Imagine an intersection. In the middle of the intersection, there is a crisp, clean, unmarked $100 bill. Coming equidistantly from four directions are Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Faerie, and a reasonable Republican. Who gets the money first?
You.
You do.
BECAUSE THE OTHER FOUR ARE ALL FIGMENTS OF YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION.
OK guys. I just checked the OED. Fairie and Fairy and fayri are neck and neck with quotations from 1330. There are also early versions: Faiery, ffairye, fary, fayrey, fayrye,fairye and feiri.
Same here. Jeffries would be a huge improvement over who the GOP has to offer and provide the strong leadership that we so desperately need. This is probably the most twisted and dysfunctional congress we've ever seen. It would only get worse under Scalise. He's a heel-clicking dipshit with the same idiotic MAGA values. Although it's a longshot, we can only hope that those 5 from the GOP will come to their senses and the rest of these deranged assholes get voted out in 2024.
Agreed. Jeffries would be a reasonable choice because he’ll listen to both sides and reach compromise. No one else can do that, certainly not Grand Dragon wannabe Scalise
What if 5 reasonable Rs voted “present”, no-showed, or Rs split their votes? Is the rule exactly 218 or is it a majority? I’m sure I knew, but my brain has been exploding since 2016 and pieces keep falling out!
My understanding is that it’s 217 and Scalise can only afford to lose 4. I’m not sure why -perhaps because he’ll vote for himself? Anyway, I’d like to know who the “reasonable” ones actually are.
Agreed, “reasonable” may have been a stretch. There are 18 from districts that voted for Biden, and it’d take 5 of them to be willing to risk being primaried from the right in hopes of retaining support from never-trumpers and independents.
Lol, apologies I wasn’t criticizing your choice of words, I just can’t wrap my head about any GOP who acts reasonable except the few that were given the boot.
No worries. “Reasonable” really is a misnomer. And truth be told, I don’t really expect any of them to be brave enough to risk being primaried. But an old woman can dream!
It really is hard to know what to call Republicans, other than MAGA/GQP or Cowards? It truly is a mess, and it all comes back to accountability. For one brief nano-second following January 6th....can't even be counted in Scaramucci's, it looked as if both McCarthy and McConnell would lay the coup where it belonged, then we all know what happened. Simply speaking, if those aiders and abettors in the Peoples' House had been held accountable, instead of re-elected, the country would be in a much better place. Until some sort of accountability takes place, we'll be trying to decide who MAY be the least be repugnant of the GQP/MAGA and Cowards, and what type of label to assign!
I think most of the readers of Jeff's Substack would root for Hakeem Jeffries, but I am not going to wish for something I cannot have. It is just too frustrating. If I am going to wish for things that I cannot have I would rather wish that all Republicans be indicted for crimes, which I am sure they have all committed, and then by their own rules not be allowed in the House anymore. And while they are at it, take Sen. Bob Menendez too.
As always just what I need - laughing despite all the crap these days. Therefore very grateful. Has it occurred to others than myself that Scalise managed to escape death without any noticeable epiphany or insight?? Flannery O’Conner must have been thinking along these lines in A Good Man Is Hard To Find (though I could have done with much less Catholic fervor). No moment of clarity for these idiots, too steeped in prejudice, racism and antisemitism, the bastards.
It seems he's cheated death twice, if he really is recovering optimistically from blood cancer. How disgusting is it that the lesser high-level evil of two is Scalise. But getting the votes for either of them seems an tall order and then what? Jeffries?
I think My cat would be better than any Republican. (And she can’t even seem to catch the mouse in the kitchen who’s been out-foxing every mousetrap known to man - and apparently eating her cat treats)
I have a nicer option to the mouse at my house (digressing here). Suddenly my feral was eating two bowls of cat food every night. Then a couple of weeks later I saw her. No, still slender kitty. Then I saw the possums.
Do they lumber? I saw the little one playing in my courtyard a couple of times before I realized what he was and before he realized I live here and am the one providing the food. He was running to my back house and at first I thought he was a broken-down kitten. Didn't look like lumbering. When he was playing, he kind of looked like a little robot animated creature.
I had 2 mice and ordered 2 humain simple no kill traps that were cheap.
We put peanut butter inside and caught 1 within 10 minutes and 2 was about 10 minutes later. We let them fill their tummies and took them to the field and released them. They ran like hell 😆
Years ago I conspired with our son to humanely catch and release the mouse that was in his room without dad finding out (think wrath of khan) so we did a looney tunes stick, string shoe box contraption with a piece of cheese. It worked and we carefully slid cardboard under it and took the box into the garden. Last we saw of Edgar (yes we named him) he was getting a hernia trying to drag that boulder of cheese into the irises.
Our current mouse ninja has resisted peanut butter and - oh my goddess - bacon.
Compared to the absolute horror we are watching in Israel this morning, this seems like a very poor joke being played out in our country. Are there not enough people in the fucking GOP who can see the photos of burned babies and not feel the need to climb out of their sewer seats and do something reasonable like vote for Hakeem Jeffries and get this country back on track? Humanity needs to triumph over this clusterfuck by standing up to these fascist racist pukes. Today. Grow up and unleash their nutsacks. Or remove white nutsacks altogether and vote for a woman democrat who will not pander to the minority of criminal ass kissing orange faces who are deep in diaper doo doo.
Here’s another example of how “pro life” isn’t pro life at all. Babies are being killed in Israel while Tubberville is strangling our military’s ability to help over abortion rights. I hope he rots from the inside out
Jeff! A white supremacist makes perfect sense for the GOP. The leading GOP choice for President has a long proud history of denying housing to people of color (see article below).
And good luck trying to find a reasonable member of the GOP in Congress. Adam and Liz left, Mitt is on his farewell tour, and Eisenhower is unavailable.
At this point I’m surprised they haven’t tried to resurrect Steve King’s career. Scalise and King could sing “White Christmas” together while burning down the House (with apologies to David Byrne and Talking Heads).
Wisconsin here, Ron Johnson is our embarrassment along with our gerrymandered state but Thankfully we have a Dem governor to veto all of the Pubes insane laws they want passed.
There aren’t five reasonable Republicans willing to stick their necks out for the good of the country, so eight Rs in the most extreme MAGA wing have the power to control. It’s the tail wagging the dog, but as the Rs would be first to point out, they don’t have a tail.
Why do I get the feeling that the next 14 to 16 months are going to be diffiCULT to navigate? Thanks for all you do, Jeff. It helps maintain my sanity in the face of all the insanity sanctioned by the Orange Mussolini and his followers. BTW, how can we speed up the DoJ so we can get some justice and have the pleasure of never hearing the idiotic voice of one DJT ever again? Anyone?
I know this isn’t the point- But what the hell is going on with Scalise’s hair?! Is it bleached and he swam in a chlorinated pool and it turned neon green? How does no one tell him he looks like a dipshit with that hair?! They really are living in an alternate reality.
He's been undergoing treatment for cancer, so I don't know that the condition of his hair is really any more under his control than the House would be if he actually becomes Speaker.
Very astute observation. Feeling bad about making fun of his hair while he’s undergoing chemo. Not a time to chide someone about their hair. Thanks for pointing that out.
Pretty much covered all that shit. They are hell bent on destroying our democracy. What topped my morning was briefly hearing tRump , I must agree he gave away our secrets. With this being said the republican establishment is an enemy to our democracy.
There is a silver lining though. NOT voting for Jordan means the Rs are no longer truly taking orders from what's-his-name. He endorsed Gym, and we see what that made happen.
Scalise is every bit as bad as the worst of them.
(As a side note, Kentuckians electing someone as stupid about the way America makes friends and keeps enemies at bay, should cause the idiots in charge to take a much closer look at their "education" system. They won't, but it should.)
I have a cunning plan! the congress critters LOVE their junkets, and the MAGAts a) love Russia and b) deny climate change is a thing, so we send them to Russia on a junket to see Siberia up close and personal.
No, wait, it gets better! the permafrost is melting and as it does, there are yuge methane bubbles that are also thawing, and here and there they just spontaneously explode and leave massive craters! I'd vote for that!
PS -- maybe they'd take a few MAGAts from the Senate along, too...
Imagine an intersection. In the middle of the intersection, there is a crisp, clean, unmarked $100 bill. Coming equidistantly from four directions are Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Faerie, and a reasonable Republican. Who gets the money first?
You.
You do.
BECAUSE THE OTHER FOUR ARE ALL FIGMENTS OF YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION.
That will be all for today, class.
OK guys. I just checked the OED. Fairie and Fairy and fayri are neck and neck with quotations from 1330. There are also early versions: Faiery, ffairye, fary, fayrey, fayrye,fairye and feiri.
History gives us lots of options.
Tooth fairy?
I've seen at least three spellings of faerie. I stick with the one I like.
Yours is the Gaelic spelling.
yep and I always loved the Gaelic spelling --it's pretty.
Good for you! Similarly, I always spell the color as GREY, just because it looks fancier.
Same!
me too.
That's a new one on me... peace.
I believe it's the Gaelic/Scottish derivation. Which would be to say the original.
Yep. Gaelic/Scottish/Irish spelling indicating someone from the realm of the Fae folk.
They have Leprechauns too.
...and so much faerier than fairy.
More fairer than faerie? I'll make sure Rob Zombie doesn't sue.
Lol! 😂😂
🤓🤓🤓
Good one!!
I’ve been rooting for a Jeffries speakership for some time now. It’s not so far fetched in theory but in practice, Mission: Impossible.
Same here. Jeffries would be a huge improvement over who the GOP has to offer and provide the strong leadership that we so desperately need. This is probably the most twisted and dysfunctional congress we've ever seen. It would only get worse under Scalise. He's a heel-clicking dipshit with the same idiotic MAGA values. Although it's a longshot, we can only hope that those 5 from the GOP will come to their senses and the rest of these deranged assholes get voted out in 2024.
Agreed. Jeffries would be a reasonable choice because he’ll listen to both sides and reach compromise. No one else can do that, certainly not Grand Dragon wannabe Scalise
What if 5 reasonable Rs voted “present”, no-showed, or Rs split their votes? Is the rule exactly 218 or is it a majority? I’m sure I knew, but my brain has been exploding since 2016 and pieces keep falling out!
My understanding is that it’s 217 and Scalise can only afford to lose 4. I’m not sure why -perhaps because he’ll vote for himself? Anyway, I’d like to know who the “reasonable” ones actually are.
Agreed, “reasonable” may have been a stretch. There are 18 from districts that voted for Biden, and it’d take 5 of them to be willing to risk being primaried from the right in hopes of retaining support from never-trumpers and independents.
Lol, apologies I wasn’t criticizing your choice of words, I just can’t wrap my head about any GOP who acts reasonable except the few that were given the boot.
No worries. “Reasonable” really is a misnomer. And truth be told, I don’t really expect any of them to be brave enough to risk being primaried. But an old woman can dream!
This old lady dreams too.
There are probably enough reasonable ones but are there any with the guts to do it? Only if there is a secret ballot.
It really is hard to know what to call Republicans, other than MAGA/GQP or Cowards? It truly is a mess, and it all comes back to accountability. For one brief nano-second following January 6th....can't even be counted in Scaramucci's, it looked as if both McCarthy and McConnell would lay the coup where it belonged, then we all know what happened. Simply speaking, if those aiders and abettors in the Peoples' House had been held accountable, instead of re-elected, the country would be in a much better place. Until some sort of accountability takes place, we'll be trying to decide who MAY be the least be repugnant of the GQP/MAGA and Cowards, and what type of label to assign!
"Putin's Army"
I hear you there. My brain is just in pieces laying on the ground! 2016 did me in and then it became way worse!!!
I think most of the readers of Jeff's Substack would root for Hakeem Jeffries, but I am not going to wish for something I cannot have. It is just too frustrating. If I am going to wish for things that I cannot have I would rather wish that all Republicans be indicted for crimes, which I am sure they have all committed, and then by their own rules not be allowed in the House anymore. And while they are at it, take Sen. Bob Menendez too.
I totally agree with your wish.
2024
Jeffries for speaker would be awesome! Of course republicans would never stand for anything that was of the norm sadly! I hate them!
me too, with a fierce passion!
As always just what I need - laughing despite all the crap these days. Therefore very grateful. Has it occurred to others than myself that Scalise managed to escape death without any noticeable epiphany or insight?? Flannery O’Conner must have been thinking along these lines in A Good Man Is Hard To Find (though I could have done with much less Catholic fervor). No moment of clarity for these idiots, too steeped in prejudice, racism and antisemitism, the bastards.
I think it would require the Queen of Southern Gothic to properly chronicle what's going on in the House right now.
It seems he's cheated death twice, if he really is recovering optimistically from blood cancer. How disgusting is it that the lesser high-level evil of two is Scalise. But getting the votes for either of them seems an tall order and then what? Jeffries?
I think My cat would be better than any Republican. (And she can’t even seem to catch the mouse in the kitchen who’s been out-foxing every mousetrap known to man - and apparently eating her cat treats)
I have a nicer option to the mouse at my house (digressing here). Suddenly my feral was eating two bowls of cat food every night. Then a couple of weeks later I saw her. No, still slender kitty. Then I saw the possums.
...lumbering possums?
Do they lumber? I saw the little one playing in my courtyard a couple of times before I realized what he was and before he realized I live here and am the one providing the food. He was running to my back house and at first I thought he was a broken-down kitten. Didn't look like lumbering. When he was playing, he kind of looked like a little robot animated creature.
Laughing my ass off 🤣
🤣😂🤣
I had 2 mice and ordered 2 humain simple no kill traps that were cheap.
We put peanut butter inside and caught 1 within 10 minutes and 2 was about 10 minutes later. We let them fill their tummies and took them to the field and released them. They ran like hell 😆
Years ago I conspired with our son to humanely catch and release the mouse that was in his room without dad finding out (think wrath of khan) so we did a looney tunes stick, string shoe box contraption with a piece of cheese. It worked and we carefully slid cardboard under it and took the box into the garden. Last we saw of Edgar (yes we named him) he was getting a hernia trying to drag that boulder of cheese into the irises.
Our current mouse ninja has resisted peanut butter and - oh my goddess - bacon.
Compared to the absolute horror we are watching in Israel this morning, this seems like a very poor joke being played out in our country. Are there not enough people in the fucking GOP who can see the photos of burned babies and not feel the need to climb out of their sewer seats and do something reasonable like vote for Hakeem Jeffries and get this country back on track? Humanity needs to triumph over this clusterfuck by standing up to these fascist racist pukes. Today. Grow up and unleash their nutsacks. Or remove white nutsacks altogether and vote for a woman democrat who will not pander to the minority of criminal ass kissing orange faces who are deep in diaper doo doo.
I know I’m screaming into the abyss. So be it.
Totally agree, all we need is 5 fucking republicans.
Here’s another example of how “pro life” isn’t pro life at all. Babies are being killed in Israel while Tubberville is strangling our military’s ability to help over abortion rights. I hope he rots from the inside out
I know right--so much for his pro-life stance.
They want this--the chaos agents want to weaken us and our allies--to what purpose is something that keeps me up at night.
Jeff! A white supremacist makes perfect sense for the GOP. The leading GOP choice for President has a long proud history of denying housing to people of color (see article below).
And good luck trying to find a reasonable member of the GOP in Congress. Adam and Liz left, Mitt is on his farewell tour, and Eisenhower is unavailable.
At this point I’m surprised they haven’t tried to resurrect Steve King’s career. Scalise and King could sing “White Christmas” together while burning down the House (with apologies to David Byrne and Talking Heads).
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/28/us/politics/donald-trump-housing-race.html
Five Good Republicans, boy that’s an oxymoron. Nailed it again Jeff!
Can these people please stop giving me more and more reasons to be embarrassed of my home state, Louisiana?!
Since I'm from Indiana, I understand your pain. Our state slogan: "Indiana - in the news for all the wrong reasons".
Sorry, Texas just said, "hold my Lone Star".
Wisconsin here, Ron Johnson is our embarrassment along with our gerrymandered state but Thankfully we have a Dem governor to veto all of the Pubes insane laws they want passed.
Try being a liberal Texan like myself.
Another former resident of Louisiana here. And yes, tired of the shittiness coming out of our home state.
Me, too. And he's better than Jordan. But yuck.
Colorado. Boobert. Not to forget Tina Peters.
GA here--I get it.
There aren’t five reasonable Republicans willing to stick their necks out for the good of the country, so eight Rs in the most extreme MAGA wing have the power to control. It’s the tail wagging the dog, but as the Rs would be first to point out, they don’t have a tail.
What they have is a great big orange ASS.
Why do I get the feeling that the next 14 to 16 months are going to be diffiCULT to navigate? Thanks for all you do, Jeff. It helps maintain my sanity in the face of all the insanity sanctioned by the Orange Mussolini and his followers. BTW, how can we speed up the DoJ so we can get some justice and have the pleasure of never hearing the idiotic voice of one DJT ever again? Anyone?
Hakeem Jeffries is the best choice for Speaker
Which is why Rethuglicans are bound determined to not let it be.
I expect that this shit show in the House is going to continue for a while. This is part of the Putin, Iran and MAGA chaos strategy.
I know this isn’t the point- But what the hell is going on with Scalise’s hair?! Is it bleached and he swam in a chlorinated pool and it turned neon green? How does no one tell him he looks like a dipshit with that hair?! They really are living in an alternate reality.
He's been undergoing treatment for cancer, so I don't know that the condition of his hair is really any more under his control than the House would be if he actually becomes Speaker.
Very astute observation. Feeling bad about making fun of his hair while he’s undergoing chemo. Not a time to chide someone about their hair. Thanks for pointing that out.
me too
Someone needs to alert Alex Jones. Scalise is one of the lizard people!!
Lizard 🦎 people! You can’t make this shit up. Truth is way stranger than fiction!!
Yes it is!
Lol, that made me laugh 😉, wth is going on with his hair?
Maybe he's going to the Mango Mussolini's hairdresser?
Pretty much covered all that shit. They are hell bent on destroying our democracy. What topped my morning was briefly hearing tRump , I must agree he gave away our secrets. With this being said the republican establishment is an enemy to our democracy.
There is a silver lining though. NOT voting for Jordan means the Rs are no longer truly taking orders from what's-his-name. He endorsed Gym, and we see what that made happen.
Scalise is every bit as bad as the worst of them.
(As a side note, Kentuckians electing someone as stupid about the way America makes friends and keeps enemies at bay, should cause the idiots in charge to take a much closer look at their "education" system. They won't, but it should.)
I just want a human in there. Not an alien narcissist, schlong stroking, idiot who's head is so far up their ass it's coming out their mouth
I like you.
"Lick" would have been a hilarious typo there.
!!
Eww.
I have a cunning plan! the congress critters LOVE their junkets, and the MAGAts a) love Russia and b) deny climate change is a thing, so we send them to Russia on a junket to see Siberia up close and personal.
No, wait, it gets better! the permafrost is melting and as it does, there are yuge methane bubbles that are also thawing, and here and there they just spontaneously explode and leave massive craters! I'd vote for that!
PS -- maybe they'd take a few MAGAts from the Senate along, too...
Do I hear notes of Black Adder??
well, Baldrick anyway. Although I guess it might have taken Blackadder himself to come up with humongous exploding methane bubbles!
I heard them both. Love them both.