454 Comments
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Alison Parker's avatar

Imagine being an angel up in Heaven, getting yourself all jacked up into fighting shape, eagerly anticipating your new assignment back down on Earth...and you find out you're just gonna have to stand around on the street in frigid weather while the motorcade of the worst person this country ever produced rolls by you and a bunch of people too dumb to operate a Slinky scream their faces off like it's 1964 and Paul McCartney is peeking out of the SUV window.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂 "Too dumb to operate a Slinky."

You win. HAHAHAHA!!

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Perfect and funny as hell. That dipshit singing the very annoying MAGA song would certainly qualify as someone who would discover that a slinky has too many moving parts. It's frustrating that there are so many of these mutated misfits who are as intellectually deficient as the incoming Commander in Thief they worship.

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Cassandra Here's avatar

“Hey’ I think the door’s kinda stuck” should be the headline here. These MAGATs are a shitload of funny.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

God doth cleareth a patha and Dog doth taketh away thena smotheth that chariot, from solms 1.2 !

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Christina Kasica's avatar

Even funnier since the song they're using, YMCA, is kind of an honorable old ballad for gay people and diversity.

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David A Pitock's avatar

That was great thanks

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Linda Weide's avatar

That video made me grateful that I did not go to school with people like this. It might be a great equalizer and democratic to have people in your class like this, but I think these are the ones that cut class. My daughter is complaining about some guys in one of her lectures talking behind her, and she is not able to ask them to please stop being so distracting. Can you imagine being in class with any of these people, let alone hanging out. The woman in the back seat making the hand signs was crazy.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

These are the ones that also failed open book tests

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I saw her… so feeble minded. 🤦‍♀️

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

“But we’re alright, we are alright though” I hate to be the one but no lady you escaped the loony bin and you are so fucked. You been smote by the big guy!

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Charles Austin's avatar

That assumes that she has one.😂😂

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Joanne Beck's avatar

feeble yes, minded, no!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Oh I have been, they are the kids that never pay attention, the ones I wondered what happened to.

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SPW's avatar

I’m so going to copy that saying 🤣🤣

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un poco loco's avatar

yep, stealing this one lol. I know some people who are actually this dumb, and unfortunately some of them are involved in running the state govt.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Agreed!😂😂😂😂😂😂

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James B's avatar

What's a Slinky?

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Katharine Peck's avatar

Google is your friend. Also, I started my growing up in the 50's, so there's that.

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James B's avatar

Sorry Katharine. Should have put an LOL as I was being a bit on the sarcastic side. I thought I’d double down on the too dumb to operate a slinky theme! The originals were awesome!

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Katharine Peck's avatar

Hovering over your name here, I saw, "Could we, as a species, survive without music?". NO, we absolutely could not! And oh the days, sitting at the top of the basement steps of our house, watching the awesomeness of that Slinky making its way down! Pity the kids that didn't have any steps at their house. I should have realized you were kidding, and with the music thing - you sound like a pretty awesome guy.

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David A Pitock's avatar

Lots of fun

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Burke's avatar

Last year a Monmouth University poll found that 20% of American adults (50 million humans) believed the fantasy story that the National Football League conspired with Taylor Swift for the KC Chiefs to win the Super Bowl, which they surmised, would somehow help Joe Biden's re-election. These are the same morons who are addicted to Qanon dangerous and addictive silliness. Fantasy is more exciting than their boring lives. See JD Vance's mentor Curtis Yarvin. Reality is what you make up in your mind. Not what you observe in physical reality. They call it Dark Enlightenment. Hah! Add this to your Stupids list.

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Follow The Money - cui bono's avatar

“Fantasy is more exciting than their boring lives.”

That actually explains a lot. Thank you for that. I’m so incredibly practical about everything (I’m an accountant and tax pro) I just had no clue how people could believe the insane things that are said and never fact-check anything. This helps explain it.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

So true so true. preach it bro.

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Marie Martin's avatar

Yes. It helps explain that there are such people, but WHY is going to be the $64 trillion question. (See what I did there? “T”, not “M”. Gotta take a big step to imbue the correct level of importance these days.)

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Tully's avatar

They're also very fearful people so fantasy helps alleviate some of that as long as the fantasy has someone in it saying he will fix it all. Like little kids who never outgrew their fairy tales.

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

Dark Enlightenment? I can’t say I’m surprised. I would say the decision to believe that able bodied angels are protecting trump would fall under this category.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

"Dark enlightment" = Delusion.

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Randy Woodall's avatar

Exactly.

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David McBarron's avatar

I’ve done statistics for longitudinal cohort studies for 40 years. Too many skew factors for that number to be true. Pardon me if I’m wrong; I think you made that number up.

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Burke's avatar

Here's the poll:

https://www.monmouth.edu/polling-institute/reports/monmouthpoll_us_021424/

Hey google. How many adults live in the US?

As of July 2023, there were 262,083,034 adults in the United States, which is 78% of the total population. This is made up of people who are 18 years old and older.

20% of 262 million is 52.4 million.

I didn't make the number up. You are more expert in this field so you tell me. I just read stuff.

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Burke's avatar

Oops. I just read the poll again. The percentage of believers in this conspiracy was 18%.

18% x 262 million = 47.16 million. Sorry I exaggerated with the 50 million.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Like

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Schnauzermom's avatar

Can we get the Village People to sue whoever ripped off their song?

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Nancy Potter's avatar

They're still too busy laughing at how their gay anthem has become the favorite song of the Christian Nationalists.

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Teri's avatar

Burke, Taylor and Travis were to announce their engagement during last SB halftime show and/or jointly endorse Joe Biden for POTUS.

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Linda Weide's avatar

Here is a discussion on Misinformation and the White Nationalism. I am sure these folks belong to groups discussed in here.

https://youtu.be/tMEnvIQokQg?si=bTjlkZ6GaOgi4Lvh

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

Winner

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Teri's avatar

Alison for the win! 🏆 "Too dumb to operate a Slinkey" ROFLMAO! 😂😂

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Hey, Kat says the Angels have flesh and she has already sent a million of them to Pennsylvania Avenue. They only have to wait there for 9 more days. BTW, they're already there, but has anyone seen them?

Jeff has a standard way of ending his wonderful posts and I think I Need to have a standard way to close out my comments.

Jeff, you are funny. Stop doubting yourself. The only time I dislike your substack is when you Apologize or doubt your Gift for humor. Stop it! Just about the ONLY thing I DO NOT worry about is whether Jeff Tiedrich will be funny today.

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Christina Kasica's avatar

We can't see the angels yet, because they will wait for Felon Day to turn themselves on.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Who let you know?

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Jan 11
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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Total agreement.

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David McBarron's avatar

Nice one.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Like

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

I can’t stop laughing, Alison. Oh FFS, hilarious. We are now living in The Onion times!

Seriously, how is it these MAGAts are so stupid?

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Loving this Alison!!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

*Chef's kiss* for the Slinky line.

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PTW's avatar

Alison, FYI I'm stealing "too dumb to operate a Slinky." (I will always credit you.)

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Karen Hall's avatar

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

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Barbara Morgan's avatar

🎯💯✌🏻💙

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Marie Martin's avatar

Brilliant.

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Doreen Garza's avatar

That’s pretty frickn dumb 😂😂😂

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Jenny Bizzoco's avatar

The Slinky part is what got me😂

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Sköll's avatar

Er, those aren't Ethereal Team Six angels... those are the Fallen Angels that were flung headlong from the heights of Heaven. Poor Trump.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Wotta world Wotta world. Kat seemed to be winning the batshit battle until the ever reliable Naomi W. entered the contest. Then the bookies cleaned up. She’s the Secretariat of nutsoville. No contest. Took it by 17-1/2 lengths.

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T L Mills's avatar

yeah, that was my thought. actually, I didn't think there was much difference amongst those three to choose a winner...but man, there is an awful lotta people in this country who clearly need some serious doses of xanax or valium or something. whoa!!! none of these folks are living in what most of us recognize as reality.

(and yes, the concept of Trump fans who are too dumb to operate a Slinky certainly does win the internet today! a hundred thanks for the laugh!)

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

A million thanks for spelling ‘whoa’ correctly. I’ve seen wayyyyy too many ‘woahs’ everywhere.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Thorazine.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Yes. I blame that POS Reagan.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I’m just going to say RFK Jr. has turned what was once an intelligent person, into a cognitive tosspot Neal!!

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I place him in a separate category, but closer to Naomi W. than the charismatic charlatans. Very close.

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Marla's avatar

That's what being addicted to heroin for 14 years will get ya.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

Well done, Dr. Neal. (Since Naomi Wolf got a PhD in philosophy and now goes around pushing that insanely overused title "Dr." in her narcissism, rather than just letting ACTUAL doctors have sole use of the prefix, I'm giving you an honorary 'doctorate' in commonsense commenting, commencing now!)

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Marie Drozdis's avatar

Doctor, defined as Teacher, came long before medical doctors took over the title.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

True, true, true. They stole our prestigious title.

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Jeff Chernoff's avatar

Didn't know that! Thx.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Naomi W. turned to the Bannon universe during Covid’s early devastation and it has been a deep slide downhill from that point. Irredeemable.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Ever read Doppelgänger by Naomi Klein? Well worth it. Holy shit.

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steve robertshaw's avatar

No, but after seeing some reviews it sounds intriguing. And interestingly, though THIS Naomi has a few honorary doctorates, notice she doesn't throw that out there in her promotions, unlike her namesake 'doppelganger' Naomi Wolf. But I'm being too harsh on Wolf for this, she doesn't seem to use it extensively; my irritation got the better of me. It's her nonsensical conspiracy writings that make her the butt of jokes.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

This PHD is obviously no student of history. It is well documented that human beings caught up in a devastating situation that they have never experienced before often seem stunned and out of it. Get out of your silo, doc!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Jeff, what a batshit collection of stupidity!!!!!!! This week is just totally off the charts, but it's all their fault. Jeffrey Tiedrich had nuthin' to do with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9nnZtKD99Q

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOVE this!!

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Charles Austin's avatar

I remember when Naomi was sane. WTF??!?

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kdsherpa's avatar

Was she?!

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Tess's avatar

These “religious” people are fucking insane! And I guess the maga moron driving the car didn’t have any special maga angels watching him! And the eyelash thing…what the hell is wrong with people?! I know….maga, maggots, blithering fools….yada yada yada. Have a nice weekend everyone!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

WTH is wrong with people? I'll never live long enough to find out! The human race is in serious decline. 😂😂😂

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Lisa59's avatar

When I worked in mental health, a local church asked me to help out those in the church struggling with issues. After one month, I quit. I told the pastor this was way above my pay grade. They're batshit fucking crazy. I don't have a PhD. However, it wasn't hard to spot borderline personality disorders and those hearing voices. Now, they get a fucking looney tunes podcast.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Hearing voices is seriously a schizophrenia symptom.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

She'd be living homeless under a freeway overpass in most circumstances.

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Lisa59's avatar

One of them wanted to unalive her husband's mistress. In a godly way. I get her point. But, whoa! She was crazy.

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kdsherpa's avatar

Marvelous!

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Lisa59's avatar

Yep!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Yes, we were in Italy touring St Francis of Assisi church, and they explained how he started hearing "god" talk to him. my husband whispers, "ah, he was schizophrenic!"

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Carol JLH's avatar

Lisa59, I hit "Like" 3 times on this comment just so I could Like it twice. (I wish an acronym existed for "This is a horrible state of affairs but it's so on-brand that I'm LOL.")

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Steve Kelly's avatar

PhD simply stands for 'Piled Higher and Deeper' - I have a right to say this because of my 33-year career in higher education.

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Lisa59's avatar

That's good! Some of the people I worked with were crazier than the patients. That's why my bio says “I'm not crazy, I checked.” Well, maybe a little. 🤭

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

If you don't have a little crazy, you're not right.

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David A Pitock's avatar

Everybody's got a little

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D Kitterman's avatar

I doubt that the human race has never NOT been in serious decline and have somehow managed to survive our stupidness so far because we reproduce like rats. We just keep repeating the same increasingly dumb stuff over and over.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Thats a good point. I keep hoping we might do better someday. But there will always be crazy, wont there? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

Of course you’re right. Crazy used to be viewed as dangerous, now it’s celebrated as religion.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Well said. 👏👏👏

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Stupid people breed. They are too stupid not to.

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Tully's avatar

Saw a cartoon some 25 years ago I never forgot. It shows salmon struggling to get upstream to lay eggs. A guy on shore comments that it's too bad humans aren't tested like that before they can be allowed to reproduce.

I've seen very smart parents have much less intelligent children and vice versa, so there's no rhyme or reason to our ability "to survive our stupidness"!!

My 40 y/o PhD + 2 Masters niece and her 65 y/o university faculty head partner thought their child was going to be very well endowed brain-wise. He is not, much to their chagrin. I could have told them our reproduction components, both male and female, degrade with time, but I've learned to stay silent at times! Musk the Dufus is past that point also, but he thinks he's reproducing geniuses (13 tries so far) to re-populate the world.

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Jeff Chernoff's avatar

"Regression to the mean" is the applicable phrase. Smarties always hope they'll have genius kids, but nature doesn't do it that way.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Neo-feudalism spawned dark ages Susan!!

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Steve Kelly's avatar

And welcome to the new Amerikkkan Dark Age.....

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T L Mills's avatar

Agreed! We probably hit the high point of human development with the Cro Magnon people!

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Susan Burgess's avatar

I think it had to be built in, like the oak tree in the acorn. Give the acorn certain conditions and it will become a tree. Give a human certain conditions and it will be an agent of chaos or an agent of, you guessed it, love.

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Steve Kelly's avatar

Kinda like a slow-motion extinction. No asteroid necessary.

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Charles Austin's avatar

🤦🤦🤦🤦

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Hmm, we should start trend with these MAGA morons that self castration is somehow going to keep them alpha. That would solve the overpopulation issue referenced below.

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Lisa59's avatar

Fabulous!! Spread the word! 🤣🤣🤣

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Cheri Collins's avatar

😂🤣😂 Excellent suggestion!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

🤣🤣🤣. Yes please! Time to thin the herd of stupid!

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Susan Keefer's avatar

😂🤣👍

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Self emulation would be preferable HI2!!

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D Kitterman's avatar

"Neuter and spay, it's the only way!"

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Im still holding out for the super deadly strain of COVID to appear, but a highly effective vaccine is developed just before it becomes pandemic. That should thin out the herd quite effectively. And we lose all the idiots who ‘do their own research ‘ and multitudes of magats.

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SeekingReason's avatar

I’m waiting for the sign that says Satire. But it doesn’t show up! 🙄

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Teri's avatar

Tess, I thought that guy was getting eyelash extensions. In younger years, I got lash extensions, but never had a shaver-like tool used. So, more incel bs, idiocy, lunacy.🤯

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

They probably don’t want to look like JD!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

He's got permanent eyeliner though, his lashes thing was his wife's stupid comment covering up for that fact..

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kdsherpa's avatar

Permanent?! How creepy is that?!!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I’ve had it since 2007, they told me it would last seven years, but it is still there. It is simply tattooed on. It doesn’t look quite as good when your lids sag with age, though.

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kdsherpa's avatar

Nothing does. I point that out to the young people I meet who are tatooed from head to toe with gorgeous images. They all hang their heads and say, "I know." But then I reassure them that everyone in their age group will look exactly like them, and that cheers them up! :-) [P.S. When I was doing my Psych Residency in the early 1980's, we were taught that a person with tatoos was very likely to be a sociopath. It took me a while to get used to the way things are now. LOL!]

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

DAMN IT!

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOL!!!

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kdsherpa's avatar

The moron didn't have any maga angels because all 1,000,000 of them are lined up along Pennsylvania Avenue waiting for January 20.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

You as well Tess!!

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Edith Brideau's avatar

OKay, this one had me laughing so hard I might have peed a little. The idiots in that car, the woman who thinks she's been to heaven, the moron getting rid of his eyelashes (now he's going to get all kinds of crap and bright lights in his eyes - eyelashes are there for a reason!). I'm gonna go back and watch the bad driver again. It never gets old! Thanks, Jeff!

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Bob's avatar

Nothing more manly than an eye infection or even a scratched cornea. If America emerged from the Reagan years dumber, I shudder to think where we’ll be in four years.

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Susan Keefer's avatar

Is that when these psycho morons first emerged, after the Reagan administration?

Then after the first Trump administration, the psycho morons came out of their holes completely and are fucking up our country. Now that they put Trump back in office, they’ll never go back in their holes. 😫

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Reagan worked hard to get rid of the Department of Education and bind those who aspire for further education with huge financial debt Susan!!

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Susan Keefer's avatar

Yep. Trump is the worst president in American history and Reagan is the next worst. Although, without Reagan, Trump wouldn’t have happened. 😫

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kdsherpa's avatar

Agree 100%.

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Steve Kelly's avatar

And he (RayGun) began in earnest the destruction of the American middle class. Besides, he was a lousy actor.

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kdsherpa's avatar

Thanks so much for a name for him! I hadn't figured out a name.

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Susan Keefer's avatar

People started calling Reagan that when he ran for governor of California.

He was the worst.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Without Bill Barr, Reagan would have been charged with treason, and the denizens of this blue spinning cosmic ball would be much better off today Susan!!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Thanks Susan, having researched Federalist Society and its members , Opus Dei, fuckery and a thorough analysis of Barr, I’ve had his number since his CIA days… I’ve always wondered why he hasn’t found time in an oubliette? How he was confirmed, considering the FOIA revealed his cover- ups Irangate , Iran Contra et al.

Colour me disgusted, with much of what I know of the going’s on in this country!!

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Susan Keefer's avatar

I don’t know what to do.

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Tully's avatar

Well, we can always hope there's really a gate to hell waiting for some of these bastards. Lately, I've learned why so many follow some form of religion with retribution ideation!

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Susan Keefer's avatar

It makes me sick. 😫

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kdsherpa's avatar

And not just "been to heaven", but been there LOTS of times.

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Dave Drell's avatar

She gets Reward Points

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I'm speechless. And that never happens. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

That pink hair, though! 🤣

I will watch the genius wrecking his car over and over. HA!

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Karen Livolsi's avatar

Yeah, I’ve already watched it 13 times and it keeps getting better every time I see it it!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I mean... thats some very DEEP dumb right there. 😂😂😂

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

“It keeps getting better EVERY time I see it. Now, what do you think? Am I qualified?” So Beetle Juice. So awesome.

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Karen Livolsi's avatar

I’m from Pittsburgh and yes, you got me! Love Michael Keaton!

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SPW's avatar

Saw it posted on YT by Tabitha Speaks Politics. She was watching it with great joy. Bunch of dumb fucks for sure.

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Bob's avatar

I like how he doesn’t have the brains to slow down and then over corrects with one hand. Gee, his door won’t open. I wonder why. He should have dropped his phone when the skidding began, but then it wouldn’t be as entertaining.

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Paula Dean Coykendall's avatar

Was alcohol involved by any chance?

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Kaye Stone's avatar

No. They are naturally stupid.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Mmmm....Could be.😂😂

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

That’s the gift that keeps on giving Susan!!

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Bill Corbett's avatar

Everyone is doing such a good job; I'm finding it hard to make a comment.😂

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Cassandra Here's avatar

I did, too, and am sending the YouTube to friends and fellow activists because somewhere in all this shit there must be a pony, er, a laugh.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Is he dead or did an airbag continue the mutation?

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Charles Austin's avatar

The MAGA motorist clip is classic! 😂😂😂😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Honest to god. I’ve watched it several times and laughed and laughed 😂😂

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george  campbell's avatar

I hope those poor stupid people in the car crash did not get injured . Is this a metaphor for the entire MAGA movement in the not too distant future ? .

Oh , and your insurance adjusters will be in touch with you as your premiums skyrocket .

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D Kitterman's avatar

Hahahahahaha. Their insurance company is gonna drop them like a used XXXXL Trump Diaper. Thanks world wide web, and Jeffy!

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george  campbell's avatar

Some folks never learn . You can't fix stupid .

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Their insurance company probably donated big bucks to Trump. That's how upside down this all is.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Insurance companies are some of the biggest grifters in this country.

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Charles Austin's avatar

THE biggest.

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kdsherpa's avatar

Now THAT'S the best comment yet!!!

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SPW's avatar

Especially since their dumbfuckery was video’d and splashed all over YT. Idiots gonna idiot.

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george  campbell's avatar

Back in the day , stand up comedian Jay Leno had a bit where he featured incredibly dumb law breakers who helped in their own apprehension by authorities . He never ran out of material on that .

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Jayme Wolworth's avatar

And it sounded to me from the apology that he gave that it wasn't even his car! "OH SHIT SORRY Jamie! LOLOLOL

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Charles Austin's avatar

Unfortunately, that class of dipshit doesn't believe in seat belts.

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PTW's avatar

I would call that "fortunate," Charles. #DarwinAwards

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Cheryl Keeping's avatar

But are angels actually IN the room with her now?

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

"yes they are" is what Kat would answer

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Touché Jeff!!

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kdsherpa's avatar

But I thought they were all lined up along Pennsylvania Avenue. Why are some of them wasting their time with her??

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Charles Austin's avatar

Theyr EVERYWHERE, like Elvis!( per Mojo Nixon😂😂)

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL!

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Hi Jeff, with all the crying about Donald’s conviction and non sentence, I bring u to a conversation I had with MAGA yesterday… It seems he felt the charges and verdict from a jury of his peers was bogus.. he should never have been charged.. period. I then asked if he was OK if John Gotti called a Justice on the Court a day before a ruling was OK, well sure. I then asked why John Gotti didn’t do the same? Were the charges and sentencing of Gotti, Martha Stewart and Berni Madoff justified? No answer.. I then said if you do the crime in NY you do the time… Next… he just walked away… Best to all…

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D Kitterman's avatar

Good job, Fastball.

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Teri's avatar

Hey Fredo, I thought you were golfing in the New Year with a non-maga group? Still appreciate your reports, but you've put up with a lot of crazy.

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Hi Terri and all members of our community.. I have not played with the MAGA group in over a month.. holidays, family emergency, hey that’s life. In terms of my writing above, I do communicate with 1 MAGA who used to be in the newspaper business, seems reasonable but not all the time. I do appreciate your concern and enthusiasm over Golf with MAGAS which I intend to start up again as soon as I am able to tie up the loose ends I have been presented with a family emergency. Best to All.

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Alee Robbins's avatar

I always look forward to reading your MAGA golfing posts. How you manage to keep civil with them is commendable. I hope you don't have ulcers? Lol!!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Glad you're back!

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kdsherpa's avatar

"Martha Stewart" -- I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you put her into that group of criminals!!

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Charles Austin's avatar

💪💪👍

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HI2thDoc's avatar

So sick of these fake Xtians. Talking about Biblical retribution? Whatta they think they're gonna get for grifting the Holey Roller community the way they do?

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Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

What gets me is that the vengeful god who smites everybody for no reason is the Old Testament God. Christians are supposed to follow the New Testament. The Old Testament is just a prologue or a historical reference. They don't even seem to understand that they're supposed to try to be like Christ even though it's right there in the name. Hey, dipshits, behave more like Jimmy Carter and less like Mike Johnson.

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KMD's avatar

These "Christians" PREFER the Old Testament, because of all the smiting of their enemies.

No New Testament Matthew 25 for them: "Love your neighbor, feed the hungry, shelter the homeless, care for the afflicted, and welcome the stranger."

F-ing hypocrites.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Or "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God"

Matthew 19:24

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

I always keep this in mind.

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kdsherpa's avatar

Excellent point!

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Ima hoping Holey Mike is reserving his room in Hypocrite Hell. But he doesn't care since he has that gargantuan orange ass to kiss, after all.

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Outdoorluvr's avatar

Is Hypocrite Hell on a different floor? Just askin', because I've been repeatedly told I'm going to hell, and embraced the idea of being with all my friends, but I don't want to be anywhere in Holey Mike's vicinity!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Dante suggests so in his "inferno".

"In Dante's Inferno, hypocrites are punished in the eighth circle of hell. Specifically, they are placed in the sixth pouch of this circle, where they are forced to wear heavy, beautiful-looking cloaks that are actually filled with lead, symbolizing their deceitful outward appearance hiding corrupt inner motives.

Key points about the eighth circle and hypocrites:

Sin of Fraud: The eighth circle is dedicated to the sin of fraud, which includes hypocrisy.

Malebolge: This circle is also called "Malebolge" which means "evil pouches".

Punishment for hypocrites: They wear heavy cloaks that appear beautiful on the outside but are filled with lead, representing their deceptive facade."

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

Sometimes I really wish I believed in hell.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Me too, Antonin Scalia would be getting spit roasted by the side of Rush Limbaugh…

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Thanks for that reference. I’ve never read Dante.

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kdsherpa's avatar

Would you mind writing down what all of the circles of Hell are? Enquiring minds want figure out where to place each character in this sorry play we are being forced to watch. Thank you very much.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

The nine circles of Hell in Dante's Inferno are:

Limbo: The first circle, where those who were unable to accept Jesus Christ are held. They are not tormented, but are not allowed to reach heaven. 

Lust: The second circle, where sinners are buffeted by a howling gale. 

Gluttony: The third circle, where sinners are rained upon by filth and excrement. 

Greed: The fourth circle, where sinners push great weights around in a giant circle. 

Wrath: The fifth circle. 

Heresy: The sixth circle, where sinners reject religious and political norms. 

Violence: The seventh circle, which is further divided into sub-circles or rings. The third and final round of the seventh ring includes violence against God, Nature, and Art. 

Fraud: The eighth circle, where sinners consciously and willingly commit fraud. 

Treachery: The ninth and deepest circle, where Satan resides. 

Dante's Inferno is the first part of the 14th-century narrative poem The Divine Comedy by Italian writer Dante Alighieri. The poem describes Dante's fictionalized journey through Hell, guided by the Roman poet Virgil.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Ya know, I’m not aware that these Holey Rollers have ever elucidated on a floor plan of Hell so your guess is as good as any

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOVE IT!!

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D Kitterman's avatar

They are such stupid grifters, and lack any imagination as to how fucked up they actually are.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Crooked lying bastards who clearly do not believe in any of the doctrine and principles they say they do. Soulless, money grubbing assholes. If there is a Hell, there is probably a special hotter room for these types. At least I hope there is.

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T L Mills's avatar

I rather like the idea of Trump and Company--including the screwed up pseudo-christians--all doing the backstroke in the Lake of Fire.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I doubt he can swim. Float maybe

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kdsherpa's avatar

FOTF -- AGAIN!!

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T L Mills's avatar

oh dear...this old lady can't keep up with the latest slangy acronyms.

the last I heard, FOTF stood for that protestant fundamentalist group Focus on the Family. so other choices: Fellowship of the Force or Fear of the Future............ what else?

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kdsherpa's avatar

Thank you. I've just been writing "christian". Xtians will be quicker.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

And more appropriate because these faker con artist hypocrites do not behave in a Christ-like manner

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Tama2U's avatar

God being a bit of a dick and needing anger management is understandable considering those crazies calling and visiting all the god damned time.

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

Where to begin? Does ol' Kent not think God's aiming at Dear Leader for giving that same medal to Rush Limbaugh and Jim Jordan?

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Teri's avatar

Susan, when CF & maga are expelled, lots of big/little tasks needed to restore America. We need iron clad rules re who gets Medals of Freedom, and a process to take back hateful Limaugh, Gym Jordan, Marian Soros or Adelson for starters. No felons, con artists. Back to ultra fine Americans.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Soros is not a bad guy, he's been defending democracy and education since he escaped being killed by the nazis as a teen.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/george-soros-is-a-goddamn-hero

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Teri's avatar

Natalie, thanks for that good info. I've always been confused between Soros and Adelson. Who's D or R. Soros sounds like a good man.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Adelson was the bad one. He’s dead, but his wife Miriam got the Medal after paying Tangerini big bucks for it. More people should know who George Soros really is. The first thing Orban the dictator in his native Hungary was shut down Soros’ University.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Well played Susan!!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

That was my first thought. That orange infestation of larceny, gave it to a bloviating bag of hate.

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Darrell Smith's avatar

We need to alert MTG to the weather manipulation waves, man! She'll get to the bottom of it guaranteed.

I have Charles Fort's books on all of the weird things that were recorded in newspapers. No weather manipulation waves in there. We live in a time when nothing weird is happening but people are weirding out at a alarming rate. Maybe someone like Charles Fort can write a book about them.

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Gina's avatar

I miss the good old fish-falling-from-the-sky days - so much simpler then

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Teri's avatar

Gina, FL weather alert: Iguanas will be falling from the skies:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/falling-iguanas-cold-weather-florida/

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

It's freaky when they do that, iguana icicles can be deadly.

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TCinLA's avatar

Does God have to tell these dumbfucks to breath in, then breathe out?

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David Jones's avatar

Somebody does.

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Name: lenora good, Guest's avatar

"frankly, God could stand to take an anger-management course or two. take it down a notch or two, bro."

Yessssss, my lovely, YESSSSSSSSS!!!

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Deb Martina's avatar

..."there is a natural death that’s getting ready to hit wicked people in this nation"... well that oughta be fun 🙃. I have a different list.

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Mike Hammer's avatar

Pastor Kent and Kat better take care not to accidentally summon the Dybbuk!

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