holy shit, Mark Meadows has been ratting out Trump to Jack Smith

plus: Jenna cries, Cohen testifies, and Ivanka tries

Oct 25, 2023

it seems that Mark Meadows — that poster boy for the entitled male dipshit — has been spilling his guts to The Guy Who Convicts War Criminals In The Hague.

Former President Donald Trump's final chief of staff in the White House, Mark Meadows, has spoken with special counsel Jack Smith's team at least three times this year, including once before a federal grand jury, which came only after Smith granted Meadows immunity to testify under oath, according to sources familiar with the matter.

Marky Meds, you’ll recall, was one of the chief shit-stirrers in the whole Help Help My Election Was Stolen conspiracy, telling anyone who would listen all about how eLeCtIoN fRaUd wAs RaMpAnT and he had proof and it was all going to come out and that Donald Trump would be ~~restored to the throne~~ back in the White House.

he wrote a whole fucking book about it.

well, it looks like Meadows is singing an entirely different tune to the grand jury.

Jack Smith was all “so tell me about what it says in this book of yours” and Meadows was like “hey bro, what book? I told Trump like a million times that there was no election fraud. I said right to his face, man. literally one million times. if Trump thought the election was stolen, he sure didn’t get it from me.”

The sources said Meadows informed Smith's team that he repeatedly told Trump in the weeks after the 2020 presidential election that the allegations of significant voting fraud coming to them were baseless, a striking break from Trump's prolific rhetoric regarding the election.

weird how these dudes’ stories always change once they’re under oath.

no word on whether or not Meadows had to duck to avoid a ketchup bottle to the face after giving Trump the bad news.

one note: you’re hearing a lot of talk about how Meadows “flipped” (I even used the f-word in a comment under yesterday’s thing), but right now we don’t really know the extent of the immunity deal that Meadows was given. it might be total, or it might be limited to whatever criming Meadows confessed to during his grand jury testimony. right now, he remains an unindicted co-conspirator in Jack Smith’s case against Trump.

and he remains unflipped and in a shit-ton of trouble in Georgia.

unlike Mark’s co-cons in all this election fuckery, he has been very quiet about his comings and goings, so we can only speculate.

speaking of which, you know who can’t keep his stupid mouth shut, ever? take one guess:

hey Jack Smith, is this witness tampering? asking for 81 million friends.

a whole lot of other shit went down yesterday. here’s some of what happened.

Michael Cohen finally testified in Donald Trump’s Big Fraud Fuckery Trial.

Michael Cohen, Donald Trump's former lawyer and longtime “fixer,” confronted his ex-boss face-to-face for the first time in five years on Tuesday, when he testified that the former president personally authorized the fraudulent inflation of his net worth and property valuations.

that’s right, Donald Trump made a special trip all the way to New York so that he could glower and pout at Cohen.

here’s the big takeaway from Cohen’s testimony:

Cohen alleged that he and the company's former chief financial officer “reverse engineered” Trump’s financial statements to meet valuations that Trump “arbitrarily selected.”

got that? Little Donny Fuckface would pull a number out of his ass, and then Cohen and the accountants would cook the books to make everything add up the way Trump wanted them to.

pro tip: fraud doesn’t get more fraudulent than that.

in pleading guilty as fuck yesterday, Jenna Ellis got a harsher deal than either the Cheese or the Kracken.

BREAKING: Ellis plea is a BIG deal. What is NEW, and NOT in Powell/Chesebro pleas, is a full cooperation requirement: obligation to meet with DA for interviews and to provide further statements, as well as of course to testify at hearings/trials.

which is exactly the way it works: the first folks to flip get the best deals. Ellis is flipper number four, and whatever subsequent deals are reached with the remaining Big Georgia Election Fuckery co-conspirators will be harsher than the one Jenna got.

oh, and this tweet aged very poorly:

Ivanka Trump really, really, really doesn’t want to testify at her father’s trial.

Ivanka Trump is fighting to not testify in the ongoing civil trial accusing her father, former President Donald Trump, and the Trump Organization of fraud, asking the court late Thursday night to throw out the New York Attorney General’s subpoena for her to take the stand after she was previously dismissed from the case.

Ivanka has a novel argument:

Daddy says I’m his favorite and so I shouldn’t have to testify.

Letitia James is having none of it.

James’ team evidently issued already three subpoenas naming corporate entities tied to the former president’s daughter, and late last week, they indicated intentions to file a court motion to compel Ivanka’s appearance. Seeking to secure a judicial demand for Ivanka’s evident compliance with the subpoenas is in contrast to the other option of pushing for her to be held in contempt, with potentially serious consequences to follow, in the event of her refusing to show up.

and we have a new House Speaker-Designate! oh wait, no we don’t — oh wait, yes we do!

yesterday morning, House Republicans named Tom Emmer to be their Speaker-Designate.

Republicans have chosen Tom Emmer as their third nominee to be Speaker of the House of Representatives, three weeks after their last leader was ousted in a right-wing revolt.

you’ll never fucking guess what happened next: two hours later, he was dumped on his ass.

Majority Whip Tom Emmer, R-Minn., has dropped out of the race for speaker hours after being named House Republicans’ nominee, three sources tell Fox News Digital.

in case you’re wondering, two hours is 0.00757 of a Scaramucci.

Little Donny Fuckface is claiming credit for the kill.

Just hours after Rep. Tom Emmer (R-Minn.) won the Republican Conference’s nomination to be House speaker on Tuesday, former President Donald Trump took to Truth Social to deride the congressman as “totally out-of-touch with Republican Voters” and a “Globalist RINO.”
He then got on the phone with members to express his aversion for Emmer and his bid for speaker.
By Tuesday afternoon Trump called one person close to him with the message, “He’s done. It’s over. I killed him.”

Emmer had earned Trump’s emnity after committing the unforgivable sin of insufficient ass-kissing and election-denying.

and then around 10pm last night, news came down of a new soon-to-be-failed Speaker-Designate.

G.O.P. Nominates Mike Johnson for Speaker After Spurning Emmer
The selection of the ultraconservative and low-profile Louisianian capped a topsy-turvy day and gave Republicans hope of ending the weekslong deadlock that has paralyzed the House.

as I write this, a full floor vote is scheduled for noon today — and I hope you’re sitting down, because I have some very shocking news for you: