

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That was great thanks

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That video made me grateful that I did not go to school with people like this. It might be a great equalizer and democratic to have people in your class like this, but I think these are the ones that cut class. My daughter is complaining about some guys in one of her lectures talking behind her, and she is not able to ask them to please stop being so distracting. Can you imagine being in class with any of these people, let alone hanging out. The woman in the back seat making the hand signs was crazy.

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These are the ones that also failed open book tests

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I saw her… so feeble minded. πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

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β€œBut we’re alright, we are alright though” I hate to be the one but no lady you escaped the loony bin and you are so fucked. You been smote by the big guy!

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That assumes that she has one.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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feeble yes, minded, no!

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Oh I have been, they are the kids that never pay attention, the ones I wondered what happened to.

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I’m so going to copy that saying 🀣🀣

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yep, stealing this one lol. I know some people who are actually this dumb, and unfortunately some of them are involved in running the state govt.

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Agreed!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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What's a Slinky?

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Google is your friend. Also, I started my growing up in the 50's, so there's that.

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Sorry Katharine. Should have put an LOL as I was being a bit on the sarcastic side. I thought I’d double down on the too dumb to operate a slinky theme! The originals were awesome!

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Hovering over your name here, I saw, "Could we, as a species, survive without music?". NO, we absolutely could not! And oh the days, sitting at the top of the basement steps of our house, watching the awesomeness of that Slinky making its way down! Pity the kids that didn't have any steps at their house. I should have realized you were kidding, and with the music thing - you sound like a pretty awesome guy.

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Lots of fun

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Last year a Monmouth University poll found that 20% of American adults (50 million humans) believed the fantasy story that the National Football League conspired with Taylor Swift for the KC Chiefs to win the Super Bowl, which they surmised, would somehow help Joe Biden's re-election. These are the same morons who are addicted to Qanon dangerous and addictive silliness. Fantasy is more exciting than their boring lives. See JD Vance's mentor Curtis Yarvin. Reality is what you make up in your mind. Not what you observe in physical reality. They call it Dark Enlightenment. Hah! Add this to your Stupids list.

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β€œFantasy is more exciting than their boring lives.”

That actually explains a lot. Thank you for that. I’m so incredibly practical about everything (I’m an accountant and tax pro) I just had no clue how people could believe the insane things that are said and never fact-check anything. This helps explain it.

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So true so true. preach it bro.

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Yes. It helps explain that there are such people, but WHY is going to be the $64 trillion question. (See what I did there? β€œT”, not β€œM”. Gotta take a big step to imbue the correct level of importance these days.)

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They're also very fearful people so fantasy helps alleviate some of that as long as the fantasy has someone in it saying he will fix it all. Like little kids who never outgrew their fairy tales.

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Dark Enlightenment? I can’t say I’m surprised. I would say the decision to believe that able bodied angels are protecting trump would fall under this category.

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"Dark enlightment" = Delusion.

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Exactly.

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I’ve done statistics for longitudinal cohort studies for 40 years. Too many skew factors for that number to be true. Pardon me if I’m wrong; I think you made that number up.

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Here's the poll:

https://www.monmouth.edu/polling-institute/reports/monmouthpoll_us_021424/

Hey google. How many adults live in the US?

As of July 2023, there were 262,083,034 adults in the United States, which is 78% of the total population. This is made up of people who are 18 years old and older.

20% of 262 million is 52.4 million.

I didn't make the number up. You are more expert in this field so you tell me. I just read stuff.

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Oops. I just read the poll again. The percentage of believers in this conspiracy was 18%.

18% x 262 million = 47.16 million. Sorry I exaggerated with the 50 million.

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Like

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Can we get the Village People to sue whoever ripped off their song?

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They're still too busy laughing at how their gay anthem has become the favorite song of the Christian Nationalists.

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Burke, Taylor and Travis were to announce their engagement during last SB halftime show and/or jointly endorse Joe Biden for POTUS.

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Here is a discussion on Misinformation and the White Nationalism. I am sure these folks belong to groups discussed in here.

https://youtu.be/tMEnvIQokQg?si=bTjlkZ6GaOgi4Lvh

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Winner

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Alison for the win! πŸ† "Too dumb to operate a Slinkey" ROFLMAO! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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Hey, Kat says the Angels have flesh and she has already sent a million of them to Pennsylvania Avenue. They only have to wait there for 9 more days. BTW, they're already there, but has anyone seen them?

Jeff has a standard way of ending his wonderful posts and I think I Need to have a standard way to close out my comments.

Jeff, you are funny. Stop doubting yourself. The only time I dislike your substack is when you Apologize or doubt your Gift for humor. Stop it! Just about the ONLY thing I DO NOT worry about is whether Jeff Tiedrich will be funny today.

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Jeff is brilliant

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Total agreement.

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We can't see the angels yet, because they will wait for Felon Day to turn themselves on.

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Who let you know?

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Nice one.

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Like

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I can’t stop laughing, Alison. Oh FFS, hilarious. We are now living in The Onion times!

Seriously, how is it these MAGAts are so stupid?

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Loving this Alison!!

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*Chef's kiss* for the Slinky line.

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Alison, FYI I'm stealing "too dumb to operate a Slinky." (I will always credit you.)

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πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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πŸŽ―πŸ’―βœŒπŸ»πŸ’™

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Brilliant.

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That’s pretty frickn dumb πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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The Slinky part is what got meπŸ˜‚

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You rock

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Wotta world Wotta world. Kat seemed to be winning the batshit battle until the ever reliable Naomi W. entered the contest. Then the bookies cleaned up. She’s the Secretariat of nutsoville. No contest. Took it by 17-1/2 lengths.

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yeah, that was my thought. actually, I didn't think there was much difference amongst those three to choose a winner...but man, there is an awful lotta people in this country who clearly need some serious doses of xanax or valium or something. whoa!!! none of these folks are living in what most of us recognize as reality.

(and yes, the concept of Trump fans who are too dumb to operate a Slinky certainly does win the internet today! a hundred thanks for the laugh!)

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A million thanks for spelling β€˜whoa’ correctly. I’ve seen wayyyyy too many β€˜woahs’ everywhere.

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Thorazine.

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Yes. I blame that POS Reagan.

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I’m just going to say RFK Jr. has turned what was once an intelligent person, into a cognitive tosspot Neal!!

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I place him in a separate category, but closer to Naomi W. than the charismatic charlatans. Very close.

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That's what being addicted to heroin for 14 years will get ya.

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Well done, Dr. Neal. (Since Naomi Wolf got a PhD in philosophy and now goes around pushing that insanely overused title "Dr." in her narcissism, rather than just letting ACTUAL doctors have sole use of the prefix, I'm giving you an honorary 'doctorate' in commonsense commenting, commencing now!)

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Doctor, defined as Teacher, came long before medical doctors took over the title.

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True, true, true. They stole our prestigious title.

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Didn't know that! Thx.

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Naomi W. turned to the Bannon universe during Covid’s early devastation and it has been a deep slide downhill from that point. Irredeemable.

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Ever read DoppelgΓ€nger by Naomi Klein? Well worth it. Holy shit.

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No, but after seeing some reviews it sounds intriguing. And interestingly, though THIS Naomi has a few honorary doctorates, notice she doesn't throw that out there in her promotions, unlike her namesake 'doppelganger' Naomi Wolf. But I'm being too harsh on Wolf for this, she doesn't seem to use it extensively; my irritation got the better of me. It's her nonsensical conspiracy writings that make her the butt of jokes.

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This PHD is obviously no student of history. It is well documented that human beings caught up in a devastating situation that they have never experienced before often seem stunned and out of it. Get out of your silo, doc!

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Jeff, what a batshit collection of stupidity!!!!!!! This week is just totally off the charts, but it's all their fault. Jeffrey Tiedrich had nuthin' to do with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9nnZtKD99Q

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LOVE this!!

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I remember when Naomi was sane. WTF??!?

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Was she?!

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These β€œreligious” people are fucking insane! And I guess the maga moron driving the car didn’t have any special maga angels watching him! And the eyelash thing…what the hell is wrong with people?! I know….maga, maggots, blithering fools….yada yada yada. Have a nice weekend everyone!

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WTH is wrong with people? I'll never live long enough to find out! The human race is in serious decline. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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When I worked in mental health, a local church asked me to help out those in the church struggling with issues. After one month, I quit. I told the pastor this was way above my pay grade. They're batshit fucking crazy. I don't have a PhD. However, it wasn't hard to spot borderline personality disorders and those hearing voices. Now, they get a fucking looney tunes podcast.

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Hearing voices is seriously a schizophrenia symptom.

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She'd be living homeless under a freeway overpass in most circumstances.

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One of them wanted to unalive her husband's mistress. In a godly way. I get her point. But, whoa! She was crazy.

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Marvelous!

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Yep!

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Yes, we were in Italy touring St Francis of Assisi church, and they explained how he started hearing "god" talk to him. my husband whispers, "ah, he was schizophrenic!"

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Lisa59, I hit "Like" 3 times on this comment just so I could Like it twice. (I wish an acronym existed for "This is a horrible state of affairs but it's so on-brand that I'm LOL.")

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PhD simply stands for 'Piled Higher and Deeper' - I have a right to say this because of my 33-year career in higher education.

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That's good! Some of the people I worked with were crazier than the patients. That's why my bio says β€œI'm not crazy, I checked.” Well, maybe a little. 🀭

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If you don't have a little crazy, you're not right.

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Everybody's got a little

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I doubt that the human race has never NOT been in serious decline and have somehow managed to survive our stupidness so far because we reproduce like rats. We just keep repeating the same increasingly dumb stuff over and over.

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Thats a good point. I keep hoping we might do better someday. But there will always be crazy, wont there? πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

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Of course you’re right. Crazy used to be viewed as dangerous, now it’s celebrated as religion.

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Well said. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

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Stupid people breed. They are too stupid not to.

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Saw a cartoon some 25 years ago I never forgot. It shows salmon struggling to get upstream to lay eggs. A guy on shore comments that it's too bad humans aren't tested like that before they can be allowed to reproduce.

I've seen very smart parents have much less intelligent children and vice versa, so there's no rhyme or reason to our ability "to survive our stupidness"!!

My 40 y/o PhD + 2 Masters niece and her 65 y/o university faculty head partner thought their child was going to be very well endowed brain-wise. He is not, much to their chagrin. I could have told them our reproduction components, both male and female, degrade with time, but I've learned to stay silent at times! Musk the Dufus is past that point also, but he thinks he's reproducing geniuses (13 tries so far) to re-populate the world.

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"Regression to the mean" is the applicable phrase. Smarties always hope they'll have genius kids, but nature doesn't do it that way.

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