317 Comments
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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Never miss an opportunity to call Skippy the Dipshit “President Musk.”

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Susan Niemann's avatar

That was sooo funny when Walz called him that😂😂😂

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

I was so sad he lost, but I was so happy Elon heard that he got called that.

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Linda Weide's avatar

The perfect name for those who behave like they are in junior high and are having a pissing contest. Actually more like the boys in my daughter's eighth grade class, where they took turns pushing a quarter around the rim of a toilet bowl with their tongues, and each time it fell in they had to fish it out of the toilet and put it back on the rim. At least their hormonal surges in the throws of puberty could somewhat excuse this disgusting behavior, the boy who thought it up was a big Trumper, and he was right in there doing it. No excuse for DT and EM other than that they are permanently developmentally at the junior high puberty stage.

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Dale Lyles's avatar

That's been my exact take forever. These people talk like middle school boys arguing over which Marvel movie rules.

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T L Mills's avatar

You sure? I would have said the fragile-skinned, two year old toddler stage. At least for Trump.

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Teri's avatar

Linda, thanks for the visual of 8th grade boys pushing a quarter around the rim of a toilet bowl. Sounds like a next gen bunch destined for the House of Reps!

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shee-rah's avatar

Yeah! That’s what the Repubs were doing during their budget talks.

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Permian Extinction's avatar

Skippy. Snort. 🃏

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Carrie Duncan's avatar

President Skippy? A two-in-one?

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Jeff thinks it's gonna be fun when Musk and Trump blow up at each other. But remember that Musk has more rockets than 140 countries put together.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Yup and President Elon Sucks gets $20 billion a year in government funding for SpaceX but the dickhead shit cans $190 million for children's cancer research. This no shame, anti government, heartless asshole has enough of his own money to keep playing rocket man but could give two shits about the future of kids dealing with a catastrophic illness. The fact that 38 Republicans defied Musk and the orange dipshit puppet he owns and controls is a sign that they're not all on board with the reckless, greedy and incompetent MAGA agenda. Fingers crossed for a resolution and no shutdown.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Irrelevant that he might have rocket parts but most importantly they will be mortal enemies and it could get bloody two baby boys.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I’m putting up odds on the winner, at 85-15 for the career criminal, but Putin intervention could alter the line significantly!!

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Teri's avatar

Bannon has to be watching closely too. He always wants to be where the action is.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Bannon is definitely keeping a close eye on the affray Teri, wondering how he can profit!

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Teri's avatar

Patrick, look up "chaos" in dictionary, turd, musk or Bannon pics there.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Putin likes Musk better because, he's actually rich and younger so he's a far better ally.

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shee-rah's avatar

I wonder how long it will take for the Dumpster to get pissed off at being upstaged by Musky and to unfriend him and kick him off the DOGE.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Not long. I can smell it coming.

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un poco loco's avatar

well, true, but does he really have access to all of those? They aren't like nukes, sitting ready for launch as needed. I'm sure he's got a few in TX for the launch tests that drop debris on anyone unfortunate enough to live close to the Gulf, but I'd guess NASA has actual possession of a bunch of them, and just because Elno's who he is, he doesn't have automatic access, or the ability to drag them off one by one to a launch pad... He might try, but those are secured facilities that you don't just waltz into, even if you're President Elno.

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un poco loco's avatar

... oh, and I forgot the ones he's using to launch his StarFink satellites, which are also in TX. But still, the NASA facilities I'm familiar with aren't inclined to let any old billionaire come & fuck with their rockets without clearance, Clarence...

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Mwfeiger's avatar

Good point, but Fat Fungus 45 (47), can just 'nationalize' Skippy's rocket endeavor, or anything else Fungus thinks he deserves.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Indeed Mw, unless Trump handed out authorization, phallic-boy is pretty much fucked!!

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Susan Davis's avatar

Scary. Didn't know that.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

I should clarify. That's true if we're talking about big rockets that can reach outer space, but even terrorists have tiny rockets that can only go a few miles.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Much of by Musks stash is uSA owned though Susan!

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Sooz Hall's avatar

?

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Burke's avatar

Wonder if Elon has investments/ownership of any hypersonic missile skunkworks. Top secret no doubt. Russia and China brag about theirs. King Skippy brags about SpaceX. What are the limits to info sharing? Whose side is he on? His own side for sure!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

We know with certainty that Musk is a Putin puppet, it’s rather dubious that he has hyper-sonic missile technology though…. But this should please all the apocalyptic religious lunatics Burke!!

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Susan Davis's avatar

Scary. Didn't know that.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

I should clarify. That's true if we're talking about big rockets that can reach outer space, but even terrorists have tiny rockets that can only go a few miles.

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Schnauzermom's avatar

Yes!! His fragile ego won’t stand for it for long, and soon Elno will find himself out on his ass. Just go back to slurping up government dollars, you fucking creep.

Or here’s a good idea: let’s deport him! Shouldn’t he go back to where he came from?

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Robert R's avatar

Oh ! Yeah baby !Get Humpty real pissed off 😡 then start the deportation of the illegal South Afrikan ! Cancel all the contracts ,have him investigated by a couple of agencies ,give him a Gitmo tour up close ! Oh make my decade !🤪👍

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May Kergen's avatar

I am actually fantasizing about the prospect of Trump deporting Musk when this all comes to a head. And it will. Two billionaire narcissists can't co-exist.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Like

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Ole Anderson's avatar

First tax him back to Millionaire status. And let him bring home the two stranded astronauts on the Space Station. Although I sincerely doubt that Elonia’s presence or input is needed for a launch.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Yes. It's not like he couldn't just buy South Africa.

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Burke's avatar

Prez Skippy paid good money to control the Executive Branch and the GOP caucus. Donnie and the MAGAs know that Skippy owns them all. They skip to his orders.

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un poco loco's avatar

He's still just an illegal immigrant -- just a very rich one lol. And Trump's got most of the Supremes on his side.

I'm thinking of investing in popcorn-related stocks...

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Good choice. I'm a great market for popcorn, government collapse or not, you can always count on me.

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Robert R's avatar

Imagine what it’s like going through life and never knowing if you EVER ever had a genuine lover or friend ! That’s a fucked up life !

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Susan's avatar

Poor Trump, he just can't get it right. Syncophants are adoring, and ineffectual at governing. Oligarchs and political hacks only know how to take care of themselves; they don't seem to understand that holding office is a service to others. This concept does not compute.

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Sooz Hall's avatar

Here’s a phrase that has to get back into common usage: Public Servant. Remember that? Remember when the people who SERVED in Congress (you got that word, right?) were not trying to be Public Masters? Let’s just roll that one around in our minds, and maybe in our discourse for a Long while.

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Robert R's avatar

In a century or so perhaps time travel will exist and somebody can go back and slap the shit outa their mothers for raising such asshole children ,not to be sexist ,give their oldman a kick in the ballls for his bad input !

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Steve Kelly's avatar

I prefer "President Muskoil."

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Linda Weide's avatar

Love it! Waiting for the DT-EM relationship to implode.

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

Amen!

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Like

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arne link's avatar

OMG! Clownshoe Fuckbrains? I love you so much, Jeff. It's a real pleasure to blow coffee out my nose in the morning.

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Carrie Duncan's avatar

Don't need no neti pots with a sub to Tiedrich.

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arne link's avatar

So true.

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Cathy 98280's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Stephanie Sipe's avatar

I.Am.Dead.

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Carol Jacobson's avatar

Its one of the few things keeping me sane in this clusterfuck of a world.

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Tess's avatar

😂

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Pre-soiling the fishwrap isn’t a bad thing arne!!

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vorpal's avatar

To: Office of the President-Elect c/o Caroline Leavitt

Re: Leader of the Republican Party

Action: To be read to the President-Elect Immediately.

Message:

PresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMuskPresidentMusk

Sincerely,

The People who know who the REAL president is.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

There's a secret billionaire rule. Maxi billionaires boss mini billionaires around. Explains everything.

Alternatively, Musk has rockets, Trump has buildings. Who wins that war?

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Jane John Jones's avatar

Hmmm… Godzilla vs. Mothra….kinda getting that vibe. In the meantime there’s a lot of collateral damage as these two maniacs slug it out.

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Cheryl Seybert's avatar

Voldemort v Harry Potter & Dumbledore is what came to mind but Godzilla v Mothra works too!!

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P123Sunny's avatar

Do you really think rump cares as much as he did Term1? I mean this run was about personal safety (staying ahead of the law0 - & mission practically accomplished?) Seems like he'd be content hobnobbing w/ the richest - who HAVE to include him... not sure he would care as much abt appearances and just focus on the money part...

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Teri's avatar

P123, turd said to someone "I'm taking gas and oil. You can have everything else."

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Yep. Musk has more rockets than hundred forty countries put together. Think about that.

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Katherine Harris's avatar

Godzilla vs. Mothra works better for me since Trump and Musk both look like they’re rubber suits.

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SPW's avatar

Typical chicken’s pecking order so who’s going to come out with fewer feathers on top of his head? I’m betting on Donnie rooster poo.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

I think they're going to skip feather pecking and go straight for throat tearing out.

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Teri's avatar

PPV to raise $ for $190 million plus childrens' cancer research: Pre- Inaugural psychotic break. vp rapist vs

maybe POTUS non elect musk. Issues: who sits at Resolute Desk; vp maybe rapist finds Starlink docs& love letters in Melania's bedroom; Musk, dresses up as Darth Vader for family Christmas dinner and confesses to Barron "I am your father".

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un poco loco's avatar

Musk has rockets, Trump has nukes (or will, after Jan 20.)

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Cathy 98280's avatar

Musk.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I like this debate SPW!!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Trump has his name on buildings, they are leveraged to the hilt, and they get the names ripped of them, like they did in Panama and Toronto.

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂😂

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Ditto 😆.

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Robert R's avatar

This has the makings of a great lottery ! Buck a shot on the exact time one of the conjoined slimese twins snaps the others fucken neck ! 🤪😜 A very Merry Christmas for all !😂🥳

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Rhoda Ozen's avatar

I replied to your great comment! It went to the end of comments and I suppose the person above me thought I was talking to them!

I just had to read it again because everytime I read it I start laughing hysterically!!

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vorpal's avatar

If I were Leavitt I'd spread out a large plastic tarp around Orange Fuckface before reading the body of the message... between the ketchup missles and head exploding, it will get messy

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Lol!!!!!

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Robert R's avatar

😂🤣🤣🤫

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Excellent use of space and time vorpal!!

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Gini Kramer's avatar

Here’s a thought. If the Republicans run Elon Musk for Speaker, as some are talking about, and a handful of their caucus votes for the Democratic candidate, that would make Hakeem Jeffries Speaker. Then if he could hold on to those representatives, he could have a coalition that might make trump/musk’s life miserable.

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Teri's avatar

Gini, from your lips .... 🇺🇸🗽

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Burke's avatar

Speaker of the House is a step down for King Skippy the First. No way he wants to work that hard.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

That would be a gift that keeps giving.

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Vickie Berry's avatar

Ooh, I love this! In this clown show it could happen. I’m praying hard to the great spirit in the sky.

Maybe there’s a chance for us to return to a sane government and a sane life. Peace and joy would feel awful good!

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Mark Slattery's avatar

I propose we rename the republican party the FIG party (Fear, Ignorance, Greed). That's all they have! And it's a throwback to when repubs were the Whig party. They can be called figgies.

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Sharon Senkiew's avatar

I like it!

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Robert R's avatar

Gingrich could be the poster boob ! Figgie Newt (ons)

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Damn. that’s sublime Robert!!

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Cheryl Seybert's avatar

I love it!!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Thats good!😂😂

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Fuckin Figgies yes!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Better.

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Susan Knowles's avatar

Figgy puddin’heads 😏

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Dig it Mark!!

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HI2thDoc's avatar

How the 1% convinced a fair proportion of the 99% to let them, the 1%, take money from us, the 99%, and give it to them, the 1%, is the biggest bamboozle in American political history.

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Joseph Luongo's avatar

Been going on for 40+ years now

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Right, it existed before then, but that sumbitch Reagan ramped up the war on the middle class.

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un poco loco's avatar

it starts with just a tiny seed (or at least a tiny bit of seed funding) -- you buy one elected representative, and before you know it, you have your own major party in congress, a president, and 2/3 of a supreme court...

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Bill Corbett's avatar

That is why calling him President Musk needs to be stated continuously so the orange fuck face losses his mind or all of what’s left of it.

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Teri's avatar

Bill, posting #PresidentMusk a skillionty times on X is Jon One for me now thru ... 🪟🪟

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un poco loco's avatar

speaking from experience here, just don't use any userid(s) you care about keeping... :)

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Steven Dundas's avatar

Jeff, as always you couple brilliant analysis with excellent, and biting wit. I always share your work with everyone the I can, letting them know that they need to read your column every day. As a miscreant retired Navy Chaplain and semi-retired priest, I have to say that your column is like Cheeseburgers falling from heaven.

By the way here is my column about President Musk and President In Name Only (PINO) Trump. However, my longtime friend, and retired miscreant Military Chaplain, Elvis who hails from the Cotton Belt of the Deep South came up with the term PENIS, (President Exercising Negligent Imbecilic Shitfuckery), which works pretty well.

Here is the link. https://open.substack.com/pub/dundas/p/donald-trump-the-president-in-name?r=1nbom2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Keep up the great work.

Steve Dundas

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Mingo's avatar

I think you're on to something regarding the tanking of a CR by two people who currently are not in government positions. Megalomaniac billionaire vs faux billionaire and both have massive egos. A collision course is already starting the acceleration toward the ending of a friends with benefits relationship for the PINO. BTW- Donny Chump looks none too happy in that photo. Or he just took a gigantic dump in his diaper.

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Steven Dundas's avatar

I agree, he doesn’t look happy at all.

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Denise Hall's avatar

I'm sharing this everywhere! The wit of all of this is my salvation and sanity right now!

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Tess's avatar

DeGaulle post-perfect!

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Steven Dundas's avatar

Thank you

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Kay-El's avatar

Ooooo the Finding Out portion of Elump’s presidency is in full swing and he hasn’t even taken office yet. Lmao

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Karen Hall's avatar

co-presidents Mump 🦠

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Kay-El's avatar

Good analogy. I had the mumps as a kid. It was awful.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ditto, not one of my favorite memories Kay-EI!!

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Karen Hall's avatar

Oh no … 😥 I can’t even imagine

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George A. Polisner's avatar

Thank you Jeff.

While Trump may be the "Criminal-elect", the reality is that Vladimir and Elon are co-chairs of the Board. And here's to Mike "Little" Johnson probably convening a special MAGA/GOP meeting right now!

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Robert R's avatar

Putin’s so excited he’s getting a Muskie !

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

You nailed it George, absent in today’s photo were Putins grand puppeteer strings, with Putin pulling them!!

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Susan Ross's avatar

I just spent the morning emailing from an out of date list of senators, 62 mailings all but three rejected, I can not get through to Wikipedia, all getting blocked. All I can surmise is the sign i am sending says this

I DID NOT VOTE FOR MUSK. DID YOU ?

TRUMP DID

I want this to get passed on.

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Teri's avatar

Susan, I understand the assignment. This is on this a.m. To Do list. 🇺🇸🗽

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Susan Ross's avatar

Teri, Thank you. Exactly what I hoped for. If only we could start seeing them everywhere and beyond!

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

Call the Capitol switchboard at (202) 224-3121 and ask for any member of Congress you want to speak to. They’ll put you right through.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Like

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Right On Sharon,,it’s really simple, but you often need to get the digits for their state offices elsewhere!

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

If you call the number I posted, they will direct your call to wherever you want. I’ve used it over a hundred times in the past year. Just give them the name of the Congress member you want to reach.

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Carrie Duncan's avatar

Possible, but also possible they want to drive traffic to their sites' contact form. They can get data on whether you are a constituent, etc. In my district(s), I haven't been able to email my senators or reps for a good 10 years now. That PLUS the sign you are sending, maybe.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Mace is obsessed with dicks.

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Discrete Music's avatar

Mace has the right idea for the wrong reasons

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arne link's avatar

Gosh, I wish we had a laugh emoji.

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Sarah's avatar

A lot of good would come from having an Oy Veh! Emoji. Seriously, we need it all day, everyday.

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Derek Smith's avatar

Here. Have one of mine:

🤣

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Discrete Music's avatar

When I was in school we learned to use words.

Seeing emoji makes me feel like I'm with children.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I use them all the time... they're fun and sometimes thats all you need.

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Outdoorluvr's avatar

NOTHING beats a facial expression, even if they are cartoonish.

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

That’s cause she is a prima Donna Dick

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL!!!

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Michael Baker's avatar

Crockett is a national treasure. And Musk bought our country for a measly 277 million dollars, which he makes in one night while he sleeps. Knowing that, Musk - who has the technology in place to do so, will become a Bond villain and continue his takeover of the US and the rest of the world.

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Kay-El's avatar

I saw on BlueSky this comment replying to a trailer for the new Superman movie coming out in 2025:

“Crazy how one of the highest grossing films of 2025 will be about an undocumented immigrant saving the world from a billionaire.”

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Perfect timing!

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un poco loco's avatar

She is, indeed! Wish we had 100 more like her...

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Discrete Music's avatar

Trump uses capitalization like a third grader

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Nancy Potter's avatar

But meanwhile President Musk tweets like he's a high school cheerleader. With Trump, you know whether he wrote the tweet by whether the spelling and punctuation is correct.

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L Turner's avatar

Another dead giveaway is Trump‘s overuse of the terms “dumb” and “failing”. He just can’t seem to leave those out of one of his typical insults.

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Sarah's avatar

Dump is a dummie with the brains and emotions of a sixth grade child. It’s confusing because he has the crazy like a fox impulses that have gotten him out of trouble by harassing others, being a 6th grade bully, and conning people with an act that he perfected with the help of the apprentice. But he’s embarrassingly stupid and undeveloped as a human. The people that voted for him have shown the rock bottom level of their own intelligence, discernment and plain common sense - OY!

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

He has a very limited vocabulary, he’s a low IQ individual.

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Nancy Potter's avatar

Decreasing vocabulary is a sign of increasing dementia.

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Discrete Music's avatar

And anything he likes he calls “beautiful.”

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Carol C's avatar

Or a German, like his ancestors and his hero Adolf, he capitalizes nouns.

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Discrete Music's avatar

All nouns are capitalized in German, except a few pronouns. Trump only capitalizes the ones he esteems.

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arne link's avatar

There is another thing that bugs me. I don't claim to have perfect grammar, but why do people use quotation marks on everything? Thanks for letting me vent.

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Tess's avatar

I use them when I’m quoting Jeff…(as I’m not that clever!!)

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arne link's avatar

I'm no expert, but I believe that is proper usage when quoting someone verbatim.

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Tess's avatar

Correct!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Especially in advertising putting quotes around a slogan... I railed against that for years. It's not correct and completely unnecessary.

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arne link's avatar

Thank you.

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L Turner's avatar

Fair question. I was quoting Trump when I used quotation marks.

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Dokuro no Hatako's avatar

Worse!

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Judy Luchsinger's avatar

Trump is a third grader.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Welcome to the Fuck Up Show! Elmo is finding out that the Koch-head caucus can't be controlled.(Ask Holy Mike, Kevvie, and Boner.) Maybe their collective incompetence is our unexpected Holiday gift. If they shut the government down over the Holidays, the shit will be all over Elmo and the rest of the Sewer Clown Collective.

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Teri's avatar

Charles, my secret Christmas wish: #SpeakerHakeemJeffries 🇺🇸

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Charles Austin's avatar

😃😃

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Nancy Potter's avatar

Musk is blaming it on Dems, not the 38 R's who voted against the Republican wet dream.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Like

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Inforia's avatar

Next, on ‘Mace the Nation.’ Everything Republicans aren’t doing will look bad for the Democrats.

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