Beautiful! You'll run out of hyphens when trying to describe the orange one. 😂 And, the Kracken Lady looks like someone's Aunt with too many cats. Finally, I spit coffee all over the table with "district-attorney-speak for “go fuck yourself and get your ass to Atlanta.” Today is the mug shot we've all been waiting for! 👏👏👏👏👏👏
I appreciate Jeff’s unique talent for fishing through the anodyne language of the law and the PR specialists in order to reveal for us the actual meaning of the hard nucleus of bullshit buried deep within the pile. He’s sort of a Michelangelo of translation. I encourage him to publish a thesaurus when crazy times finally come to an end. They will come to an end....right?
Someone else opined that she's going to use it to sell merch to support her legal fees. Not sure who would want her face on them, but hey, it's a free country...until you're in jail!
Strategically speaking, I would think then you’d want to glower, to make it look like a real mugshot, as opposed to something from the Ms Chamber of Commerce Yearbook. But if she has fans, that’s probably the exact look they’d relish.
"“As inconvenient as modern air travel can admittedly be"...Hahahahaha! What I want to see is "As inconvenient as correctional facility lodging can admittedly be...".
"Hey, America! Remember 2016 when we were all like, 'Who left the back door open for Putin?' Well, apparently, some folks decided to host a slumber party with ol' Vlad. And let me tell you, those friendship bracelets? Indictments. Fast forward to 2020, and guess who tried to sneak into the election cookie jar AGAIN? The same bedtime buddies! And today, I woke up to the most heartwarming foursome of mug shots. It's like the unholy foursome of 'Oops, we did it again.' Kids, Christmas came early, and Santa brought handcuffs. 🎅🔗"
It’s a GREAT day for Donald’s grandkids.. after today they can invite their friends over to see both grandpas mug shots on the walls of their bedroom. I mean, only in America can this happen, is this a great country or what?
Make him remove that thing on his head for his mugshot.. technically he should anyway.. and let’s see how many tshirts he wants to sell with that photo on them.
I’m expecting that when they remove that thing and examine it carefully, we may find some extinct species of something nested in that thing. Or, maybe we’ll discover, for the first time, a big dent in the side of his head, where his father taught him a hard lesson with a baseball bat.
I don’t think it’s removable. Ivanka got a big payout for keeping quiet from when he attacked her after he got his hair plugs. Really old story (obviously since it was Ivanka)
Fun fact: If you hold a, say, business card up to Rudy’s mug shot photo and look at both halves of his face, what I see is his right side looks intelligent, interesting even, while his left side looks angry and cruel. What do you see?
Do you think she just got lucky and timed it right, or is it like the photographer at DMV who lets you pick which picture you want on your license, or in this case on your mug shot. Either lucky or too courteous. I figure it’s one of the two.
I thought a little heavy on the makeup. The extra drawn eyebrows and heavy lipstick with that grin made her look like an assclown. Which apparently after joining the Rudy Circus & Lawyer sideshow is just about correct for her performashot combo headshot & mug-shot.
Consequences provide interesting opportunities for portraiture.
I’ve avoided all news and social media this morning, as I’ve avidly been looking forward to your newsletter, Jeff. You never disappoint.
He’s gonna try to look tough. And his fans will get orgasmic. I hope he’s crapping his Depend undergarments at the moment the shutter clicks.
Ralph Nauta is going to have a tough day. Orange Baby will need a few dailer changes.
Diaper. Oops!
Amen.
They don't appear ... happy ... except Ellis who appear delusional.
Kraken lady looks like she's about to go on a killing spree.
haha yep, you couldnt cast a more sinister looking woman for a movie called "Hatchet"
Or "Nurse Ratchet", the sequel.
She was thinking "Hugo Chavez, Hugo Chavez, Hugo Chavez......"
She is probably so programmed to put on a smile when a camera is pointed at her that it was completely second nature. A grown up Honey Boo Boo.
Beautiful! You'll run out of hyphens when trying to describe the orange one. 😂 And, the Kracken Lady looks like someone's Aunt with too many cats. Finally, I spit coffee all over the table with "district-attorney-speak for “go fuck yourself and get your ass to Atlanta.” Today is the mug shot we've all been waiting for! 👏👏👏👏👏👏
I appreciate Jeff’s unique talent for fishing through the anodyne language of the law and the PR specialists in order to reveal for us the actual meaning of the hard nucleus of bullshit buried deep within the pile. He’s sort of a Michelangelo of translation. I encourage him to publish a thesaurus when crazy times finally come to an end. They will come to an end....right?
Come to an end? God, I hope so. Humanity continues to demonstrate a lack of intellect so…. Fingers crossed we wise up! I love Jeff!
Couldn't agree more.
We can't dance on the knifes edge forever. Our democracy is a precious thing.
Wonderful idea! 😂
My fave sub-hyphenated phrase is “daughter-perving”
Right!? Wonder how SHE is taking all this!?
She is as bad as he is IMO.
She smiled.
I know they are all psychopaths, but that really takes the giddy biscuit.
Someone else opined that she's going to use it to sell merch to support her legal fees. Not sure who would want her face on them, but hey, it's a free country...until you're in jail!
Strategically speaking, I would think then you’d want to glower, to make it look like a real mugshot, as opposed to something from the Ms Chamber of Commerce Yearbook. But if she has fans, that’s probably the exact look they’d relish.
Exactly. It's like Opposites Day in the Mugshot Room for her!
"“As inconvenient as modern air travel can admittedly be"...Hahahahaha! What I want to see is "As inconvenient as correctional facility lodging can admittedly be...".
"Hey, America! Remember 2016 when we were all like, 'Who left the back door open for Putin?' Well, apparently, some folks decided to host a slumber party with ol' Vlad. And let me tell you, those friendship bracelets? Indictments. Fast forward to 2020, and guess who tried to sneak into the election cookie jar AGAIN? The same bedtime buddies! And today, I woke up to the most heartwarming foursome of mug shots. It's like the unholy foursome of 'Oops, we did it again.' Kids, Christmas came early, and Santa brought handcuffs. 🎅🔗"
Santa brought handcuffs! (Just shot ice coffee out my nose!) Brilliant!
"...a fundamental misunderstanding of criminal procedure..."
Could there be anything more insulting to an attorney? Just asking, in case there are any lawyers here.
I do love how lawyer-speak in this instance reads like a head-pat.
From would be stand-in AG to a fundamental ignorance of criminal procedure...huh, go figure.
It’s a GREAT day for Donald’s grandkids.. after today they can invite their friends over to see both grandpas mug shots on the walls of their bedroom. I mean, only in America can this happen, is this a great country or what?
If my last name was Trump, I’d be changing it. What a stigma to go through life with that last name. 🙄
ain't that the truth. I would, too.
Not Mary
True.
Worse than Madoff.
Make him remove that thing on his head for his mugshot.. technically he should anyway.. and let’s see how many tshirts he wants to sell with that photo on them.
I’m expecting that when they remove that thing and examine it carefully, we may find some extinct species of something nested in that thing. Or, maybe we’ll discover, for the first time, a big dent in the side of his head, where his father taught him a hard lesson with a baseball bat.
I doubt they will even make him remove it if it’s fake but they should because it’s a disguise.
If it was removable it would be better looking.
Please remove the dead squirrel, sir.
I don’t think it’s removable. Ivanka got a big payout for keeping quiet from when he attacked her after he got his hair plugs. Really old story (obviously since it was Ivanka)
I don’t think it is now either but I hadn’t heard about him attacking her. Interesting.
I fucking love you, Jeff!
I suspect we all do.
That Jenna takes a good yearbook picture. Rudy looks like he wants to headbutt the camera.
Rudy looks like he's pitching off a Barstool
I read this “pinching off a barstool” and I am still LMAO.
Pinching a loaf off a barstool !👃🐽🤣
Fun fact: If you hold a, say, business card up to Rudy’s mug shot photo and look at both halves of his face, what I see is his right side looks intelligent, interesting even, while his left side looks angry and cruel. What do you see?
Do you think she just got lucky and timed it right, or is it like the photographer at DMV who lets you pick which picture you want on your license, or in this case on your mug shot. Either lucky or too courteous. I figure it’s one of the two.
I thought a little heavy on the makeup. The extra drawn eyebrows and heavy lipstick with that grin made her look like an assclown. Which apparently after joining the Rudy Circus & Lawyer sideshow is just about correct for her performashot combo headshot & mug-shot.
Consequences provide interesting opportunities for portraiture.
This post is pure gold.
My bet is that he’ll have a shit-eating grin on his face in defiance. What a Maroon!
Lost my bet, but the real deal is better! Lol! 👿
Immortal American sayings: 1: “Give me liberty or give me death!” and 2: “go fuck yourself and get your ass to Atlanta.”
Oh...I'd LOVE this on a T-Shirt!
He'll have that thing he calls a chin sticking way up in the air.
A Mussolini shot? That didn’t work out well for Il Duce.