this week in stupid: October 27 edition
Susan Collins looks it up, Donald Trump ‘chocks’ a pup, and so much more ...
yes, I’m posting ‘this week in stupid’ a day early. that’s because I have something special cooked up for Saturday and Sunday. stay tuned.
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
sunday: feel the Pencementum!
“hey Myrtle, who is this guy?”
“how should I know, Fred?”
“can’t a guy wait for his prescription in peace? why is he talking?”
“be polite, Fred, he seems nice.”
“hey Myrtle, isn’t this the guy from the gutter cleaning commercials on TV?”
“now that you mention it, Fred, he does look familiar.”
“oh shit, he’s going to try to sell us a time-share, isn’t he.”
“now Fred, remember what the doctor said about your blood pressure.”
“don’t worry about my blood pressure, Myrtle, this guy is putting me right the fuck to sleep.”
monday: get this fucking thing away from me
“hey Alina, how long do I have to hold this fucking thing?”
“I don’t know, Mr. Trump, I’m just a parking garage lawyer.”
“pick a fucking number, Alina. this thing is going to shit on me.”
“ok, 8 seconds.”
“holy shit, Alina. is 8 seconds up yet?”
“yes, Mr. Trump.”
“thank fucking christ.”
hey, at least Donny Fuckface did a better job of it than the last time he was forced to handle small live objects.
tuesday: and I worked so hard on my satanic socialist costume for this year
Halloween isn’t until next week, but the Loose Screw Brigade is already hard at work making sure no one has a good time.
I don’t know what set these “patriotic Christians” off, but they clearly follow the teachings of Republican Jesus.
that’s right, you freeloading 7-year-olds, you want some candy corn? earn it, you useless parasites.
wednesday: speaking of useless parasites …
there’s stupid, there’s really stupid, there’s totally fucking stupid, and then there’s Susan Collins.
hey Suze, has Donald Trump learned his lesson yet?
thursday: Donald Trump has a perfectly normal one
Little Donny Fuckface is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to life as a perpetual defendent in a never-ending series of trials, and he’s cracking under the strain.
fresh off his horrible day in court on Wednesday, Trump took to his crappy app and fucking unloaded — on Judge Engoron, on Letita James, on Michael Cohen, and most of all, on Maggie Haberman. imagine spending seven years carrying water for Donald Trump and he still ends up calling you Maggot Hagerman.
leaving that aside, one thing’s for certain: Donny sure hates dogs. in Trumpworld, people are always crying like dogs, or dying like dogs — or in this case, “chocking” like a dog.
and how is Trump such an expert on how dogs die? no, on second thought, I really don’t want to know.
friday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.
Chocking?? Seriously?? That dumbassmfkrdoucheforbrains can’t spell to save his own life. You’d think there was someone spell checking anything he scribbles. I am baffled anyone thinks that this illiterate moron who can’t spell correctly and who cannot speak in complete sentences is THE GUY that should run the country and have complete access to nuclear codes and our countries top secrets. And this is THE GUY Repuklicans are bowing down to and licking the shit off his shoes..I swear I’m living in an alternate universe of fucking dumbass people.
Honestly, the more he tweets, the more he sounds exactly like Sméagol/Gollum. It’s shocking. A President of the United States who expresses his innermost thoughts exactly like the pathetic homunculus in Tolkien’s story. This is a guy who is a successor to Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln. If that alone doesn’t tell you what’s become of the American experiment, I don’t know what will.