good fucking riddance to Greg Fucking Bovino

someone had to take the fall

the Itsy-Bitsy Nazi climbed up the water spout,
down came the rain and washed the Nazi out,
out came the sun and dried up all the rain,
and the Itsy-Bitsy Nazi got his fascist ass reassigned to who even cares, he’s too fucking radioactive to be allowed to fuck shit up in Minneapolis any more.

folks, here’s a feel-good story we can all get behind: Obergruppenführer Greg Bovino — everyone’s favorite bite-sized homunculus — is being sent to a big farm upstate where he’ll have lots of room to run around and pepper spray all the other dogs.

pour one out for the Obergruppenführer, he’s going though some things right now. he’s being demoted, relieved of his duties in Minneapolis, sent back to his home district of El Centro, CA — and, according to some reports, will be retiring soon.

now let’s add some insult to that injury. since the Donnyverse is made up entirely of spiteful children, Gestapo Greg has also been locked out of his account at Elon’s Nazi Bar and Child Porn Emporium.

“Wow. Per @priscialva, DHS has suspended Gregory Bovino’s access to his social media accounts effective immediately. He spent yesterday responding to people who were criticizing him and raising questions about his unverified claims about Pretti.”

yeah, that’ll teach Greg not to meddle with the primal forces of nature.

why is this all happening? because Dear Leader needs a fall guy, that’s why.

Preznit Fuckwit is losing bigly in Minneapolis. he’s completely shit the bed. it turns out that — aside from the brain-dead cultists — no American is down with masked and armed thugs invading American cities and summarily executing anyone who looks at them funny.

no one could have predicted deadly fascism would be unpopular, am I right?

for fuck’s sake, even Texas Governor Greg Abbott is now saying Donny’s gone too far.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott (R) on Monday expressed his belief that the Trump administration should rethink its approach to immigration enforcement in light of the killing of Alex Pretti.

that’s Greg Fucking Abbott — the sadist who strung razor wire booby traps in the middle of the Rio Grande, to keep migrants from crossing into the US.

people died as a result of that shit.

for those of you keeping score at home, Greg Abbot is totally cool with drowning brown people — but summarily executing white folks? that’s a no-no.

so anyway, Donny knows he’s losing. the dumbfuck never takes one eye off the opinion polls. the thing is, Donny is pathologically incapable of admitting he made a mistake. that’s just not how a Mad King rolls. what he does instead is pretend that shit never happened. and so, he sent his Human Lie Factory out to set the record straight: oh no, Dear Leader has always been against this fuckery.

reporter: “Secretary Noem said Alex Pretti committed an act of domestic terrorism. Stephen Miller labeled Pretti a domestic terrorist. does the president agree with that?”

Karoline Leavitt: “look, as I have said, I have not heard the president characterize Mr. Pretti in that way.”

oh please, Karoline, bull fucking shit.

here we have some actual footage of Karoline Leavitt not hearing what Dear Leader said.

there you have it folks. someone must take the blame. but who? I know! how about that little Nazi-looking guy? everybody already hates him.

and so Gestapo Greg goes fuckity-bye.

that’ll teach you to make Dear Leader look bad.

bye-bye, Greg. you’re getting run out of Minneapolis the same way you got run out of that Target store where you tried to take a leak.

let’s be crystal clear about one thing: Gestapo Greg is getting off way too easy. there is no justice being served by quietly shipping him back home and letting him retire.

Bovino has been a lawless piece of shit from the get-go. he’s torn up the Constitution, trampled all over human rights, and lied to judges about it.

in any fair world, he’d be arrested, tried for his crimes, and chucked the fuck into some dark prison.

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oh, look who’s being sent in to replace Gestapo Greg. it’s Donny’s own personal Fred Flintstone, ‘border czar’ Little Tommy Bags ‘o Cash.

“I am sending Tom Homan to Minnesota tonight. He has not been involved in that area, but knows and likes many of the people there. Tom is tough but fair, and will report directly to me.”

this is what happens when everyone in your administration totally fucking sucks. the Pocket Nazi is out, but there’s no one decent to replace him with. so you have no choice but to pick the corrupt dipshit who literally accepted a shopping bag with fifty thousand dollars in it from undercover cops who were running a sting operation.

replacing Bovino with Homan is like rearranging the deck chairs on the most fucked-up version of the Titanic ever. he’s every bit as racist, every bit as lawless, every bit as immoral as his predecessor. he’s possibly less violent than Gestapo Greg. thank God for small favors, am I right?

oh, and because we live in dumbfuckiest possible timeline, it seems that Donny got the idea to assign Homan to Minneapolis from the chattering pinheads on Fox&Friends.

oh for fuck’s sake. how embarrassing is it that Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants is taking his cues from a third-rate morning chat show?

by the way, here’s an idea how we can get Tom Homan to leave Minnesota, if we need to: leave a bag with fifty grand in it just across the border in Wisconsin.

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meanwhile, Donny continues to waddle around with his hair on fire, doing what passes for damage control in the Donnyverse.

he’s claimed to have had phone calls with both Uncle Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, and that ‘lots of progress is being made.’

and you know that Donny isn’t fibbing about any of this, because he THANKED US FOR OUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

and then there’s this: a late-night emergency Oval Bordello meeting with the puppy perforator and her extramarital don’t-call-him-her-boyfriend.

President Trump met Monday evening in the Oval Office with Kristi Noem, the homeland security secretary, and Corey Lewandowski, her top aide, for nearly two hours, as his administration tries to shift its strategy after federal agents killed a second Minneapolis resident over the weekend, according to two people briefed on the meeting.

Jesus, two fucking hours. I imagine that Presidential Butler Walt Nauta kept having to come in with fresh bottles of ketchup for Agolf Shitler to throw.

it’s a good thing that Gestapo Greg is so tiny — there’s going to be lots of room left under that bus in case Donny tosses ICE Barbie and Corey L under there as well.

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here are your heroes of the day: everyone across America who protested this shit.

the occupation of Minneapolis was never about immigration. it was about a fragile, insecure Mad King hell-bent on proving he was an all-powerful dictator who could do whatever he wanted to, and that no one could stop him — and Americans coast to coast were all ‘yeah, no, go fuck yourself.’

here’s Rachel Maddow to lay it all out.

“clearly, President Trump and the Trump administration are in retreat on what had been a violent occupation, I think it’s fair to say, of a major American city. they essentially hoped to be the front page news headline that everybody remembered, about the Trump administration at this time, at the start of Trump’s second year in his second term in office. they went big with this on their own terms. nobody asked for this, nobody put them up to it. they decided to launch this in order to show off what they could do. and now, they are in full retreat, with it being viewed both as a practical debacle and a moral debacle, and they are paying a considerable political price for it. if you were one of the millions of Americans who protested ICE out of Minneapolis, you should know, tonight you are winning this thing — and it is worth understanding the power of what you have done.”

this is how it’s done, folks. stay angry. stay focused. stay engaged.

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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