237 Comments
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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

"fucktangle of shitkazooery" — you're welcome, America

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Paw—Paw from PA's avatar

This 28-point peace plan is the biggest clusterfuck since Michael Scott’s “45-point 45-day plan” to turn Dunder Mifflin around. At least the 45-point plan was pure bullshit, whereas the 28-point plan is the Christmas wish list authored by Vlad Putin

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Zito, Anthony's avatar

Nice comment, but please say "surrender plan".

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Chet Brandt's avatar

This US negotiations team would fuck up a wet dream!!. Talk about ineptitude??!!!

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

At least Michael Scott snagged a free limo ride.

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Paw—Paw from PA's avatar

What a great episode of The Office!

However this episode of The Trump Administration is inducing even more cringe than Pam’s endless wait for possibly poisoned food at Jan Levinson’s Dinner Party

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Mps's avatar

I may have missed something, but is Ukraine actually involved in the drafting of these “plans”?

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Betsy L's avatar

No, of course not.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

No, not in any way.

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Susan Keefer's avatar

Witkoff was quoted on Twitter yesterday as saying how much he likes Putin. 🤬

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arne link's avatar

What is it with Putin that makes them love him so much. Is there something in the water? Is it his manly scent? They just get weak-kneed in his Prescence like Teenie boppers with Elvis. So weird for actual adults to act this way. I think Putin drugs them, I really do. Russia has the best drugs.

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Eric Smith's avatar

Even Prime Minister Neville “Peace in our time” Chamberlain, who got played by Hitler prior to WWII, could negotiate better than these Shitweasels with Vlad “the impaler” Putin. What a bunch of surrender monkeys.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

Cheeseburger-eating surrender monkeys

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Linda Weide's avatar

According to Ukrainian born Lev Parnas a former Trump fixer now turned enemy, and Canadian journalist Dean Blundell, Putin and Trump want this "peace" deal signed before the Epstein Files are released to share what Putin has on Trump, and what Russia's role has been, thus the pushed up deadline that no one thinks can be met. And, there are people who are adult in age who are not adult socially and emotionally. That would be what we are getting an overdose of from Trump and his ilk, and all of the people he interacts with. It is a relief to be annoyed with Merz, but not feel like he is the emotional age of a child. At least not yet. I do not want to listen to these people because doing so degrades me. They degrade us all. Every day I feel grateful that none of my friends or family act anything like this.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Putin’s 007 spy background makes Donny spooge down his pantlegs and onto his cankles.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

EW.... getting a visual, Joe. 🤦‍♀️😂😂😂

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Mps's avatar

Ewww ewww ewww

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

They are Republicans. They are and always have been STUPID.

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Monnina's avatar

Remember Putin is a trained Romeo FSB officer. The sad fact is how easily he can seduce these MAGA men. And what is an Acting Archivist ? The title conjured up pictures in my head of Rubio as Richard Burton thundering out tracts of historical Shakespeare plays.

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Steve Kelly's avatar

Vlad is the epitome of greed, cruelty, lust and power (and incompetence) that they worship.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

"Something in the water"? 🤣🤣🤣

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Money

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arne link's avatar

Yes, but it feels like more than that. There is something homoerotic about it. IDK, it's just weird.

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Keith's avatar

auto flower is from siberia

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Robert Eckert's avatar

Putin has a copy of whatever awful tape in the Epstein files they are all fighting like mad to keep in the dark, and everybody who works for Trump knows that Putin's butt must be continuously kissed to keep him from releasing it.

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Linda Weide's avatar

It is my understanding that Witkoff and Trump are in together on the Cryto business, and Russia is investing. I assume that is why and what Witkoff is negotiating. "What do you want us to do in order to invest in our crypto?"

"Here is a list of our 28 points. Get Ukraine and Europe to accept these and then we will invest some more in the crypto business."

"It's a deal!"

All of their business is tit for tat with foreign countries and American businesses.

Rubio is 4th in line to replace Trump. Witkoff isn't on the list. Of course Trump might want to can Rubio, but he cannot officially replace him without Congress approving it, and they seem less friendly to Trump right now.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Rubio has replaced Walt Nauta as Trump's chief valet, obediently schlepping compromised docs like Putin's Peace Plan around DC and stacking up his worthless responsibilities for devalued agencies in some toilet. Meanwhile, Vance is flexing his nuts as the future POTUS.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Does Rubio also fetch diet Cokes for Orange Hitler like Walt Notta Useful Fucking Molecule in that little dickhead’s body?

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DuduLovesBubu's avatar

To compare against some recent Bobby Brainworms news, I wonder if this new "Walt" Rubio has taken to "felching" the bullshit straight from Dear Leader's loaded diaper. That would explain the shit eating grin.

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Zito, Anthony's avatar

I couldn't decidedat first whether you meant 'cryo' or 'crypto'. Exciting times, eh?

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Steve Kelly's avatar

Yea, he seems nice.

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Wins internet today!

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arne link's avatar

Wins hands down. Life in the Tiedrich household must be so much fun.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

No doubt!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Jeff - you are the all time master of neologisms. Words we didn't know we needed until they exploded out of your computer.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Every morning, Jeff writes for us a fucktangle of Tiedrichery. We try to share it with our friends and coworkers, and they look at us like we're C*R*A*Z*Y.

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Tess's avatar

Yes…we will all use that!!

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MountainBoyMike's avatar

yes, thank you Jeff, and when I get to archiving all the Jeffisms over the years, this one will be on the list!

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Sheila Riley-Callahan's avatar

Best line of the day! Period!!!!!

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David (Dave) Jaspers's avatar

I'm still struggling to pronounce "shitkazooery".

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arne link's avatar

Practice, practice, practice.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

THE. BEST! The Keystone cops gif was icing on this sad cake. It's serious stuff, I know, but I laughed my ass off the whole way through. These idiots are so incompetent, maybe the rest of the world will take pity on us?

Nahhhhh....

We're all going to die. 🤦‍♀️

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Lisa59's avatar

LOL!!!! Yeah, We're so fucked. 🤣 It's an extra gummy morning.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

HA! I cant have any in Spain. 😤😭😭😭😭😭

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CE's avatar

The best!

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Susie's avatar

I couldn’t share that with my sister fast enough! We use your posts to communicate daily and this shit is everything! Every. Thing!!! 🤣👏🏻🤣👏🏻🤣

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Sue Fishkin's avatar

Nobody creates vocabulary like you Jeff (visualize hearts and bubbles floating around you)

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Joyce's avatar

You just hit Shakespeare Level 5.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I’ll add that to my vocab,

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

We have some outstanding nominees for “Wheel of Moron” just today, just thinking of the wheel makes me giddy as a little girl. May I put in a request just for the spinning soon because just here we have candidates that deserve 5 slots each on the wheel due to Extreme Moronic lifetime awards. Maybe dopey don gets 10 slots on the wheel and be called the King and Nobel winner of Moron neck medallion of lifetime degradation. That’s my wish I will think and pray about it maybe Christian nutcase red and white haired sicko can help with a spell of some sort.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

here's another reason to despise Rubio. I came across this while researching all the 'jobs' Marco currently holds. he's the one who negotiated the deal to send immigrants to that slave-labor gulag in El Salvador.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/02/03/americas/el-salvador-migrant-deal-marco-rubio-intl-hnk?cid=ios_app

apparently I wrote about it in February and forgot about it.

https://www.jefftiedrich.com/p/just-a-couple-of-dudes-planning-war

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Karen Rockwell's avatar

To be fair, he's probably forgotten too.

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Joyce's avatar

It speaks to the the bottom-level dregs that Donnie Demento scraped up to present for confirmation that there were people believing that Rubio was "at least qualified" for his (first) job. Remove the "at" and the belief becomes accurate. He is exactly like the rest--cruel, monumentally stupid (ask him about dinosaurs: he's going to struggle mightily), spineless, and wholly useless when he's not raking in cash for himself or causing chaos.

I think we can subtract one job from his list: 'Murrica don't give no aid no more to them ungrateful beggar countries. Them folks ain't neevin Christian!

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

"Little Marco: Unhappy at Last."

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Keith's avatar

it's ALL 'little marco's' SOP! after all he is the world's greatest water bottle juggler!

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

The little greasy fucker (along with fellow bearded clam greaseball Ted Cruz) also highjacked $3 million in Catholic relief aid around the embargoed Cuban communist government for hurricane assistance. They won’t even help US blue states with hurricane assistance!!

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Leu2500's avatar

Re cognitively impaired. Dementia docs told us it would be significant when Trump stopped playing golf. Well, despite it being 60-ish in DC Sun, Trump did not play golf. He didn’t even leave the WH. They called a lid at ~10:30 am.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

well that's certainly a thing to keep an eye on

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Ole Anderson's avatar

It’s a definite Bellweather. If he misses two weekends in a row then you can start counting the days.

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Richard's avatar

What he stayed in Washington? Guess he’s reeling from new boyfriend wunderkind Mamdani.

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arne link's avatar

He's pining away in the Lincoln bedroom with posters of Mamdani on the walls.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

What is a lid?

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Tex237's avatar

That’s when the press are told that nothing else will be on the President ‘s agenda that day.

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JOEL's avatar
3hEdited

You can make fun of all of these traitorous shitstains (Trump, Rubio, Witkoff, JDVance, Kushner) all you want, but what they are doing is NOT funny. Not. Funny. At. All.

Trump, our disgusting President, is Putin's Puppet. No doubt because Putin has a ton of kompromat on Trump.

This horseshit, traitorous plan does nothing other than give Putin exactly what Putin wants - Ukrainian territory. This is nothing other than appeasement. That's what Neville Chamberlain did for Adolf Hitler. Hitler, the most murderous, scumbag, fucking piece-of-shit ever to reside on Planet Earth. Now, we have an American President who is doing Putin's bidding.

Please, I would like to know what the fuck Congress is doing to say "FUCK NO" to this shit show. This isn't a peace plan. This is an American President telling a Russian dictator he can do whatever the fuck he wants to.

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arne link's avatar

Congress is trying to sneak out the back door without being noticed. This whole thing is terrifying.

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Charles J. Gibson's avatar

Currently, our blazing US Congress is ruled by a bunch of arse-kissing boot-licking Dear Leader cowards. Also, Putin's Peace Plan limits the size of the Ukrainian military, and prohibits Ukraine from becoming a NATO member. Both points clearly allows further rape of Ukraine by Putin.

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David M Marko's avatar

Here is the peace plan in one sentence. 'Vladdy take all your shit and go back to Moscow'. Full stop. No negotiatiions. If you don't agree we will sanction you until you collapse. Unfortunately, this will never happen because Putin has Donny and his billionaire fuckwits by the financial balls.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Send in the Space Nazi’s now-fired acne-addled 22-year old DOGE-bags one at a time to try and take out Putin. If they get bullet-riddled, we at least get something for the salaries we paid those useless little spreadsheet jockeying fucks.

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Paula Dean's avatar

Don't hold your breath.

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Kay-El's avatar

1. I read that peace plan / Rubio nonsense last night and my head exploded too. Off to the head factory yet again today for probably the 15th time this year.

🙄

2. The funny money melt down warms my heart knowing that Trump is probably crying into his Diet Coke. More ketchup please!

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

I called JP Morgan Securities 3 months ago to confirm that my 401(k) had no exposure to crypto (it didn't), and minimal exposure to AI (it was only 0.5%)

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Charles J. Gibson's avatar

Honestly, I just don't understand this crypto currency thing. Can you tell me: Are there actual coins and paper currency used for this pipe dream? Are the main holders/investors of this "currency" trying to push US currency out of the markets?

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

It's a bit like the Pet Rock from the 70s, except with the Pet Rock, you actually got a rock

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Kay-El's avatar

Best explanation I’ve seen. 😂

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Charles J. Gibson's avatar

OK, now I get it.

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David M Marko's avatar

I don't get it either. To me it seems like an elaborate Ponzi scheme. To say that it is fungible, negotiable currency is laughable. It has to be turned into dollars for value. It's like any collectable, it's only worth what someone is willing to pay for it, except you don't have anything tangible, just a promise.

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Paula Dean's avatar

Since we ended the Gold Standard, cash has only the value we assign to it. It's basically a promise by the Federal Reserve, and if some economic catastrophe occurred we'd be holding worthless paper. Crypto is even worse. Unless you buy 'stable coin', which is backed by real money, your Crypto is only as valuable as an NFT with a picture of tRump made to look like a superhero.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

And if USD is replaced as the world's reserve currency, um....grab your ankles, everyone.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Try paying for your utilities, medical services, mortgage, or food in crypto. A currency that has to be redeemed into a weakening dollar to be materially worth anything is Monopoly money. Vaporware. Might as well invest in gold sneakers.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Charles,It’s the clumsiest fiat in the world, a long series of ‘passcodes’ is the way in. It produces nothing quarterly reports would just be the stock price and it should go down way down. It’s purely gambling.

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Pam Humphrey's avatar

No and yes.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

It’s like gold bricks except:

• no gold, not even compostable ratfuck like the criminals dealing in it

• the only bricks are the heads of the dumbfucks buying it

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Diane Rose Halstead's avatar

We need to generate a list of nicknames for Steve Dick-off Witkoff. He is causing so much damage to Ukraine, and we need to HURT him BACK.

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Paula Dean's avatar

I submit for your consideration: Shitwit Witcoff.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I submit Steve Fuckoff.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

It used to be Fuckallthewayoff, but they shortened it when his family landed at Ellis Island.

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arne link's avatar

Ooooh, Good one! I think that maybe you won the internet today.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Thanks! But there’s SOOOO much competition here! 😂😂😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

👏👏👏👏👏

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

Steve Jerkoff. Neville Chamberpot.

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Joyce's avatar

Witless.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Well a name that ends in “off” gives us some good possibilities.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

The Fucking Realtor running US foreign policy - Twatkoff

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Susan Niemann's avatar

HA!

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Harold Miller's avatar

The American capitulation to Putin would be laughable if mothers and babies and elderly citizens weren’t being slaughtered on a massive scale in Ukraine.

Last night 60 Minutes profiled the carnage inflicted on a Palm Sunday missile attack on a civilian bus in the Ukrainian city of Sumy.

Putin is a war criminal!

Why is the Trump administration on his side?

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Charles J. Gibson's avatar

Currently, our blazing US Congress is ruled by a bunch of arse-kissing boot-licking Dear Leader cowards. Also, Putin's Peace Plan limits the size of the Ukrainian military, and prohibits Ukraine from becoming a NATO member. Both points clearly allows further rape of Ukraine by Putin. Imagine, if it were the Trump administration handing a similar "peace plan" to Nazi Germany. Europe would be the largest lock-step, Jew-hating, fascist, anti-freedom country in the world.

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george  campbell's avatar

Real people who are not even armed , are dying . Flat out murder ..

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Kim Steeves's avatar

Because the Trump administration is murdering people in fishing boats. Because the Trump administration are murdering immigrants who are being deported or disappeared.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Why is Trump on Vlad’s side?

Trump is stupid selfish self involved knowledge less of anything empty of any human compassion damaged in need of mental health and help ..,,, get the picture?

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Because agent orange et al are also war criminals🤬

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Money and kompromat.

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eliza james's avatar

Also still waiting on a "list of potential ideas" for healthcare from these fucking idiots.

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Joyce's avatar

Two weeks! It'll be right there! Comin' up!

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Vance—soulless couch-fucking huckster—is deep in the Putin-loving cabal. Rubio is merely soulless.

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Tess's avatar

I have no words…dumbfucks in charge…disgusting.

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Susie's avatar

I think you found the perfect word: disgusting. 🤢

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Diane Rose Halstead's avatar

Isn’t it really a 29-Point Peace Plan?

Point 29: “Release the Full Epstein Files!”

That would solve all conflicts.

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Keith's avatar
2hEdited

isn't the FBI scrubbing donnie johnboy's name FROM the epstein files?

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arne link's avatar

Workin' day and night scrubbing those files. There will be nothing left if anything is ever released.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

1000 Feebies have been hard at it for months now. Those pages are all going to be white as snow from all the scrubbing.

No Donnie anywhere.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Diane, very good way to slide in your point #29 it is.

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Fred's avatar

It’s just CHAOS with only the future of the world at stake. What a bunch of blithering idiots. And the MSM just reports this crap and doesn’t call it out as a plan that sells out Ukraine.

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Diane Rose Halstead's avatar

Anne Applebaum had an excellent article in the Atlantic about exactly that. She knows the deal. She excoriated Rubio, Witkoff, Trump, Kushner, all of them.

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Michael Guenon's avatar

Occam’s Razor: Follow the money.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Morons.

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Diane Rose Halstead's avatar

Rubio is just a limp dick. But sending Witkoff in over and over again to make things worse is like a domestic abuse situation. It’s spiraling. But I keep fantasizing about Witkoff getting struck by a Ukrainian drone…

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Jan Moon's avatar

Limp Dick. And Trump is a Lame Duck. First cousins. Hahahahaha.

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Part of me is sitting back saying: heh heh, natural kerfuffle of a bunch of incompetent, insecure and immature so-called "men" effing up politics, but the other half of me is just sick at how low the US of A has gone. I can't begin to imagine how we will survive this though I will not lose my hope and optimism (at its lowest level) that we will...

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Paula Dean's avatar

It's a conundrum. We love to see this administration embarrass themselves on a global scale, but we hate the real world damage that results. We can only hope they finally make one humiliating mistake too many and get themselves arrested for treason.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

As shown by MTG's quick resignation in January, the Republicans may be priming themselves for a transition via the 25th Amendment (while desperately hoping Trump goes comatose first). Maybe a final ketchup bottle hitting Mike Lil Johnson upside the head would make him enough of an angry little bitch to agree to dump Trump.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

I'd been hoping for a 25th amendment solution myself, Sharon, but then I was informed that removal on that basis involves both the approval of most of the Cabinet AND a two-thirds "yea" vote of both Houses. IOW, harder to achieve than an impeachment conviction.

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Runfastandwin's avatar

at this point I am oscillating between it’s probably good and it’s terrifying that the government is run by morons.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

the answer is 'both'

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

I think the Wheel of Moron needs about one thousand names but dopey gets ten slots (I know your thinking sluts) but that’s the past now it’s just Loomer as a door prize for participation, she belongs on the wheel definitely.

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Patricia Harmanci's avatar

So far Zelenskyy has played it cool against the so-called U.S. Peace Plan. I’m sure he wants to scream “What the fuck!”.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

But Ukraine about 2nights ago used US provided ATACAMS (sp) and massacred a power plant near Moscow so it gets more complicated.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Paul, I’m hoping that European countries will provide Ukraine with enough military support to make the US irrelevant. I get whiplash trying to keep track of agent orange and his so-called negotiators’ position on the war🧐

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Patricia Harmanci's avatar

Yes. It’s never back/white, it seems. Thank you for t hi s bit of news.

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