no, racists, the Key bridge didn’t collapse because of “diversity.” shut the fuck up

America’s dumbest bigots are at it again

two months ago, when Boeing airplanes began disintegrating mid-flight, the stupidest fucking idiots in America immediately identified the cause: black people.

I shit you not. Laura Ingraham blamed it on diversity. so did Cokey McSniffles Junior. misshapen gnome Ben Shapiro announced that he wouldn’t fly with any airline that hired black pilots. even the Space Nazi couldn’t keep his ignorant mouth shut.

well, guess what: America’s top racists are racisting again.

yesterday morning, a cargo ship in distress struck Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge, causing it to collapse — and once again, the usual gang of dipshits know exactly why it happened.

Fox News found object Maria Bartiromo blamed the tragedy on Joe Biden’s “wide open border” — because of course she did.

“but of course you’ve been talking a lot about the potential for wrongdoing or the potential for foul play given the wide-open border.”

holy shit, being a Fox News on-air bobblehead must be the easiest gig in the world. all you have to do is stare into a camera and keep a straight face while blaming everything on Sleepy Brandon’s “open border.”

bridge collapse? open border. gas prices? open border. dandruff? open border.

perpetually-failed candidate and MAGA-sponsored bridge troll Anthony Sabatini immediately shouted “DEI did this.”

so did a hundred thousand blue-check trolls on twitter. this fucknut managed to place blame on Baltimore having a black mayor.

“This is Baltimore’s DEI mayor commenting on the collapsed Francis Scott Key Bridge. It’s going to get so, so much worse. Prepare accordingly.”

first of all, what even the fuck?

Brandon Scott was elected mayor of Baltimore in 2020 with over 70% of the vote. prior to being mayor, he was president of the Baltimore City Council.

Scott’s been in politics his entire life. he isn’t the result of some “diversity” program.

secondly, “prepare accordingly”? by doing what, exactly? as if the lock-and-load crowd needed another imaginary reason to add another dozen weapons to their basement arsenals.

of course it wasn’t all wall-to-wall racism from MAGA world. every crackpot under the sun used the crash as a pretext to air their own weird-ass grievances.

Fox & Friends — Fox’s romper-room-for-racists early morning chat show — demanded to know why Joe Biden was asleep at one-thirty in the morning. why can’t Joe go on all-night adderall benders like Former Fuck does?

Scarlet Dumb-Ass Nancy Mace blamed the crash on the infrastructure bill — please don’t ask me to explain the logic here — and whined that only 7,800 bridges had been repaired so far. why the fuck couldn’t Joe Biden have fixed 7,801?

Nancy, by the way, both voted against the infrastructure bill and took credit for it passing.

and remind me again how many bridges Little Donny Fuckface fixed during any of his quote-unquote “infrastructure weeks.”

accused crotch-grabber Matt Schlapp blamed the crash on “drug-addled employees” and covid lockdowns.

“I’m no expert.”

no shit, Sherlock.

there were the inevitable calls for Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg to resign.

why? was Mayor Pete responsible for the design of the bridge that was constructed five years before he was born?

maybe this idiot thinks Pete was piloting the boat.

“Mayor Pete needs to resign immediately.”

I love this response to Brigitte’s moronic tweet.

“This morning I drove by a car that ran into a road sign. It knocked the entire road sign down into pieces on the ground. Thankfully nobody was hurt, but what a failure of the Biden administration. Our infrastructure is failing. I blame Pete Buttigieg.”

Laura Loomer is just trash.

“Maybe he will tell us a sob story about how his son Beau died on the bridge.”

ugh. you can always tell a MAGA by how heartless they are.

Marjorie Three Toes’ brain worms were singing in perfect four-part harmony.

“There should be a serious investigation into the horrifying tragedy of the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Maryland. Is this an intentional attack or an accident? Praying for the victims, survivors, and families”

Sporkbrain wasn’t the only loon to honkhonkhonk about conspiracies. Alex Jones freaked the fuck out.

“Looks deliberate to me,” Jones wrote. “A cyber-attack is probable. WW3 has already started.”

Jones’ comments came in response to a post by accused sex trafficker Andrew Tate, who also claimed that the “ship was cyber-attacked” to force it to crash into the bridge.

“Nothing is safe,” Tate commented. “Black Swan event imminent.”

pro tip: don’t get your news from accused sex traffickers.

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I hate to break this to you racist fuckheads, but the doors didn’t fall off of Boeing’s planes because of black pilots. the cause was decades of cost-cutting and corporate greed.

In 2005, Boeing sold its Wichita plant to a private equity firm that slashed costs before unloading the plant to Spirit AeroSystems, which has become notorious for its deficient quality inspection practices. Boeing objected to what it said were Spirit’s high costs and inability to meet deadlines. As the workers on the shop floor and their union repeatedly noted, this led to rushed production and deficient oversight.

as of right now, we have no idea what caused the cargo ship Dali to veer off course and strike the Key bridge.

what we do know is that the Key incident is not the first crash that the Dali has been involved in.

Newsweek reported that the Maersk Line Limited-chartered MV Dali … collided with a wall in the harbor at Antwerp, Belgium in 2016. The accident, which was reported by Vessel Finder and other outlets at the time, was attributed to errors made by the ship’s master and pilot.

The 9-year-old Dali was also detained by port officials in San Antonio, Chile last June after inspectors discovered a problem related to the vessel’s “propulsion and auxiliary machinery,” according to The Washington Post, which cited records from the intergovernmental shipping regulator Tokyo MOU.

“propulsion and auxiliary machinery” problems — sounds like the Dali was an accident waiting to happen.

as for the ship’s owner, Grace Ocean Private Ltd, they seem to have quite the history of underpaying and overworking their crews.

Ships belonging to the company whose container vessel crashed into the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore on Tuesday have been cited in recent years for labor violations, which include underpaying ship crews and holding crew members onboard for months past their contracts, according to the Australian Maritime Safety Authority.

In 2021, the authority detained the Western Callao, another ship formerly owned by the company, the Singapore-based Grace Ocean Private Ltd., after it found that the management was in arrears paying 13 crew members and had kept them on the ship for more than 12 months, well beyond their nine-month contracts. In 2020, an inspection of the same ship in Australia found that eight sailors had been aboard it for more than 11 months.

will investigators find cost-cutting and corporate greed at the heart of the Dali crash?

if it is, you won’t hear about it on Fox News.