oh look, Elderly Golfer is a geopolitical madman

Panama, Greenland, Canada and Mexico are all on Donny’s shopping list

hey, remember back when George W. Bush was the worst president we ever had? Junior Bush famously surrounded himself with neocons — power-mad warmongers like Paul Wolfowitz and Michael Ledeen — who filled his ear with nonsense about a grand vision of permanent American dominance that could be achieved by thoroughly fucking the Middle East’s shit.

George W. took their advice, and lied us into pointless and disastrous wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. he tried to dick with Iran as best he could, too. we all know how totally awesome twenty years of Middle East quagmires turned out for us.

well, shove over, George, and make room — there’s a new worst president ever in town.

Donny Convict is also being advised to achieve dominance by fucking shit up on a global scale — but he’s not listening to the neocons, who at least had some level of experience in foreign policy.

no, Donny has surrounded himself with a fucktangle of vainglorious lunatics who have no idea what they’re talking about, and no earthly clue how to achieve their batshit goals. Donny’s being advised by Sewer Cons.

on Saturday, Donny threatened to invade Panama and take back the Canal. we all had fun mocking the shit out Donny’s bluster, but he didn’t come up with the idea all by his lonesome.

this clusterfuck-to-come has the ketamine-addled cortex of President-Elect Elon Musk all over it — because you know who depends on global shipping lanes, don’t you?

The electric car manufacturer Tesla is to halt most production at its factory near Berlin for two weeks because of delays in deliveries of parts because of attacks on ships in the Red Sea.

Shipping delays in the Red Sea, caused by attacks by Iranian-backed Houthi militants, has caused Tesla to suspend most production at its German factory from 29 January to 11 February.

Tesla lost a shitload of money when Houthis shut down the Red Sea. now that President-Elect Musk is soon to have access-by-proxy to an army, he’s gonna make sure this pernicious fuckery doesn’t happen again.

but he’s going to start in America’s own back yard — because Tesla uses the Panama Canal, too.

isn’t it amazing, the things you can find on the internet?

suddenly, Donny’s anger over an increase in canal access fees makes sense — because there’s a 100% certainty that Donny had no idea that money changes hands when ships use the Canal — but of course the Space Nazi is all too aware of anything that affects his bottom line.

of course, there is also Donny’s own personal revenge motive.

I know, right? I, too, am shocked — shocked! — to learn that Donny is an international tax cheat. so it turns out that Donny is hella pissed at Panama for his own reasons — but that’s just icing on the cake. that’s just something President Musk can use to stoke Donny’s rage.

one of the crazier episodes of Donny’s first term happened in August 2019, when news broke that Donny had offered to buy Greenland from Denmark. it was a big bowl of what the fuck from left field, everyone mocked the shit out of this scatterbrained scheme. the best part was when an obviously-inebriated Larry Kudlow popped up on Fox News to defend the idea.

well, Greenland’s back baby.

last night, Donny took to his failing app to announce that Ken Howery was to be his pick for Ambassador to Denmark — and deep down in the post was an ominous threat.

“For purposes of National Security and Freedom throughout the World, the United States of America feels that the ownership and control of Greenland is an absolute necessity.”

so now Donny’s not just asking Denmark to sell us Greenland — he’s demanding it. that’s nice.

this time around, there’s a reason for Donny’s northern land-grab: eventually, climate change is going to make all the Arctic ice go fuckity-bye, opening up new shipping routes at the top of the world. controlling Greenland would put the United States right in the thick of this new profit center.

As global temperatures rise, Arctic sea ice is quickly diminishing — so quickly, that the Arctic could have ice-free summers by 2035. If this happens, it will create larger Arctic waterways that allow for shorter maritime shipping routes between oceans and continents, eliminating thousands of miles from trips that would ordinarily pass through the Panama or Suez canals. These waterways include the Northern Sea Route (NSR) and the Northwest Passage (NWP), also referred to as the Arctic Passage, which are likely to become widely used shipping lanes.

shipping lanes, huh. President Musk stands to benefit if he no longer has to bother with the Panama or Suez canals. once again, Donny’s foreign policy is aligning itself with the Space Nazi’s business interests. weird how that keeps happening.

isn’t that lovely? as Donny lies to his cultists about climate change being a hoax, his cynical string-pullers are making plans to profit off its inevitable arrival.

but what happens when Denmark tells Donny to go fuck himself blind? does Donny go to war with the Danes? I’m pretty sure NATO countries aren’t allowed to attack each other. oh wait, Donny’s gonna pull us out of NATO.

fantastic.

so when Donny “jokes” about annexing Canada, you have to wonder — is he really joking? because Canada is also going to be jockeying for primacy as new Arctic shipping lanes open.

and then there’s this. it’s a story from a month ago that came and went in a heartbeat, because it seemed too ridiculous to take seriously.

Donald Trump and his team are reportedly debating “how much” to invade Mexico once he takes office, a new report claims.

Trump and his transition team staff are discussing a “soft invasion” of the country, Rolling Stone reports. These conversations come after Trump promised to “wage war” on drug cartels in Mexico both during his first term and on the campaign trail.

how would that even work, a “soft invasion” against a sovereign country with its own military?

if you think Mexico is going to sit back and do nothing as US troops stream across the Rio Grande, I have six bankrupt casinos in Atlantic City to sell you.

ostensibly, this “soft invasion” is all about stopping the drug trade. but guess who’s building their own shipping route from the Atlantic to the Pacific?

At Mexico’s narrowest point, linking the Pacific and Atlantic oceans, the government is building a railway rival to the Panama Canal with promises of economic bounty but amid fears of environmental and social harm.

here where we stand today: a demented megalomaniac who will soon have access to a nuclear arsenal — and who would love nothing more than to crown himself King of the World — is being manipulated by one or more greedy plutocrats who have their own business interests at heart.

what could possibly go wrong?

our saving grace, once again, will be that the Sewer Cons are delusional clownfuckers with a track record of failure after failure, and have no idea what they’re doing.

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let’s give the final words — or lack thereof — to Charlie Chaplin. please enjoy the globe scene from The Great Dictator.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.