357 Comments

That lede is double-A+.

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it's funny because it's TRUE

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One zillion per cent.

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He also injects bleach! 🤣

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Oh, how I wish he would... just a small 100cc of pure chlorine bleach. Please dipshitdon... Please 😁 🙏🏼

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I second this motion!

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I wish he’d inject bleach because he’s a super stable Orange genius and he should do it as soon as possible

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Have you seen this Brent Terhune bit?

https://fb.watch/r5vOPJ3zcr/?mibextid=w8EBqM

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Did all the sins, broke all the commandments, more crimes than Manson but also probably Jesus. Sure, why not?

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S&P just upgraded it to AAA

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No!

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I couldn't breathe for a while...

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I thought I'd choke with Jeff's calling him "God's own earthly avatar"!🤣

I want to know for sure that Donnie Shitstain hasn't replaced any of the pictures in his God-forsaken missive with pictures of himself. I can't believe he hasn't!

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I am sure there is one with him walking on water but they may need to update the one with the loaves & fishes...he appears to be grabbing all the loaves from the poor.

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How ‘bout one of him nailed to the cross with his flab hanging over his diaper? Ya know, he does like to play the martyr.

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OMG, SO appropriate! And, really no cgi or mock photos but the real deal. Want to play the victim, play the martyr? Please, step right op, A-hole!!

Such a good idea!

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Good one! You know this is all because he just hasn't thought of it yet! He's probably shaking his little fists even as we speak!!!

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I really wouldn't put it past him.🤢

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You think there’s a pic of Lord Donald printed across from the title page? Or maybe on the back jacket flap, “About the author…” Or on the front cover, so true followers of the MAGA Path will know right away it’s an original collector’s-item and not an also cheap copy?

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🤣🤣🤣

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It would make sense now that I think about it! Maybe in the next edition....

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Hopefully there won't be a Christmas Holiday edition because he'll be in jail!🤞

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He'll be selling something even weirder by Xmas.....

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A Gonzo nativity scene, with Stormy breasts-out preparing to nurse Orange Baby Jesus bearing tRump’s face, with the wise men Steven Miller, Steve Bannon and Rudy Giuliani bleeding black shoe polish with the backdrop Four Seasons Landscaping, and a Mitch McConnell turtle in sheep’s clothing staring with puzzled expression at the newborn child in golden swaddling clothes monogrammed DJT, with classified document boxes partially hidden by hay bales in the back corner of the manger bearing a gaudy neon sign blinking TRUMP

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Hopefully he’ll be selling his shit dribbling cornhole to jumbo Jon at Leavenworth! Every Vote counts! 😎

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Keep an eye out for churches buying these things in bulk. That way, they can skirt campaign finance laws that forbid churches from donating to campaigns.

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Yes,it’s called holy money laundering via church.

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The Prosperity Gospel was the John the Baptist that prepared the way for Donald the Savior.

Now, a con of biblical proportions.

Maybe one day Fat Fharaoh and his chariots will drown in the Red Sea of his stolen cash.

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And do you know how they make holy water? Take some water and boil the hell out of it!

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I’m comforted by the thought that no church wants to part with their own money. They’re too busy running their own tax-free scam, to contribute to his!

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We can hope but the big box church millionaire have that one hand washes the other philosophy.

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F..k that’s nasty. So as well as peddling racist Christo nationalism these so called churches are bending the law of the land for political profiteering. What is the next level of treason beyond UnAmerican ?

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Good point

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Q: "what kind of dipshit buys a bible from a racist adulterer?"

A: First class.

Thanks for the laugh Jeff, enjoying my subscription immensely.

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I never actually answered the question raised by the headline, did I. I guess it's a rhetorical question

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I'm not too proud to confess that the headline of today's post was intended to be a placeholder to be re-written later, and I kinda forgot to get to it

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yet we didn't know that, but see it as perfect...cause we're all asking the same fucking question!!!....I am actually tired of typing, "you can't make this shit up!"...in response to the shitshow coming from them and him...

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Save it for stupid Saturday!😊

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You create perfection, then second-guess it. Your only flaw!

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Yes, but who doesn't second guess themselves? What I like is Jeff is so fucking funny but so relatable

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Surely you’ve heard of Fuckface Von Clownstick who doesn’t ever, EVER second guess himself.

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Surely we will not compare our friend Jeff, with THAT AssClown...but I get your point.

And of course many of us will second guess ourselves, if you are a narcissist sociopath that would be highly unlikely. When you have no sense of empathy or responsibility to others, why worry?

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It was indeed the perfect lede. I didn’t intend to make that rhyme, I guess it was ordained.

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you're forgiven lol

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I think it’s the question that needs to be asked, and it gets to the heart of that matter: His fools lap up what he is and sells, the purchase of this Bible marks them for what they are: Christofascists.

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Funny how this fucking atheist clown who's net worth was increased by Forbes to over $6 billion is now selling Bibles in an attempt to cover his broke, sorry, phony, crooked ass. And as Jeff indicated, his latest scam will sell out as the mindless MAGAs will never learn. We can only guess what's next on his pathetic, never- ending grift list. Perhaps pieces of fake fur from that thing on his head, minus the DNA.

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Hey, it was pretty much only Jesus who was badmouthing racism. (the parable of the Samaritan.) Most of the Bible is from the point of view of the Chosen People, not an anti-racist position.

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Ditto

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His cult will never learn. How sad. But today's description is going to need its own page pretty soon. 😂😂 Damned brilliant. I'm anxiously waiting for April 15. Let's go to court and get it done.

Or a coronary...whatever. ✌️

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Let’s put the big dream out there…a coronary or a stroke on April 15th after the opening statements. Gotta watch him squirm a bit first…or better yet, while they are dragging his fat ass out of the court room in cuffs because he couldn’t keep his ketchup eating hole shut.

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His slogan for his bible is Let’s Make America Pray Again. Oh Donny, if you only knew - you’ve had millions praying for your demise for years!!

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Proof that PRAYER is bullshit.

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I thought it was make America PAY again ?By the way,seeing that it’s a religious item is it tax exempt ?😜🙏😇

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Well, he’s got those big legal bills, and the RNC is going to run out of money, so he’s got to raise the cash somehow. And he has all that experience hocking worthless junk, so his latest scam fits right in.

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TRUTH🙌🏽

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TRUTH! 👍

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If I close my eyes and wish hard enough, I might be able to make it happen. 😂

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Let’s all try that. We have the power to make it happen.

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I have a voodoo doll. And I have friends who hex.

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Bring it on Cassandra.. and maybe a wooden stake too.. just in case 🙌🏽

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I'm with you

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MAGAts aren't capable of learning.

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Or, we get to play Trump, the Game: go to court ( pop the popcorn and wheel in the carnarvel wagon) get convicted, go to jail. Rinse and repeat?

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Or a coronary… rude! 🤣

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I'm surprised that he didn't add a Book of Trump to that bible.

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Book of Trump. Do unto others before they do unto you. And grab them by the pussy

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Why are the pages STICKY. ? 🤢

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😂😂🤮

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🤮😂🤮😂🤮

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Is that, ketchup? Cause, you know he reads it SO OFTEN!

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I’ve been wondering myself. But then considering who would actually buy this crap, not really😂.

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Listen to his ad...he mentions the "movie stars" Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John...then babbles something about a book of Donald...so you're not far off. His vileness knows no limit.

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I think he has written 'The Book of Donald'...it's 4 pages long and written in crayon!

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And in ALL CAPS. Probably the page numbering will be off.

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Wrote it out in phonetic’s. Faw his phuken moreon phans!🤪😜😵‍💫

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Or thick scrufty black magic marker. Whatever.

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Someday I'm sure they will put his tweets in a book and vile people will read it & laugh at all the bullying and cruelty in his words.

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Seriously??!! Oh my dog...

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Susan Jane: brilliant idea. This could be the next edition. Really plausible that he could start selling the enhanced edition with Book of Trump included. I hope it happens. This entire grift is genuinely hilarious.

It is way better than the gold sneakers. This one rolls together cultist zealotry, christofascist symbols , white supremacy, all of the MAGA markers. And it’s topped off by a fabulous sales pitch that was to move the emotional needle and get the credit cards snapping. So blatant and vulgar !! It hits all the right notes.

Where is John Waters today? This level of tawdry vulgarity is his sweet spot.

The comic relief has been refreshing. I can’t stop giggling appreciatively.

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" See more fucked up movies ".

* John Waters

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Ha ha! My daughter was seated across the aisle from John Waters on a flight a few weeks ago.

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I have to reiterate: I find this Bible thing to be pure comedy. No cruelty or violence or anything..not even the creepy racism that went with the gold foil gym shoe grift.

The beauty of this… the purity … is his unabashedly pimping and grifting his most gullible followers. It really is pure humor

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I am totally envious. He is a genius. And actually a lovely person (despite his personna of being trashy etc) LUCKY DAUGHTER

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I've also met him, but it was years ago at the Baltimore premiere of Pink Flamingos. I was a student. What an occasion that was! My daughter didn't mention that to him. She didn't want to intrude, but she did say hello and tell him how much she enjoyed his work. She said he was nice.

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Hey, when, he said “legions of people”, my mind went right to “my name is legion” because there were so many demons in the possessed man in the real Bible. 😳

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"We are many. We are legion."

"The Exorcist"

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Mark 5: 5-9 King James 🙏🏾 And yes, indeed, the mother of fear films the original Exorcist.😱

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He’d have to learn how to read and write….!!

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Surely, some insane, GQP hack is furiously scribbling those passages, probably on the sides of his 1982 Chevy rape van.

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Oh I’m sure it’s on its way! 😂😂😂🤮

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Coming soon! 😆

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Thank you for including the Christianity Today article. Actual Christians need to stand against this hateful and cruel man. He’s so fucking ridiculous on top of it all. It’s embarrassing.

I have a proposal. Every time he begs for cash, send some to Democrats or Pres Biden’s campaign. I know I’m motivated to do that every time I hear his lies.

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I agree and think highly of Christianity Today, but I am skeptical about the number of "true Christians" are going to push back on Trump's vulgar blasphemy.

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The Christians I know well wouldn’t buy this nonsense but, I admit the Christians I’m close to have my same political leanings

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Yikes! You trying to bankrupt us?

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😂😂. Explains why he’s raising so much money!

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Holy shit on Holy Week….your run on descriptive sentence is spot on as usual! How can people be so dumb?( don’t answer… I have a brother…)

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Holy Week - is it not ironic that trump began selling these the day after “Holy Monday” which was when Jesus asserted his authority by driving out all of the people using the temple for self-gain? 🙄

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"Little Donny Fuckface is what would happen if the seven Deadly Sins became a real boy. let’s run through the list: pride — yup. greed — you betcha. lust — just ask Ivanka. envy — no shit. gluttony — have you seen his waistline? wrath — ducked any ketchup bottles lately? sloth — the lazy fuck drives his golf cart right up onto the green".

You are the best, Jeff! I love this!

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Haha - your description of tfg leads me to think that you must have been the one who wrote this for Clark Griswold in “Christmas Vacation”: “I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is.” Good job - I love it!

But seriously (🤪🙄), I heard that he originally was going to sell the Bibles for $69.99 but they removed the 10 commandments and reduced the price to $59.99. 😁

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Oh groan! Good one.

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I would expect those 7 deadly sins (so incriminating!) to be disappeared also.

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Haha! That’s hilarious 🤣

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Brilliant Barbara!! I choked on my hot tea laughing!!🤣

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😂😂😂

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Who else didn’t have Paper Moon — a cautionary tale about a grifty, shifty Bible salesman and his sketchy daughter — becoming an allegory for the presidential race on their 2024 bingo card?

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He is such a fuckin asshole he really is. He needs to fuck right the hell off

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Straight to Fuckoffistan!

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🤣🤣🤣🤣

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I’m with you Janine and Juli!! He can fuck the fuck off straight to fuckoffistan which is next door to Hopeyouchokeonagerbil and across from Ratsareshittingonyourtoupee..

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I'm trying to figure out how one reaches the precise level of brainlessness that permits bodily functions and excludes thoughts entirely because I have no idea how eighty million fuckers managed it in perfect four part harmony.

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They drank the Bleach!

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Zombie!!

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“It’s my favorite book” says the idiot who has never read a book in his life. 🤣🤣🤣

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Word is.. that Jesus is calling in sick for Sunday , the resurrection is off ,he’s going to sleep late ,can’t face the old man with this shit going on ! Thinks the crucified and dying for our sins thing ,just didn’t catch on !😇👎 On top of that he caught word that the Anti Christ was gonna fire him !🤯

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You are so right, Jeff. Trump kills everything he touches. Trump is one of the few people on earth dumb enough to bankrupt a Casino!

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I would go as far to say that he's not only "dumb", but he's incompetent.

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I’d add impotent and not only in a sexual manner.

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Incompetent and Incontinent.. Diaper Don🖕🏽

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I just hope he doesn’t kill our country

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We can hope, but better to vote!

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That's what I think every time I bear Everything he touches dies. Look how much he has and continues to mangle our nation

He must be defeated

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Trumps Taj Mahal casino was fined $10 million dollars in 2015 for money laundering— something that was going on forYEARS! Closed in 2016…..

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You got that right,don’t think it’s ever been done before or since! It’s impossible to go broke with a money printing machine 💴💴💸🤩 ,but shithead diaperboy figured out a way ! Imbecile!🤪

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The reverse Midas touch. Everything he touches turns to shite.

Wonder what Bible colleges have to say about this latest blasphemy.

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He has that FECAL TOUCH

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You are not wrong

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They’re opening a patent infringement lawsuit!⛪️

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Who owns a patent on the Bible? (Also I’d hope so if anyone can establish ownership)

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Why the Pope of course ! The Vatican has a copy right on Jesus too ,and a Trademark on “The Pearly Gates “ ,I wouldn’t even guess at the title to Heaven,but between you and me, the smart money’s on the Pope ! I hear it’s a retirement community,subsidized don’t ya know ,super easy lease agreement,pets OKAY! 👌 I hear it’s real nice ,people are just dying to get in !😇😜. Only kidding Big Guy ! …..arrrgghh!mmmmy ❤️😱⚡️⚡️Hey the way things are going here on Terra Firma ,if Gods up there he, she ,them ,it ,absolutely must have a sense of humor ! I’m hoping this is all just a little Joke being played on us ,so maybe 🤔 we’ll smarten up and get it right!🌍🌈🌎

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😂😂😂

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Such a good question, Patris!!

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"Wonder what bible colleges have to say about this latest blasphemy" - Falwell "University" is pissed they didn't think of it first.

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👌🏼🔥

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I take it as a given that Trump doesn’t even have the money to pay his first-sale reduced bond. In fact, I’d be astonished to hear that he had anywhere near $5,000,000 in readily available funds.

Note: the exact same Bible, sans the Christian Nationalist bullshit, is available on Amazon for $10.95.

And of course he hasn’t read the book. If he had, he would know that Leviticus demands that all adulterers be put to death.

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Male adulterers too?

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There's a " recipe " for an Abortifacient

in NUMBERS in the Buy - bull, for unfaithful wives.

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