Republican conundrum: how much Nazi is the right amount of Nazi?
are they the baddies?
trigger warning: everybody in this story fucking sucks.
that said, here’s a fun question to ponder: what kind of shithole party tears itself to pieces over ‘how much Nazi is the right amount of Nazi?’
I wish I were making this up, but the sociopathic fuckstains who run the Republican Party are actually warring with each other over ‘is it okay to go full Nazi?’
it’s mind-boggling that an entire political organization in America in the year 2025 is having this conversation with itself — but that’s what happens when everyone in the story fucking sucks.
this whole current meltdown started when frozen-fish-stick heir and roasted ballsack aficionado Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson invited Nazi fuckstick Nick Fuentes onto his podcast to whitesupremacist it up for two and a half hours.
the thing you need to know about Nick Fuentes is that he fucking sucks.
here’s something the Nickster said last March.
“Jews are running society, women need to shut the [expletive] up, Blacks need to be imprisoned for the most part, and we would live in paradise. It’s that simple.”
Nick seems nice, doesn’t he?
after the Carlson-Fuentes hatefest dropped, a handful of establishment Republicans issued a few limp-dicked harumph-harumphs about how disappointed they were to see Old Tuckums give a white supremacist a platform.
and that’s when Heritage Foundation president Kevin Roberts decided that the best possible contribution he could make to the discourse was to find the nearest hornet’s nest, shove his dick into it, and give it a vigorous clownfucking.
Other leading conservatives rushed to Carlson’s defense, including Kevin Roberts, the president of the Heritage Foundation, who threw the Trump-aligned think tank into turmoil when he blasted the “globalist class” for criticizing the segment. Jewish groups, along with numerous Heritage staffers and conservative figures, said the phrase played on antisemitic conspiracy theories.
that’s right, Kevin Roberts used antisemitic tropes to defend a rabid antisemite — because he fucking sucks.
of course, the entire Heritage Foundation fucking sucks. they’re the shitweasels who cooked up this whole Project 2025 nightmare we’re all currently trapped in.
here’s what happened next.
The resurgence of the 27-year-old Fuentes, who has argued that immigrants and “organized Jewry” are conspiring to extinguish the white race, has set off bitter infighting among conservative influencers over whether he should be tolerated or denounced.
The fallout is still resounding more than a week later as conservative media figures and influencers choose sides or try to heal a rift that they view as a threat to the cohesion of the Republican Party.
let’s get real: this whole donnybrook over ‘the right amount of Nazi’ is a smokescreen. the real question that Republicans are asking themselves is, ‘is it okay to finally admit we’re Nazis’ — because the GOP has been openly embracing Nazi ideas and iconography for years now.
remember this fuckface?
when the Space Nazi sieg-heiled on the day of Donny’s inauguration, Republicans fell all over themselves in a mad dash to explain that oh no, Elon didn’t actually do the thing we all saw him do.
‘that wasn’t a sieg heil,’ they said, ‘it was a Roman salute.’
oh please, we’re not idiots out here.
right now, we have literal storm troopers terrorizing American cities, teargassing children and disappearing actual citizens off the streets. that’s some straight up unfiltered Nazi shit right there.
and look who’s leading the masked and armed thugs: Obergruppenführer Greg Bovino.
this guy is leaning so hard into his own personal brand of Nazism that he tarts himself up in Third Reich cosplay — because he fucking sucks.
ten years ago, anyone in government who showed up for work dressed like this would have been sent home with a swift what the fuck is wrong with you? — but now, this shit is openly embraced by the Party of Don’t You Dare Call Us Nazis.
don’t even get me started on those unfuckable ‘Young Republican’ shitkazoos who thought it would be fun to try to outdo each other in seeing who could post the vilest slurs about blacks, gays, Jews, women, immigrants and any number of marginalized groups. oh, and they also posted this.
pro tip: if you’re posting about how you ‘love Hitler,’ you fucking suck.
now let’s look at the fuckwit who sits at the top of the Republican food chain. during his first term, Dear Leader had to be warned over and over never to say that Hitler did a lot of good things.
John Kelly: “he would uh, he commented more than once that, you know, ‘that Hitler did some good things, too.’ and of course, if you know history, again I think he’s lacking in that, but if you know history, you know what Hitler was all about, you’d be pretty hard to make an argument that he did anything good.”
reporter: “so what would you say, what would you say when he said to you that Hitler did a lot of good things?”
Kelly: “well I would tell him that, you know sir, if you — first of all, you should never say that.”
imagine having to be told — more than once — not to praise Hitler.
of course, John Kelly has been unpersoned, and there’s no one around to tell Donny what he can’t say — and we’re seeing the result of that every goddamned day.
newsflash for Republicans: you’re the baddies.
and you all fucking suck.
meanwhile, the Heritage Foundation continues to fucking suck. check out their latest bit of supremacist assholery.
what in the actual fuck? the Heritage Foundation was so outraged that Black soldiers — who gave up their lives defending their country — were being honored in a cemetery in The Netherlands that they pressured the American Battle Monuments Commission to shitcan the whole thing.
imagine being so petty — and racist — that you get annoyed by something happening in a cemetery halfway across the world.
but oh no, don’t call the Heritage Foundation white supremacists. they might get sad.
as for Nick Fuentes, he’s over the moon right now about the shitstorm he’s created. he could not be more pleased with himself. listen in astonishment as Nick farts out the most fucked-up history lesson ever.
“all of the realest niggas in history were virulent antisemites and racists. can I— can a nigga just pop off real quick? George Washington, racist. Abraham Lincoln, racist. Christopher Columbus, racist. Jesus split the veil. his last— his parting gift is the he tore the veil covering the holiest of holies, and shook the earth. so, the more that I read that, I’m just translating it in my head as ‘real nigga.’ when people say ‘white nationalist racist antisemite Nick Fuentes, I’m just reading ‘badass motherfucker.’ I’m just reading ‘real-ass nigga.’”
I warned you: everyone in this story fucking sucks.
listen up, Republicans: the correct answer to ‘how much Nazi is the right amount of Nazi’ is, of course, ZERO NAZI.
Nazism is repugnant, and everything Nazis stood for should be rejected. I can’t believe I even have to explain this to you shitwits. we fought a whole fucking war about this, remember?
so let’s close with what I like to call The Parable of the Nazi Bar, as first told in a twitter thread by Michael B. Tager.
I was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work beer. One of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. So the bartender and I were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says, “no. get out.”
And the dude next to me says, “hey i’m not doing anything, i’m a paying customer.” and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, “out. now.” and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. And he was dressed in a punk uniform, I noticed
Anyway, I asked what that was about and the bartender was like, “you didn’t see his vest but it was all nazi shit. Iron crosses and stuff. You get to recognize them.” And i was like, oh ok and he continues.
“you have to nip it in the bud immediately. These guys come in and it’s always a nice, polite one. And you serve them because you don’t want to cause a scene. And then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. And that dude is cool too.”
“And then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a Nazi bar now. And it’s too late because they’re entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. So you have to shut them down.”
congratulations, Republican Party, you’re now a Nazi Bar.
what’ll ya have?
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
895 / 984
it should be noted that Nick Fuentes was right about Columbus, he was racist as fuck
Anyone who thinks Jews are organized has never been in a room full of Jews. We never stop debating. Why are these Nazi dudes so physically ugly? It's in 'em and it's gotta come out? They can kiss my kosher ass.