324 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

for the record, Ms. Spouse says the "Chinese soldiers are running the Panama Canal" fantasy originates with Laura Loomer, but a google search fails to confirm that, either

David (Dave) Jaspers's avatar

Maybe Loomer is a Chinese soldier?

Lois Henry's avatar

Well, if Ms. Spouse says it, it must be so and I’ll accept it as my personal reality.

Best I understand, that’s how it’s done now.

Stephen Brady's avatar

I think it may be as simple as that President Musk wants these bright shiny objects and Putin and Xi told Donnie Dipshit he could have 'The New World' as long as he ignores what they do to Europe, Asia, The Pacific, and Africa.

P123Sunny's avatar

Looking forward to when the American People finally realize that these ongoing Congressional ‘clown shows’ just allow our adversaries cover to position themselves… it’s still working :/

un poco loco's avatar

That doesn't quite explain The Orange Dipshit's continuing obsession with acquiring Greenland, but his general ignorance about the world certainly does.

Hannah's avatar

Shipping lanes. Shortest route for Putin when the ice is gone, in a few short years.

Linda Weide's avatar

I think Jeff explained why Elon Musk wants the US to have Greenland a few days ago.

https://www.jefftiedrich.com/p/oh-look-elderly-golfer-is-a-geopolitical

I cannot wait until Elon gets the heave-ho back to South Africa or maybe to Canada.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

No doubts that the other of the coin holds the smirking face of Putin Stephan!

Bonnie Council's avatar

Yep. You just nailed it.

Hannah's avatar

Putin needs the shipping lanes. The Arctic ice will be gone in about 10 years in the summer. He ordered fpotus to get them.

Cat Cafe's avatar

Those bright shiny shipping lanes, you mean! And yes, that is a bingo!

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

WOW. Just Dumb Vance will have a lot of ammunition when he and the Heritage Foundation 25th Amendment the crazy fucker. Unless of course Putin decides a window fall would be better for optics.

Donatella  Dillon's avatar

I’m looking forward to a intense jealousy battle between Elon and JDVance

🍿🍿🍿it’s bound to happen 😅😅

arne link's avatar

Fingers crossed for Putin.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

It's the first time I've ever rooted for Putin, in my fantasy he gets "big Boris" to dangle the Orange Fuckwit over the balcony of the tower at Mar-A-Lago. And tells him Hillary was better, and he never would have won if Putin hadn't helped him, and that he didn't help him because he liked him, he knew he would fuck up badly.

skangirl's avatar

The various spell-checkers no longer underline "defenestration" as a non-word. That's progress for ya.

Major Kong's avatar

According to Newsweek magazine "While a subsidiary of Hong Kong-based CK Hutchison Holdings manages two ports at the canal's entrances, with Chinese firms funding construction of a new bridge over the canal to the tune of over $1 billion, this does not equate to control of the canal's operations."

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/fact-check-does-china-control-the-panama-canal-as-trump-suggests/ar-AA1wv7Sm?ocid=BingNewsSerp

Jeff Chernoff's avatar

That's also included in the article, word for word I think, presented as fact checking.

Sooz Hall's avatar

Thank you for this.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Yikes, loads of oddities on that site K-EI, Loomer appears to be jealous of Trumps new Nazi lover boy!!

Linda Weide's avatar

Trump has so many Nazi lover boys Musk is just taking over from a long line, but may not be the favorite.

Kaye Stone's avatar

Yesterday, I wished you and Mrs. Spouse, "Merry Christmas" even though you are Jewish. Does that count as a war on Christmas?

Teri's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Fatwa?! Here in this community??

Linda Weide's avatar

Tonight my husband was talking about Charlemagne and all the people he killed or forced into Christianity. Somehow this made me think of that conversation.

Cats 🐈🐈‍⬛'s avatar

Nah, Jewish people get that all the time. No big deal, really.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

It's still a good reason to say Happy Holidays.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

What’s this? Chinese PLA soldiers running the Panama Canal? And here I thought all these Chinese soldiers were going to cook a great Chinese meal for Christmas day as I’m sure the Jewish community would attend… afterwards watch a movie like Scarface. Guess I’m wrong. Best to all.

Cassandra Here's avatar

If the Zealots had some 4:20 time they might chill the fuck out.

User's avatar
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Dec 26, 2024
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Dec 27, 2024
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Anne E Sweeney's avatar

it's the fucking scariest scenario in the world that we have this utter ignoramus coming into power, and his sycophantic minions....help us all to survive it...It's nothing but "evil speak" for the next 4 years, with intimidation, hate filled rhetoric and lies

User's avatar
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Dec 26, 2024
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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

I can’t believe he worked in Cornpone, as it related to John Kennedy backwoods speech patterns. Great work marvelous really!

Nancy Drew's avatar

Jeff, it was originally your imaginative use of profanity that attracted me to your Substack but your sense of irony is wonderful. We are gonna need all the humor we can get for at least the next 4 years.

P123Sunny's avatar

“Come for the creative profanity, stay for a masterclass in irony”. 🙌

Maia Kultra's avatar

I second this! These daily reads are a bright spot as we barrel down on the forthcoming shitstorm.

Rick Calegari's avatar

It's already a shitstorm and the delusional wannabe Emperor Anus Lips hasn't even taken office yet. And you throw in that super rich, asshole illegal South African immigrant into the mix, you have a duo of leadership that could only come from the cesspool of hell. Hopefully these two imbeciles will cancel each other other out at some point and we'll see some signs of normalcy during the next four years.

Maia Kultra's avatar

Well said. My greatest comfort is the very real possibility that the rancid double dong duo will surely fuck each other senseless before they can completely fuck the rest of us. Here’s hoping!

User's avatar
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Dec 26, 2024
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Teri's avatar

#PresidentMusk's co-conspirator-convict has pledged to begin the mass deportation "in the first nine minutes" after swearing in. That'll slow them down some.

User's avatar
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Dec 26, 2024
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Robert Eckert's avatar

Unelected South African *illegal* immigrant

Richard's avatar

It's part of my recommended reading list!

Dan Beach's avatar

Amen, Laurie. When we're in Survival Mode, Jeff is the person to call on.

Carl Selfe's avatar

Tax Cheater Trump is being sued in Panama for falsified tax returns under-reporting his income. He has a big personal debt to pay. That is at the root of Trump’s diatribes about expansionism. At first he only mentioned Panama. Then he expanded the U.S. expansionism plan. He is trying to hide that personal Panama debt fact with diversions. We need for all to be aware of the sleazy “negotiating” tactic: using U.S. military saber rattling to counter his personal criminal activity—in direct violation of the Logan Act. How disgusting. https://www.propublica.org/article/trump-companies-accused-tax-evasion-panama

skangirl's avatar

If you removed the country names, I bet he couldn't find Panama on a map!

Dave Drell's avatar

turn the map upside down and he would think Brazil is Canada

Carol JLH's avatar

Once again proving that whatever subject he rants about, he's already committed some illegal atrocity about.

Carl Selfe's avatar

The odds are not good otherwise in Vegas.

T L Mills's avatar

I don't think that is the whole of it. I'm sure that either Putin or Putin via Skum is whispering in Trump's suspiciously quick-healing ear. Expansionist talk is an excellent way to make former friendly neighbors very, very nervous and suspicious. Even better way to split countries away from NATO and clear the way for Putie's own expansionist plans.

P123Sunny's avatar

AGREED:

"It is easy to make fun of Trump's shit talk about Greenland and the Panama Canal, but I worry that he is seeking to normalize the idea that each of the world powers has a natural "spheres of influence." That is, it serves to legitimate Russia's war in Ukraine and China's ambitions for Taiwan".

- Kerim Friedman (bsky.social)

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

THIS. The bellicose ramblings of an insane, increasingly senile old fuck are the distraction. I recall Trump's trip to Saudi and their placing of hands above the white globe. He's the tool for the global expansionism of our adversaries.

skangirl's avatar

He's a tool, all right!

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

An extremely dull, useless one.

arne link's avatar

Jeebus, I was just thinking about that glowing orb this morning. Strange where the memory wanders.

Carl Selfe's avatar

Trump is a narcissist. There is only one person for which he cares. He owes Panama. He went after Panama by itself first. Every analysis of this new Trump threat should come with a reminder: In 2019, the owners of a Panama City hotel tower that was previously managed and operated under the Trump brand, accused Trump Panama Hotel Management LLC and Trump International Hotels Management LLC, of not paying the required 12.5% taxes to the Panamanian government. Instead, the lawsuit alleges, the companies simply kept the money, “intentionally evading taxes” and leaving the new owner liable for millions. The new owner, Mr. Fintiklis and his companies are collectively seeking about $35 million in damages from the Trumps, through legal proceedings in Manhattan, where the Trump organization is based, and in Panama and before an international arbitration panel.

The filing in Manhattan on Monday (6/2019) outlined for the first time the accusation of tax evasion. Mr. Fintiklis, who filed suit against Trump, and his companies cited a Panamanian law that imposes a 12.5% tax on payments to a foreign entity like the Trump Organization.

The Trump’s company, the filing alleged, “used its control over the hotel bank accounts to make payments to itself and affiliates without withholding the 12.5% tax on its management fees, thus intentionally evading taxes.” Fraud.

A tax audit of the hotels submitted as evidence found massive inconsistencies. The case is still pending in New York District Court.

The singular verbal attack Trump made on Panama was too obvious even for Trump. He added other countries as an afterthought to divert attention and cover his self-serving tracks. Everything does not have to be a conspiracy. https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-panama-canal-threats-hotel-taxes-court-filing-2005079

Anne Whitney's avatar

I think this goes back to the "we create reality" business from the Reagan neocons. It's not necessarily a conspiracy, it's just that these places are on his shopping list for one reason or another. You can take everything he says as either serious or a diversion but not both and the things his admin followed through on last time did surprise people. Throw in a pandemic or a war or climate events and youve got a recipe for chaos. Foreign policy is a house of cards, power and resources are now in a constant shift across Asia and Africa in curious consolidations. Trump's 1st admin buried it's own report on climate and doubled down on leasing and drilling and poaching wherever possible in some kind of ultimate resource grab so I think Putin and musks desire for the spheres model is real...I'm not counting my chickens or placing any bets this time around.

kdsherpa's avatar

"suspiciously quick-healing ear" Lovely!

skangirl's avatar

Don't mock him! He's Superman. I'm surprised the shrapnel (was it really shrapnel?) didn't bounce off him and ricochet until it hit a reporter.

Carol JLH's avatar

Both his elocution style and his hair style.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

According to Trevor Noah, he wears a discount weave.

Eileen's avatar

The only way he can pay his debts is to sell off our country’s secrets and assets to the highest bidders. And the DOJ will be his and presidents are now immune. Nice.

Susan P Thatcher's avatar

I'm shocked that Kennedy is a Rhodes scholar. I thought he was genuine dumbass, like Tubby. The facade makes his act even more repulsive.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Every time I hear Kennedy speak, I am reminded of Foghorn Leghorn. Actually, he kind of physically resembles Foghorn

Kevin King's avatar

I know, right? I say, I say, he sounds a might like a big fucking Kentucky fried chicken!

HI2thDoc's avatar

Now that, I say, now that's a bit below the belt. Ah am, I say, ah am from Loooseeana.

Kevin King's avatar

Well I never....

...saw a man do his very best to sound like a cartoon rooster from the holler until I done seen that Kennedy feller.

Ole Anderson's avatar

Exactly. Perfect epitome of Foghorn! I have always thought the same like va many others I imagine. And the Kennedy name is kind of jarring in some way on old cornpone

Carol JLH's avatar

LOL Thanks for pointing that out, Ole Anderson. I hadn't ever thought about that mini shock I feel every time somebody says, "Kennedy" then cuts to that yahoo.

Teri's avatar

WTAF? A Rhodes Scholar? Rachel Maddow and Pete Buttigieg are Rhodes Scholars. That Sen. John Kennedy puts on a fake down home facade is disgraceful.

P123Sunny's avatar

Yep he made the necessary ‘adjustments’… 🤢

Hannah's avatar

He just takes his teeth out for his special effects.

skangirl's avatar

Heroin and the worm ate the smart parts. It's pretty bad when even the worm rejects part of someone's brain.

Susan Jane's avatar

Do not confuse Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana with RFK Jr.

skangirl's avatar

I "oops-ed" a reply already. Still, can't tell the difference between one brain-dead Kennedy and another. If anyone is old enough to remember Green Acres, he sounds a lot like Mr. Haney. Makes my skin crawl.

Susan Jane's avatar

I can't stand listening to either Kennedy! So cringe-y!

Susan P Thatcher's avatar

RFK Dooner blames vaccines for his vocal dystonia, but his grandmother had it, and so does his sister.

Teri's avatar

Why that ain't nothing but a darn tootin' coin-ee-ink! *"mutters* "... Comin' round here with that seance nonsense"

Cheri Collins's avatar

Mr. Haney! 🤣😂🤣

Teri's avatar

Skangirl, ewww! Yeah, but now I'm bummed. Mr. Haney of Green Acres, goofy as he was, didn't offend like John Kennedy (no relationship to RFK Jr. or the REAL Kennedy family).

Susan P Thatcher's avatar

Cancan Cruz sounds like Mr Haney

skangirl's avatar

I like to demonstrate that I'm fallible and also willing to admit my mistakes...on the rare occasion that I make one, of course.

Barbara Rengstorff's avatar

I usually say that I made a mistake once - it was when I thought I was wrong but I wasn’t. 😁🤪😁

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

A Rhodes scholar who enjoyed reading sections of porn literature into the Congressional Record, thinking his obsession with dildos shamed the "woke" more than the dumbass state that elected him to office.

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Yes, & to make matters worse, I think he has a degree from Oxford- bleh…

Paula Dean's avatar

But it does go with being a Rhodes scholar

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Yes… goes to show that academic knowledge alone does not always make one a decent person

P123Sunny's avatar

SO tired of these ppl disrespecting their own constituents. 😓

Susan P Thatcher's avatar

It's a way of demonizing intellect and education.

Hannah's avatar

He takes his teeth out to sound like a down home dunce.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

It’s once again that special time of year when the Klan hoods get dusted off — metaphorical and literal — and them crackers gits riled up gud. Happy Holidays, everybody, and yippee-ki-yay, muthafuckahs!

skangirl's avatar

They can use those hoods to make white flags of surrender, when the NATO countries respond to trump's attempts to add Canada and/or Greenland (both NATO nations).

Instead of Project 2025, maybe *that* was the plan all along!

Mary Hall's avatar

I’ve been having a fantasy that Germany and Japan will have to liberate us from ourselves.

Kevin King's avatar

I hear Denmark is in the running to be our overlords.

Major Kong's avatar

I, for one, welcome our new Scandanavian overlords.

Kevin King's avatar

Yeah, rational government and healthcare? Sign me up!

Mary Hall's avatar

The happiest people on earth live in Scandanavia.

T L Mills's avatar

I would WELCOME rational government instead of the effing mess we currently have that attempts to pass for government--Judas H. Priest the R's and MAGAS really are fucking crazy aren't they?!?

Kevin King's avatar

Being how you brought up Priest, MAGAs and Republicans are "breaking the law, breaking the law"!

Cheryl Keeping's avatar

I'll take Denmark any day!

Carol C's avatar

We experienced Danish medical care after an injury. Because we were tourists not part of their system, they apologized for charging us about $63 for urgent care which included the wound inspected and dressed by an actual doctor, a tetanus shot, and some extra specialty bandages. And they called a taxi for us to get home. (Worried Danes drove us there from the senior games soccer tournament.)

Cheryl Keeping's avatar

One of the best things we ever did was host a Danish exchange student many years ago. We consider him our son and his lovely family as ours, too. I'd go live in Denmark any time.

arne link's avatar

I'll take Denmark. The Danes are nice people.

Rick Calegari's avatar

The British and the Australians would be more than happy to assist as well.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Now that would be ironic

Dave Drell's avatar

There is no Canadian or Panama invasion - it’s all a bunch of hot air spoken by a giant douche bag who knows ZIP. about

international politics or international finances . We will be ignoring this random diatribe until the next

ridiculous mind-fart he blows.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Our media should be highlighting that 750,000 Russians have been killed in Putin's invasion of Ukraine to date. Where is Trump going to get the manpower to soft or hard invade Panama, Canada, Mexico, and Greenland? War of the drones? Reactivate the draft? He can go to hell.

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I mean I have a long going multi part for all of us in the LGBTQIA spectrum for what’s coming next : https://open.substack.com/pub/thedruidwendy/p/surviving-the-next-trump-term-an-2a1

Jack Carter's avatar

Marjorie has definitely lost her remaining marbles. Omg!

Barbara Morgan's avatar

Did she even have any? 🥴🤨💙✌🏻

Pamela Rhodes's avatar

I have never been more repulsed by a human being like I am toward MTG. She makes my skin crawl, my hair catch fire, and the fury I feel toward her is unmatched. Such a wasted human existence.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

When is she converting to Roman Catholicism like the rest of those mental mendicants?

Chris Craddock's avatar

Maybe they’re too busy enjoying their victory lap. Gotta hand it to them though, they consistently manage to persuade clueless rubes to vote against their own self interest.

JJ-TaxNinny's avatar

I'm checking the banner on my substack far too often for new Tiedrich posts.

Thanks for being you. :)

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

We shall relent in our war on Christmas when it cedes occupation of October and November

arne link's avatar

I'm hearing this in Nate Bargatse's voice whilst wearing full Colonial garb.

Teri's avatar

It was soooi nice not to hear or read one word about the "War in Christmas" this year except for context in a Jeff post.

Hannah's avatar

It now starts in September, right after Labor Day.

Tess's avatar

You certainly spelled that out perfectly…if only the followers of “Lord Emperor Shitticus” could read and think for themselves!

Mary Hall's avatar

That moniker is definitely going on the list.

vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

Now I'm wondering who is the Nazi behind Donny's online screeds... Miller? Elon? He's too addlepated to be writing all of that

arne link's avatar

I believe it must be JewNazi Miller. Elon is too busy with his Ketamine addiction and impregnating women.

Paula Dean's avatar

It could be Dressed Like a Homeless Person Bannon. He has a long history of feeding lines to the Diaper Don.

P123Sunny's avatar

👕👔👕👔👕

Teri's avatar

Where did #PresidentMusk spend Christmas? At his TX compound, with two wives & 13 (?) children? Or attached to doncon's hip?

Hannah's avatar

He posted that he was listening to a 4 hour book. No mention of family. No, I don't have Xitter, saw some screenshots.

Darrell Smith's avatar

If Doofus the First wants to invade Panama, he will have to invade Mexico to begin with. He is trying to emulate his Hero Putin by invading anyone nearby. He will find out that the US military is not as in love with Putin and for invading our neighbors as he is.

All the rest of the Doofus garbage is going to find out that they are not welcome in our government. They are going to find out what happens when you step on the American people.

arne link's avatar

Oh, Lord. I hope you are right.

Teri's avatar

Yep, the violent Mexican drug cartels are gonna want a word with President Musk and doncon. Maybe MS13 will be the greeting committee.

Pamela Rhodes's avatar

From your words to the ears of the Universe.

P123Sunny's avatar

Who do you think is ‘directing’ him… fascinates me how out in the open all these shenanigans are… ngl = dread :/

Hannah's avatar

Drones, and bombers. No boots on the ground. It's the way we play war now.

Tama2U's avatar

Going off script here, but is anyone else dreading the coming Year in Review crappola coming? I can’t bear the recaps of the recurring nightmares we’ve endured. The ongoing trauma doesn’t need needle mark boosts of how we got here, imho. A fundamental shift has occurred in my psyche, and PTSD is not cured by reliving the horror. Unicorns and rainbows are kind of my thing for the moment.

Steve Kelly's avatar

Couldn’t agree more with you here. Four years (That’s pretty close to 1,460 days!) of relentless Amerikkkan failure we can anticipate. Unicorns and rainbows 🌈 are clearly needed.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

I'm going for "Nosferatu" to lighten up.

Robert Eckert's avatar

Four years is 1461 days because we have to endure one extra day in 2028

Hannah's avatar

Ignore them. I have received 3 already supposedly personalized and a couple general topics. I deleted them without reading.

Irascible Ink's avatar

OMJFCG. Please, PLEASE Liberal Party of Canada, will you please nomiate Chrystia Freeland to head the party and run for PM?? We need a strong woman to stand up to this delusional assclown once and for all. FUCK, I hate being right about this, but I have zero doubt that Hair Vonshizinpantz will try to pull a Poland if he thinks he can get away with it. I WILL take up arms against my fucking homeland if pushed. 🇨🇦

Kim Nesvig's avatar

So the Panama Canal is the Sudetenland. Canada is France.

Irascible Ink's avatar

Canada is Poland. We share a border and a big friendly kiss. Of COURSE Governor Drumpf will ignore, exploit, and punish us for that.

T L Mills's avatar

🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

skangirl's avatar

(The Christmas card I received from the White House says both Happy Holidays *and* Merry Christmas.) Meanwhile, I received a barrage of "MERRY CHRISTMASES" over the past few weeks from the "Oh, goodie, we get to say Merry Christmas again" crowd. But it wasn't used as a fond farewell. It felt more like I was being bludgeoned. Aggressively. To each and every one of them, I cheerfully replied, "Happy Holidays!"

M3333's avatar

No way “shit for brains” demented Don the Con wrote that Christmas message on one of the holiest days of the year! It is called blasphemy!!!

Paula Dean's avatar

Can you imagine how Jesus would react to that hateful diatribe?

Dave Drell's avatar

I can only imagine Jesus reacting to him:

the hypocrite non believer money-grabbing thief & liar. He would be cast down with all the Sodomites!

Paula Dean's avatar

Oh no! The sodomites don't deserve to be stuck with him! I think Jesus would see tRump as Satan's right-hand man, and put the two of them together in the deepest, hottest pit.

Irascible Ink's avatar

Lighten up, Francis. Pretty sure we don't need charges of blasphemy hurled around.