yesterday, several delightfully-satisfying pieces fell into place, as many of the people responsible for the 2020 post-election trumpfuckery finally started learning what consequences look like.
you’ll recall how the Arrogant Dipshit Brothers, Mark Meadows and Jeffrey Clark, tried to pull their “yeah sorry, we’re just not into being arrested” act.
Fani “Yours In Service” Willis was having none of it. she wrote,
Defendant Jeffrey Bossert Clark has moved this Court for an Emergency Motion to Stay the pending State court criminal proceedings against him based on an apparent misread of the applicable statutes, a misapprehension of the binding caselaw, and a fundamental misunderstanding of criminal procedure—both state and federal.
misreading and misunderstanding the law — that sounds about right for the oil spill lawyer whom Trump wanted to make his Attorney General.
Willis continued,
The defendant’s Motion demanded a halt to the State Court proceedings to avert the necessity of his ‘rushed travel arrangements to fly into Atlanta’ to present himself for voluntarily surrender by the August 25 deadline in lieu of the service of an arrest warrant, as numerous of his co-defendants have now done.”
“As inconvenient as modern air travel can admittedly be, whatever nuisance involved in the defendant securing a flight to Atlanta within the window provided is self-evidently insufficient justification to invoke this Court’s authority to enjoin a State felony criminal prosecution.”
which is district-attorney-speak for “go fuck yourself and get your ass to Atlanta.”
later in the day came the coup de grace.
you’ll recall that the Arrogant Dipshit Brothers didn’t just whine to Fani Willis about how unfair arresting them was. they also went running to a federal judge and asked him — well, actually they pretty much told him — to make everything in Atlanta go away, and move the cases to federal court, because reasons.
and they learned why you pretty much never tell a judge to do anything.
because he told Meadows and Clark, in no uncertain terms, to “go fuck yourself and get your ass to Atlanta.”
The clear statutory language for removing a criminal prosecution, does not support an injunction or temporary stay prohibiting District Attorney Willis’s enforcement or execution of the arrest warrant.
yesterday was also the day that disgraced no-longer-a-lawyer Rudy Colludy slithered into Atlanta to be processed and get his mug shot taken.
good lord, Rudy really puts the “mug” in mug shot, doesn’t he?
also joining the mug shot party were the Kraken Lady,
Kenny the Cheese Man,
and Jenna “Who Will Pay For My Lawyer?” Ellis,
who seems oddly happy to be there.
naturally, someone is already selling what they claim is the “Official Jenna Ellis Mugshot Shirt,” which is rather cringe.
today, of course, comes the main event.
that quadrice-indicted twice-impeached popular-vote-losing insurrection-leading judge-threatening lawyer-ignoring witness-tampering game-show-hosting serial-sexual-predating draft-dodging casino-bankrupting daughter-perving hush-money-paying real-estate-scamming ketchup-hurling justice-obstructing classified-war-plan-thieving weather-map-defacing paper-towel-flinging tax-cheating evidence-destroying charity-defrauding money-laundering fluorescent tangerine jackass will surrender himself to authorities.
and then of course we’ll finally get the mug shot we’ve all been waiting for.
will Trump frown for his mug shot? will he look aggreived?
my guess is that Trump will give that stupid thumbs-up shit-eating grin of his, and then fundraise the fuck off of it.
stay tuned.
I’ve avoided all news and social media this morning, as I’ve avidly been looking forward to your newsletter, Jeff. You never disappoint.
He’s gonna try to look tough. And his fans will get orgasmic. I hope he’s crapping his Depend undergarments at the moment the shutter clicks.