328 Comments

for the record, Ms. Spouse says the "Chinese soldiers are running the Panama Canal" fantasy originates with Laura Loomer, but a google search fails to confirm that, either

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Maybe Loomer is a Chinese soldier?

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Well, if Ms. Spouse says it, it must be so and I’ll accept it as my personal reality.

Best I understand, that’s how it’s done now.

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If my grandpa said “They’re eating the pets!” And “Let’s take over Greenland and Panama and Canada. And invade Mexico!” And “Russia is our friend!” The family would restrict him to the Dementia Ward.

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Durpitude. What you get when you combine durp stupidity with moral turpitude.

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I can’t believe he worked in Cornpone, as it related to John Kennedy backwoods speech patterns. Great work marvelous really!

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At a time in human history when intelligence and wisdom are greatly needed to compete on the world stage, we inaugurate an old, demented, liar, conman to run the country. America First? Not anymore.

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it's the fucking scariest scenario in the world that we have this utter ignoramus coming into power, and his sycophantic minions....help us all to survive it...It's nothing but "evil speak" for the next 4 years, with intimidation, hate filled rhetoric and lies

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I think it may be as simple as that President Musk wants these bright shiny objects and Putin and Xi told Donnie Dipshit he could have 'The New World' as long as he ignores what they do to Europe, Asia, The Pacific, and Africa.

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Looking forward to when the American People finally realize that these ongoing Congressional ‘clown shows’ just allow our adversaries cover to position themselves… it’s still working :/

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That doesn't quite explain The Orange Dipshit's continuing obsession with acquiring Greenland, but his general ignorance about the world certainly does.

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Shipping lanes. Shortest route for Putin when the ice is gone, in a few short years.

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I think Jeff explained why Elon Musk wants the US to have Greenland a few days ago.

https://www.jefftiedrich.com/p/oh-look-elderly-golfer-is-a-geopolitical

I cannot wait until Elon gets the heave-ho back to South Africa or maybe to Canada.

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No doubts that the other of the coin holds the smirking face of Putin Stephan!

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Yep. You just nailed it.

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Putin needs the shipping lanes. The Arctic ice will be gone in about 10 years in the summer. He ordered fpotus to get them.

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Those bright shiny shipping lanes, you mean! And yes, that is a bingo!

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WOW. Just Dumb Vance will have a lot of ammunition when he and the Heritage Foundation 25th Amendment the crazy fucker. Unless of course Putin decides a window fall would be better for optics.

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I’m looking forward to a intense jealousy battle between Elon and JDVance

🍿🍿🍿it’s bound to happen 😅😅

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(chef's kiss!)

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Fingers crossed for Putin.

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It's the first time I've ever rooted for Putin, in my fantasy he gets "big Boris" to dangle the Orange Fuckwit over the balcony of the tower at Mar-A-Lago. And tells him Hillary was better, and he never would have won if Putin hadn't helped him, and that he didn't help him because he liked him, he knew he would fuck up badly.

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The various spell-checkers no longer underline "defenestration" as a non-word. That's progress for ya.

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According to Newsweek magazine "While a subsidiary of Hong Kong-based CK Hutchison Holdings manages two ports at the canal's entrances, with Chinese firms funding construction of a new bridge over the canal to the tune of over $1 billion, this does not equate to control of the canal's operations."

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/fact-check-does-china-control-the-panama-canal-as-trump-suggests/ar-AA1wv7Sm?ocid=BingNewsSerp

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That's also included in the article, word for word I think, presented as fact checking.

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Thank you for this.

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OK, Loomer....

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Yikes, loads of oddities on that site K-EI, Loomer appears to be jealous of Trumps new Nazi lover boy!!

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Trump has so many Nazi lover boys Musk is just taking over from a long line, but may not be the favorite.

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Yesterday, I wished you and Mrs. Spouse, "Merry Christmas" even though you are Jewish. Does that count as a war on Christmas?

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it's a fatwa

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🤣🤣🤣🤣 Fatwa?! Here in this community??

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Tonight my husband was talking about Charlemagne and all the people he killed or forced into Christianity. Somehow this made me think of that conversation.

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Nah, Jewish people get that all the time. No big deal, really.

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It's still a good reason to say Happy Holidays.

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What’s this? Chinese PLA soldiers running the Panama Canal? And here I thought all these Chinese soldiers were going to cook a great Chinese meal for Christmas day as I’m sure the Jewish community would attend… afterwards watch a movie like Scarface. Guess I’m wrong. Best to all.

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If the Zealots had some 4:20 time they might chill the fuck out.

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Jeff, it was originally your imaginative use of profanity that attracted me to your Substack but your sense of irony is wonderful. We are gonna need all the humor we can get for at least the next 4 years.

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“Come for the creative profanity, stay for a masterclass in irony”. 🙌

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I second this! These daily reads are a bright spot as we barrel down on the forthcoming shitstorm.

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It's already a shitstorm and the delusional wannabe Emperor Anus Lips hasn't even taken office yet. And you throw in that super rich, asshole illegal South African immigrant into the mix, you have a duo of leadership that could only come from the cesspool of hell. Hopefully these two imbeciles will cancel each other other out at some point and we'll see some signs of normalcy during the next four years.

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Nicely played Rick!!

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Thanks Patrick.

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They will. Oh, they will!

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Like

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Well said. My greatest comfort is the very real possibility that the rancid double dong duo will surely fuck each other senseless before they can completely fuck the rest of us. Here’s hoping!

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May you be a prophet!

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Like this a lot!!

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Dec 26
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#PresidentMusk's co-conspirator-convict has pledged to begin the mass deportation "in the first nine minutes" after swearing in. That'll slow them down some.

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Dec 26
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Unelected South African *illegal* immigrant

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oof

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It's part of my recommended reading list!

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Amen, Laurie. When we're in Survival Mode, Jeff is the person to call on.

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Tax Cheater Trump is being sued in Panama for falsified tax returns under-reporting his income. He has a big personal debt to pay. That is at the root of Trump’s diatribes about expansionism. At first he only mentioned Panama. Then he expanded the U.S. expansionism plan. He is trying to hide that personal Panama debt fact with diversions. We need for all to be aware of the sleazy “negotiating” tactic: using U.S. military saber rattling to counter his personal criminal activity—in direct violation of the Logan Act. How disgusting. https://www.propublica.org/article/trump-companies-accused-tax-evasion-panama

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If you removed the country names, I bet he couldn't find Panama on a map!

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turn the map upside down and he would think Brazil is Canada

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LOL! Truth.

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Once again proving that whatever subject he rants about, he's already committed some illegal atrocity about.

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The odds are not good otherwise in Vegas.

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I don't think that is the whole of it. I'm sure that either Putin or Putin via Skum is whispering in Trump's suspiciously quick-healing ear. Expansionist talk is an excellent way to make former friendly neighbors very, very nervous and suspicious. Even better way to split countries away from NATO and clear the way for Putie's own expansionist plans.

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AGREED:

"It is easy to make fun of Trump's shit talk about Greenland and the Panama Canal, but I worry that he is seeking to normalize the idea that each of the world powers has a natural "spheres of influence." That is, it serves to legitimate Russia's war in Ukraine and China's ambitions for Taiwan".

- Kerim Friedman (bsky.social)

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THIS. The bellicose ramblings of an insane, increasingly senile old fuck are the distraction. I recall Trump's trip to Saudi and their placing of hands above the white globe. He's the tool for the global expansionism of our adversaries.

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He's a tool, all right!

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An extremely dull, useless one.

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Jeebus, I was just thinking about that glowing orb this morning. Strange where the memory wanders.

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Trump is a narcissist. There is only one person for which he cares. He owes Panama. He went after Panama by itself first. Every analysis of this new Trump threat should come with a reminder: In 2019, the owners of a Panama City hotel tower that was previously managed and operated under the Trump brand, accused Trump Panama Hotel Management LLC and Trump International Hotels Management LLC, of not paying the required 12.5% taxes to the Panamanian government. Instead, the lawsuit alleges, the companies simply kept the money, “intentionally evading taxes” and leaving the new owner liable for millions. The new owner, Mr. Fintiklis and his companies are collectively seeking about $35 million in damages from the Trumps, through legal proceedings in Manhattan, where the Trump organization is based, and in Panama and before an international arbitration panel.

The filing in Manhattan on Monday (6/2019) outlined for the first time the accusation of tax evasion. Mr. Fintiklis, who filed suit against Trump, and his companies cited a Panamanian law that imposes a 12.5% tax on payments to a foreign entity like the Trump Organization.

The Trump’s company, the filing alleged, “used its control over the hotel bank accounts to make payments to itself and affiliates without withholding the 12.5% tax on its management fees, thus intentionally evading taxes.” Fraud.

A tax audit of the hotels submitted as evidence found massive inconsistencies. The case is still pending in New York District Court.

The singular verbal attack Trump made on Panama was too obvious even for Trump. He added other countries as an afterthought to divert attention and cover his self-serving tracks. Everything does not have to be a conspiracy. https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-panama-canal-threats-hotel-taxes-court-filing-2005079

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I think this goes back to the "we create reality" business from the Reagan neocons. It's not necessarily a conspiracy, it's just that these places are on his shopping list for one reason or another. You can take everything he says as either serious or a diversion but not both and the things his admin followed through on last time did surprise people. Throw in a pandemic or a war or climate events and youve got a recipe for chaos. Foreign policy is a house of cards, power and resources are now in a constant shift across Asia and Africa in curious consolidations. Trump's 1st admin buried it's own report on climate and doubled down on leasing and drilling and poaching wherever possible in some kind of ultimate resource grab so I think Putin and musks desire for the spheres model is real...I'm not counting my chickens or placing any bets this time around.

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"suspiciously quick-healing ear" Lovely!

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Don't mock him! He's Superman. I'm surprised the shrapnel (was it really shrapnel?) didn't bounce off him and ricochet until it hit a reporter.

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LOL!

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It’s the weave

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Both his elocution style and his hair style.

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awesome comment :)

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According to Trevor Noah, he wears a discount weave.

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The only way he can pay his debts is to sell off our country’s secrets and assets to the highest bidders. And the DOJ will be his and presidents are now immune. Nice.

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I'm shocked that Kennedy is a Rhodes scholar. I thought he was genuine dumbass, like Tubby. The facade makes his act even more repulsive.

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Every time I hear Kennedy speak, I am reminded of Foghorn Leghorn. Actually, he kind of physically resembles Foghorn

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I know, right? I say, I say, he sounds a might like a big fucking Kentucky fried chicken!

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Now that, I say, now that's a bit below the belt. Ah am, I say, ah am from Loooseeana.

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Well I never....

...saw a man do his very best to sound like a cartoon rooster from the holler until I done seen that Kennedy feller.

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Exactly. Perfect epitome of Foghorn! I have always thought the same like va many others I imagine. And the Kennedy name is kind of jarring in some way on old cornpone

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LOL Thanks for pointing that out, Ole Anderson. I hadn't ever thought about that mini shock I feel every time somebody says, "Kennedy" then cuts to that yahoo.

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WTAF? A Rhodes Scholar? Rachel Maddow and Pete Buttigieg are Rhodes Scholars. That Sen. John Kennedy puts on a fake down home facade is disgraceful.

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Yep he made the necessary ‘adjustments’… 🤢

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He just takes his teeth out for his special effects.

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Heroin and the worm ate the smart parts. It's pretty bad when even the worm rejects part of someone's brain.

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Do not confuse Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana with RFK Jr.

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I "oops-ed" a reply already. Still, can't tell the difference between one brain-dead Kennedy and another. If anyone is old enough to remember Green Acres, he sounds a lot like Mr. Haney. Makes my skin crawl.

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I can't stand listening to either Kennedy! So cringe-y!

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RFK Dooner blames vaccines for his vocal dystonia, but his grandmother had it, and so does his sister.

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Why that ain't nothing but a darn tootin' coin-ee-ink! *"mutters* "... Comin' round here with that seance nonsense"

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Mr. Haney! 🤣😂🤣

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Skangirl, ewww! Yeah, but now I'm bummed. Mr. Haney of Green Acres, goofy as he was, didn't offend like John Kennedy (no relationship to RFK Jr. or the REAL Kennedy family).

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