Republicans fucking hate gun laws, unless it’s Hunter Biden who gets convicted
the SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED crowd finds their exception
gun fetishists — if you spend any time at all on social media, you’re bound to run into these trigger-happy fuckwads.
any time some teenager with a grudge opens fire in his high school, any time some ex-employee with an axe to grind shoots up a Walmart, any time some unpleasant asshole whose wife left him works out his issues by gunning down her entire family — or any time there’s simply a call for reasonable gun regulation — these shitheels start screaming SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED at the tops of their lungs.
because Republicans fucking hate guns laws. to hear them tell it, there should be no limits on gun use or ownership — none at all — because the Second Amendment is holy gospel, and WHAT PART OF “SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED” do you godless communists need explained to you?
being a Republican in good standing means believing that every American deserves free and unfettered access to guns — no matter who the person, no matter what the situation.
unless it’s Hunter Biden checking the wrong box on a form — in that case, THROW THE FUCKING BOOK AT HIM.
Republicans got what they wanted yesterday: the conviction of Hunter Biden for lying about his drug use on a federal form when he bought a handgun in 2018.
the GOP demanded this trial happen. a year ago, prosecutors and Hunter Biden were within a whisker of working out a plea deal — and every Republican howled with outrage. unfair! they shouted. preferential treatment! — and so the Trump-appointed judge put the kibosh on the whole deal.
Republicans fucking love to piss and moan about politically-motivated prosecutions and weaponization of government, but holy shit — an entire political party screaming for blood until a judge changes her mind and and refuses to allow a plea deal to go through — how the fuck was that not weaponized government? how was this not a politically-motivated prosecution?
naturally, you’d imagine that Republicans are doing cartwheels right now, dancing in the halls of Congress and high-fiving each other, right?
oh no, ladies and gentlemen — they are not happy at all. Republicans are still whining like the grievance-babies they are. they got what they wanted, but it will never be enough.
“Hunter Biden’s guilty verdict is nothing more than the Left’s attempt to create the illusion of equal justice. Don’t fall for it.”
hello, what? you rancid shitnozzles demanded that this trial take place — and now you’re saying the whole thing is a leftist plot? what the fuck?
remember those kids who would smash all their toys within a half hour of receiving them on Christmas morning? those kids are all grown up now and they’re running the Republican Party. they’re broken inside, and they don’t know how to be happy. they only know how to bellyache.
“The gun charges are a giant misdirection. An easy op for DOJ to sell to a pliant media that is all too willing to be duped. Don’t be gaslit. This is all about protecting Joe Biden and only Joe Biden.”
shut the fuck up, Nosferatu.
this is the new Republican talking point: Sleepy Brandon threw his own son under the bus and ordered the DOJ to go after Hunter in order to distract from Joe’s own dastardly crimes. that’s the “misdirection” that Shitty Goebbels is talking about here.
I’m sorry, but the gun charges aren’t misdirection. misdirection is spray painting your head before going on TV and hoping no one will notice.
Chuck Grassley, the 143-year-old senator from Iowa, just made my hypocrisy meter implode.
“‘In our constitutional system, you gotta rely upon what the judges and juries decide. I’m sorry for the Biden family but people decide what justice is and you got to conclude justice was done.’ Asked if that applies to Trump verdict, he says it’s ‘an entirely different situation.’”
and there you have it, folks. if it’s Hunter Biden, ‘you gotta rely upon what the judges and juries decide’ — because justice is justice, and you have to respect the system. but if it’s Dear Leader, fuck the judges and fuck the juries, because the whole system is rigged.
even the jurors think prosecuting Hunter Biden for a minor gun violation was bullshit.
Jurors told CNN that while Biden was clearly guilty given the rules governing firearm purchases, some felt that prosecuting him over it was excessive.
“[The case] seemed like a waste of taxpayer dollars,” one female juror said.
oh, look at that — the jurors are going on TV and speaking their minds..
unlike with Trump’s trials, the jury didn’t have to have their identities hidden. they don’t have to live in fear that some deranged moron will find out who they are and where they live — because unlike Donny’s psycho cultists, Democrats actually do respect the system.
hey, as long as we’re prosecuting drug users for possessing guns, I have a suggestion as to who to go after next.
oh, and speaking of America’s most notorious crime family —
Meanwhile, the New York City Department of Probation officials have questioned former President Donald Trump about an additional gun that had been registered to him in New York and his access to firearms as part of their pre-sentencing interview, a city official briefed on the exchange said.
The former president was convicted on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records at the end of last month. Possession of firearms or ammunition by a convicted felon is a federal crime.
According to the official, Trump said that there was a gun in Florida, which is believed to be one of the three weapons listed on his New York City permit to carry concealed weapons.
oh gee, Little Donny Convict is in possession of a gun. that’s a federal crime — a felony. Donny is now in violation of his bail agreements in four separate trials.
(spoiler alert: nothing’s going to happen to Donny for having a gun. he’s a Very Special Boy.)
but let’s imagine that Judge Chutkan in DC or Judge McAfee in Georgia does the unimaginable and actually treats Trump the way any other bail-violator would be, and chucks his ass the fuck in prison.
would Republicans accept this as a natural consequence of a convicted felon falling afoul of federal gun laws? are you kidding me? they would go absolutely fucking ape-shit.
because what part of SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED do you commies not understand?
there was a whole side-drama that I chose not to get into in today's post. Republicans (and Katy Tur) are mad at Jill Biden for calling Hunter her son, when he is technically her step-son. the GOP is treating this as a major crime, because who the fuck knows why
BRAVO! Call it, Jeff. 👏👏👏 The Rethuglicans engage in political theater constantly. Such BS. Possibly the most beautiful thing was Joe changing his schedule and flying to Delaware to be with his son and family. I dont give a damn if Joe is a hundred and eighty one years old. The man has compassion and decency. And.... "rancid shitnozzles"? 😂😂😂 I'l laugh at that all day. 💙