a weekend’s worth of fucknuttery from the rotting brain of Donald J. Trump

what kind of psycho dreams up forcing migrants to fight

“let’s get migrants to beat the shit out of each other” is a big bowl of what the fuck is wrong with you?

“Dana White, did anyone ever hear of Dana White? he’s a legend, right? UFC. ultimate fighter, ultimate fighting, and he’s a fantastic man. I said ‘Dana I have an idea. why don’t you set up a migrant league of fighters and have your regular league fighters, and then you have the champion of your league — these are the greatest fighters in the world — fight the champion of the migrants. I think the migrant guy might win, that’s how tough they are.”

this is Donny Fuckface, speaking this past weekend at a thing called the Faith & Freedom Coalition, a gathering of allegedly-Christian conservatives. these quote-unquote “Christians” laughed their heads off at Donny’s suggestion that migrants be made to whale the tar out of each other for the bloodthirsty amusement of cheering crowds.

I’m going to need some more information here — because as with every parcel of sewage that oozes forth from Donny’s fetid anus-mouth, I have questions.

first and foremost, where are these migrant gladiators going to come from? let’s suppose that next January, Donny takes the oath of office. as part of his Day One Dickfuckery, he’s promised to round up every undocumented migrant in America — all eleven million of them — and put them into concentration — oh, excuse me, deportation — camps. so we can presume that this league of migrant fighters will already be inmates.

which brings me to my next question: how are these are these migrant gladiators going to be chosen? are they going to be selected? because you know who else had a fun little thing called “selection,” don’t you? of course you do.

Selection was the process of designating inmates either for murder or forced labor at a Nazi concentration camp.

you’d step off that boxcar at a place like Auschwitz, and some Nazi fuckface would look you up and down. he would decide right then and there whether you would be killed on the spot or kept around to be worked until you dropped dead.

hey, here’s another super-cool thing that the Nazis did — they forced Jews to fight each other to the death.

Among the lesser-known atrocities perpetrated by the Nazis during World War II were boxing matches that forced emaciated Jewish inmates to fight each other to the death for the entertainment of the German SS officers.

Like gladiatorial contests in the Roman Empire, these could go on interminably until one bare-knuckled fighter left the other bloodied and unconscious, so weakened he was useless as a slave laborer and would be hauled off to a gas chamber or crematorium or shot on the spot. While the officers cheered the winner, his prize might be an extra dollop of food so he could have the strength to fight again.

so yeah, Christians — keep this in mind as you laugh at God’s Own Avatar On Earth up there on the stage cracking his funny little ha-ha jokes: this is what he’s envisioning.

weird how every time you scratch the surface of one of Donny’s cruel flights of fancy, there’s always some Nazi-level atrocity going on.

I’ll bet that Stephen Miller has already worked out the logistics.

oh, by the way, these people who are calling themselves “Christians” — they’re totally down with Dear Leader’s sick fantasies.

“He likes to tell jokes,” said Kevin McPherson. “This is expressing how some of these illegal immigrants coming [into] this country are hardened criminals. And he’s trying to show that yes, there are criminals here.”

Another conference attendee, Bobbi Newman, said she didn’t hear Trump make the remark but would support the idea if Trump believed in it.

awesome, Bobbi — whatever’s cool with Dear Leader is cool with me. years from now you’ll be telling us I didn’t know it was happening, like so many Germans did after World War Two.

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Donny made a second speech this weekend, in a half-empty arena in Philadelphia.

it’s a good thing for the GOP that hardly anyone was there to witness it, because Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants was having one of his bad days.

Donny was so incoherent that at one point Fox News had to cut away from their live coverage, lest their audience discover first-hand what a deteriorating garbage scow Dear Leader’s mind has become.

Donny: “where there’s so much water you don’t know what do to with it. it’s called rain. it rains a lot in certain places, but uhhhh, no. their idea — you know, did you see the other day, they just put — I opened it up and they closed it again. I opened it, they closed it. washing machines to wash your … dishes. there’s a problem: they don’t want you to have any water. they want no water, and I was with one—”
Fox News bobblehead: “and you were just listening to former president Trump”

jeeee-zus, what the fuck is this word salad? “did you see the other day, I opened it up and they closed it again. I opened it, they closed it” — no, you gibbering gobshite, no one saw it. no one has any idea what “it” is that you opened, and they closed.

for years, Donny has been yammering on about imaginary toilets that need to be flushed a dozen time and shower heads where the water only drips out — but lately, he’s gone the extra mile and is now obsessed with the notion that the radical communist Democrats are trying to take away all the water.

this is the Donald Trump I’m rooting to show up at the debate on Thursday. I have my own fantasy, and it doesn’t involve forcing unwilling migrants to fight each other. no, what I envision is a debate where co-moderator Jake Tapper wheels a dishwasher onto the stage, and his fellow co-moderator Dana Bash asks Donny to show us how it works. pass the fucking popcorn, am I right?

now gaze in awe as Donny invents not one, but two new words.

“and my stupid people when I wanted to refute it, they said, sir, don’t dignify it with a refuttal. refutal or a refuttal? what the hell word would that be? refuttal. what, they’ll say he didn’t know refuttal or refutal but they don’t know either.”

it’s rebuttal, dipshit. now tell us again how you aced pointing to a picture of a camel, grandpa. that story never gets old.

Republicans won’t shut the fuck up about how Sleepy Brandon won’t be able to debate unless he’s all hopped up on drugs.

“they want to get him good and strong, so a little before debate time, he gets a shot in the ass, and that’s— they want to strengthen him up. so he comes out. he’ll come out. I — okay. I say he'll come out all jacked up, right?”

remember, with this schmuck every accusation is actually a confession — so this is all the proof you need that Donny’s gonna get a shot in the ass ten minutes before the debate, and come out rambling at a mile a minute about no-water dishwashers dragging a battery on a cart behind it while Hannibal Lecter fights a shark to the death.

speaking of rampant drug abuse …

a mind is a terrible thing to waste — even a coked-up mind.

holy fuck — is there not one person on this planet who cares enough about Individual-1 Junior to get him the help he so obviously needs?

too bad Junior doesn’t have a father like Joe Biden.