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Abbi's avatar

I have no advice — sorry — only empathy because I am in the exact same place with one of my step-daughters. Honestly and for whatever it’s worth, I think I’m stuck because I really don’t care all that much.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

The tough part is the affective element; I keep thinking that something will change and that hope keeps me stuck.

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Abbi's avatar

I know that one, too, though not with her. Who knows, it might change one day with your siblings. But meanwhile — this just occurred to me and I haven’t thought it through — is it possible to be open to change if it ever happens without hoping for change?

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Nah. Probably a package. But I have reached that important stage where my own sense of self isn't bound up with the expectation that any change will happen. As Joan Didion noted, you play it as it lays.

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