Republicans kicked a hornet’s nest — and now they’re in a panic over IVF ruling

boo fucking hoo

it took the thickskulls a few days, but it’s finally dawning on elected Republicans that allowing some god-mad judicial fuckface to jam his superstitious nonsense up women’s uteruses is political suicide — and they’re freaking out.

boo fucking hoo.

when the Alabama Supreme Court — led by their forced-birth christofascist Chief Justice, Tom Parker — declared that a microscopic clump of frozen cells had all the legal rights of a child, Republicans at first fell all the fuck over themselves in a mad dash to praise the ruling. it was only later that they realized this is exactly the kind of overreach that is going to get them buried at the polls this November.

Nikki Haley, the gaffe-factory who talks first and thinks never, was the first Republican out of the gate to laud the decision.

“embryos to me are babies.”

three days later, she got all huffy on Fox News and tried to pull a how-dare-the-Democrats-use-my-own-words-against-me act.

Fox News: “do you in fact believe that frozen embryos are babies, and what would you recommend Republicans do in response to this ruling?”
Haley: “so first of all, the Democrats are hoping for another hot-button issue.”

well of course Democrats are going to use your own words against you. that’s how politics works. you fucking dolts marched straight into your own buzz-saw here. it’s not the Democrats’ fault you fucked up.

now check out Alabama’s own failed football coach Tommy Tuberville. when asked for his opinion on the ruling, he managed to dump an entire bucket of shit on his head.

it’s long, but you really need to listen to (or read) the entire exchange, because the reporters here do an excellent job of pushing back on Tuberville’s derp salad.

reporter: “I wanted to ask you, do you have a reaction to the Alabama Supreme Court ruling on the fact that embryos are children?”

Tubes: “yeah. I was all for it. you just gotta look at everything going on in the country. just an attack on families, attack on kids. anything that we can do for the future of our young people, because they’re our number one commodity. we need to have more kids. we need to have an opportunity to do that, and I though that this was the right thing to do.”

reporter: “but IVF is used to have more children, and right now IVF services are paused at some of the clinics in Alabama. aren’t you concerned that this could impact people who are trying to have more kids?”

Tubes: “well … that’s … that’s for another conversation. I think the big thing right now is that you protect— you go back to the situation and try to work it out for where it’s best for everybody, I mean … uh … that’s what … that’s what the whole abortion issue’s about.”

reporter: “but this ruling isn’t about abortion. it’s about IVF and the concern that families might not have access to it.”

Tubes: “but it’s about the same direction. but I agree. people need to have access. people need to have— we need more kids. we need to people to … to have the opportunity to have kids.”

reporter: “IVF is not a Democrat or Republican issue. families across the board use it. what do you— what is your message to the Supreme Court if in fact this does stop families from being able to use IVF?

Tubes: “we don’t need that. y’know, I’m all … I’m … I’m understanding that we need people to have an oppportunity to have kids. ok? that’s my own … my whole …”

second reporter: “what do you say to the women of Alabama who don’t have access to IVF and will not as a result of this ruling? what do you say to them?”

Tubes: “oh sure. sure I do. sure I do. sure I do. I understand that. that’s not my decision.”

second reporter: “but do you agree with that decision?”

Tubes: “no. I … they … should be able to. yeah. should be able to. sure they should. sure they—”

first reporter: “do you agree with the Supreme Court decision or not?”

Tubes: “I’d have to look at what they’re agreeing to, or not agreeing to. I haven’t seen that. ok?”

gotta love the Tuberville-in-the-headlights look that Tommy gets towards the end when he realizes that he has no fucking clue what he’s gibbering about.

Tuberville has got to be hands-down the dumbest Republican in the Senate — quite an achievement, these days. do you think he even knows what IVF is?

Tubes fucked up so spectacularly that the National Republican Senatorial Committee — hoping to avoid any more live-TV implosions by idiot senators — put out official talking points the next day.

The memo encourages candidates to show support for fertility-related services “as blessings for those seeking to have children,” and to oppose any efforts to restrict access to IVF “as a defense of family values and individual freedom.”

the memo also advises senators to use the Haley Gambit and blame Democrats for politicizing the issue.

yeah, that’ll fucking work.

Day One Diaperload — the numbnuts who goes around bragging that he was the guy who killed Roe, and who recently called for a national abortion ban — is also now trying to have it both ways.

Donald Trump said he would “strongly support the availability of IVF” and called on lawmakers in Alabama to preserve access to the treatment that has become a new flashpoint in the 2024 presidential election.

Republicans are in a bind here. their only remaining hope is that SCOTUS takes up an appeal and overrules the Alabama Supreme Court.

oh wait — you fucked yourselves again here, Republicans, when you packed the Court full of god-bothering zealots who rule based on medieval hokum.

It won’t be easy for Republicans to downplay their role in this. After all, GOP senators almost unanimously voted to put Amy Coney Barrett on the Supreme Court. And during her 2020 confirmation hearing, Barrett refused to answer the question of whether criminalizing in vitro fertilization would be constitutional. Barrett described the issue as an “abstract” question.

Republicans are energizing the opposition — but they’re also enraging their own base.

you know who mostly uses IVF, right? rich, mostly-white couples who can afford to lay out tens of thousands of dollars for multiple rounds of treatments.

Upper-income adults are much more likely than middle- and lower-income adults to say they have used fertility treatments or know someone who has. This is not surprising because fertility treatments can be expensive and are not always covered by insurance. For example, the cost of one cycle of in vitro fertilization typically ranges from around $15,000 to $20,000.  

exactly the kind of people who vote for — and donate to — Republicans.

Republicans are going to try like hell to sweep all of this under the rug, and try to gaslight their own base into forgetting that they’re the ones responsible for this mess. they also want everyone to forget that they’ve put all pregnant women in danger by restricting access to medical care. don’t let them get away with it.

reap. sow.

these shitweasels have unleashed hell on themselves — and it’s up to us to make them pay this November.

vote.