what lies have Preznit Fuckwit’s handlers been telling him about Renee Good?

this is how they keep Donny stupid and happy

tell me, is it a bad thing when the leader of your country is a demented old shit-for-brains whose flunkies feed him a steady diet of disinformation in order to manipulate him into doing their bidding — and also to keep him dumb and complacent?

it’s a legit question to ask, because it sure as fuck seems like that’s what’s going on right now in the Oval Bordello.

the New York Times actually committed a splendid bit of journalism yesterday.

as you know, Donny’s been blithering nonstop about how he’s actually seen video of Renee Good — the Minneapolis mom murdered by masked ICE thugs — running over and hospitalizing the goon who shot her three times in the face.

Donny’s claim, of course, complete fever-swamp hallucinatory bullshit. it’s a thing that never happened the most. the video clearly shows Good turning the wheel of her car away from the trigger-happy ICE thug.

nonetheless, here’s what Donny told the reporters from the Times:

“She behaved horribly,” Mr. Trump said. “And then she ran him over. She didn’t try to run him over. She ran him over.”

what the Times did in response was to sit Donny down and make him watch that video again — in their presence — and they were all ‘come on, bro — show us on the doll where Renee Good drove over the ICE goon.’

Mr. Trump’s aide Natalie Harp brought a laptop over to the Resolute Desk to show us what he said would be evidence of the woman’s wrongdoing.

As a slow-motion surveillance video of the shooting played on the laptop, we told him that this angle did not appear to show that an ICE officer had been run over.

now let’s go live to an MRI of Donny’s brain as he re-watched that video.

all Donny could do was sputter incoherently.

“Well,” Mr. Trump said. “I — the way I look at it … ”

could the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press please do this more often — force Donny to account for his own lies? we might actually stop calling you worthless scribblers if you do.

but let’s back the fuck up there a minute. who was it who brought the laptop to the Resolute Desk and played the video?

Natalie Harp?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

that’s — um, how diplomatically can I put this? — interesting.

I’d forgotten all about Natalie Harp, and I’ll bet you had, too. there are just too many weirdos and found objects orbiting the Donnyverse, and it’s damn near impossible to keep them all in your mind. so let’s do a quick refresher.

back in April 2024, when Donny was on trial, reporters noticed a woman — carrying a portable printer — who was following Donny around.

that, my friends, was our first introduction to Natalie Harp.

Her name is Natalie Harp, a former One America News anchor who joined Trump’s communications team in March 2022. According to reporting that year by the Washington Post, Harp would even accompany the former reality TV host on golf trips in a cart “equipped with a laptop and sometimes a printer to show him uplifting news articles, online posts, or other materials.”

so, that’s a perfectly normal thing, right? seriously, how fucking broken-inside do you have to be to require that kind of nonstop positive affirmation? this big, strong woman, tears in her eyes, actually travels with Donny while he’s cheating at golf, and goes ‘sir! sir! look at the nice thing catturd said about you on twitter! sir!’

---

now let’s skip ahead six months, to November, 2024. Dear Leader is now preznit-elect. Natalie’s still part of his inner circle, and is headed to the White House — and she’s filling Donny’s rapidly-dementing ear with so much conspiratorial nonsense that even his Confederacy of Sewer Clowns is concerned about the unfettered access she has.

But Ms. Harp also established herself at the center of a fast-moving carousel of text messages, articles and tidbits directed at Mr. Trump. This has generated concern among other aides who feel she has been far too willing to serve as a funnel for conspiratorial information at a moment when Mr. Trump appears more contemptuous than ever of attempts to manage or control him. One of her go-to news sources, people who have observed her say, is the website Gateway Pundit, which frequently disseminates conspiracy theories embraced by the far right.

trigger warning: make sure your barf-bag is within arm’s reach, because —

Mr. Trump has dismissed concerns about Ms. Harp, whom he calls “sweetie” and treats like a daughter, according to people close to him.

first of all, ew.

and second of all, ewwwwwww.

does ‘treats like a daughter’ mean that Donny wants to quote-unquote ‘date’ her — if that’s what we’re charitably calling it — and is constantly trying to grope her?

now get ready to crank the ‘ewww’ dial so far past 11 that it snaps off in your hand — because honestly, Natalie sounds like a creepy fucking stalker.

In 2023, Ms. Harp sent a series of letters to Mr. Trump that unnerved people around him, according to a half-dozen people with knowledge of them.

“You are all that matters to me,” she wrote in one of the letters, which were seen by The New York Times. The letters’ authenticity was confirmed by two people with direct knowledge of them.

“I don’t ever want to let you down,” Ms. Harp wrote, thanking Mr. Trump for being her “Guardian and Protector in this Life.”

In another letter, she told Mr. Trump that she wanted to get back to “that synergy” she used to have with him, where “we’d talk about everything and nothing.”

“I want to bring you joy,” she wrote, “to feel like we can get through a day without ever having to talk ‘work.’”

move over, Kim Jong-un, you’re not the only person writing gooey love letters to Donny.

here’s another fun thing about Natalie: she claims Dear Leader cured her cancer.

this is the weirdo who has access to Donny’s laptop, and plays videos for him. why does Donny allow this? because she reminds him of Ivanka.

what the fuck?

---

think of all the people around Donny who have been lying to him in order to get him to do their bidding.

we have Couchfuck McGee spinning poppycock about Haitians eating all the dawgs. we have Dr. Oz going on about the cost of penises. Peter Navarro is responsible for Donny’s complete misunderstanding about how tariffs work, and Russ Vought’s been telling him fairy tales about how firing every government worker will bring prosperity.

the Space Nazi filled Donny’s ears with so much nonsense about the imaginary ‘white genocide’ supposedly going on in South Africa, that he made a fool of himself while meeting with South Africa’s President Ramaphosa.

don’t even get me started on Nosferatu McGoebbels, who never stops spewing vile shit about immigrants — most recently, Somalis in Minneapolis. all this fuckery going on right now is his doing.

and god only knows what lies Putin’s been feeding Donny about Ukraine.

and now we have this conspiracy-soaked woman, Natalie Harp, who is obviously head-over-heels smitten with Donny, apparently has access to his laptop, and feeds Dear Leader a steady diet of whatever conforms to her whacked out worldview.

is Natalie Harp the reason Donny imagines he saw Renee Good running over one of his beloved masked ICE thugs?

you can’t make this shit up, because there’s no way to make it believable.

none of this is normal, and none of this is good for a healthy democracy.

---

let’s go out with a bang. here’s your hero of the day: former wrestler (and former Governor of Minnesota) Jesse Ventura.

a reporter caught up with Jesse in his home town of Minneapolis yesterday and asked him if he had any message for Donny. let’s sit back and enjoy what comes next.

“who is that? you mean the draft-dodging coward? I don’t call him by name. he’s the draft dodging coward who, when it was his time to serve his country, he did what all rich white boys did. I wasn’t a rich white boy. I grew up in South Minneapolis, me and all my friends are Vietnam veterans. we had to go. but the rich white boys never had to go, did they? and he didn’t have to go, did he? and yet, he’s gonna tell me what courage is?”

pour one out for MAGA — they’re going through some things right now.

boo fucking hoo, bro.

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

956 / 1045