71 Comments

I’m not a baker. But I think I’m going to file a hypothetical lawsuit and take it all the way up to SCOTUS. It will be as follows:

I am not a baker. Nor do I own a bakery. But if I WERE TO BECOME A BAKER, and DID OWN a bakery, and some trashy, low-life, AR-15-toting NRA member asked me to bake a cake for their son’s birthday party, could I tell them to get the fuck out of my hypothetical bakery?

Expand full comment

I have a pretty wide knowledge of mind-altering substances, both as an ex-addict and as an addiction treatment counselor. I have no idea of what combination of drugs one would have to take to achieve Jr.’s state of fucked-upedness. Truly spectacular.

Expand full comment

Highlight:

"they went over to twitter to whine about it, and of course the most tiresome gazillionaire in the galaxy had to give us his two cents (marked down from 44 billion dollars)"

Expand full comment

Can someone please put a stake in RFK Jr? We need to move on from this whakadoodle.

Expand full comment

Yeah, I dunno. Somehow I'm not rushing over to Threads with the Cambridge Analytica data-selling dude. While I would like a viable Twitter alternative - or tell myself I would - I'd like one not run by a billionaire prick mainly in it for the money which...ohshit...Fuckerberg also qualifies for!

Nah I'll just sit around on Substack and Discord and wait for someone who doesn't cozy up to authoritians every chance they get to start a viable alternative.

Expand full comment

Thanks Jeff for posting the totally off the hook Jr. At 71 I’m very familiar with folks on substances, but not familiar with children of the privileged doing coke, then appearing on a media platform to showcase how fucked up they are. This boy is headed towards serious health issues, a stroke or heart attack in the near future if he continues to hoover up at least an 8ball daily. Woo boy...how much does he share with his energized, plasticized “girlfriend”. BTW... is she still yelling “the best is yet to come” after every line? Inquiring minds want to know... Have a great weekend to all fellow travelers.

Expand full comment

Junior is just mad they found the baggie of blow before he did.

Expand full comment

I’ve never been on Facebook or Instagram, so I’m sure as shit not going on THREADS.

There’s got to be an alternative to two fascist billionaire’s platforms.

Also, the parents who gave their child that AR15 birthday cake should be arrested for child abuse.

Expand full comment

WHAT A WEEK. AMERICA IS GOING TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET.

Expand full comment

That Qrazy Qaren, A/K/A Chick Sporting a Back With a Crack, is a Feng Shui interior designer. I guess she gets feral when she's outdoors & looks like post pandemic they're still out in force. I've reached the point where I'll just let Twitter die & leave all SM behind but continue w/Substack since it's private & more personal. And how could I miss a Jeff free day to keep me going? Right now my biggest concern is the Brown Shirt Moms for Hitler invading schools all over. My kids are grown but I've got 3 grands & weren't we raised to prepare our kids for the world, not terrify & indoctrinate them? Sadly I probably won't live long enough to attend MAGA's funeral but at some point I just want peace, normalcy & sanity.

Expand full comment

I’ve been glad that I found you Jeff with a lot of other folks that are honest, funny, intelligent and amazing. But, alas, I was thrown off twitter a few years ago for making a stupid comment about MTG, “someone should smack her” for what MTG had said about someone else. This was before Musk took over and there were tons of people with large followings who expressed themselves frequently against twitter rules i.e. shitty orange clown and were allowed to continue on with impunity. In the end I’m glad that happened to me and I barely look at twitter since then - strangely (after being on it all the time) I haven’t missed it in the least. I think if/when it completely implodes people will find a landing place and they won’t miss it at all.

Expand full comment
founding

Rather than alter/update Godwin's Law, how about "Six Degrees of Joseph Goebbels" in which you see how many steps it takes to trace some current asshole back to der führer's favorite anti-semite.

Expand full comment

Jeff, thanks for the fresh allotment of wing-nuttery. So glad to be me when I see *them*.

Expand full comment

Sorry I don't have a screen shot of this, but last week, Gov. Kristi Noem filed once AGAIN to have fireworks at Mount Rushmore in 2024, and all the wingnuts came out to support it, because after all, she said, "We will keep fighting to host fireworks at Mount Rushmore and celebrate our freedoms.” Well, some of us pointed out that we are and have been in a major drought in South Dakota, especially West River, and the wing-nuttiest of them all said, "Yeah, bunch of libtards forgot that Mount Rushmore is made out of ROCK! And ROCKS DON'T BURN!!!"

Expand full comment

You delight me.

Expand full comment

Amazing that I missed most of the week right up to Thursday, but still managed to hear about 3/4 of this stuff. Wow. I either hang out with the right people, or the wrong ones!

;)

Expand full comment