235 Comments

Boaty McSharkbattery--I am deceased

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That really was magical. Jeff is awesome, even with jet lag.

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I honestly don't get it. Please explain. Maybe I never watched that cartoon

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The speech, if you can call it that, in Nevada about electric boats sinking, batteries exploding and sharks in the water. 🤷‍♀️

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MAGA STUPIDS waited in line and suffered heatstroke for that brilliance by their Orange Conman Grifter Messiah, Felon 45.

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Thx!

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Where Jeff derived his comic take:“Boaty McBoatface is the British lead boat in a fleet of three robotic lithium battery–powered autonomous underwater vehicles of the Autosub Long Range class” IIRC there was a contest on what to name the boat and Boaty McBoatface won.

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I remember now! There was a contest to name the boat, and a kid submitted that name and won the contest.

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If RL prevented you from reading Jeff's Monday (yesterday) post, therein you will find the crazed word salad explaining "Boaty McSharkBattery"

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I read it, but for some reason I decided not to put it in my memory bank.

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I was innocently following your first paragraph until you burst my bubble with the fact that FDFF got to meet with his PO via the magic of Zoom. No fucking way. Yes, fucking way. I’ve moved on now as I savor my newest fantasy of putting him on a little boat, haul him out to international waters, strap a heavy battery to him, then re-board my yacht. I casually motor about 50 feet away and press a button that remotely activates a small explosion on his boat but not blow him up. I rock in my hammock on my yacht, relishing the dream of a new world without the late FDFF. A few bubbles gurgle to the surface. Share my dream on my yacht or your own. Have a happy Tuesday!

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Shark bait!

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And that whack-a-doodle is why he qualifies for the Whitehouse? Geez, how far we have gone downhill.

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See Jeff’s offering from yesterday, where we’re treated to Donald Jessica Trump going completely off his rocker at one of his circle jerks.

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It sounds like you are a fan of Randy Rainbow too. Between Jeff and Randy, I’m still relatively sane. They both make me laugh, and all of us need a good laugh these days.

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Absolutely! Randy Rainbow saved my sanity during the worst of Covid.

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Randy is brilliant. His Palm springs show sold out in 30 seconds. I couldn't get tickets. Sad.

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To quote from one of his videos: Randy Rainbow for President!

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Donald Jessica Trump 🤣

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It’s a play on Boaty McBoatface…https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boaty_McBoatface

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look up Boaty McBoatface

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Destined to become a classic boat name. Somebody somewhere is going to re-name their boat. World famous. Thank you Jeff for blessing us with your daily words!

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🤣😂

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Just saw that Hunter Biden is guilty on three counts. It’s a good thing he’s not running for president

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author

I hate it when new shit happens while I'm still writing about yesterday's shit

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Well now you have a whole day to think about how to cover all the complaints by the Democrats about the rigged justice system and their violent threats against the judge, the jurors, the DA and court personnel. Oh wait… never mind.

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Yeah, about that....

If Hunter Biden gets so much as one day's prison time, we need to RUB Trump's face in it along with the entire Republican Teabagger Trump Party!

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Darn that Old Joe, weaponizing the justice system, like some kinda justice system weaponizer! Getting his son scot-free!

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I say, I say, I say, fuckity fuck.

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Life is just one pile of 💩 on top of the other.

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In the words of the great Alvin Dark, “life’s a shit sandwich and every day you get another bite” (sorry - it’s just genius albeit gross)

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Good quote, Patris. He said that when he was managing the Indians. And that was a shit buffet at the time.

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Ha! Yes - baseball - made to damn us to hell or take us to heaven. (It also keeps me sane these days tbh).

I came across the quote when I read Ball Four I think. Struck me as relevant as Anything I’d read in philosophy class..

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Baseball is full of dugout philosophers. That's why it's the beautiful game.

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And the Econ 101 rule " the more bread you got the less shit you have to take".

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Or a giant turd sandwich and everyone takes a bite.

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they r afraid he wil start a civil war of som kind tht they cant control// n he wil try n theyr terrified. yes daddy yes daddy yes daddy; wateveryou say

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The Republicans in Congress are not afraid of Trump, he is an impotent slug. It’s the powerful machine behind him, for example the Federalist Society and every rich bastard that has the money to ruin them. They all slip along on the slime that slug leaves behind.

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Not to mention Trump's loyal zombie base.

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And the Supreme Court majority.

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Feeling deflated but my optimistic side is not completely out of hope, yet.

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“It’s a long road without any turning.” Lordy, we been through some 80% bitter chocolate. That fuckin Nixon, and that fuckin Reagan and that fuckin W, and now Trump again. All courtesy of the Electoral College, the skeleton hand of the slavemasters which has got us by the agates. Maybe this is the end of the line…I mean that in a good way. By the way, a happy birthday to that deranged orange shitbird who is turning 78, I believe, on Friday. One year closer to his inevitable meeting with his master down below.

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You got jet lag, it happens

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These assholes keep pounding away even when we're asleep.

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There's too much shit happening to keep current, so don't beat yourself up about it.

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You'll manage. You are strong, Jeff. Strong!

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It’s impossible to keep up with all the existential threats.

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Whole lot of shit going on

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All this bullshit is happening so fast Jeff that only a "Super Human" could keep up!

You do better than most!

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And unlike special boy Donnie, it sounds like Hunter accepted his conviction like a man.

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I pray Hunter stays healthy and safe…..one day at a time.

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Well there ya go, something more for the Repugs to whine about how unfair the "rigged" "weaponized" Democratic justice system is to,

um,

wait a minute.

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" internationally-acclaimed nautical electrocution expert" 😂😂😂 This Alito thing is off the rails...where is Dick Durbin? The Dems need to pounce on this and right fucking now. And thanks for reminding us about Kalief Browder. Whatta tragedy. That Diaperload gets this kind of special treatment is infuriating. He really needs to see some jail time. Asswipe. 🙄

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Jun 11·edited Jun 11

We're witnessing the endless cesspool of entitlements for the biggest crooks at the top and as always, the little ones at the bottom get fucked. Sen. Durbin as well as the Dems in the House need to investigate the inability to be impartial and all the rest of the bullshit shenanigans Alito continues to get away with. In the meantime, the shark-fearing demented crime boss needs to start pissing in a cup and be subjected to the same rules of someone who was convicted of 34 felonies.

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Durbin is compromised....why is HE the Chairman instead of Whitehouse?? It's suspicious 🤔.

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Because they choose Chairpersons by longevity in the Senate and House.

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I agree, just the violations of the gag order should prove to the judge that incarceration is necessary to punish him for his lack of any kind of remorse.

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If Hunter gets incarcerated and the Shitgibbon doesn't, there should be Hell to pay!

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Dick (appropriate name) Durbin has flat out shrugged this off since the story broke. The news is all about the non-event of the Zoom probation meeting for OT and Hunter’s trial.

Dems get gifts handed to them at least once a day…. And refuse to see or act on them

Why did “they” snub Haley voters? Why does his clown car of “strategists” not confer with the really smart proven campaign gurus like Axelrod and the rest of Team Obama? I see a continually inept team the misses massive messaging opportunities.

We all keep wondering WHEN is Team Biden gonna get smart and aggressive. Feed the voters evidence and specifics about what Trump is trumpeting what he will do as of Jan ‘25….. just saying “ we represent democracy” is not granular and requires (inattentive) voters to figure out what that means.

This is Communicatons 101. They still haven’t gotten to this basic level of competency

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Meryl The damn right wing owns virtually every single media conglomerate. Have you not yet figured out why there isn’t any messaging from Democrats! How the hell do they do that when we get saturated with news from Right-Wing Billionaire owned airwaves. This monopolization should have been recognized long ago. It's a perfect tool for the Fascists and it makes everything more difficult for the left-the majority in this country.!

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Sinclair Broadcasting

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True....'Democracy' isn't a concept many comprehend & they must be educated on SPECIFICALLY what would happen to their 'rights' if MAGA steals power.

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Durbin? He's hiding like the Chickenshit Clinton NeoLiberal he is.

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Don’t forget about the Central Park 5. The cheeto benito took out a full page ad to excoriate the 5 and demanded their extra judicial killings BEFORE they were wrongfully convicted. Two tier justice system. Justice for me, but not for thee.

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Never going back to California? Because of airline issues?

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Well I wouldn't. Since my last flight to Orlando in the Summer of 2001, two months before the ISI/Bin Laden "planes operation", haven't set foot inside an airplane.

I was a Lockheed consultant to TSA after the attack.

My point? Flying isn't fun anymore. They have "issues" allright.

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Joni Mitchell went back because she had an "aching in her hear.t"

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Way to go, Susan…I love that word “asswipe.” Along with that goes “Butthook.”

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To Susan Niemann…I love the word “Asswipe.! It’s one of my favorites. It goes so well with another favorite…Butthook!

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It’s an accurate noun in this case. 😂

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It helps that Jeff never has to make this stuff up— they are just this dumb. The following is from the Bulwark, but behind a paywall.

https://www.thebulwark.com/p/the-people-who-bought-stock-in-trumps

Jason Leopold filed a FOIA to get SEC complaints about DJT (Truth Social stock). People were complaining that dark, shadowy forces were preventing DJT’s stock price from going even higher.

Here’s one such complaint: This Very Fine Person looked at DJT and thought its P/E ratio should be higher. Why wasn’t it higher? “Manipulation,” “price suppression,” and “illegal naked shorting.” This individual asked the SEC to ban short-selling of DJT. And also “dark pools.”

And “If something isn’t done soon, I will be filing numerous lawsuits.”

Spoiler: He or she will not file any lawsuits.

Another complaint came from a DJT stockholder who was convinced that he/she was going to be a multimillionaire until the dark forces of Charles Schwab screwed him/her.

This person claims that on March 26, 2024, he/she noticed that DJT’s stock price had shot up to $15,994 per share. He/she immediately tried to sell their stock using the Charles Schwab trading platform, thinking that they were about to be worth $5.2 million. But when the trade went through, he/she only got $68 per share. Which is why they wrote to the SEC demanding their $5.2 million.

Here’s Leopold with the explanation:

A spokesperson for Charles Schwab explained to FOIA Files what happened.

“On March 26, Nasdaq implemented a symbol change of the SPAC ticker DWAC to DJT,” the spokesperson said, referring to Digital World Acquisition Corp., the blank check company formed to merge with Trump Media & Technology Group. “A few of Schwab's platforms displayed a quote for $DJT (Dow Jones Transport Index) rather than the DJT. This issue only impacted quoting and not trading. Schwab promptly fixed the issue that same morning, and all client orders were filled at the correct price, which that day ranged from $57.25 to an all-time high of $79.38,” the spokesperson said.

In sum: A Trump-loving DJT owner saw the price—which had been in the range of $65—jump to $15,994 a share. And instead of thinking, “Hmmm, this looks like a glitch. That share price doesn’t make any sense.” They thought “Well shit, Lurleen, we rich!”

Just so we understand one another: If DJT traded at $15,994 a share, then the company would have a market capitalization of $3 trillion. Only six countries in the world have an annual GDP above $3 trillion.

Anyway, when it turned out that this citizen didn’t get rich, his/her answer was to write the SEC and ask them to remedy the situation in which they believed they were “cheated” out of $5.2 million.

The fact that our economic system makes it possible for someone with such limited cognitive abilities to earn so much money that they are able to dabble in retail stock trading is either a chastening sign of decadence or the best argument I’ve ever seen for the blessings of the free market.

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They thought “Well shit, Lurleen, we rich!”

Best quote I’ve seen this morning Kathleen!

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Penned by Jonathan V Last.

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My father died of Alzheimer’s at age 91 last November and on the day he died he still made more sense than the former Cheeto.

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Justice in America is not, and never was blind. Put that orange boil where he belongs, in solitary confinement at Rikers. Drop Alito in the middle of the most crime ridden city in America and we’ll see how well he pulls off his cocky, punk attitude.

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Alito just makes my skin crawl. And throwing his wife under the bus? “Well, you know how it is, guys, amirite? The little lady has the run of the house, and as long as she brings me my steak medium rare and my scotch with the big ball of ice and remembers to bring the lube, I just let her do whatever else she wants.”

Fucking pig.

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He is a fucking pig, tho to be fair, his wife does seem like a nasty piece of work. What she said on that recording is both vile and fucking insane. 100% understand why their neighbor called her a c*nt.

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And what is the reason for her anger? Hunger? Unfair persecution? Cannot afford to buy a home? Can’t get decent medical care? Prescriptions too expensive? Social bias? Fear of losing our democracy? Really, she is a nasty woman, what the hell fuels her anger? Oh wait, she is married to Sam Alito.

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Jun 12·edited Jun 12

She's of German heritage--she must be mad about WWII!

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He claims he has no say as to whether his wife puts up a racist flag but he wants to control what every other American woman does with her own body.

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“Orange boil”!!! You rock!

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Jebus and his AK to the rescue.

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Steal poppin Sammy and Cruella Devile a matrimonial match in fundamentalist hell. They've both perfected the maga scowl for photographs. Fuckity fuck right the fuck off now.

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"The game is rigged, people." --George Carlin.

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I'm convinced, At this time we are witnessing a unprecedented attack on societal norms for the masses.

Uncertainty in months to come.

Once you've read enough to get the gist of it, you know that you don't want to be losing all your energy over it. You do your duty as a citizen and exercise your right to vote, in every election.

Learn to carry on with your life.

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It helps to remind ourselves to not be stressed-out victims of these evil assholes.

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Antonia, you and I are singing from the same songbook......

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If Merchan doesn't give him ANY jail time there is no hope for our justice system which just sucks if you aren't rich or powerful.

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I'm hoping Merchan asks him point-blank in the sentencing if he has any remorse for his crimes. Either he says "It's a sham trial" and Merchan has just cause for the harshest penalty under the law or he admits that he's known all along that he's guilty of the crime.

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Trump show remorse? He never heard that word.

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Agreed, but wouldn't it be precious to have him just get body slammed with a sentence because he is incapable of feeling anything but selfishness.

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All I ask is for a court-ordered psychiatric evaluation.

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If they did that, would results be public record?

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We already know what that would reveal: batshit crazy

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Sends a big “atttaboy” to Dear Leader and MAGA cultists.

An irrelevant sentence from Judge Merchan + flagrantly political and unethical behavior by Alito and Thomas = the collapse of faith in this leg of 3-legged stool in which our democracy stands.

Trump as president = putrefied Executive Branch

Republicans in Congress: intransigent and openly treasonous = collapse of Legistlative Branch

Rapid and blatant behavior of SCOTUS = no independent, ethical Judiciary

What are we left with?

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We can look forward to an upcoming election where those of us not killed by Trump's terrible response to Covid HAVE TO outnumber the MAGAts. Would love to see a lot of blue in that map.

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Again von trump seen and treated like a very special thing. Not acceptable. Lock him up pdq. Shameful

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How Trump is being treated is why he continues to crime. Alito’s statement about one side or the other winning is correct..we need to vote to show him which side.

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That’s what I was thinking too. And there will be NO compromise! Separation of church and state! There’s no God(s) in government! Strange orange men with piss yellow cotton candy hair declaring themselves king dictator Jesus is no basis for a system of government!

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It's the one thing that the Communists got right.

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Yep. And the Mexicans, too.

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Last night, when I listened to the recordings the Alitos spewing their Christofascist bull shit, I literally said out loud to myself. “Lordy, there are tapes. Uncle Jeff, you’re my spirit animal.

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Do any of these people ever ask the question, why is homosexuality in opposition to godliness? I know of many churches and many ministers who don't think godliness is withheld from people who love the "wrong" other people.

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When I was a child there was a woman in my neighborhood who had a deformed hand. A neighbor child asked her what happened to her hand and she said “Nothing happened to it … that’s just the way God made it.” We’re all different, and that’s just the way God wanted it, apparently. So if God doesn’t have a problem with His LGBTQ children, neither should we.

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Except exactly nothing will happen. Zero

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It never does.

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The forces that put Alito’s ponderous butt on that court are really hoping we’ll all be defeatist.

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1. Sam the Sham and Matty Magadelyn need to go to confession to be absolved of their sins. Not that it will actually help. They’ll just go back jack and do it again.

2. The Kalief Browder case was a shameful miscarriage of justice. If only the same would happen to Trump: don’t the MAGAs believe in an eye for an eye?

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MAGA does not at all believe in an eye for an eye. They believe in gouging out all eyes of all people not showing blind faith in Dear Leader.

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Love those nicknames!

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What a world. What a fucking world. 💔

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Sums it up nicely. It's always been what a world, but now it's not even the same one anymore.

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While “Boaty McSharkbattery” had me choking on my breakfast 🤣, everything else here is infuriating! I am SO FUCKING SICK OF HIM - and the far-from-supreme Christofascist Alitos. And every other noxious MAGA person, in government and in the trailer park.

This has to end! VOTE BLUE!

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I’m right there with you Connie.. I’m fucking furious!

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Disgusting Little DonnyFFand disgusting Little SammyFF and Little MarthaFF ——thought you had to be smart to be president or a judge? Apparently not-and Little MarthaFF=bitch. Absolutely disgraceful!!

Hopefully Hunter Biden will not get jail time. Keep up the great work Jeff-now go outside and RELAX!!!

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