“stop calling us weird,” whine the weirdest weirdos on the planet

fuck their feelings

in 2016, Republicans had a heartfelt message of unity for Democrats who were upset about losing the election: fuck your feelings.

are you sad because Crooked Hillary lost, they’d taunt. well, fuck your feelings.

are you in a panic because Dear Leader is going to Make America Great Again? fuck your feelings.

upset because your reproductive rights are going bye-bye? fuck your feelings.

and then they’d laugh and say oh what, did I trigger you?

which is why it’s hilarious that the fuck your feelings crowd is triggered as fuck right now over being called weird.

hey Republicans — you don’t want to be called weird? then stop being so weird.

I’m sorry, but wearing a fake bandage on your ear because Dear Leader wore a fake bandage on his ear is weird.

wearing an emotional support diaper in solidarity with the cult leader who shits himself all day long is super fucking weird.

what the in name of fuck is going on here?

is that … a Donald Trump sex doll? I don’t think I want to know. bro, what have you been doing with Donny’s mouth? eww. that’s not just weird, it’s super creepy.

know what else is super weird and super creepy? trying to grope the ass of the daughter you never stop talking about wanting to quote-unquote “date.”

humping the shit out of a flag is weird. Donny does it all the time. does he think about Ivanka while doing it?

roasting your balls is extra special weird.

Ronny Bobblehead DeSantis is so weird that even other Republicans are repulsed by him.

groping the crotch of a cardboard cutout of Dear Leader isn’t just weird, it’s deeply disturbing. get help, Marge. you need it.

this guy would definitely cry if you called him weird.

nothing weird about these dudes, right?

Cokey McSniffles Junior’s on-and-off-again girlfriend Kimberly Gargoyle has had more plastic injected into her than a Lego dinosaur. weird and bizarre.

in fact, all of the pneumatic women who hang around Donny’s vermin-infested Florida golf motel are weird and super creepy.

flushing $99 down the toilet so that you can “own” a set of jpegs of Dear Leader tarted up as a superhero is about as weird as it gets.

nothing weird about smooching a photo of the Space Nazi and then bragging about it, right?

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how we can tell that calling Republicans weird is the exactly right thing to do?

because this fucking guy says we shouldn’t be doing it.

Democrats Could Regret Calling Trump and His Supporters ‘Weird’

For a few days this last week I started to believe that Kamala Harris and the Democrats could come from behind and beat Donald Trump. But then I started to hear Democrats patting themselves on the back for coming up with a great new label for Trump Republicans. They are “weird.”

NY Times columnist Tom Friedman has made a career out of being wrong about every fucking thing.

twenty years ago, he churned out column after column about how the Iraq war could be won “in the next six months,” if only the Bush Administration, or the Iraqi people — or the voices in Tom’s own head — would heed his advice. he did it so often that “six months” became a national joke known as The Friedman Unit.

if Tom Friedman tells you that you’re doing it wrong, you should be feeling very good about your choices.

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last night’s White Dudes for Harris call was a raging success — even The Dude himself showed up!

over 150,000 white dudes joined the call and raised over four million dollars for Kamala’s campaign.

A “White Dudes for Harris” online fundraising and organizing rally raised more than $4 million for the presidential campaign of Vice President Kamala Harris on Monday night, with speakers who included would-be running mates, Hollywood actors, and labor leaders.

More than 150,000 joined the online stream for the event, which was broadcast on YouTube, blowing past the original target of 10,000 RSVPs set by organizers several days ago.

“I’m white, I’m a dude, and I’m here for Harris,” said actor Jeff Bridges, who played the uber-laid-back bowler and White Russian-drinking character “The Dude” in the Coen brothers movie “The Big Lebowski,” on the call.

“I’m excited, man!” Bridges said.

know who wasn’t excited, man? the Space Nazi. this emotionally-stunted man-baby was so upset by the news that he reacted in the most Space Nazi way possible, and suspended the not-twitter account of White Dudes for Harris.

why would the Space Nazi, who claims to be a quote-unquote “free speech absolutist,” ban the Dudes, despite their having broken no rules?

because the Space Nazi is scared right now. Kamalamentum is real, and Democrats are energized.

Republicans are all scared right now. scared and weird.

you know what? fuck their feelings.