ICE Barbie utterly fails at being a human for Halloween

what kind of ghoul gleefully terrorizes children?

Oct 31, 2025

here’s one sure way to tell you’re living in a shithole country: the governor of a state has to plead with the federal government to ‘hey, can you fascist fuckwads maybe take a short break from lobbing tear gas at our children?’

let’s let Illinois Gov JB Pritzker lay out just how far through the looking glass we are right now.

“I sent a letter to Kristi Noem and to DHS leadership asking them to pause all of their federal agent operations for the entirety of the Halloween weekend. I’m asking for basic human decency. I think their response will be revealing. give the children and families of Illinois a break.”

that seems like a reasonable request, right? let’s not terrorize our children? because, for fuck’s sake, they’re children. not one of them signed up for any of this shit. no kid said ‘hey, let’s do fascism for a while. won’t it be fun to grow up with PTSD?’

now let’s watch ICE Barbie drag basic human decency out back to the gravel pit and shoot it in the face.

Fox: “Pritzker has asked you specifically to pause immigration enforcement operations in Chicago so kids can safety celebrate Halloween. do you have any plans to alter activity tomorrow?”

Kristi Noem: “no. we’re gonna be out on the streets in full force and increase our activities to make sure kids are safe.”

oh, ICE is going to continue to traumatize children in order to ‘keep them safe’? what kind of shit-sandwich nonsense are we being asked to swallow here?

wherever he is right now, Orwell is blinking in astonishment, and going ‘can you believe she actually said that? hey dumb-ass, my book was a cautionary tale, not an instruction manual.’

why is Pritzker so worried that children in Chicago might get tear-gassed during Halloween? because it already happened once this week, that’s why. tell me, when masked ICE shitkazoos tear-gassed a children’s a children’s Halloween parade in Chicago a few days ago, was that ‘keeping them safe’?

In one video confirmed by ABC News, resident Carlos Rodriguez is heard yelling at agents, “You’re scaring our children to death.”
“Unbelievable. Never thought this would happen in my neighborhood -- scaring our children to death, thinking this is a cool thing to do,” Rodriguez said in the video.
Residents said the Border Patrol activity forced them to relocate the Halloween parade to a nearby school.

who does this? who deliberately terrorizes children, and their parents? seems cruel, right? well, as always, cruelty is the point. these fascist fuckfaces are going out of their way to provoke a reaction that will justify Donny invoking the Insurrection Act.

when masked ICE goons stormed a Chicago apartment building last month, dragged naked children into the street, and handcuffed them, was that ‘keeping them safe’?

but please, Ms. Fascist Hair Extensions, go right ahead and tell us one more time how you’re lobbing tear gas grenades at children in order to ‘keep them safe.’ that’s such an awesome fairy tale.

well, if ICE Barbie won’t listen to Gov. Pritzker, maybe Greg Bovino will.

“I want to speak directly now to Greg Bovino. Mr. Bovino, your operation has sown fear and division and chaos among law-abiding residents in our communities. if you are unwilling to cease operations and leave our city, can we at least agree that our children should not be victims, especially on Halloween? can we agree that there is no imminent threat that should disrupt their holiday?”

Greg Bovino, to catch you up, is ground zero for fascist fuckstickery in Chicago. he’s a Border Patrol ‘Commander at-Large,’ and since Sept 16, he’s been ICE Barbie’s number one guy in the Windy City.

make no mistake, Bovino is a nasty piece of work. recently, he was filmed lobbing a teargas canister into a crowd of peaceful protesters.

Bovino is so out of control that an exasperated judge ordered him to appear in her courtroom every single day, to swear under oath that he didn’t commit any fascism.

(and, because we live in the shittiest possible timeline, an appeals court just blocked that order.)

here’s another super-cool thing about Bovino. he calls his reign of terror in Chicago ‘Operation Midway Blitz.’

hey, you know who originated the term ‘blitz’? of course you do.

The Blitz was a bombing campaign by Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy against the United Kingdom during the Second World War. The name is a shortened form of Blitzkrieg, a term used in the popular press to describe a German style of surprise attack used during the war.

here’s a pro tip: if you’re using the same word to name your military operation against civilians as the Nazis used to name theirs, you’re on the wrong fucking side.

where do Donny and Kristi find these people? is there some special version of Linked-In that’s just for fuckwads?

oh, look at how cute. Bovino’s dressing up as a Nazi for Halloween.

[taps earpiece] hang on, I’m being told that this isn’t Bovino’s Halloween costume. these are his normal street clothes. this is how he dresses every day.

oh great, Greg’s role model is Obergruppenführer Smith from the Man in the High Castle.

for fuck’s sake, the Man in the High Castle — Philip K. Dick’s novel and TV series about ‘what if the Nazis won World War Two?’ — is, like Owell’s 1984, supposed to be a cautionary tale, and not a handbook.

here’s another pro tip for Obergruppenführer Greg: if your everyday getup makes you look like there’s a Third Reich living inside your head, you need to be asking yourself, ‘are we the fucking baddies?’

spoiler alert: yes, you fucking well are.

when our current national nightmare finally runs its course, and relatively sane people are in charge again, there needs to be a reckoning. there needs to be a serious discussion about how all this happened, and real measures need to be taken to ensure it doesn’t happen again. and, this time, there needs to be real accountability.

we can’t have any more of this ‘let’s forget about the past, and just look ahead to the future’ shit.

we tried that after the Civil War, we tried that after Nixon, we tried it after Bush, we tried it after Donny’s first term — and it didn’t work.

oh, and we need to abolish the fuck out of ICE.

have a good Halloween, folks. stay safe out there — and whatever you do, don’t dress up as Kristi Noem’s puppy.

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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