Liddle Marco and his ace team of shitwits got played by Russia — again

how was this even allowed to happen?

so, there’s this new ‘Ukraine peace plan,’ and, well —

tell me, is it a bad thing when Vlad Putin’s stooges dictate US foreign policy? is it a bad thing when the US Secretary of State passes off some farcical Russian ‘peace plan’ as his own?

is it a bad thing when the US foreign policy negotiating team is made up of corrupt, unqualified and inexperienced amateurs?

is it a bad thing when the US Secretary of State and the US Vice President apparently hate each other’s guts?

and is it a bad thing when the US President is so cognitively impaired and detached from reality that he has no idea that any of this dumbfuckery is going on right under his rotting nose?

this whole fucktangle of shitkazooery began last week, when Axios dropped this on us.

The Trump administration has been secretly working in consultation with Russia to draft a new plan to end the war in Ukraine, U.S. and Russian officials tell Axios.

oh huh, a peace plan to end the Ukraine war. I guess that’s … good?

spoiler alert: no, it’s not good. in fact, it’s double-plus-ungood — because look at the shitsticks involved in this so-called ‘negotiation.’

The meeting took place in Miami at the end of October and included special envoy Steve Witkoff, President Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner and Kirill Dmitriev, who leads the Russian Direct Investment Fund, one of Russia’s largest sovereign wealth funds.

just seeing the name ‘Steve Witkoff’ should be setting off alarm bells in your head, because here’s a fun fact about old Stevie.

Witkoff is not a seasoned diplomat. in fact, he’s not any kind of diplomat. he’s a real estate developer. he’s one of Donny’s New York slumlord cronies from back in the day.

and here’s the icing on your shitty Witkoff cake: this dumbfuck doesn’t speak any Russian — and he’s an easily-played dimwit.

remember last August when Donny set up that despot bestie playdate with Putin in Alaska, so they could announce yet another Ukraine peace plan? remember what happened? Donny got played by Putin, who had no intention of agreeing to any plan. that whole fucking debacle was Steve Witkoff’s fault.

Quickly, though, it became clear that Witkoff’s description of Putin’s offer was wrong, either because Putin had misled him or because he had misunderstood: Witkoff does not speak Russian and, according to former U.S. ambassador to Russia Michael McFaul, does not use a notetaker from the U.S. embassy.

as I wrote at the time.

oh, come the fuck on. Witkoff doesn’t speak the language, doesn’t use a US embassy notetaker, and relies on a translator provided by Putin. it’s a recipe for disaster, and guess what: a disaster is exactly what we got.

Witkoff was in way over his head, fucked up royally, and should have resigned or been fired on the spot. that’s what would have happened in any sane administration. but not only did Witkoff survive that embarrassing episode, he was then sent to negotiate another peace plan — and look who he brought with him: Jared Kushner, Donny Convict’s over-leveraged and under-qualified slumlord son-in-law. why is this low-wattage nitwit still involved in US foreign policy? and why are they ‘negotiating’ with an oligarch crony of Putin’s who runs a wealth management fund? not one of these dumb-asses has any foreign policy experience.

none of what I just typed makes a single lick of sense. oh shit, it’s happening again.

okay, so when this new 28-point ‘Ukraine peace plan’ leaked, the international foreign policy community was all ‘what the fuck? did Putin write this shit?’

it was a legit thing to wonder, because the ‘plan’ was the same laundry list of demands Russia’s been making since day one — especially this bit.

Territories:

a. Crimea, Luhansk and Donetsk to be recognized De-Facto as Russian, including by the United States.

b. Kherson and Zaporizhzhia to be frozen at the contact line, which would mean a De-Facto recognition at the contact line.

now here’s where the clownfuckery dial gets twisted way past eleven — because it came out that, in fact, Russia did author that ‘peace plan.’ Witkoff and Jared were apparently just acting as glorified stenographers and going ‘yes? what else would you like?’

next time, can we just send Beavis and Butt-head to ‘negotiate’? could they do worse?

hey, can we send Bruce Willis?

after the news leaked about the ‘plan’ being Russia’s, Marco Rubio posted this gobbledygook to Elon’s Nazi Bar.

“Ending a complex and deadly war such as the one in Ukraine requires an extensive exchange of serious and realistic ideas. And achieving a durable peace will require both sides to agree to difficult but necessary concessions. That is why we are and will continue to develop a list of potential ideas for ending this war based on input from both sides of this conflict.”

what does that even mean? did ChatGPT write Marco’s not-tweet? it sounds like a fifth grader giving an oral report on a book he forgot he to read.

‘the Ukraine peace plan is a plan for peace in Ukraine, and that’s why everyone should read the Ukraine Peace Plan. thank you.’

look, you can’t expect Marco to have any idea what’s going on — he has like fourteen jobs. dude’s a very busy guy.

for those of you keeping score at home, Marco Rubio is now Secretary of State, Interim National Security Adviser, the Acting Administrator of USAID, and Acting Archivist of the United States.

then, a bunch of US Senators told reporters that Marco had admitted to them that Russia had written that ‘plan’ — and that in fact, it was Russia’s ‘wish list.’

The senators said they spoke to Rubio after he reached out to some of them while on his way to Geneva for talks on the plan. Independent Maine Sen. Angus King said Rubio told them the plan “was not the administration’s plan” but a “wish list of the Russians’.”

at which point, Rubio went back to Elon’s Nazi Bar to insist that ‘nuh-uh, we wrote that shit.’

“The peace proposal was authored by the U.S. It is offered as a strong framework for ongoing negotiations It is based on input from the Russian side. But it is also based on previous and ongoing input from Ukraine.”

what the fuck? why all the backpedaling and flip-flopping? to what end? what does any of Marco’s repeated self-contradictive dissembling accomplish, except to make the US look like it’s run by a bunch of morons who even lie to each other?

which, another spoiler alert: it is.

fuck Marco Rubio. and fuck every Democrat who defended their vote to confirm this guy ‘because he seemed like Donny’s most-normal pick’

why was everyone in the administration blindsided by this? doesn’t any one of these clowns know what’s going on?

oh wait, there is one guy who was apparently aware of the whole thing: US Vice President Couchfuck McGee. it seems he’d taken a break from molesting furniture to greenlight this whole cockamamie clusterfuck in the first place.

this tidbit comes from Bill Kristol.

1. Vance key to US embrace of Russia plan on Ukraine, Rubio (and even Trump) out of the loop.

2. Vance-Rubio relations “awful.”

so now Couchfuck is running his own foreign policy operation, cutting the secretary of state — who he apparently hates — and even the president out of the loop? how is that even allowed to happen? am I on crazy pills?

remember when the job of a vice president was to sit there like a lump and shut the fuck up? used to be, they’d show the new vice president to their office and go ‘try not to break anything, we’ll call you if the president dies.’

not any more. thanks to Dick Cheney, it’s now the job of every Republican Vice President to fuck shit up — but at least Cheney kept George W. Chimpface in the loop.

Couchfuck is out here doing his own thing, and Demented Donny is off in cloud-cuckoo land.

Preznit Fuckwit can’t be bothered to pay attention to — or even care about — what his own flunkies are doing. he’s too busy tarting up the Oval Bordello. he’s too busy tearing down the East Wing, and planning gaudy monuments to himself all up and down the Washington Mall.

he’s too busy overhauling the golf course at Joint Base Andrews.

why does the airfield where Air Force One is kept have a golf course? doesn’t Donny already have enough of his own vermin-infested golf motels at his disposal?

apparently Donny’s also too busy pestering Hollywood to make more movies tailored to his own vulgar tastes.

“the president is offering some creative input on potential upcoming projects.”

way to keep focused on what’s important, you ginormous fucking clown.

oh, and don’t forget that Donny’s also too busy enriching himself and his family — an undertaking which is apparently going great guns.

Trump Media & Technology Group, the social media and crypto company, is trading at all-time lows as Bitcoin and other tokens keep plunging.

The Trump family’s holdings at their peak in mid-May 2024 were worth nearly $6.5 billion. Their value has fallen by more than $5.3 billion since then.

no one could have predicted that investing in imaginary money whose only purpose is paying for crimes would be a bad idea.

everything Donny touches dies — including, it seems, his own corruptly-acquired wealth.

shoot that shit right into my veins.

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

910 / 999