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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Anti-vax, pro-raw milk, the list goes on. If we can’t win elections in the voting booth, maybe we’ll start winning through natural selection.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Drinking raw milk from factory farms. Brilliant. They can add a shot of vodka and call it a White Russian.

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Lisa59's avatar

I am fucking cracking up over this piece! 🤣 Fuckwad Jr. will have us milking our cats. He's going to make the Pandemic look like a fairy tale. All this fuckery for King Shitpant's Russian love knuckle.

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Rebecca Elliott's avatar

Actually, he's not nearly bright enough to suggest milking cats. Cat milk is one of the richest milks among domesticated animals, which is why mother cats can successfully rear almost anything. Of course, cat milkers would have to get combat pay.

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Lisa59's avatar

Combat pay is right. 😂

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JunieMoon's avatar

Combat pay and ultimately hospitalization expenses. Yikes!

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

People in central Asia milk their horses. Then they drink it warm after it's been fermented for a few days. I refused to drink it. One of the people on my tour made the worse face when he tried it. Maybe RFK Jr. can start that custom here.

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Lisa59's avatar

Gross! 😝 He was great when he was fighting injustices against corporations polluting this country. Then he took a hard right off the crazy cliff.

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Rebecca Elliott's avatar

Brain worms will do that to you.

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Robert R's avatar

R..obbie's F… ucken K…oo koo Jr. his Dad is scratching at the lid of his coffin ⚰️!

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Marla's avatar

…and heroin. That stuff is toxic.

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Crystal M's avatar

😆😅🤣🤣🤣😂

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Nancy Potter's avatar

Years ago there was a local dairy that sold delicious raw milk -- it can be done safely but takes extensive efforts to prevent contamination, and involved a heavy level of inspection and regulation. Sometimes the raw milk would be unavailable for weeks at a time due to failure to pass an inspection. Offering raw milk in an environment of deregulation, with Vivek and ELmo deciding what's efficient is a good way to cull the MAGA herd.

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Mombeka's avatar

Also I defy anyone to drink raw milk without gagging. It was offered to me once by a friend of my dad’s in Sri Lanka, still warm from the cow. 🤢

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

It's not good when cows get into wild onions either.

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P. J. Schuster's avatar

I used to drink raw milk & cream, made my own butter, but that was long ago, out in the boonies on a ranch & we had 1 cow. It didn’t come from a nasty factory farm, I milked the cow myself.

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skangirl's avatar

NO raw milk for babies!

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Sooz Hall's avatar

Unless it comes from the mother source.

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arne link's avatar

We grew up on raw milk but we had a cow. Our supply was very local.

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Ian M.'s avatar

So let’s get everybody a cow

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Marycat2021's avatar

Ra milk goes bad as soon as it comes out of the cow.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I'm investing heavily in funeral homes in red states for the next 4 years. Maybe longer

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skangirl's avatar

Numbers may be so high that instead of funeral homes, you may want to look into investing in companies that make body bags.

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Bernadine Bader's avatar

,,,or refrigerated trucks. . .

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Barbara Morgan's avatar

🎯✌🏻💙

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David A Pitock's avatar

Or john deere

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Heard Kennedy did an anti Vax number on Samoa. That went over well.

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David A Pitock's avatar

Yes 80 people from small pox, mostly children . I stand corrected it was measles. Bad juju either way.

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Sooz Hall's avatar

It was measles

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David A Pitock's avatar

That's right, thanks I forgot.

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Rose Maly, MD, MSPH's avatar

Actually measles, not smallpox, which is the first and only disease to have been completely eradicated by vaccination in the whole world. I am totally for attacking the complete idiot, but please stick to the facts.

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

Make that "virtually eradicated".

Research samples are kept in two labs, at the CDC in Atlanta and the State Centre for Research on Virology in central Russia. IMO that's a huge mistake, all samples should be destroyed.

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Tully's avatar

It is Smallpox, not Measles, in those two labs. Measles - both types, Rubella and Rubeola - have never been completely eradicated, Smallpox has been.

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P. J. Schuster's avatar

And we were getting really close to eradicating polio, until the anti vax crowd got ramped up. This just pisses me off so badly.

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Scott Bernstein's avatar

Quit talkin' all sexy like that!!!

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Excuse me but I'm 75 and I don't talk sexy anymore!

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

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Bonnie Council's avatar

Good idea!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Excellent point. 🤞

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Mike Hammer's avatar

All aboard the pro-polio party!

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Dr. Pasteur would be like, WTF? I figured this shit out 140 years ago!

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Lisa59's avatar

Right! 😂😂

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Tully's avatar

And the Chinese figured out Smallpox centuries ago which allowed Washington to do vaccinations during the epidemic at Valley Forge.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Man I shouldn’t laugh but….😂😂

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Mike Hammer's avatar

Laugh as loud and as long as you can, Susan!

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arne link's avatar

I know what your mean. Gallows humor. Funny-not funny.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

It seems to be all we have left at the moment.

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Let me sum up's avatar

I mean, do you know anyone who's had polio? You haven't? Ipso facto, just like John Roberts decreeing racism was over in eliminating pre clearance in Shelby County, the lack of cases obviously proves vaccines aren't necessary.

It's just good science.

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Aslo White's avatar

Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Mia Farrow, Donald Sutherland, Alan Alda, and my cousin Albert who died at age 6.

The fact that polio is now rare is proof that VACCINES WORK.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

My ex father in law who's dead now, had polio as a child and always walked with a limp. I'm sure RFK Jr. will be wanting smallpox to return to.

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Let me sum up's avatar

My dad had lifelong nightmares from fever dreams he had while suffering whooping cough as a child.

All this is within living memory & it's just appalling to think we'll retrograde on things that shouldn't even be remotely controversial, like vaccines.

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Let me sum up's avatar

I realize it's not actually that long ago, nor is racism over just bc John Roberts decreed it so. And of course I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

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P. J. Schuster's avatar

I know you know that, it’s just that the last people to get polio are in their mid 70s & older, or they have already died.

I’m 74, got polio at 6 months old. The anti vax crowd make me so angry, they just don’t know what they may be unleashing on everyone, but especially on their children. It just makes me sick

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Tully's avatar

Racism makes for very ugly ignorant people.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

The effective and long standing polio vaccine programs in USA have nearly eradicated the disease. However, as antivaccine dogma has increased, cases of polio, measles, etc. are on the rise. So no, I would not risk the lives and health of my kids if they were young now, nor my as yet non-existent grandkids, by not vaccinating them against historical diseases that are now making a comeback thanks to ignorance and denial.

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Let me sum up's avatar

I wholeheartedly agree & my response was not meant to be taken seriously. At all.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Sorry. I shoulda known.

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NEAL O'CONNOR's avatar

I knew someone who had to deal with polio his whole life. The vaccines are necessary. Saying otherwise will lead to people not trusting the innoculation of the public from some horrible illnesses. "Good science" would be you shutting up.

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Let me sum up's avatar

Whew - I'll remind myself not to make any further deadpan comments on this particular substack.

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Let me sum up's avatar

So ypu see, further upthread someone commented about the Rs being the pro polio party and then...oh nevermind.

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

Please reconsider; I enjoy deadpan and sarcasm 😃

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Gaily's avatar

Late 40’s in the Calif Bay Area, one of the little girls in my neighborhood got polio and ended up in an iron lung. The rest of her friends would go visit her to try cheering her up. If I recall correctly, she either couldn’t or wouldn’t nor even smile. That image is still indelibly seared into my brain. Is Mr Brainworms actually proposing ending the polio vaccine?

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arne link's avatar

Growing up in the early fifties, I knew at least five children with withered limbs. The Crippled Children's Society was a huge charity at the time. There was/is a hospital called Crippled Children's Hospital. Polio was that prevalent back then.

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shee-rah's avatar

And there was also a charity to raise money for polio victims. Do all you boomers remember the March of Dimes?

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Let me sum up's avatar

I know it was, and it can easily come roaring back.

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Charles Austin's avatar

I propose ending Bobby Brainworms.

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Let me sum up's avatar

Nothing would surprise me, though I hope I was exaggerating w my sarcastic comment.

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Your post was written in such a deadpan manner; you had me scratching my head and wondering what planet you were from. 😉

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Robert R's avatar

I remember visiting my two brothers in law Billy and Kevin who had Duchanes muscular dystrophy… both side by side in iron lungs ….this was in the 80’s and it still haunts me to this day ! Prior to that I had thought those machines went out with the Polio epidemic of my early years! Hated the sound they made … it was like something out of a horror flick !

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

I remember seeing pictures of kids/adults in iron lungs when I was in grade school. Ventilators weren't around then. One summer we had to stay away from the public pool because of a polio outbreak. RFK Jr. is NUTS!! It's not just the anti vax stuff. He's just a POS. Vanity Fair had an article about him earlier in the year and he's not a nice person. History of serial adultery, heroin addict, 2nd wife committed suicide when he was having an affair and his ideas are wacky and those aren't even the dead road kill ones. Whether you like the Kennedy's or not, he's a total disgrace to JFK and RFK as far as their public service.

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Let me sum up's avatar

He is a complete horror show in all dimensions, much like the Prez elect.🤮

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Yes, I went to school with a girl who contracted it at age 3. She was wheelchair bound the rest of her life.

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David Olson's avatar

I admire the tongue in cheek. And, yes, I did a few who had polio and with lifetime effect Racism is another…

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Deb Martina's avatar

My best "friend" Deb mentioned how wonderful RFK Jr is going to do to make us healthier. I asked her if she knows who he is and she said yeah, everything I've read about him is good and asked me what I know about him. I tried to explain just a few things that he has in mind, or has done, but to no avail. I asked her if we could avoid talking politics. I give up.

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KMD's avatar

Your friend needs to Google the New Yorker in depth article about RFK Jr. this past August. This was a guy who was not only a heroin addict while he was at Harvard, he was also the local drug dealer! Incredibly promiscuous in both of his first 2 marriages, he even kept a diary with a list of the friends of his 2nd wife who he had screwed. He tormented her so much that she eventually hanged herself.

This is a man who should not be allowed anywhere near any political office!

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Victoria Wilson's avatar

He is part and parcel to the pond scum nature of all of his appointees.I don’t know if these are done as gaslighter/smoker screeners, or shock reaction from “woke” persons or just a heft F U to the American people.For whatever the reason is, these circus freaks are going to continue to be appointed to positions of authority.I have just been waiting to see where Marjorie Taylor Goon ends up. She and the puppy murderer have outstanding creepifications. Imfo

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

Yeah, where's my bestie, MTG? I know - she can head ATF and look for bombs. Funny how the bomber in January, 2021 was never identified. Gaetz is literally dog poop on the bottom of your shoe, but I would not call him crazy. I would call RFK Jr. crazy.

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Victoria Wilson's avatar

Face it.They both are cray cray.

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Robert R's avatar

R …eally F…ucken K..razy. Jr. 🥴🤪🥴🤪

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David A Pitock's avatar

Gaetz is suspected pedophile

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Mombeka's avatar

I have a friend like that. She thinks Dr. Fauci is evil. She didn’t vote for Trump but is upset because her son voted for him because he likes RFKjr. 🤦🏼

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David A Pitock's avatar

Sympathy. Stupid is hard to fix

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Victoria Wilson's avatar

Yes, I hear Bobby Brainworms wants to stop fluoride in our water.Ugh! Which one of these appointees hasn’t washed his hands in 10 years? Eeewwww!Ick!

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Mary Hall's avatar

The Fux News host who will head Shitler's DOD. JFC! We're all going to die!

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skangirl's avatar

My dentist is on the board of the American Dental Association. He said that for every dollar spent on municipal fluoridation, $37 is saved on dental care. (But people will be even *less* able to spend that money anyway. You can be shit-sure that trumps "most beeyoootiful healthcare plan like no one's ever seen does not include dental care.)

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Nearly all dentists, or at least the sane ones, are in favor of systemic fluoridation.

It is established science with demonstrable benefits and safety. It in no way should be controversial. That it is controversial shows how screwed up our society is by purveyors of lies and conspiracies.

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Mombeka's avatar

No fluoride in the water here in Hawaii. We have to get fluoride treatments from our dentist. The kids permanent molars have to be sealed with plastic to prevent decay. It’s truly a nightmare.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Every time the Hawaii Dental Association introduces a fluoridation bill, all these conspiracy nuts and "freedom" types come out from under their rocks and start pelting the committee with false information and typical alarmist crap. That's why we don't have community fluoride, despite high rates of childhood caries. I am told the military bases fluoridate their water, though. And there is a huge difference between systemic ingestion of fluoride during childhood when tooth enamel is forming, versus topical fluoride application after the teeth are formed. The benefits of systemic fluoride are orders of magnitude greater than topical. The opponents cannot get this through their thick skulls.

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Mombeka's avatar

I was born here and my permanent teeth were like chalk when they came in. I inherited small soft teeth to begin with and the amount of money that I have spent on dental care over the years would literally purchase a nice property in Manoa valley! I currently see a periodontist twice a year alternating with a prosthodontist. I have only lost two of my back molars, but the crowns, the root canals, the sh*t that I have gone through! If there was an emoji showing someone setting their hair on fire I would put it right here 😱

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Cats🐈‍⬛'s avatar

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

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Cat's avatar

My son had to have his molars sealed for this reason. No fluoride in well water.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

The White Power Fox news host to lead the Pentagon.

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

That won't fly in Tennessee.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Darwinism doesn’t stop at state lines!

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Mike Hammer's avatar

They’re in Darwin’s underworld.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

The Mason Dixie, perhaps another story Stephanie!

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Tennessee hasn't learned since John Scopes was persecuted for teaching evolution. In 1925. Good going, Tennessee. Still in the 20th century, while the most of us are in the 21st.

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Carol Jacobson's avatar

Darwin will win again.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

RFK Jr gonna help with that

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Marycat2021's avatar

Nah. Look how many of them died during the pandemic, yet Trump won.

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Sharon Senkiew's avatar

Here for it🙌

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Mombeka's avatar

Some of us older folks who hoped to be able to live for another 20 years are not too thrilled about this. It’s “your body-my choice” in another guise.

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Linda Weide's avatar

How's this for natural selection? DT, at the behest of his owner and master Vladimir Putin, just insulted the US DOD and the Intelligence Community. Now, where I grew up, these are not the kind of people you want to insult. If they recognize that they are in a battle with Putin over regime change, they won't let DT or VP have the last word, and JDV better be much more respectful and not try to pull any Project 2025 stuff on them. Of course, maybe the US military wants to be a subset of the "highly functioning" Russian military, on their way to being added to China's military as Xi takes down Taiwan, and then goes on a spree in Asia and Oceania. However, maybe DT is afraid because Putin threatened DT with "defenestration."

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Robert Eckert's avatar

And we're going to have to listen to that rusty-dumpster-dragged-over-gravel voice ranting it about it for years on end.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

Thanks for the best laugh of the day. Actually, you don't. I don't watch MSNBC anymore, deleted all my news apps from my phone and if I get any news, it's from reading it. I am going to do my best to never look at Trump's fugly, fat face or body again or hear his voice or any of the rest of them.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

I was referring to RFKJr's voice, but Trump's voice has an irritation of its own for sure

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shee-rah's avatar

Mute button.

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David A Pitock's avatar

Yes it does tRumps sets my blood pressure to overdrive.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Excellent thought Stephanie!!

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Let me sum up's avatar

Thanks to the general f upedness of the electoral college, Biden''s margins in swing states were so low that I wonder if vax deniers were indeed weeded out to our benefit.

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Purobi Phillips's avatar

My thought exactly.

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Jodi Richard's avatar

Well, if the Magats want to drink raw milk and forgo vaccinations there very well might be a lot less of those fucking assholes come 2026. 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

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Robert R's avatar

Drinksome bleach for a chaser and brighten up !

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

And for good measure, a UV light up the pooper

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Robert R's avatar

Use an ARC lamp and be a hot shit 💩 that will really burn some ass !

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Lisa59's avatar

While simultaneously tanning one's ball on the front lawn.

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

Both of them 🟤🟤

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Lisa59's avatar

🤣🤣

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bluesyfish's avatar

when the comments are as good as Jeff's article - this is why I love you guys!

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

We'll be here all week 🎤

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

Yes, you all make me laugh.

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Mombeka's avatar

I like the use of the term “ball” instead of “balls” here. 🤣

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Sooz Hall's avatar

Anybody else remember the “alternative lyrics” to the theme song of the movie “Bridge on the River Kwai”? I think it started off with “Goerring, he had but one big ball, Hitler had two but they were small, Himmler, was somewhat similar, and poor ol’ Goebbels had no balls at all.”

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Lisa59's avatar

Thanks:).

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

Look at the MAGAs we got rid of during COVID who refused to get vaccinated or wear a mask? Same with the ones that ate horse pills. Every vote counts.

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David A Pitock's avatar

Melania was asked if she bleachs her asshole she replied no, he uses bronzer

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Karla's avatar

Exactly! I’m not opposed to thinning the herd.

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Sally Booher's avatar

I thought that’s what COVID was supposed to do.

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Karla's avatar

It got a good start.

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Donatella  Dillon's avatar

Too many wrong ones left over😱

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

The problem was it thinned some of our prize herd :(

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Ian M.'s avatar

It wasn’t quite strong enough. We need a more powerful one next time.

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Robert R's avatar

Damn straight! Bobby K. Jr. could be the cure for what ails US !let him help out all his fellow believers in getting real real healthy !🥴🤢🤢😵

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Republicans have been pushing the eugenics agenda for decades, Kennedy may be the feared Manchurian Candidate, I’d always wondered if Trump was! Hmm…

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Eva Porter's avatar

Karma.

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Mary A. Rose's avatar

That's my hope, but I thought Covid 19 would do away with a lot of them.

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Deb Martina's avatar

Damnit all. Me too.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Let's hope they were voters.

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Munchygut's avatar

Two assasins tried to do it and failed. I'm thinkin' that RFK Jr. will offer tRump a glass of milk and get the job done.

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Aslo White's avatar

Natural selection at work.

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Katharine Peck's avatar

I like the way you think.

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Donatella  Dillon's avatar

Just let them do it I say…

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Reinventing pasteurization may be the most significant accomplishment of the MAGAT movement.

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arne link's avatar

Won't be long before you-know-who claims he discovered it.

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CL Tee's avatar

And the Father Of It.

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

Yep, turns out he fucked everything.

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Eva Porter's avatar

I was gonna say he fucked a cow but that’s probably too limited.

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Robert R's avatar

A cows a step up considering all the pigs he’s been with 😘🤪

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

Cows have much better taste than to sleep with him.

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Robert Eckert's avatar

But he just grabs them by the udder. When you're a star they let you do that.

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Lisa59's avatar

Literally.

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Robert R's avatar

Considering the man boobs he’s packing he can be the Mother of it too!🤣😂

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SPW's avatar

Sounds just like Cold War USSR.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

He'll claim he discovered milk too.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

You can't reinvent something that's been around for going on 200 years. Besides listeria and E coli, raw milk can also pass along tuberculosis. Raw milk is street drugs before there were street drugs.

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Mingo's avatar

In the late 90's I worked at a major children's hospital in So Cal as a clinical assessor and asthma educator. I had a patient whose mama was an illegal from Mexico and she brought her son here also illegally. She was deported because she tried to scam the state's Medicaid system for medical care for her son who had digestive and stomach issues. Turns out he had drank raw, unpasteurized milk from some weepy eyed cow in Mexico and developed TB of the gut. The kid had major surgery to reroute things in his gut, hence the term "short gut". So MAGA drink up!

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T L Mills's avatar

Which is why USDA inspections at dairy farms are SO IMPORTANT, Brainworm Bobby!!!

Judas H. Priest people...just how stupid and unaware of ordinary history are we in the US that people are so fekking clueless about how prevalent tuberculosis was, not even a hundred years ago.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Years ago, kids got E. coli from Odwalla unpasteurized apple juice. At least one child died. That made unpasteurized juice a thing of the past.

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

That was the subject of the Forensic Files episode, "Core Evidence"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjRS8g94BmE

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

You mean Tuberculosis of intestines?

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Mingo's avatar

Yes it can infect the GI tract from drinking raw milk from cows infected with TB. It's common in 3rd world countries which we are going to be headed if RFK Jr is installed.

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

Accounts for about 2-3% of TB cases

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

TB usually lands on the lungs but it can end up lots of places like bones and guts.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Arrgghh!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Love this Kathleen!!

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Vickie Berry's avatar

🤣

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Truly fascinating, discovering something that’s been going on for decades Walter! There’s certainly a lot of shared ignorance in this country!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Obviously, modern life is so complicated that no single person can understand it completely. Problem is a lot of people have decided that they don't need to understand it at all.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

HAHA!!

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

In further news from MAGATLAND, refrigeration of raw milk is no longer necessary. Simply put the raw milk outside during the winter and enjoy, Libtards!

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Aslo White's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Kay-El's avatar

1. The Onion outbidding Stone is delicious. What’s not fair? That Stone couldn’t Snidely Whiplash his way into owning it.

2. Even more tasty is Watters’ mom making a yummy Thanksgiving and telling her kid he’s not worthy to dine at her table.

3. With this incoming administration, you’ll never have to wait long to see something stupid happening. Non-stop idiocy 24/7

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Robert R's avatar

Government by trial and error! What could possibly go wrong?

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Kay-El's avatar

Is “everything” too vague?

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Robert R's avatar

I don’t get it ,it’s so fuzzy !

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Kay-El's avatar

You’ve entered the Twilight Zone

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skangirl's avatar

"Trial and error" implies that they will *learn* from the experiences. They won't.

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Robert R's avatar

Should have wrote mistrial and perpetual error !

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Teri's avatar

Kay-El, "Snidely Whiplash"🤣🤣 was he the bad guy in Underdog? Maybe Peabody & Sherman? 😂😂

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Snidely was always tying Tess Trueheart to the railroad tracks because she couldn't pay the rent. Very tRumpy ,

put out or DIE.

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David A Pitock's avatar

Or it could of been the work of the fox.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

🎼 What does the fox say ?

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Teri's avatar

😂😂😂

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247kath's avatar

Dudley Doright😄

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Teri's avatar

Thanks! I've forgotten the fun. cartoon details!

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

Voiced by the incomparable Hans Conried - - he did Captain Hook for Disney as well

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Ahhh…there’s a familiar name! Conreid also became a dialect and voice coach, I think. Great actoe!

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Carol JLH's avatar

Soon, there'll be enough material for "this day in stupid."

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Marie Martin's avatar

We’re already there, aren’t we? 🥴

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arne link's avatar

Sadly, I believe you're right.

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Marcie's avatar

I saw a clip of a woman on Waters show repeat the line from the Onion announcement that said they have 3 trillion subscribers as fact. I will repeat AS A FACT. I have not have a laugh like that for a long time. They don't even know what the Onion is?

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Let me sum up's avatar

Same people who believe "over 100%" of new jobs went to "illegals."

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skangirl's avatar

And babies are aborted after the 9th month.

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Let me sum up's avatar

Yep - stable geniuses that they are after all.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Math is not a MAGA strong suit

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David A Pitock's avatar

Nor reading 📚

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

This is still my fav Onion "article" - - several ppl in Congress really lost their shit over it at the time

https://theonion.com/planned-parenthood-opens-8-billion-abortionplex-1819572640/

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David A Pitock's avatar

That must of caused a shit storm among the moral minority.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

Yes, we have aliens that subscribe to it since we don't have enough people on Earth to make a trillion.

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JunieMoon's avatar

Cons have no sense of humor, so they don't understand a lot of stuff. The Onion would be way outside their learning curve.

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Pat's avatar

Until the whole federal government falls apart!

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Kay-El's avatar

Countdown begins January 21, 2025

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Stone is such an insufferable prick. I hope he gets his comeuppance

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Kay-El's avatar

Times 10

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

You’re so very right on Kay-EI!!

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skangirl's avatar

But you'll have to wait ages to see a dentist!

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Kay-El's avatar

Better stock up on fluoride toothpaste and floss or learn to gum your food.

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Tess's avatar

Well you certainly had a lot of stupid shit to to choose from this week! “Performative-nonsense-douche-canoe-“….love that description! Some mothers seem to be much smarter than fox news broadcasters! Love the Onion! And folks-let maggots drink all the non-pasteurized milk they want! Have a great weekend everyone and thanks Jeff for some much needed laughs-Christ on a cupcake!!!!

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Rick Calegari's avatar

I laughed out loud at the douche canoe comment since not only does it apply to intelligence impaired shit weasel Rep. Collins but so many millions more. I got told this morning on Facebook that I should leave the country because of the meme I posted about the stupidity that exists between Canada and Mexico. They don't get it, don't want to get it and could care less if they understood what we're up against the next four years. Can't wait until these clueless red hats get a reality check.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Regarding Watters, what kind of a sorry little bitch goes on national TV and wails about his mommy not inviting him to dinner? Does he want MAGA droolers to go after her?

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T L Mills's avatar

Well, you pretty much described him, right there--a sorry little bitch.

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Deb Martina's avatar

Maybe he's got a GoFundMe?

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Waters is a pig and he knows his mother thinks so too. She’s probably so embarrassed that she gave birth to a white nationalist.

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Eileen's avatar

The performative nonsense douche canoe was also my favorite!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ditto Tess, and everyone here!!

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Gini Kramer's avatar

With anti-vax, anti-fluoride, pro-ecoli RFKjr heading the HHS, how soon can we expect a massive PSA campaign…Make Measles Great Again….Make Tooth Decay Great Again..Make Polio Great Again…need I go on?

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arne link's avatar

I had dinner with a friend last night. We both remember the poor kids with withered limbs from polio. How about we fund a few videos of those poor children dragging their dead limbs around. Younger people don't even know about polio.

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Betsy L's avatar

Don't forget the kids in the iron lungs.

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SPW's avatar

My mother had it. She improvised her walk without a brace on her useless left leg for years. She could fall at the drop of a hat though. Crowds were dangerous situations for her. When she ended up in the nursing home where she spent her last years I had to educate the staff about polio and its after effects. Needless to say, when the vaccine came out, she had me in line for it.

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T L Mills's avatar

We all got vaccinated at school for polio when I was in third grade...and let me tell you when we had to get the booster, we kids were some happy to see it came in a sugar cube!!!! Those multi needle vaccines HURT!

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T L Mills's avatar

Yup. That photo could have been us, except they lined us up in the hallway to pass out the sugar cubes. But the classroom could have been almost anywhere in the US from right around mid to late 50's!

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Teri's avatar

Thanks. Never heard about the polio sugar cube.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

And I have the scars to show from those vaccines. Makes me kinda laugh when I see actors in " historical " films with vaccination scars.

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Vickie Berry's avatar

I’m sorry about your mom. I had an Aunt who had it.

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Tess's avatar

☹️💙

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shee-rah's avatar

Another bonus from the polio vaccine: swimming pools opened again. My brother and I learned to swim at the pool at our local high school.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

It was sugar cube vaccines for us before the days the cubes were used for other ingredients.

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

I preferred gelatin or blotter paper for my "other ingredients"

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Or all the awful birth defects we used to see from Measles and Rubella...

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arne link's avatar

My sister had Cerebral Palsy because Mom caught measles during pregnancy. Terribly hard life.

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Vickie Berry's avatar

You’re right, they don’t know.

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T L Mills's avatar

Most people don't even realize how common tuberculosis was, less than a hundred years ago and it was not unusual to catch it from milk coming from infected cows. One of the many reasons USDA inspections of dairy farms were mandated. Our government says, "you're welcome". There are MANY things that the "gummint" does that protects us in ways of which--apparently--too many people are unaware.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

The tosspots in this country, clearly lack memory, or historical context Arne!

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Marie Martin's avatar

Or iron lungs. Those were SO much fun.

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David A Pitock's avatar

That was a scary time made less by Jonas Salk. Thank you jonas.

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Gini Kramer's avatar

I'm old enough to remember when August was the scariest month of the year because that's when kids got polio. Our moms practically quarantined us. When the Salk vaccine appeared, everyone rushed to get their kids vaccinated. It was a godsend.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Many of them are already on board for the tooth decay and what few teeth they have left.

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Mingo's avatar

Sounds like the MAGA assclown that lives in my HOA. This guy has four rotting black stumps in his head that he tries to pass off as teeth. That's why he has stents in his heart and a pacemaker. All that oral bacteria goes straight into your circulatory system and can also cause dementia.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

True. Oral-systemic connection, especially as it relates to the cardiovascular system is well established. Preventive dental care and stuff like fluoride can save much time, pain, and money. It is common sense. So of course MAGA is against it.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Like

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Yeah, tooth decay not a big deal in some underserved areas that vote MAGA.

Extracted teeth don't decay

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Make miscarriage & ectopic pregnancy great again. 🥺

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Margaret's avatar

OMG--I almost lost my sister to an ectopic pregnancy. I hate right-wing one-issue voters.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Also in progress.

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Tess's avatar

OOOOOO—-we could come up with all kinds of slogans and plaster social media!! hahahaha. Good job Gini!!!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Hell, they'll quit chlorinating/ozonating the water. I am sure cholera and Typhoid clear the sinuses!

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

Absolutely. Chlorine is highly toxic and ozone causes smog.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

RFK Jr.: Friend of Pathogenic Microbes

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Sad truths Gino!!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Gini, sorry this phone constantly attempts to rewrite the words I’ve chosen… damn technology!!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

"honey? I just turned the kitchen faucet, and now there’s water coming out of it. what’s up with that?" MAN! I needed that. 😂😂😂 I cant stop laughing...and damn, do we need to laugh right now. Mike Collins? Roger Stone? For real? And please god, may all the MAGA morons drink LOTS OF RAW MILK-GUZZLE it down. 🤦‍♀️

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Well, Trump told Gavin Newsom if he just turned on the faucet there would be a lot of water coming out of Canada.

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Elizabeth Ayer's avatar

We Canadians are very frightened about the USA coming for our water. This is not a joke. Obviously, we are a small population with many natural resources, living next to a soon to be, totally unethical administration.

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

Exactly. I'm a dual citizen living in California. By some miracle my childhood friend from Nova Scotia invited me to British Columbia for the month of November. I am dreading going back. What you wrote is the first thing that I thought of on November 5th. Musk even tweeted a threat to Canada recently.

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Margaret's avatar

I am so sorry....

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arne link's avatar

Sorry for you but sorrier for us. We're going to have to try to live through it. BTW, aren't we cousins? Could I visit you for awhile, maybe four years or so?

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Hey, I have first cousins with dual citizenship, USA / CANADA, maybe I SHOULD get a passport, if necessary.

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Deb Martina's avatar

💔😢

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Teri's avatar

Well now the Canadians here are rightfully going to rise up again and tell us "get away from OUR water faucet"!

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

😂

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

It's actually not funny. The United States could wreak havoc on Canada in this incoming dictatorship's thirst and gluttony for any resources they want. Look at Putin.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Canada will sic Tim McCracken on us. (Slapshot)

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Invincible ignorance will be running this country, I’ve quit banging my head against the walls, and gonna’ roll with it, it’s much less painful!!

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Vickie Berry's avatar

But I’m going to resist when and where I can. I’m already donating my time and $ to a few that are fighting. But not getting upset about everything little thing in the news or things that “might” or “could” happen. ✌🏽🫶🏼

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Don't worry about cross contamination on cutting boards, that's a HOAX, dontcha know. Just chase that with a Clorox Cocktail. 🍸😵

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂

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T L Mills's avatar

And make sure it was purchased at an uninspected farm!!!!

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Charles Austin's avatar

You've come up with the list for the Dumbass Hall of Fame.😂😂

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David A Pitock's avatar

Chug, chug, chug

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

The level of stupid has officially (?) reached a level that requires me to submerge my old well-worn hip boots into a vat of lye. The stupid was starting to stick. If they don’t come clean, I may have to acquire waders, or possibly a full-on diving bell outfit.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

At least a very stout umbrella.

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SPW's avatar

I’d go for that diving bell rig out. It will be over our heads sooner than we’d like. Sadly there is no vaccine that prevents stupid. We had one at one time. It was called education but RFK, Jr got hold of that years ago and had it banned in most states in favor of home schooling.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

A HUGE condom

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HI2thDoc's avatar

As outrageously stupid as these past 9 years have been, I fear it will worsen.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Heard good things about immersible submarines Neal…sayin’!!

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Tell me more. I imagine soon we all will live in a Yellow Submarine.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Hazmat suit.😂😂

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Alison Parker's avatar

Actually, we should all praise Mike Collins. Who knew you could learn to operate a smartphone with only four brain cells?

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Apparently many citizens can operate cell phones with very limited brain capacity

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Elizabeth Ayer's avatar

Well, 3 year olds are pretty good at the basics, and they don’t read either.

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Nancy Potter's avatar

Phew! I knew a guy named Collins was picked to run the VA. That was Doug Collins, who, we can hope, is up to eight brain cells.

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Connie C's avatar

Ok, that snake vid really freaked me out! 🐍 Yikes! LOVE you Jeff! You’re my favorite Smart Ass! 🤗

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

He's also way up on my list of genuinely smart people.

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CL Tee's avatar

Jeff is part of my daily self-care.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

me too. Give me this day my daily laugh.

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Deb Martina's avatar

Mine too! I'm still processing but thank you Jeff.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Jeff always brings the goods, his info is factual and fucking funny as anything you’re likely to find in daily print! The man’s got talent, if everyone in this country read him daily, this country wouldn’t be in the mind numbing condition we have today!!

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

Makes my day for sure. A genuinely fart smella!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Ouroboros... there is a word for everything. (Edited because of fucking spellcheck - 3 times before it would stick.)

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I’ve seen/heard ouborous before,thanks for the reminder Stephan!

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

All I want President Biden to do over the coming holiday recess is to fill all the open judicial seats! The Repugs are stalling the nominees & they are not getting out of committee quickly enough. Biden has this power! Let him use it

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Melinda Morrell's avatar

Americans are getting dumber by the minute (e.g., Rep. Mike Collins and those raw milk boilers). Congrats to Jesse Watters' mom, but she should have disinvited him years ago. Btw, never take health advice from someone who had a brainworm or Marjorie Taylor Greene.

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bruce somers's avatar

The sniveling weasel from Texas,who would probably eat a steaming pile for Trump,left an impression on me,the depths of how far the Rethugs will debase themselves for their Orange Fuhrer is amazing.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Some Dems wanted to defund the police and some MAGATS want to depasteurize the milk. Shaking my head. You do know that you can get tuberculosis from unpasteurized milk?

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

My Norwegian grandfather died from Tuberculosis, he was a dairy farmer ,

Hmmmm 🤔

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Teri's avatar

No, I didn't know about TB. Not a dairy person - so it sounds like "pasteurization" means boiling milk?

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Actually, it only needs to be heated to about 150 degrees. If you boil milk it ends up a little weird.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Then it's " scalded " , required for some recipes.

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David A Pitock's avatar

Not quite boiling you should heat it to 180 or so to kill the bad stuff amazing what you remember when dealing with the CDC for years

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Stephen Brady's avatar

It is Bovine TB - a different specie from Human TB, but it can kill you nonetheless. It can also lie dormant for many years.

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Karen Hall's avatar

What I wouldn’t give for a photo of the moment Mike Collins realized he couldn’t vote for Sen Majority Leader.

“Oh.” “Fuck.” “Gladys—delete my tweet—STAT”

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

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Tails's avatar

I give you a lot of credit, Jeff. There was so much fucking stupid shit going on this week, I don't know how you narrowed it down!

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