136 Comments

I’ve avoided all news and social media this morning, as I’ve avidly been looking forward to your newsletter, Jeff. You never disappoint.

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He’s gonna try to look tough. And his fans will get orgasmic. I hope he’s crapping his Depend undergarments at the moment the shutter clicks.

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They don't appear ... happy ... except Ellis who appear delusional.

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Beautiful! You'll run out of hyphens when trying to describe the orange one. 😂 And, the Kracken Lady looks like someone's Aunt with too many cats. Finally, I spit coffee all over the table with "district-attorney-speak for “go fuck yourself and get your ass to Atlanta.” Today is the mug shot we've all been waiting for! 👏👏👏👏👏👏

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She smiled.

I know they are all psychopaths, but that really takes the giddy biscuit.

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"“As inconvenient as modern air travel can admittedly be"...Hahahahaha! What I want to see is "As inconvenient as correctional facility lodging can admittedly be...".

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"Hey, America! Remember 2016 when we were all like, 'Who left the back door open for Putin?' Well, apparently, some folks decided to host a slumber party with ol' Vlad. And let me tell you, those friendship bracelets? Indictments. Fast forward to 2020, and guess who tried to sneak into the election cookie jar AGAIN? The same bedtime buddies! And today, I woke up to the most heartwarming foursome of mug shots. It's like the unholy foursome of 'Oops, we did it again.' Kids, Christmas came early, and Santa brought handcuffs. 🎅🔗"

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"...a fundamental misunderstanding of criminal procedure..."

Could there be anything more insulting to an attorney? Just asking, in case there are any lawyers here.

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It’s a GREAT day for Donald’s grandkids.. after today they can invite their friends over to see both grandpas mug shots on the walls of their bedroom. I mean, only in America can this happen, is this a great country or what?

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Make him remove that thing on his head for his mugshot.. technically he should anyway.. and let’s see how many tshirts he wants to sell with that photo on them.

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Prominent supporters of the

“laws don’t apply to Donald” crowd

(aka Republican presidential candidates)

groveled for a shot at Mike Pence’s old job last night.

Fox did not host a debate.

They hosted an audition for Trump’s next would be Vice President.

Which is strange considering Donny was all-in with the idea of lynching VP Mikey not so long ago.

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I fucking love you, Jeff!

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That Jenna takes a good yearbook picture. Rudy looks like he wants to headbutt the camera.

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This post is pure gold.

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My bet is that he’ll have a shit-eating grin on his face in defiance. What a Maroon!

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Immortal American sayings: 1: “Give me liberty or give me death!” and 2: “go fuck yourself and get your ass to Atlanta.”

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