313 Comments

ok everybody, stop reading the Gaetz Report — which I've been too busy writing this post to look at — and pay attention to me now

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Lol, Gaetz filed a lawsuit to stop the release but fucked that too:

Former Rep. Matt Gaetz’s (R-Fla.) lawsuit against the House Ethics Committee was rejected for technical reasons and must be refiled before the court takes any action, the court docket shows.

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His dad wasted money sending that little perv to law school

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I would assume law school would teach you to not use Venmo to pay for sex and drugs for chrisakes.

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His dad wasted money having him.

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What his dad wasted was something else, the name of which I prefer not to say in such polite company

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Funny, I never think of this as polite company. More like fun company. It's ok to say sperm or cum or jizz

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This is what happens when daddy bails you out over and over for everything including countless speeding and drunk driving charges. Sooner or later the chickens come home to roost.

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Delusional parents, make for delusional children Susan!!

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Affluenza

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I’ll agree to that Susan!!

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Too late!😂😂

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'Christ got this': Steve Bannon cites Jesus to defend Matt Gaetz's alleged sex crimes. Bannon is sick in the head.

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Ya think?

Bannon? Crazy?

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You gotta feel for Stevie 3-Shirts. That flea dip he was subjected to in prison clearly accelerated his brain rot.

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Surprised Steve Bannon didn't burst into flames at the word "Christ". The word

"sacralizious" comes to mind.

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I thought Stevie sobered up while in prison— I guess not.

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He's probably making up for lost time.

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Bannon is a sponge brain fourth stage alcoholic.

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I think Bannon says that kind of shit for his listeners.

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Oh, fer chrissakes! Jaysus.

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Thank you, Kay-El. But what is utterly incomprehensible is that MAGA will rally around him just because of that report, or say that it's just a hit job, despite ALL of the evidence. They'll simply say, "They all do it. Our boy Matty isn't any different."

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As long as he was willing to vote for the MAGA agenda and be an obnoxious defender of Trump, they'll have his back regarding his personal life and drug use.

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Geez, this reprobate really embraced and elevated the "ease" into SLEAZE. Good riddance.

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Thanks Kay-El. Superb detective work.

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What I don't understand is Gaetz has one particular event that should have been huge House scandal. Gaetz had been showing pornographic or nude pics on the House floor for years. Not one single Speaker or congressperson of either party filed a complaint. Not one.

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Old white man’s club, boys will be boys, yada, yada.

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Thank you

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Thank you 🙏🏻💙✌🏻

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Thanks. Looking forward to reading it all.

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Read and weep, thanks Kay-EI!!

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Can't wait to read your take on it:-) Also watching the "Family Values" crowd to rush to his defense. "Tonight on Tucker, we have unfairly accused Matt Gaetz...", etc. I'd love to see an interview with his parents.

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C'mon, folks.

Gaetz is a rich, white man and one of the official bros.

He won't be charged with shit.

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Thanks to dear old dad who bails Pervey out of everything including seven DUIs. How so many of these deviants and criminals keep getting reelected is such bullshit including the biggest idiotic, criminal, pervert of them all. It's going to be a long fucking four years.

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Rome 465AD.

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Idk, maybe 455 -- we're only on our first shadow emperor...

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Well it is Floriduh.

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At least Gaetz won't be AG or a congressman. I'm sure he will show up elsewhere in Trumpworld, since his values are so closely aligned with theirs.

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Spoon, see Joel's post re contacting FL Gov Ron DeSantis (& FL DoJ). If enough of us can crosspost, maybe the 🔥🔥🔥and 👀👀👀 will push them to prosecute Gaetz. FO time for the sex pest.

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Has DeSantis ever actually gone after a Republican? Party over country, party over decency.

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I think there just might be hope in this case. Gaetz might be rich and white, but there's an awful lot of folks that really don't like him.

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I read the report. The last page is a rebuttal by the minority that covering up the truth would have been the honorable thing to do. Astounding.

Biden's DOJ dropped the ball, over and over. The Ethics Committee actually attempted to do its job, in Good Faith. We now live in a world where Bad Faith trumps Good Faith. If civilization is to survive, Good Faith better get off its ass.

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Really? Said my piece and going to find it.

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You go Kay-EI!! The report is frightening for a stunod like Gaetz to become AG… wTF was Trump thinking? No reason for answering, we all know that Trump a career criminal wastrel, has zero ability to think!!

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He was thinking, most likely, "that huge bribe from Matty's Daddy sounds SOOOO good, sure, he can be AG, what does an AG do anyway? Where's my hamberder?"

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You think Trump THINKS????

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Dubious…made mention of Trumps illiteracy and lack of frontal cortex issues forever!

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Gaetz would have been a perfect criminal AG for a criminal “president”

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“All the best people!”—Donald Trump

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I’m not reading it. I’m waiting for you to explain it to me tomorrow, in the colorful language I’ve grown accustomed to.

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Jeff, I'm paying attention! But can I go to the bathroom now please? Please?

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Heard that McCarthy engineered this whole thing… (still has friends dontcha know) 😏🏛️

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"War of the Assholes".😆😆

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I guess some ppl are still working remotely....

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When you connect the dots of Grandpa Befuddled pants you can see his remarks are made with intent. In a power struggle between Trump and Musk who wins? Godzilla or King Kong? And what happens to America?

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Shit from both of them rains down upon us. That's how it works.

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Grampa Befuddlepants is not enough of a thinker to play things out. Musk takes issues that relate to his personal wealth and figures out how to explain them to Grampa in a way that it looks like other countries are trying to make Trump's BSD look small. Trump obligingly starts talking about making the Western Hemisphere (and hemisphere adjacent) his personal Warsaw Pact.

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I gave you my undivided attention, Jeff. Lol. Saw the comment that the report was out after I read your post. You're still our FAVORITE!!

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Glad to see Merrick Garland once again did his job.

Thanks Merrick.

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I rely on people like you to read that kind of thing for me

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Ha! Heard all I ned to know about Gaetz! He's a mega sleeze, guilty as he;;, just hike is idol. He'll continue to fit in nicely

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100%. I love your Substack.

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I just sent an email to Governor Ron DeSantis to tell him that, based on what's in the House Committee's report on Matt Gaetz, the State of Florida's Justice Department must - should immediately - open an investigation to determine if Gaetz should be indicted and brought to trial.

I reminded DeSantis that in the U.S. only the President is above the law.

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Don't hold your breath.

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The statutes of limitations have run on state charges. Gaetz is off the hook.

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Good on you Joel!!

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1. When is Orange Fuckwit planning to go after the Erie Canal?

2. Elump is the perfect amalgamation of Elmo and Trumpenstein

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"We're gonna own that canal - a beautiful canal. Very powerful canal many people say. We should have never given it to Erie, PA. Horrible, horrible decision. But, we're taking it back."

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😂😂😂

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The Erie Canal flows through NY state, not PA.

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Right, but trump won't know that. He's such a dufus he will think it's in PA somewhere...

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Lol, yeah I know. That's why I put it in quotes as something DJT would say. Guess I wasn't clear that it was him speaking:-)

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🤣🤣

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😂

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Professor Timothy Snyder says he’s going to call them both “Mumps” and what we will be going through is “The Mumps Syndrome”!

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Hahahaha! I saw that. Perfect

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i do like Elump!

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Yes! I refer to them as #elump as wella

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What about “Trusk”?

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World of Warcraft?

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Yours is the only news I can stomach. This is hilarious, in a not hilarious way.

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Who the fuck do Trump and friends think they are? Just because we have enough ignorant people in the US that voted for him doesn’t mean the world belongs to him!! This makes my blood boil!! All the bad guys are winning!!

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They are emboldened by the backing of Putin in every one of their schemes. Greenland I imagine has long been in Putin's sights, he's just not stupid enough to go after it himself but he now has 2 allies in the Oval Office that will be more than happy to help him.

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You definitely see the big picture Jayme, it’s all for the puppet master! Putin pulls the strings of two of his painted wooden puppets!!

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This Greenland thing is F'ing insane! It belongs to Denmark. So if Denmark has a military, we'll ... go to war ... over Greenland? The oligarch greed will cross a line (or poots). Unintended consequences may ensure.

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Our NATO allies will be obliged to defend Denmark. Article 5 provides that NATO members are not required to assist another member who attacks another nation, but are required to defend a member who is attacked.

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Dumbass doesn’t know what he’s getting himself and the US into if he thinks it’s OK to go to war with Denmark over Greenland.

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WTF is a “soft military invasion” of Mexico anyway? Canada and Mexico should be thinking of annexation of the U. S.!!

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They'd be doing us a huge favor, Patrick!

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I saw it explained as the insertion of undercover assassins.

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I don’t think these undercover guys have a chance against the well armed drug lords.

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🤯🤯🤯

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And sometimes I think, "I wish!"

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Ledeen, Wolfowitz, Feith, Perle, Bolton, Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and the neocons who perpetrated the illegal invasion of Iraq should have gone to jail for all the death and destruction, not to mention the $trillions that went to contractors. Unconscionable.

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If there is ever a REAL investigation into the events of 9/11/01, The Project for a New American Century (PNAC) should be Exhibit A.

Cheney The Dick made $39.5 billion from his no-bid contracts for his two wars for fun and profit. It's a fking travesty that they escaped justice. Both should have been tried in the International Criminal Court, but the US is not a signatory, which is another fking travesty.

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He navigated the war, not the Bushes, 1 & 2. For a ling time we did not see Dickie. Why? He was hiding in a bunker pulling the levers! That SOB!

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He endorsed Kamala. Trying to right a wrong?

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Dave #Fail ! Cheney and Bush are war criminals imo.

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