what kind of dipshit buys a bible from a racist adulterer

there’s no bottom to this greasy little grifter’s barrel

Little Donny Fuckface is what would happen if the seven Deadly Sins became a real boy. let’s run through the list: pride — yup. greed — you betcha. lust — just ask Ivanka. envy — no shit. gluttony — have you seen his waistline? wrath — ducked any ketchup bottles lately? sloth — the lazy fuck drives his golf cart right up onto the green.

so it’s only natural that the quadrice-indicted twice-impeached popular-vote-losing adderall-huffing insurrection-leading testimony-ducking judge-threatening lawyer-ignoring witness-tampering day-one-dictatoring disabled-veteran-dishonoring inheritance-squandering rube-fleecing clown-makeup-smearing language-mangling serial-sexual-predating draft-dodging casino-bankrupting butler-bullying daughter-perving hush-money-paying real-estate-scamming bone-spur-faking ketchup-hurling justice-obstructing classified-war-plan-thieving golf-cheating weather-map-defacing horse-paste-promoting paper-towel-flinging race-baiting tax-evading evidence-destroying charity-defrauding money-laundering diaper-filling 88-count fluorescent tangerine felony factory is hawking Bibles now.

this is Holy Week, so of course the greedy shithead is honoring it by doing what he’s always done: slapping his name on someone else’s shoddy product and separating the marks from their money — this time with Bibles — because there’s no bottom to this greasy little grifter’s barrel.

here’s how Donny’s pitching his latest scam, in a video posted on his crappy app.

“All Americans need to have a Bible in their home and I have many. It’s my favorite book,” Trump said in a video posted to social media Tuesday, encouraging supporters to purchase the “God Bless The USA Bible.” “Religion is so important and so missing, but it’s going to come back.”

Christ on a popsicle stick, what unadulterated horse shit. don’t try to tell me that this illiterate imbecile has even one Bible in his house, or that he’s ever cracked one open.

back in 2015, someone asked Trump to name his favorite Bible verse. here’s how God’s Own Earthly Avatar answered:

“I wouldn’t want to get into it because to me that’s very personal. You know, when I talk about the Bible, it’s very personal, so I don’t want to get into verses. … The Bible means a lot to me, but I don’t want to get into specifics.”

yeah, right. “it’s very personal” is one step up from “the dog ate my Bible” as a bluff.

now I hear you asking, what manner of clownfuckery is this “God Bless The USA Bible” that Trump is hawking?

you’ll no doubt be shocked to learn that it’s the King James Bible packaged together with some Christian Nationalist bullshit.

The “God Bless The USA Bible” received heightened attention since the outset due to its overt political features.

The text includes the U.S. Constitution, Bill of Rights, Declaration of Independence, Pledge of Allegiance, and the lyrics to the chorus to Greenwood’s “God Bless The USA.” Critics saw it as a symbol of Christian nationalism, a right-wing movement that believes the U.S. was founded as a Christian nation.

so there you have it. Trump is basically pushing a MAGA Bible that’s the brainchild of Lee Greenwood, the country singer responsible for that awful load of post-9/11 jingoism-set-to-music known as “God Bless the USA.”

actual Christians are horrified. here’s Jamie Aten and Kent Annan, writing in Christianity Today:

And therein lies the most alarming concern we share about this “American Bible.” It promotes the myth of an American exceptionalism that is founded on God blessing this nation in a way that God has not or does not blessed other nations. Within our nation, there is wide belief that this country “belongs” to those who look like its earliest European settlers/invaders. And a Bible that assigns God’s blessing to include their violent efforts puts other citizens, especially Black and Brown ones, at risk today. And the myth of American exceptionalism that is trumpeted by this new “Bible” also puts at risk other vulnerable peoples around the globe who are not included among the chosen Americans in this disconcerting “American Bible.”

but what’s that old saying? oh right: a MAGA and their money are soon parted. and Little Donny Grifterpants will always be right there to do the parting.

this week it’s Bibles. last month, it was those unspeakably ugly gold spray-painted sneakers. before that, it was quote-unquote “digital trading cards” with cartoon images of Donny tarted up in superhero and astronaut cosplay.

this fucking guy is just one low-rent scam after another.

you’ve heard of the big ones, like Trump University and the Trump Foundation — not to mention that charming little incident where money raised in the name of cancer-stricken children went right into Donny’s pocket. and of course there were all those casinos that went bankrupt, leaving investors and contractors holding the bag, while Trump absconded with millions.

but there’s been no end to the tiny little grifts along the way.

back in the 1980s and 1990s, when Trump was a mostly-harmless social-climbing clown, he kept slapping his name on one failed venture after another. Trump Vodka. Trump Magazine. Trump Steaks. Trump Water. Trump Mortgages. Trump Air. Trump Mattresses.

there was even Trump: The Game, which was a blatant rip-off of Monopoly where instead of landing on Ventnor Avenue, your token would end up on some shitty golf motel.

but, of course, everything Trump touches dies — so none of these harebrained schemes lasted more than a few months.

for fuck’s sake, Donny is such an incompetent moron that he even managed to destroy an entire football league.

nobody wanted any of the crap Trump was pushing.

but that was then. now, Trump commands an army of loyal cultists who will eagerly swallow whatever Dear Leader shoves down their throats. and so, the idiotic trading cards sold out. the spray-painted sneakers sold out. inevitably, this MAGA Bible will sell out.

it’s fucking maddening to live in a country with this many gullible rubes.

sometimes Trump doesn’t even have anything to sell. sometimes he just outright whines for money.

check out Old Accordion Hands, in a recent clip posted to his crappy app:

“we’re going to take back our country. we’re going to make America great again. anything you can do to help. five dollars, ten dollars, twenty-five dollars, a hundred dollars. whatever you can do.”

why is this demented old fool begging for five dollars? why is an alleged billionaire so hot for your spare change?

hey, what if it’s this: what if Donny still can’t raise the money for his appeal bond, even after it’s been knocked down from half a bil to that bargain-basement fire-sale price of $175 million.

the bond is due on April 4th. is Donny still too broke to pay it? we can always hope.