fuckwit preznit ignored by Iran and Israel, sidelined by NATO

rage-baby’s in a big mad because he doesn’t matter any more

barely a month ago, America’s Mad King was zipping around the Gulf, scooping up tribute — a vulgar flying bordello here, a mobile burger truck there — as amirs and crown princes jockeyed to curry favor.

when Donny spoke, people fucking well listened!

now it’s all gone to shit. nobody pays attention to the Mad King any more. world leaders have figured out they can get along just fine without him. as a result, he can’t do trade deals. he can’t end wars. Donny can’t even arrange a ceasefire between his butt and his diaper.

look at how mad the Mad King is. he’s a frustrated little rageaholic. let’s watch him melt down after Israel and Iran were all ‘ceasefire this, pal,’ when he begged them to stop bombing the shit out of each other.

“Israel, as soon as we made the deal, they came out and they dropped a load of bombs the likes of which I’ve never seen before. the biggest load that we’ve seen.”

no, Donny. you’re the biggest load that we’ve seen. but please, do go on.

“I’m not happy with Israel. you know, when I say, ‘okay, you have twelve hours,’ you don’t go out in the first hour, just drop everything you have on them. so I’m not happy with them, I’m not happy with Iran, either. but I’m really unhappy if Israel’s going out this morning, because the one rocket that didn’t land, that was shot, perhaps by mistake, that didn’t land. I’m not happy about that. you know what? we basically have two countries that have been fighting so long, so hard, that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.”

bro, u mad?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and posit that Israel and Iran know exactly what the fuck they’re doing, and it’s Donny who never knows what the fuck he’s doing.

presidents dropping f-bombs, it must be said, should be a big bowl of so fucking what. in case you haven’t noticed, people fucking swear — but I need to point that a couple years ago, after it was reported that Joe Biden cussed like a sailor in meetings, every Republican clutched their pearls and fainted dead away.

naturally, they tried and failed to blow it up into a scandal.

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anyway, back to Donny. in that clip above, the Mad King was on his way to a NATO summit in The Hague.

(yes, I know — the only reason Donny should be in The Hague is to stand trial for his crimes. but unfortunately, that’s not the timeline we’re living in.)

that NATO summit is just getting underway, as I write this — and by the time you read these words, the summit will have ended, and Donny will be on his way back to the White House.

now, I can hear you asking: but Uncle Jeff, aren’t NATO summits usually three-day affairs? why is this one only a few hours long?

the answer is simply this: this summit is only hours-long because Donald J. Trump is an asshole.

Nato has cut back the upcoming leaders’ summit to just one working session to avoid Trump walking out early as he did recently at a G7 meeting. Originally supposed to take place over three days, the summit will be limited to just a two-and-a-half hour working session among the 32 leaders.

The decision was taken to ensure Trump did not get bored and leave early, three officials briefed on the preparations told the Financial Times.

holy shit. nobody wanted a repeat of what happened at the G7 last week, when the narcoleptic old fart factory fell asleep — and probably filled the meeting room with the pungent aroma of ass music.

dammit, Donny, we beg of you — CEASE FIRE.

and then, of course, Donny left early, in a big huff — the official story being that he had to rush home so he could END ALL WARS FOREVER. the real story that eventually came out was that if Donny had stuck around, he would have had to rub elbows with the G7’s guest of honor, Volodymyr Zelenskyy. the horror. the horror.

there’s your Dear Leader, cultists. aren’t you proud? he’s such an unpleasant son of a bitch that no world leader wants him around. NATO switched around their whole schedule just to get him the fuck out of their sight as quickly as possible.

it’s all so embarrassing.

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apparently, Donny was in a pretty good mood by the time his plane landed in The Hague. his plan was to saunter into that NATO meeting as if he were God’s own gift to the world, puff out his chest, and brag about having blown Iran’s nuclear fuel program back into the stone age — but then word got out that yeah, no, none of that shit was true.

The report’s finding, while preliminary, was particularly damaging because it emerged from inside the Pentagon, which had carried out the strikes, and it concluded that the military action had only set Iran’s nuclear program back by a number of months.

in the end, it was just another adventure in clownfuckery by Team Donny. first we find out that because Donny couldn’t stop running his rancid anus-mouth, Iran had enough advance warning to hide their enriched uranium — and now we find out that all those multimillion dollar bunker-buster bombs barely busted any bunkers after all.

this is what happens when you put a Fox News dunk-tank clown in charge of the military, and then that same dunk-tank clown fires everyone in the Pentagon who would have known how to get that shit done.

Donny was livid — but not with Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand, for being a fuck-up. he was mad at the media, for reporting the truth.

“it’s gone for years. years. very tough to rebuild because the whole thing is collapsed. in other words, inside, it’s all collapsed. nobody can get in to see it, because it’s collapsed. it’s a room that has ten million tons of rock in it.”

fact check: Donny is making shit up. he’s living in a narcoleptic fart-enhanced dream world, and contradicting his own Pentagon’s report that Iran’s nuke program has been set back ‘only a few months.’ apparently, Donny knows more about collapsed rocks than all the rock collapsers.

“this was an unbelievable hit by genius pilots, and genius people in the military.”

fact check:

“and they’re not being given credit for it because we have scum. CNN is scum. MSDNC is scum. the New York Times is scum. they’re bad people. they’re sick.”

bro, u still mad?

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here are your heroes of the day: the voters of New York City.

with 93% of the votes counted, Zohran Mamdani — a genuine progressive — appears set to win the Democratic primary for Mayor of NYC.

Zohran Mamdani, a little-known state lawmaker whose progressive platform and campaign trail charisma electrified younger voters, stunned former Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo in the Democratic primary for mayor of New York City on Tuesday night, building a lead so commanding that Mr. Cuomo conceded.

props must be given to Andrew Cuomo, for surprising the hell out of everybody by graciously conceding defeat last night.

Fox News, of course, is already trying to terrify their viewers with visions of the communist hellhole that a Mamdanified New York City will become.

look at all this scary shit.

building affordable housing! providing free mass transit! protecting LGBTQIA+ rights! raising the minimum wage! telling ICE to fuck all the way off!

don’t threaten us with a good time, Fox.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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