333 Comments
User's avatar
Openly Fae's avatar

Thank Flying Spaghetti Monster that Republicans always decide to screw women over in election years.

You festering ferret-fuckers.

Mandy Kilpatrick's avatar

The Flying Spaghetti Monster isn't even needed. I went through a tough time in my life, and me, a Democrat got to know it pretty well. And the New Testament is when Jesus shows up, and NONE of this is in there. We need a powerful Democratic Theologian, someone like Jim Wallis from Sojourners, who can argue these nuts on their own turf. This is not a different interpretation, this is LYING.

Those right wing nut "Pastors" are lying their asses off, according to the words of Jesus Christ. They want this stuff to be in there, and they are faking it.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Jimmy Carter if he wasn't so sick, he is the real deal.

Mandy Kilpatrick's avatar

Yes, I really like them and their website.

After 9/11 I met Muslims who were so upset at the radicals and fringe crazies, and that's how I feel too about those kind of people in Christianity. They are promoting and condoning horrific things. Little girls, and women, having babies from rape and incest. Mothers dying for no reason - none! Encouraging the slandering and murder of Trans, and other LGBTQ people. Encouraging racism, and the hatred and exclusion of "others". All these actions opposite of love. It's such a horror show. Thank you for the website address, it will help me calm down.

YES to **Separation of Church and State**

Susan Niemann's avatar

OOOOHHHHH...Festering Ferret-fuckers. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂☠️☠️

Carol Jacobson's avatar

OMG!! I think I aspirated my cereal laughing!!

Openly Fae's avatar

It's vitally important to have aspirations!

Mary's avatar

Alliteration is also great 👍

Openly Fae's avatar

I have a few fans for exactly that reason. I try to trick it in where I can.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Who knew that eating cereal was aspirational?

Laura Who's avatar

Love this!! Do they have their colander hats???

Steve B's avatar

They should, but I think that's a Pastafarian thing. Mine is a dark blue enamel, but I hardly ever wear it, as it's so heavy -- just on Wednesdays for Prince Spaghetti Day services.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Ah, that is what "Bronzo the Malignant" has on his head!

User's avatar
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Feb 25, 2024
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Lairbo's avatar

Isn't ferret fucking still legal in Alabama?

Openly Fae's avatar

Tuberville may have married one!

Al Ross III's avatar

By Gosh I think he is a child of two or more ferret fuckers in fact!

Bob Bowden's avatar

Not only is it legal, but the post-fuck ferret will be declared a human baby.

Openly Fae's avatar

So will Matt Gaetz date it?

Bob Bowden's avatar

Only if it hasn’t reached the Ferret age of consent.

Openly Fae's avatar

I wonder if he'll go to Alabama to fuck a ferret embryo.

Al Ross III's avatar

Yes of course but he will pay the ferret just for the privilege!

Cats 🐈🐈‍⬛'s avatar

Doesn’t Tubby like actually live in Florida? I would guess ferret fucking is probably legal there given who is the ruling party. 🤣🤣🤣

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Along with sexing your meth-gator, I'm sure Floriduh-Man knows no species boundries.

PJ Schuster's avatar

Actually, there are only 2 states that have not made sexual abuse of an animal a felony; my state NM, & either VA or WV (I forget)

We lobbied our legislators last year to try to get a bill passed making it a felony, but nope. Too many redneck farmer/ranchers here.

PJ Schuster's avatar

After I posted this I saw Vickie’s link to the article that says the bill did pass!! Yay

Sooz Hall's avatar

WTAF, even if New Mexico (the Mexico where you don’t need a US passport 😈) did finally pass the legislation?!

meryl selig's avatar

Ferrets next up after the uncles and pastors

User's avatar
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Feb 25, 2024
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PJ Schuster's avatar

Well, thank you Vickie, I guess our lobbying effort worked after all. The last I heard my rep was grumbling

“We already have a law against cruelty to animals, shouldn’t that take care of this?”

Linda Weide's avatar

Try the treacherous treasonous traitors for favoring furtive FSB fascist's fraud!

User's avatar
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Feb 25, 2024Edited
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Sharon C Storm's avatar

You got my mouth all tangled up trying to say that aloud! 🤣😂

SPW's avatar

Tang tungled. 🤣🤣

Kay-El's avatar

Tuberville doesn’t know shit from shinola. I saw another interview where he said he didn’t know what was in the bill. Fucknut doesn’t know the difference between a court ruling and legislation.

Openly Fae's avatar

Has he, at any point in his life, done anything right? I can't find any evidence...

Kay-El's avatar

Truly he’s an utter moron, so doubtful.

meryl selig's avatar

Perfect representative for his state

User's avatar
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Feb 25, 2024
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Barb Z.'s avatar

I'm just happy to see a couple reporters doing their job in their interview with Tuberville.

Could it start a trend?

Richard Von Busack's avatar

And it’s your own state, Cletus!

Mark L's avatar

How many more Republicans are similar to Tommy Turnip?

Kay-El's avatar

Too damn many, some hide it better though

Charlie Austin's avatar

He doesn't know the difference between his nose and his dick.

Openly Fae's avatar

Being fair, I'd wager they're about the same size.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

His ears are bigger than both.😊

Charlie Austin's avatar

You're right, seeing that Tubes is a dick nose.

Rick Calegari's avatar

As reported in the past, he couldn't even name the 3 branches of government. The moronic Trump yes man who makes a box of rocks look as if it has an IQ, probably doesn't have a clue what IVF is or what it stands for. As far as puppet Tommy goes, like his felonious boss and mentor, Ignorant Vile Fuck fits the bill. His DNA should some day be donated to CRISPR or Editas for a complete analysis.

Cats 🐈🐈‍⬛'s avatar

Tubbyville doesn’t know the difference between living in Florida and Alabama, you know, the state he is alleged to represent…yeah right.

User's avatar
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Feb 25, 2024
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PJ Schuster's avatar

I guess I’m not sure which awful Texan you’re referring to here; Cruz, Paxton?

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Feb 25, 2024
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Kay-El's avatar

I’m 100% sure he didn’t have a clue what it meant

Dagmar Marshall's avatar

No surprise there, the ignorance of these clowns is astounding. But then, this is the abortion “after” birth crowd after all🤦‍♀️

Kay-El's avatar

Yeah, I’ll never figure out how they came up with that stupidity.

Cathy Carrozza's avatar

Also old Tommy gave the 2025 plan away when he called children a commodity!! Child labor?? Who the hell voted for this guy??

Susan Keefer's avatar

Fox’s John Robert’s went on a tirade about IVF and agreeing with the Alabama Supreme Court, but here’s the thing, Roberts and his wife used IVF to have their child. There were a number of Republicans who said the same thing and were caught being hypocrites.

Republicans; they are all Tubervilles.

Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

John Roberts is shocking in his desire to follow and not think.

Mary Brock's avatar

Canadian here: John Roberts was J.D. Roberts, DJ for Much Music on Canadian TV in 1979. I remember him and I thought he was a pretty boy idiot.

Susan Keefer's avatar

When John Roberts worked for CNN, he received the Edward R. Murrow Award.

I’m sure Mr. Murrow is turning in his grave.

Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Ice cream cone to forehead here. 🙄

User's avatar
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Feb 25, 2024
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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Talking about Fox BS reporter. Worked for ABC in the past. But SCROTUS guy sucks mostly, too!

steve robertshaw's avatar

Marie. I think they're talking about two different John Roberts!

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Feb 25, 2024
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Sheila D's avatar

No, no, no--it is not the Chief Justice of SCOTUS! Pay attention to the post you are responding to!

Marie Martin's avatar

One “no” will do. Sounds like a knuckle rapping nun. PAY ATTENTION!! ??

I made a mistake. You know …

A m i s t a k e.

Deborah T's avatar

I like “Tuberville” as an adjective! “He’s such a tuberville!”

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Sorry that Canada sent you its worst TV News journalist/reporter/anchor.

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Cruz was more of a happenstance birth when his parents moved to Calgary so his Cuban dad could work in the oil industry. Roberts was born and raised and worked in Canada before making his exit to the US.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

It's just too bad his mom was an US citizen though, it meant we always had to take him. You are well versed in Cruz's history, much respect to you on doing your homework. (I'm married to a Canadian, so I had to be sponsored in Canada, as well as sponsoring him here. I couldn't help noticing the contrast in paperwork, Canada's had many options like: "Same sex partner, common-law" status and other options, whereas when I sponsored him here the only option was: "Married."

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Yes, the US immigration department will not allow non traditional married couples to immigrate. Canada is a much more open and tolerant country vis-a-vis individual choices in affairs of the heart.

Charlie Austin's avatar

We need to ram their own bullshit up their asses. It's somewhat refreshing to see the MSM call them out. At least it gets them off of their "Biden old" tropes. The GQP is committing electoral suicide. LET THEM!!

Karla's avatar

Yes! Let them. It’s only going to get worse for them between now and November because they can’t stop digging the hole they’re in.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

To quote the video game Mortal Combat: "Finish Him!"

EFS's avatar

Hey, Nikki! When a law exists that says embryos are children and entitled to full rights under the law, EVERYONE has to follow that law, no matter what they actually believe. What they think becomes irrelevant in real life. I hope that you and your ilk are left staring at your open palms on November 6th, wondering what just happened.

She Said It's avatar

So, does this mean that people in Alabama that have frozen embryos can now claim them as dependents on their taxes?

Sheila D's avatar

Can they inherit their parents' estates? Can they be disinherited? If their "parents" die, is a guardian appointed? If there is one live child and three embryos--does the living child inherit just 1/4 of the parents' estate?

She Said It's avatar

I'm getting the nagging feeling that the he-man woman haters club of Alabama didn't think this thing all the way through. When even OrangeStinky disavows you, you fucked up big time.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

The judge is a fundamentalist and a Dominionist, they are total fanatics.

Joey Jobaa's avatar

And child support from the sperm donor

PJ Schuster's avatar

They damned sure should, starting with their 2023 tax returns, & if they feel especially energetic, file amended returns for every yr since those embryos were made. I’ll bet that’d make the govt sit up & take notice!

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Schadenfreude Sunday to the max for me! Rs should wallow in their own hot mess

Mark L's avatar

The word you were looking for is SHIT

Wallow in their own SHIT.

Like Tommy SHIT for Brains TUBERville

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

I did think of other more “expressive” phrases too🤬😝

Kristy Kanen's avatar

BIGLY, SHITLY

SCHADENFREUDE

MountainBoyMike's avatar

"Tuberville-in-the-headlights look"....what a great moment, and kudos to the woman reporter who wouldn't let that ignorant POS off the hook until he finally fucked his own self in the ass....this insanity is gonna be fascinating to watch going forward as more republiKKKan states seek to ram jesus up our collective asses and vote in laws that will ultimately completely fuck them this November!...that's if the Ds stop this "when they go low, we go high" bullshit and take off the gloves and fight them at their level - in the gutter!!

Carol's avatar

We need to keep pounding and pounding this. Yeah, they got their “talking points” out (though evidently not soon enough), but regardless of what they’re saying in the moment, further restrictions ARE the direction they want to head, and what they will absolutely do if elected. Look at the weird legislation being proposed in red states around IVF and abortion. We can’t let citizens forget that this is the plan!

Catherine's avatar

Exactly, like the fact that they want to start eliminating birth control. And the other side will be like " oh they won't go that far" , but FUCK YES THEY WILL and it enrages me that these religious fascist extremists are foisting their rules to me! And all other women. They are working on eliminating plan b. It also makes me so mad that now potential OB/GYN DRs are not going to want to go into the field, esp in red states, and others are leaving the field or retiring early. How can any female vote red? Red states will have inadequate OB/GYN care. I'm mystified and I just hope the religious extremist politicians EAT A BIG HELPING OF SHIT this election!

meryl selig's avatar

MAGA has different rules for fetuses and actual children. White kids get a shot at a decent life; black and brown kids are cut off after birth…..

Sandy B in NorCal's avatar

Except when the white kids are poor. No help for them either.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Tubberville, “well that’s another conversation” I tell ya Tommy, you’re a fucking ignorant individual and to prove it just keep talking.. yeah that’s the different conversation I’d like to have with this guy who got hit in the head too many times playing football, cannot speak honestly and is just an all around piece of shit 💩 But don’t get me started, it’s too early for this old guy… Best to you Jeff and all fellow travelers.

User's avatar
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Feb 25, 2024
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Charlotte Thompson's avatar

I learned something new, Donna.

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Feb 26, 2024
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Charlotte Thompson's avatar

Sounds like you put him in his place. Good for you!

Kay-El's avatar

Alabama elects their judges. What is elected can be unelected

Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

All 9 supremes in Alabama are Gop. All 9 voted for this measure. Unanimous decision. Vote out the religious zealots.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Can we talk Alabama into seceding again?

Chet Brandt's avatar

Take South Carolina, Texass with Alabama down the seceding road to “independence.” See how that works out with no federal dollars coming in…..

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Looking back, we should have allowed the South to secede after the Civil War. Think of the lesser problems we'd have now. It would be a 3rd world country at our border, but couldn't be any more trouble than they are now.

meryl selig's avatar

Thanks Chet!! Let them see how well they do without redistributed $$$ they came from BLUE states

Chet Brandt's avatar

And the red states don’t appreciate shit! The chips act, the infrastructure act, etc. ALL benefit RED states! And those folks appreciate nothing with their elected officials ( I use that term loosely) taking the credit even though NONE of them voted for these bills!! These two -faced shitheads make me sick. The $$$, the assemblage of these bills and the push to pass them come from BLUE states to benefit ALL Americans.

counterlife's avatar

Electing judges is a terrible idea. And Alabama has proven it yet again.

I'll bet SCOTUS is already working on lame ass excuses to deny certiorari. It may be pretty easy, since it would be an appeal to SCOTUS from a state supreme court decision interpreting a state law. State's rights and all that.

They will let the Alabama decision stand, because that's what the SCOTUS christofascist cultists think is correct, but they won't get their holy fingerprints on it.

Kay-El's avatar

Agreed. The GOP legislature are tripping over themselves to enact an IVF protection statute. If states had an informed populace, electing judges would be acceptable. I think it’s been shown that a huge chunk skip over judges on the ballot. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to look up their bios and decisions. I know there’s a “did my research” joke in here somewhere.

Sharon Horton's avatar

There are some serious resources out there to help answer those questions:

bluevoterguide.org

VOTE411.org (nonpartisan, League of Women Voters, doesn't go live until close to an election)

Jessica Cravens writes "Chop Wood, Carry Water" on substack and gives a ton of contact info for participating in elections.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

If you don't elect them, then they are appointed. How's that working out for the SC?

Still getting morons appointed by elected officials. Need term limits and age limits. No one needs to be sitting on a court for life. At least with term limits, there might be some relief down the road and ability to get rid of some of these judges.

Scott Bernstein's avatar

It sure feels like we're not getting out of this episode of the Twilight Zone........

Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

The GOP has lost control. The religious zealots (maga) are giving them the middle finger and laughing in their faces. Good thing this is all coming out before November. It's very clarifying

Scott Bernstein's avatar

The caveat to everything is, "yeah, it's great........as long as actual human beings get out and vote in November."

Irene warsaw's avatar

I am terrified . How can citizens be so stupid 😢😢😢😢💔💔💔

MountainBoyMike's avatar

well, decades of under funding and attacking public education would be my first guess as to how citizens can be so stupid...add the lying and brain washing and gas lighting of right wing media, and here are, in Stupidasfuckville, aka, 'Murica

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

and removing Civics, and Government classes as well, and the biggie teaching Critical thinking.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

If the average IQ is 100, by definition half of us are below average. Yet somehow life goes on!

Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

These are religious zealots who have been hiding behind the GOP, many of whom have been too clueless to realize that. Americans do not want to be ruled over by a bunch of fake moralists. Vote, ignore clickbait, tell anyone and everyone how out of touch with reality this American Taliban is.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

I hope all of you women out there are getting measured for your burqas if Trump wins. They really are the Taliban.

Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

There is a great meme out there a pic of the Taliban in their Toyota trucks with big giant flags. Below that is a pic of magats in F150 pickups with giant confederate flags. "Same Shit. Different Assholes". Perfect.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

That's why they hate each other, too much competition.

Carol Jacobson's avatar

Malleable minds in a cult will believe whatever bullshit it shoved to them.

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Feb 25, 2024
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Marie Martin's avatar

THAT, in a nutshell, is what’s bothering me. More than frump. More than any ONE of the foam-flecked idiot monsters who’s managed to grab the spotlight. When this batch dies off, there will be replacements for ignorant people to line up behind with their list of resentful laments. I believe that the nation continues to “enjoy” 🙄 an average 8th grade reading level. And to think that graphic novel sales are on the rise while libraries and school systems in way too many places are striving to get “nasty” books like “Mockingbird” removed!

Mother of god. 🫣

Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Many of the women who are going to have their maternal healthcare regulated by the police state are not old enough to have voted yet. I personally think they will vote the police state out of their most personal family decisions.

Openly Fae's avatar

Wait 8th grade? Was 6th when I was a kid and I don't think we've gotten smarter since we started electing con artists...

meryl selig's avatar

Marie: not sure of this but I think an 8th grade reading level is inaccurate. It’s more like a 5th grade level

Marie Martin's avatar

I looked it in several sources. They all say 8th, with a slight downward trend.

Kristy Kanen's avatar

THIS JUST IN !

Most people are stupid.

steve robertshaw's avatar

'Tis true, but we have to keep that to ourselves!

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Feb 25, 2024
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Openly Fae's avatar

What less can you expect from a Nazi propaganda specialist?

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Why, Josef, you silver-tongued devil!

Kristy Kanen's avatar

LEBENSBORN. Sounds like the Tuber & Gang of Putin are totes down with

that Nazi shit. Quelle suprise. 🙄

Marie Martin's avatar

In the words of a dear old friend: fuck me dead.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

I read your column out loud to my cats, and they laughed and laughed. Dr Bombay (one of them) said, “you know, it takes a lot to bust us up.”

Stephen Brady's avatar

Tuberville is simply too big for his brain. And he holds national office because enough Democrats and Independents didn't go to the polls...

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Are there even enough Dems and Independents in Alabama to outnumber the Repubs?

meryl selig's avatar

Deborah: only in Birmingham and close-in wealthier (educated) suburbs

Stephen Brady's avatar

Yes - they elected Doug Jones, but turnout was lower when The Tubes ran against him.

Name: lenora good, Guest's avatar

If embryos are children, and it's illegal to thaw them, are noisy, ill-mannered toddlers who just learned a new word, NO, then considered embryos and can they be frozen so mom can have some peace and quiet? asking for a friend /snark/

un poco loco's avatar

... and can I freeze my college kid until I'm ready to mom again?

Name: lenora good, Guest's avatar

hmmm, I think you'd be ok, but don't thaw him. I think that's where you'd get into problems. /snark//

Koko in AZ's avatar

Christofascists can't have it both ways. If the initial combo of sperm and egg make a new cell, and that cell is legally considered a living baby, then it shouldn't matter if that cell is in utero or glass dish. Live with your phoney concern for babies in order to win the evangelical vote, Republicans. If you say otherwise to preserve the vote of rich, white people so they can continue to have access to IVF, then expect your hypocrisy to be used against you.

Jim Ryan's avatar

Why can’t they have it both ways? Do you imagine that logic or consistency matter to them in any way?