this week in stupid: February 1 edition
priest salutes it, Karoline refutes it, and so much more...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
monday: further adventures in heartlessness
after Donny Convict announced that he was freezing all federal grant money, Republicans like Georgia Rep. Rich McCormick fanned out all over the cable shows to explain why denying financial aid to children and elderly shut-ins is actually a good thing.
“how many people got their starts in fast food restaurants when they were kids, versus a blanket rule that gives all kids lunches in high schools who are capable of going out and getting a job, and doing something that makes them have value. thinking about the future, instead of thinking about how they’re going to sponge off the government when they don’t need to. we don’t give people value. we don’t give them the ability to dig themselves out when we penalize them for actually working and keep them on welfare. that’s what’s been the inner city problem for a very long time.”
okay, there we go. it only took 27 seconds for the racism to come out. to McCormick, this is an inner-city problem — and we all know who lives in the inner cities, right? why are we giving those people free shit?
fuck these fucking pull-yourself-up-by-your-own-boostraps fucks with their ‘I’m doing just fine, it’s not my problem if you’re not’ attitude.
I’m just going to leave this here.
tuesday: we don’t need no edumacation
America, meet your new White House Press Corps. Donny’s press office has been doling out credentials to various wingnut noise machine randos — people like Natalie Winters, the co-host of one-man leper colony Steve Bannon’s War Room podcast. that’s right, Rotting Stevie Three-Shirts now has eyes and ears in the White House press room.
look how proud Natalie is to show up for her first day of work.
notice anything weird about that tweet? maybe Natalie’s creative spelling of the word correspondent?
typos are not necessarily stupid. we all make them, all the time. what’s totally fucking stupid is not deleting that tweet and posting a correction. five days later, it’s still in her feed. journamolism at its finest.
wednesday: everything is just a troll now
here’s extreme right-wing Anglican priest Calvin Robinson. check out how this trash-bag ends his speech at an anti-abortion rally.
“this is the last stand for Christiandom. it’s make or break time. the whole of the old world is crumbling. every country in Europe is embracing death. America, as far as I can see, is the only country fighting for life. and that’s down to you guys. so god bless all of you, pleaase keep doing it. I hope that I can encourage you, and [does Nazi salute] my heart goes out to you. [audience laughs.]”
this is where we are now. right-wingers are sieg-heiling just to trigger the libs. because everyone raised a fuss when the Space Nazi did it, every attention-starved dipshit under the sun has to do it, too — and the audience is in on the so-called ‘joke.’ listen to them laugh. they think that ‘look at me, I’m a bad boy’ shit’s hysterical.
oh wait, did I describe Calvin Robinson as an Anglican priest? I’m sorry, I meant to say former Anglican priest — because you know who didn’t think Cal’s little joke was very funny? the Anglican Catholic Church. they took one look at Robinson’s sieg-heil stunt and defrocked his Nazi-adjacent ass, post-haste.
The ACC says it “warned” Robinson that “online trolling” is “incompatible with a priestly vocation and was told to desist.” That didn’t happen! “Clearly, he has not,” the statement concludes, “and as such, his license in this Church has been revoked. He is no longer serving as a priest in the ACC.”
fuck around, find out. isn’t that right, John Lennon?
thursday: not that kind of bible belt
could Republicans please stop waxing nostalgic about those halcyon days when daddy used to whip the living shit out of them? just listen to that cautionary tale for why you should never play football without a helmet, Terminally-Concussed Tommy Tuberville.
“we have an attention deficit problem in this country. you know, attention deficit, when you or I were growing up, our parents didn’t use a drug — they used a belt, and whipped our butt.”
add T-Tubes to the growing list of Stockholm-syndromed conservatives whose childhoods were apparently so spectacularly fucked up that years later, they still miss daddy’s daily dose of sweet, sweet violence. that roster includes roasted ball-sack aficionado Tucker Carlson, tinseltown has-been Mel Gibson, and misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk. did I miss anyone?
and no, getting the tar whaled out of you is not — by any stretch of the imagination —a cure for ADHD. what the fuck is wrong with you people?
friday: if the shoe fits
at her Friday White House press briefing, a reporter asked Karoline Leavitt if Donny’s obsession with DEI policies at the FAA might not be a tad bit y’know, racist.
Karoline’s response was a big indignant bowl of who? us? bigots? how dare you!
“when you’re flying with your loved ones, do you pray that your airplane lands safely and gets you to your destination or do you pray that the pilot has a certain skin color? I think we all know the answer.”
do we, Karoline? do we really ‘all know the answer’ to your snotty hypothetical? hey, let’s find out. let’s ask Charlie Kirk what he thinks about when he’s flying.
“I’m sorry. if I see a Black pilot, I’m going to be like, ‘boy, I hope he’s qualified.’”
well, okay then.
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
It’s right out there…blatant as hell. The racism (and misogyny) in this country is beyond shameful. And so is the “journamolism”. 😂😂
And then Elon breaking into a Federal database? Is anyone gonna do anything about that…or is anyone who can just gonna go break in and break shit and steal what they can without retribution??? I’m beyond freaked out.
Canadian here: While I groan and laugh at today's week in stupid, I am reminded that today is the day that the First Felon's tariffs hit my country, and my country will turn off that water faucet in retaliation.