Tim Walz, fuck yeah. JB Pritzker, fuck yeah.
two Democrats, two barn-burning speeches — while Donny blithers about magnets
remember Uncle Tim Walz?
of course you do. he’s the Minnesota Governor who was Kamala Harris’ running mate. now there was a mensch. plain-spoken, authentic. funny. warm. honest. likeable. he was a breath of fresh air. during the campaign, he put out videos where he showed you how to service your own car. how fucking down-to-earth was that?
folks, Tim Walz is back. yesterday, at the DNC Summer Meeting, Uncle Tim gave a rousing speech that, unfortunately, not enough people heard — because, as usual, Agolf Shitler’s Fascistpalooza sucked all the air out of the universe and grabbed all the headlines.
this guy coulda been — shoulda been — our Vice President. listen to this.
“…let me tell you, the privilege of a lifetime, to stand beside someone we know was the most qualified, and would have been a fantastic president, in a President Harris. and look, we wouldn’t wake up every day to a bunch of shit on TV, and a bunch of nonsense. we would wake up to an adult with compassion and dignity and vision and leadership, doing the work. not a manchild crying about whatever is wrong with him. may his fat ankles find something today. petty as hell.”
welcome back, Uncle Tim. we’ve missed you.
Tim is so right — imagine waking up every day into a world where we could all relax and catch our breath for five minutes, without the constant firehose of preening, performative fascism being sprayed in our faces by some broken-inside fuckface.
and wouldn’t it be great to have a Vice President who wasn’t a cold, distant and unpleasant sack of shit? one who, if you tried to suggest that World War Two was negotiated to an end, would never stop smacking your face?
also: “may his fat ankles find something today.” how can you not love Uncle Tim?
“but what we have to be clear about is, don’t take the bait. it boggles my damn mind that in the midst of a military takeover of our cities and the attempt to go into others, the flaunting of the rule of law, the cruelness and the unconstitutional nature of the way they’re attacking our neighbors, that the press finds the need to talk about, ‘oh, there’s a division in the Democratic Party.’ there’s a division in my damn house, and we’re still married and things are good. that’s life. that’s life. we are strong — we are strong ’cause we challenge each other. we are strong ’cause we’re held accountable. we’re strong because we believe that there’s a place for everyone here. think of how easy it would be to be a damn Republican. ‘oh, what should I wear today?’ this stupid frickin’ red hat. ‘what should I say today?’ I don’t know, just make sure it’s cruel. ‘who do we listen to?’ oh, that guy? the felon in the White House? listen to him, and that will be fine.”
this speech, by the way, got barely any coverage at all from the major news outlets. what the fuck, media?
how great is it to hear an elected Democrat talk like a real person?
“I always get in trouble for it and I'll continue to say it. I don’t think we do any favors when we don’t name it — these are fascist policies.”
indeed, these are fascist policies — and Donny was back in that vulgar bordello of an Oval Office yesterday, fascisting at the speed of light.
America’s Mad King announced that he had cooked up some cockamamie plan wherein Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand would create ‘specialized units’ in the National Guard that will be used to “address crime in cities.”
that’s great. that’s just what America needs — the incompetent, in-over-his-head Fox News dunk-tank clown creating his own ‘warfighting’ stormtroopers to invade cities where they are neither wanted or needed. what could possibly go wrong? remember Kent State?
Donny also signed another one of his unconstitutional executive orders, one that directed the DOJ to prosecute flag burners, and chuck them into prison for a year. spoiler alert: he hasn’t the authority to do this.
but looming large over all of this remains Donny’s constant barrage of threats to send troops into Chicago — and yesterday, Illinois Governor JB Pritzker had a plain and clear response: fuck straight off with your fascist bluffoonery.
“earlier today in the oval office, Donald Trump looked at the assembled cameras and asked for me personally to say, ‘Mr. President, can you do us the honor of protecting our city?’ instead, I say, Mr. President, do not come to Chicago. you are neither wanted here, nor needed here. your remarks about this effort over the last several weeks have betrayed a continuing slip in your mental faculties, and are not fit for the auspicious office that you occupy.”
Governor Pritzker has the same question we all do: what problem does Donny imagine he’s solving, by occupying Chicago?
“no one from the White House or the executive branch has reached out to me, or to the mayor. no one has reached out to our staffs. no effort has been made to coordinate, or to ask for our assistance in identifying any actions that might be helpful to us. local law enforcement has not been contact. we have made no requests for federal intervention. none. we found out what Donald Trump was planning the same way that all of you did. we read a story in the Washington Post. if this was really about fighting crime and making the streets safe, what possible justification could the White House have for planning such an exceptional action without any conversations or consultations with the governor, the mayor or the police? let me answer that question. this is not about fighting crime. this is about Donald Trump searching for any justification to deploy the military in a blue city, in a blue state, to try and intimidate his political rivals.”
Pritzker is exactly right: there is no actual plan to solve an actual problem, because there is no problem.
Donny’s police-state fuckery is a naked show of force for its own sake. it’s the work of a broken-inside, spiteful ball of insecurity abusing the powers of his office, just so he can prove he’s not the weak failure his abusive father always told him he was.
it’s fascism. no, it’s worse than that: it’s fascism, but with morons — because Donny’s cheese is slipping further and further off his cracker.
remember what Pritzker said about “a continuing slip in Donny’s mental faculties”? well, get a load of this.
“China intelligently went in and they sort of took a monopoly of the world’s magnets. and nobody needed magnets until they convinced everybody twenty years ago, ‘let's all do magnets.’ there were many other ways that the world could have gone, but— so, for— it’ll take us probably a year to have ’em. we’re heavily into the world of magnets now.”
ah yes, remember twenty years ago, back in 2005, when for no reason, we were are all ‘let’s do magnets’? nobody ever needed magnets before then. who even knew what magnets were? some smug asshole would start in with ‘well, you see, there’s this natural force called magnetism’ and we were all ‘get the fuck out of here, who needs that shit?’
and then those fucking Chinese commies jedi-mind-tricked us into being horny for little pieces of metal that stick to each other, and now here we are — stuck in a world with magnets. and, Donny reminds us, there are so many other ways we could have gone.
as usual, Donny has grabbed a small nugget of fact by its haunches, and given it a vigorous clownfucking.
what Dear Leader is blithering about in this clip is China’s near-monopoly on rare earth magnets — but the incoherent nonsense that oozes out of Donny’s rancid anus-mouth sounds like how a child would explain it. because that’s exactly what Donny is: an overgrown child with a toddler’s understanding of the world.
Donny’s brain has gone fuckity-bye — and it’s looking more and more as if his body isn’t far behind.
look at Donny’s hand, from yesterday.
he’s not even trying to conceal the ugly bruising any more.
what are we not being told about Donny’s health? he’s a mess. he looks tired. he’s constantly out of breath. he can barely finish a sentence. he drags his foot when he walks. his ankles are swollen all to fuck.
what are Donny’s handlers hiding from us?
has Donny even been told the truth about his multiple infirmities?
is this why, out of the clear blue, he’s musing about whether or not he’ll get into heaven?
here’s your hero of the day.
Missouri Rep Mark Alford held a town hall last night, and this pissed-off constituent ripped Alford — and Dear Leader — several new ones. it’s three and a half minutes of glory.
“I am pissed, and I am pissed at you. the man is a dictator. he knows nothing about what he talks about. you need to take your head out of Trump’s ass.”
no lies detected.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
820 / 909
"you need to take your head out of Trump’s ass" that should be the first thing Democratic leadership in Congress says in the morning and the last thing they say at night.
"the press finds the need to talk about, ‘oh, there’s a division in the Democratic Party.’ there’s a division in my damn house, and we’re still married and things are good. that’s life. that’s life. we are strong" 😂😂 Uncle Tim is just like every other working American. I heard this speech yesterday and was applauding in my kitchen! And Pritzker has always been amazing! 👏👏
DID YOU GUYS SEE THE VET burn an American flag in DC yesterday right after Cankles McFuck signed his little order?? That Vet had a few things to say and it was glorious!