Little Donny Convict is a lot of things.
he’s the shameless grifter and con artist who has spent his life separating gullible rubes from their money. he’s the clown who slathers a gallon of makeup across his big dumb face and tops it off with a piss-stained badger pelt. he’s the misogynist and adjudicated rapist who regards women as objects to be conquered — by force, if necessary.
he’s the cheater who has never filed an honest tax return — or golf scorecard. he’s the miracle of medical science whose bullet-ravaged ear magically grew back in three days. he’s the deteriorating dotard, lost in a fog of dementia and untreated tertiary syphilis.
he’s the low-wattage fuckwit who thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room. he’s the broken-inside bottomless pit of neediness who at all times must be the center of attention. he’s the diaper-filling narcoleptic fart factory who slept though his criminal trial.
but above all, Donny Convict is a racist.
Donny’s tyrannical Klansman father taught him well. in the 1970s, the two of them cooked up a scheme to avoid having to rent any of their apartments to black people.
in the 1980s, he bought full-page ads in the New York Times calling for the executions of five innocent black teenagers who had been jailed for a crime they didn’t commit.
in the 1990s, he shocked the producers of his game show by freely throwing around the n-word.
so it should come as a shock to absolutely no one to learn that yesterday, Donny Convict sat down for an interview at the National Association of Black Journalists convention in Chicago — and turned it into a master class on how to be an arrogant racist asshole.
it was a shit-show from the word go.
Rachel Scott: “I want to start by addressing the elephant in the room, sir. a lot of people did not think it was appropriate for you to be here today. you have pushed false claims about some of your rivals, from Nikki Haley to former president Barack Obama, saying that they was not born in the United States, which is not true. you have told four congresswomen, women of color who were American citizens, to go back to where they came from. you have used words like ‘animal’ and ‘rabid’ to describe black district attorneys. you’ve attacked black journalists, calling them a loser, saying the questions that they ask are quote, ‘stupid and racist.’ you’ve had dinner with a white supremacist at your Mar-a-Lago resort. so my question, sir, now that you are asking black supporters to vote for you, why should black voters trust you after you have used language like that?
Donny: “well, first of all, I don’t think I’ve ever been asked a question in such a horrible manner. you don’t even say hello, how are you. are you with ABC, because I think they are a fake news network.”
this is what happens when you take Donny out of the comfort zone of being lobbed lazy softballs from lickspittle toadies like Sean Hannity. you can hear the gears grinding in Donny’s head as an actual journalist confronts him with hard questions.
how dare this black! woman! make me account for the things I’ve actually said. this is so unfair. black people love me! I’m a convicted felon, and every black person can relate to that. why won’t this woman ask me about my sneakers. black people love sneakers! they’re only $399.
Donny just kept digging himself deeper.
Donny: “a lot of the journalists in this room are black. I will tell you that coming from the border are millions and millions of people that happen to be taking black jobs.”
Rachel Scott: “what exactly is a black job, sir?”
Donny: “a black job is anybody that has a job! that’s what it is.”
things got so bad that Donny’s own people pulled him offstage after only 34 minutes of what was supposed to be an hour-long interview.
Harris Faulkner: “Project 2025...”
Rachel Scott: “I think we have to leave it there, the Trump team told us to wrap.”
but the disgusting moment that got everyone talking was Donny’s despicable pronouncement that Kamala Harris only recently “became black.”
Donny: “she was only of Indian heritage, and she was only promoting Indian heritage. I didn’t know she was black until a number of years ago, when she happened to turn black, and now she wants to be known as black. [audience gasps] so I don’t know. is she Indian or is she black?”
Rachel Scott: “she has always identified as a black person.”
Donny: “I respect either one but she obviously doesn’t, becuse she was Indian all the way and all of a sudden she made a turn and she went, she became a black person.”
Scott: “just to be clear, sir—”
Donny: “I think somebody should look into that, too, when you continue in a very hostile and nasty tone.”
this is one of those jaw-dropping quote-unquote “gaffes” that would immediately end the career of any other politician on the planet — but not Donny, because Donny is a Very Special Boy who thinks he knocked it out of the fucking park.
“The questions were Rude and Nasty, often in the form of a statement, but we CRUSHED IT!”
oh please, the only thing Donny crushed was his chance of winning over the so-called ‘independent’ voters.
nonetheless, Donny’s decided that naked racism is the way forward. at a hate-rally in Harrisburg PA later that day, this was projected onto the screen above the stage:
hey, look who’s desperately grasping for her 16th minute of fame — the parking garage lawyer, who for some reason was one of Donny’s warm-up speakers. she also leaned into the racism.
“and unlike you, Kamala, I know what my roots are and I know where I come from.”
oh, how nice. the parking garage lawyer mispronounced ‘Kamala,’ which is a super-fun and definitely not-at-all racist thing do to.
the entire right-wing noise machine has now fully embraced Dear Leader’s bigotry. here’s a fascinating biology lesson from the Right Side Broadcasting Network.
“she really is elevating and pushing her black side. I think it’s 25 percent, maybe.”
Kamala Harris has a black father and an Indian mother, so I’m not sure how Kamala ends up being only 25% black. is it because the egg is so much bigger than the sperm? help me understand, racists!
here’s Fox News found object Jesse Watters with a geography lesson.
“she’s not African American technically.”
duh. Kamala’s father is from Jamaica. whether or not that makes her technically “African-American” is a dumb fucking hair to split.
of course, no festival of racist idiocy would be complete without a contribution from Handy Oakley.
so this is your line of attack going forward, Republicans? that Kamala is somehow faking being black?
does anyone besides the racists who already vote Republican give one shit about this nothingburger of an issue?
this is pure Wingnut Grievance Bubble stuff.
the Wingnut Grievance Bubble is that enclosed feedback loop where lunatic fantasies, feverish delusions, nutty conspiracies, repugnant behavior and harebrained notions are amplified. these people watch themselves on Fox News all day long. whatever crackpot ideas rattle around in their heads are never challenged.
inside the Wingnut Grievance Bubble everyone knows that Kamala’s ‘fake’ blackness is a scandal, because everyone everyone knows that Kamala’s ‘fake’ blackness is a scandal.
outside of the Bubble, the rest of us just point and laugh at the weird racist assholes.
finally, let’s all give a huge FUCK YOU to the Washington Post, because this is how they framed the story:
what the hell? how is it Kamala who faces a pivotal moment?
is Kamala Harris now expected to take the ravings of a demented racist seriously, and what — hold a press conference to explain herself? to come clean?
why isn’t this a pivotal moment for Donny? why is he being given one more in an endless series of free passes? why is no one calling on Donny to drop out of the race? he’s obviously too unstable and impaired to lead a nation.
the WaPo has since changed the headline the less-offensive “Trump’s attack on Harris’s racial identity moves contest into new phase” — but come the fuck on, Washington Post, how hard would it have been to have gotten it right the first time?
He thinks he killed it. Even Kurt Andersen, who jointly coined the phrase “short-fingered vulgarian” back at Spy Magazine, says the mug’s once-negligible brain function has declined significantly, surprisingly so. And yet people are still chugging the kool-aid. Racism is a very powerful drug.
Anybody want to clue these guys in on how the Africans got to Jamaica?