lonely dipshit Donald Trump slept with classified documents

what the fuck, man?

Little Donny Fuckface did a lot of shit with the classified documents he stole.

he hid them. he lied about having them. he moved them, and hid them again. he pawed through them. he scrawled to-do lists on them. he airlifted them back and forth between his bedbug-infested Florida golf motel and his weed-choked New Jersey wife cemetery.

he waved them in the faces of randos who had come to interview him, and he bragged about their contents to his plutocrat golf buddies.

he ignored multiple pretty-pretty-please requests to return them to the National Archives, and then blew off a subpoena — and after Motel-a-Lago was finally searched, he claimed the FBI planted them. ten seconds later he claimed he had them because they belonged to him.

he then instructed his pool boy and his butler to destroy security tapes that showed him moving them.

and now we’re learning that this bizarre demento did something else with our nation’s most closely-held secrets:

he slept with them.

I shit you not.

So if you walk into the room, his bed — there’s a nightstand, his bed, and then there’s, like, a — where another nightstand was but nobody ever slept on that side of the bed usually so he would have it all full of boxes.

what the fuck, man?

the above quote is from an unidentified White House staffer known only as “person 81,” who was interviewed by members of Jack Smith’s team on February 4, 2023.

Donny was so enamored of these totems of power — they don’t let you look at this stuff unless you’re president — that he stacked them alongside his bed.

what a child. seriously, Donny’s so insecure that he has to take all of his toys to bed with him.

I don’t know, maybe by taking his precious classified documents to bed, Donny felt he was keeping them from being eaten by all the sharks. who knows what goes on in that worm-ravaged cortex of his.

and where was Donny’s Slovenian green-card trophy wife during all of this? who the fuck knows — Melania was off doing whatever she does to avoid having to be in the same room with the infuriatingly not-dead-yet overgrown garden slug who she only married because because she thought she’d be a wealthy widow by now.

this little nugget of ugh, gross was part of a filing Jack Smith made on Monday in rebuttal — refuttle? refutal? — to Donny’s insistence that the legally-executed search of Motel-a-Lago was a violation of his Fourth Amendment rights, and therefore the whole Big Trump Classified Document Fuckery Trial should go bye-bye forever, because it’s so unfair how they treated me and radical communist Jack Smith hates me and he has a stupid beard.

it’s just another one of those nonsensical filings that any judge not named Aileen Cannon would have immediately smacked down with a writ of stop wasting the court’s time on this bullshit, fuck-o — but of course Judge Fangirl not only tolerated it, but held two days of hearings about it.

we got some previously-unseen photos in Jack Smith’s filing. check out this shit:

this dog’s breakfast of spilled-open boxes and strewn-about papers is not the result of the FBI search — no, this is how the FBI found them.

In photographs attached to a 33-page filing on Monday night, documents marked “secret” and “top secret” or bearing the White House emblem are seen stuffed in cardboard boxes alongside piles of golf shirts, sitting on top of old newspapers, and next to crates of Diet Coke.

One image shows a closet with newspapers and other documents spilling out on the floor from tipped-over boxes.

on one hand, Donny treats his stolen documents like they’re his most-treasured possessions, waving them in people’s faces and bragging about their contents — but at the same time he also treats them like garbage. what a disordered mind. what a fucking lunatic.

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hey, here’s another heartwarming story about Donny Fuckbag, one that dovetails so nicely with his dream of putting migrants in cages and forcing them to beat the shit out of each other.

Barbara Res was an executive vice president at the Trump Organization, and she’s been making the rounds of the cable shows to push a book she’s written, Tower of Lies. here’s a charming little tale she told during an appearance on MSNBC:

Trump made Nazi ‘ovens’ joke in Jewish executives’ presence, ex-employee says

Barbara Res, lead engineer on Trump Tower construction, tells MSNBC of her former boss’s ‘ridiculous remarks’

holy fucking fuck, Donny said what to who?

“We had just hired a residential manager, a German guy,” Res said. “And Donald [Trump] was bragging among — to us executives, there were four of us — about how great the guy was and he was a real gentleman, and he was so neat and clean. And he looked at a couple of our executives who happen to be Jewish, and he said, ‘Watch out for this guy — he sort of remembers the ovens,’ you know, and then smiled.

“Everybody was shocked,” she continued. “I couldn’t believe he said that. But he was making a joke about the Nazi ovens and killing people, and that’s the way he was.”

“that’s the way he was.” ha ha! ovens are funny!

sucks to be you, Jewey Jewstein!

laugh it up, asshole. weird how Donny’s quote-unquote “jokes” always punch down cruelly — in this case, at an employee who has to stand there silently and take it.

just when you think this repulsive shitstain couldn’t be any more depraved, there’s always some new story that proves there’s no bottom to Donald Trump’s vile barrel.

Res, who worked for Donny for two decades and knows him about as well as anybody, has this debate advice for Joe Biden:

“I wish [Biden] would goad him and make him go nuts, because when he goes nuts, he’s really crazy,” Res said.

we’re all right here with you, Barbara.