273 Comments

There are only two things that will lift the chains of a Saturday morning hangover off me. One is a tall cold Bloody Mary. The other is Tiedrich.

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Which one is real?

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That AI fuckery—“Dear Leader with the blackest black people you can find”—is pathetic, but the bbq theme suggests to me where I’ve seen that donkey-duck jacking dance. Doesn’t Rumpo the Dancing Clown look exactly like an animated neon sign of a dancing pig outside some really serious bbq restaurant?

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Not surprising and everything that phony fuck displays is fraudulent, fake or it never happened. However that ridiculous orange turd dance of him doing his version of the tubesteak boogie is still part of his playbook until he forgets the moves or won't be capable of any more soft shoe bullshit.

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"jacking off two horses" . . . (that are trying desperately to run away)

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Jeff has a gift for profane poetry, doesn't he?

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Bill Maher has been calling out the “dance moves” for ages. “Jerking off two guys at once.”

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And every single show! I laugh every time.

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Omg you nailed it!! Now I can’t get the image of him as a neon sign flickering back and forth. 👏👏👏 Bravo!!

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Right on. 😀

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😂😂😂

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The dancing fool while wearing a TrumpTM Diaper.

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At least it gave his diaper-fetish fans an excuse to enjoy their kink in public!

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What the actual fuck is a Black Card? Is there some magical door it opens that leads to a secret BBQ party with palm trees and people with too many fingers? 🙄

Witches sneaking around in Virginia??? Seriously? Witches have taken over Monterrey? Hmmm, I'll have to get my broom out, fly over and take a look. I'm in need of some more witchy stuff and California can be cool. Sounds like my kind of place... ffs.

The dancing thing... how silly can one man (and I use that term loosely) look.

jesusfuckingchrist.

Another week in hell. 🙄🤷‍♀️

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A 78yo white man trying to look

“hip” to a small crowd, dancing like

he’s listening to Lawrence Welk!

I’m sure he just converted dozens of Biden votes to his side!

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It's pathetic.

I'm changing my opinion as I write (not).🙄

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founding

I bet Barron finds his dancing cringe-worthy.

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And I thought my parents were embarassing, (they were just old).

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Those that didn’t die laughing at him!🤣

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Snicker, yep - these new Trump recruits converted as if by magic. Swoosh - brain cells deactivated.

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// What the actual fuck is a Black Card? //

It’s a sign of being someone stupid enough to give a minimum of $100 to Drumpf.

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So it doesn't actually "do" anything, like a key card or credit card. It's just a piece of cardboard.

Jr probably uses it to fix his lines. 🙄🤣

I think my eyes are rolling out of my head.

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It’s a coke cutter, if you’re into that, otherwise it’s just a fucking piece of metal with a picture of a deranged lunatic on it. Utterly worthless.

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founding

Utterly worthless? I'm starting to think that my diploma from Trump University might have the same value. But I still have some Trump Vodka that I use to clean my stovetop, so there's that.

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Really? Totally ? Except for cutting lines of coke or other powdery substances meant to be snorted up one's nose to get high?

Really...? I'm so disappointed. 🙄 Although I do like the idea of a shuriken. 🤔🤣

How sad....🤷‍♀️

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There's always the Apple titanium card -- you can at least buy semi-useful things with it, and a very few of them aren't even wildly overpriced. You might even be able to use the Apple card as a shuriken, which makes TWO things the Apple card can do that TFG's black card (which I REALLY doubt is titanium, anyway) will not.

What the black card WILL do is make sure everyone knows just how much of a dumbass and a sucker you are... even more so than you'd be if you went around flaunting your Apple titanium card all the time... :)

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🤣 might work but I don't have apple anything. 🤷‍♀️

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No, no — it’s metal, not pasteboard. So I suppose you could use it as an emergency screwdriver or something. Ooo! Ooo! You could put an edge on all four sides and learn to throw it like a shuriken! 😂

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Or do lines of adderall.

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🎯Just like the original!

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Fling that thing !!!

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So, a Drumpf Batarang!

Uh oh. I've awakened the ghost of Bob Kane, and he is PISSED!

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He’s been hyping this black metal patriot exclusive card for months. Last chance, folks, to get on the list to get your patriot card now. A reward for your support of Donald J. Trump. (I subscribed to this shit for a political disinformation research project i once worked for.)

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First time I saw this grift. Last one was a pen that he “uses to sign documents “. $20. Made in China for pennies, and we’ve seen him scrawl with his ever present sharpie for what seems like ages. I like the bobble head best - it’s what a head does when there is no f—g brain in it. The flag needs to go, though. He’s humping it like he humps every one and everything. That part really pisses me off. I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t flown my flag or worn my flag t-shirt because I don’t want ANYONE to think that I support the f-ing moron. :(

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Is Eric the one responsible for going to Goodwill to buy used suits they can cut up for the suit grift?

I fly my flag on July 4th and that day only. Think of all the American stuff they've soiled. The term "Huge" is fucked. Thumbs up gesture is fucked. The flag is fucked. Any red hat is fucked.

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The suit grift, I love it.😂

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I know, they have stolen the flag of all Americans. It's disgusting.

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It does tell you who to avoid, though. It is bad they have made our flag a symbol of hate, and xenophobia.

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It’s your official certification as a member of the “cognitive underclass.” Thanks again Ned!

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Omg "cognitive underclass," I love it!

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It is a wonderfully subtle snark.

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Could be used to scrape dried cat vomit off the floor. But, like a miracle, I'll probably see Trump's face in that puke.

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She does refer to it as a "sucker". So: sweets to the sweet. Suckers to suckers.

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On the bright side, since it does nothing you'll be less disappointed when it doesn't.

At least he groomed his cultists to accept failure with open wallets.

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Seems like it is a bank card, like Visa or Mastercard. Of course the dupes get to pay for it…. And I imagine they then have to get the card activated by a real bank. Otherwise it is a useless metal rectangle

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Well, it *looks* like a high-end credit card, but as far as I can tell, it’s just a symbol of your allegiance to Der Farter and has no functionality.

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"Seems" is doing a lot of lifting there.

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I bet a metal credit card size makes a great make up trowling tool.

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The black card has the secret power of draining money from your bank account. That's what it does. Period. If you try to do anything else with it, it just laughs hysterically.

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Perfect. Thanks!!!!

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Straight into their coffers, no doubt. A kickback 'fee' for every transaction.

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I used to love visiting Monterey. No more. Witches scare me. I would rather spend my time in the Hellscape -bombed out city of Portland.

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Pretty sure in 2022 a female GOP candidate had to drop out of her race when rumors or ? spread of her being a witch? She had to put out o statement saying "I am not a witch."

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I know , right? I just want to go hang around with the cool Wiccans, they are generally awesome people.

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Yes we are...🌘🌚🌒

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::What the actual fuck is a Black Card?::

American Express issues them—officially they're called "Centurion Cards", and according to The Bouffant of All Knowledge Wikipedia:

"It is reserved for the company's wealthiest clients who meet certain net worth, credit quality, and spending requirements on its gateway card, the Platinum Card.... [It is] minted out of anodized titanium, laser-engraved, and accented with stainless steel. The card reports to credit bureaus and does not maintain a pre-set credit limit. It is considered a status symbol among the affluent."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centurion_Card

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That's the functional Black Card -- we've been talking about the Trump Black Card, which is just another geegaw offered up to the rubes to part them from their money, in support of an alleged billionaire.

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Ah.

That I have no clue about, other than to say if Trump is selling it? I wouldn't trust it to pay for drive-through at McDonald's!

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That's the thing -- it's basically just a "I Love Trump" membership card, like the sort of thing you'd send 2 boxtops and 10 cents off for to join the "Roy Rodgers Riders Club". It doesn't *do* anything, other than separate you from a minimum $100 donation.

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Yes, but it's got the same name as "The Rich Guy's Card", so if you pay for it you can feel rich, too! 😂 🙄 🤦‍♂️

I confess I'm wondering how deep the scam goes—is it just a Membership Card to The Trump Fan Club? Or has Trump somehow found a disreputable financial institution to "guarantee" the card so every time some sucker uses it, they get hit with astronomical interest rates so Donnie can skim off the top...?

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Probably it is the quid pro quo for the Russian owned porn-financing bank in the Caribbean, that the investors in "truth social" were connected to that lent TS money in an 'emergency loan'

"The situation led Trump Media to take emergency loans, including from an entity called ES Family Trust, which opened an account with Paxum Bank, a small bank registered on the Caribbean island of Dominica that is best known for providing financial services to the porn industry.

Through leaked documents, the Guardian has learned that ES Family Trust operated like a shell company for a Russian-American businessman named Anton Postolnikov, who co-owns Paxum Bank and has been a subject of a years-long joint federal criminal investigation by the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) into the Trump Media." merger.https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/apr/03/trump-media-es-family-trust-2022-loans

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Lover’s Point is in Pacific Grove, not Monterey, but sure, whatever, dude. Signed, A Witch.

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I assumed he was misremembering some half truth he heard somewhere regarding the rich esoteric history of Point Lobos. He should just go read Margot Adler’s classic book on this subject - Drawing Down the Moon. Get over himself and then fuck off. 🐈‍⬛

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Hail the Horned God!

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🤘😈🤘

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We were just there a few weeks ago. Absolutely beautiful and witchless. Lots of lovers though and picnickers and children playing in the park.

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Dear Jessica - as a 🧙 is there anything you can do about this horrible state of affairs like cast a spell or something? Signed, Hopeful in the Boondocks

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Plus the whole "Lovers of Jesus" (not Christ) thing is a local legend. JFC! 😉

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You're saying that it was NOT in fact ever called "Lovers of Jesus" or "Lovers of Christ" Park?

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...made up to lure the gullible to part with ther money, no doubt by some scammer!

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I think they (non Californians) might’ve been referring to Monterey Bay… Packing

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As in sardines.

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Correct and witches are there? Been there many times and the only witches are Repubs.

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Well...it's in Monterey COUNTY—so, kind of?

Maybe?

If you squinted real hard?

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Nearly every town on the water has a "lover's point" where horny teens go to neck. It never had "christ" in it. What gullible dumbasses!

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That’s what I always assumed about the name. Or a Lover’s Leap sort of thing. It is right on the edge of the Pacific.

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It’s always worth repeating - Mike Johnson is a dick - both in name and in temperament.

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A putz.

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My favorite new moniker for LDFF is "Bein' a dick Donald" which sounds like 'Benedict Arnold' who should be dethroned as our country's biggest traitor.

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🎯🎯🎯👍❤️

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Thank you for including the clip of maga mike refusing to comment on his dear leader’s less than Christian behavior. It deserved far more attention than it got, as did maga mike avoiding that pesky commandment about not lying for once instead of lying his deplorable head off.

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Jeff Tiedrich, keeping us sane one post at a time.

In the immortal words of Brian Wilson, “God only knows what I’d be without you.”

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Amen!

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founding

Amen!!

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Holy Mike Johnson is a huge bag full of hypocrisy, his moral compass madly spinning in all directions at once. And how does Donny Jr know there are all these New Yorkers giving Trump a thumbs up hidden under their coats (in our present 85+ degree temperatures? Trump as usual lies about how barricades have been put up around the courthouse to deny his cultists the opportunity to fawn over Dear Leader. In fact, there are no impediments for anyone walking by--if they can worm their way through the gaggle of Congressional sycophants gathered together to whine. And one more thing: George Conway reports that another court watcher brought in a thermometer to test Trump's constant whining about sitting in a freezer. The temperature in the courtroom was balmy.

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Thumbs up? Um, I think it's one of the other four digits.

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Good one! I'm annoyed that I can't use the thumbs up gesture any more. I guess I'll just have to make do with your version. Oh, well.

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If you want to call out Republican hypocrisy you'll just get further and further behind and never have time for anything else.

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Not sure why I am shocked. SHOCKED! That Eric Trump would deliberately post a video of Biden supporters and say they were Trump supporters. But there it is. And thank you Jeff for finding it! I sometimes forget the kids crime as much as the dad.

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Problem is, his dumb supporters buy it!

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They'd just say "oh, whatever..."

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It is easier than trying to fired up their disused brains, I suppose.

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1. The fake photos of Agent Orange crowds never fails to make me laugh. As did Sean Spicer’s insistence that Trump’s inauguration crowd was bigger than Obama’s

2. Witch Hunter has never been to Monterey. It’s a beautiful town with cute houses that are very small for the price they’re worth. Maybe he was turned into the eye of Newt Gingrich so we can excuse this lapse.

3. That video of Cokehead Jr was my morning guffaw. MAGAs aren’t shy about their support, or else why would they wear bright red hats? Someone hiding their hands is doing something they shouldn’t be doing in public.

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author

I did some googling. Lovers Point in Monterey used to be called Lovers of Jesus Point because it was part of a Methodist retreat camp. Wytchfinder Cao couldn't even get the name right

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His witching skills could used some fine tuning.

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Per City of Monterey, the name is a local legend.

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Monterey & Carmel are 2 of my favorite places in the world. Witches included!!

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I'd include Big Sur, 25 mi S of there. Stunning stretch of coastline.

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💯💯💯

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I'm in rural Virginia. More Hung Cao: Rural Virginians are again disrespected by GOP Senate candidate Hung Cao, who doubled down claiming that rural voters are just too inconvenient to bother with.

To contrast, Sen. Tim Kaine visited Tazewell and Abingdon just last week (wayyy down in the SW corner) to take questions from constituents regarding the Israel-Hamas conflict.

Cao: "I’ll sit here [behind the camera] all night if you want to, but for me to drive six and a half hours down to Abingdon or something like that and to stand there with four other dudes and to have 30 seconds to answer questions, it’s just ridonkulous, it’s just crazy."

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What a Cosmopolitan wannabe jerk. Maybe he thinks you are all too Pagan ?

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He called them and the area "podunk"

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Indeed he did call the Staunton News-Leader a podunk newspaper. The N-L is part of the USA Today Network. Per Wikipedia, the News Leader was founded in 1904 (with heritage dating to 1890), with circulation 6,146 Daily 6,721 Sunday (as of 2021). Not WaPo or the NYT, but an integral media source in the Shenandoah Valley.

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Podunk is not a vernacular term I am familiar with. I assume it’s derogatory.

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Yes, it means no-wheres-ville, off the map. Insignificant. Hardly the descriptor for Staunton VA or its newspaper. Staunton is a college town, an artsy town, a great foodie place, and its gem: https://americanshakespearecenter.com/

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Thanks. Such a beautiful theatre space ! What is it with individuals and their hatred of natural beauty and shared culture. I will never understand it.

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I feel for y’all in VA and in NC, my former state of where I was born and raised. truly, this is the first time I have heard of Cao. What a nightmare he is!

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The kind people

Have a wonderful dream

Donald trump on the guillotine

Because people like him

Make me so tired

When will he die

(With credit to Morrissey)

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Yeah, this column was all winners. The concealed carry thumbs up!

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I live an hour or so from Monterey. I will take a visit on my broom and report back.

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🧹🧹🧹

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🤣

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I wait all week for This Week In Stupid, sigh…but some day I hope you don’t have anything to write about other than an obituary.

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I wake up every morning wanting to hear that breaking news.

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Every morning!!

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If only there would be nothing to write about.

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Hilarious post!! We needed this!❤️

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Did we ever! I was starting to slide into a deep depression 🙄. I feel better now ✌️💙

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Welcome back! We need every one of us.

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True. The palm tree in the Bronx nearly rolling on the floor and so did the cultist to newt and back.

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