losing loser loses his unwinnable war

and for what?

Jun 18, 2026

none of this was necessary.

there was no reason for Preznit Fuckwit to tear up Obama’s Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action with Iran. he was just being a racist asshole, jealous of a black man’s accomplishments.

and there was no reason for Donny to blunder into his unwinnable don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran — a war that resulted in the deaths of US service members and innocent Iranians, and also flushed billions of dollars straight down the shitter, disrupted international shipping routes, destabilized the entire Middle East, raised the price of everything, depleted our weapons stockpile, and sent the entire world teetering on the precipice of a recession. he was just being a shit-brained imbecile who acts first and thinks never.

none of this was necessary — and all of it was dumb as fuck.

Donny went in guns blazing, all full of bluster and infantile threats to be the obliteratingest obliterator who ever obliterated an obliteration. he exits whimpering, with his tail between his legs. and for what?

where’s the victory, Donny? WHERE’S THE FUCKING VICTORY?

‘uh, it’s down there somewhere, let me take another look.’

so, what’s in this ‘memorandum of a concept of a framework of a sketch of an understanding’ that Donny signed? did he get Iran to stop enriching its nuclear material?

“you know, it is a little hard, when you say that somebody wants— other people have it. other adjoining states have it. and you’re not letting them have a for purposes of electricity and things like that. it’s always a little tough. you have to use a little common sense.”

oh, look, Donny’s suddenly Iran’s bestie. he’s empathizing with them. apparently, he had to let Iran keep their nuclear program active because it would be so unfair if he didn’t. is this the same Donny who spent the last four months yammering about how Iran was super horny to nuke us all to death, and we had to confiscate every last drop of their ‘nuclear dust’ (whatever the fuck that is), and how they couldn’t be allowed to have any of that shit, because they were all religious maniacs who couldn’t be trusted? that’s quite a one-eighty from what we’re hearing now. has Donny been replaced by a doppelganger? where’s the real Dear Leader? what have you done with him?

well then, how about conventional weapons? is Iran giving any of that up?

reporter: “you said you don’t mind Iran having ballistic missiles? can you elaborate on that?”

Donny: “I’m saying that if other countries have them, it’s a little bit unfair for them not to have some. if Saudi Arabia and Qatar, I mean they all have some, I would say in relative proportion, I think it’s okay. that’s what I mean.”

okay, so Donny’s going to allow Iran to keep the weapons its been raining down on our actual allies in the Middle East? wow, I’ll bet Qatar is super thrilled to have given Dear Leader that golden flying bordello. they really got their money’s worth.

why are we even calling what Donny signed a ‘memorandum of understanding’? let’s just be more honest and call it Donny’s Big Shitball of Failure™.

oh, and we’re giving Iran 300 billion dollars to rebuild all the shit we blew up. which — let’s be honest — we absolutely should. we broke it, we bought it. that was Colin Powell’s Pottery Barn Rule back when we were fucking shit up in Iran.

but what a waste of money. imagine what we could have done with that 300 billion right here in our own country. imagine how many Epstein Dance Halls we could have built.

and no amount of money will bring back the lives of those Iranian schoolgirls we bombed to smithereens. which, by the way, Donny doesn’t want to talk about. he says to ask Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand about it, if you can find which bus Donny just threw him under.

NYT: Can you now say whether you will hold anyone in your administration accountable for the strike on a school that killed more than 100 children?
TRUMP: No. It's such a strange question to be asked. It's a long time ago. Mistakes are made. I would ask Pete Hegseth that question.

in fact, Donny did a lot of under-bus-throwing yesterday. buh-bye, Couchfuck McGee.

DOOCY: Why not stick around for the signing ceremony of this Iran peace deal?
TRUMP: I might. But this is a memorandum of understanding. It might not be the kind of document I should be signing. If it doesn't work out, I'm blaming JD.

got that? if this Big Shitball of Failure™ works out, Donny’s going to glom all the credit. if it goes completely sideways, look out — Donny always has to have a fall guy. nothing personal, JD. it’s strictly business.

so, did Donny at least articulate a reason why he finally TACO’d this shit?

Donny: “so the one thing I didn’t want to see is— I didn’t want to see— economic catastrophe. if you— kept this going, that could have happened. but all I know is every time we talked about the possibility of peace, the stock market shot up like a rocket ship. it never went DOWN. they didn’t like it, the people— you know, the stock market is more brilliant than anybody there is, including— the people on this stage, other than me, of course. that’s uh— I don’t know, what do you think, Scott? is the stock market more brilliant than you?”

Soybean Scott Bessent: “no, sir.”

Donny: “oh, that’s uh— that’s a terrible [unintelligible]. all right, the stock market is— quite brilliant. and, uh, every time we say something— amazing, like, ‘we’re gonna settle,’ it would go up. and every time we say something negative, like, ‘guess what, we’re not gonna be able to settle,’ it would go down, very big, right Peter? very very big. tells you something.”

what. the fuck. was that?

in case you don’t have the energy to wade through that mess, with Donny out of breath and struggling to construct a coherent sentence, let me condense it down for you:

‘that stock market isn’t going to manipulate itself.’

now, because I’m a Responsible Journalist and Everything™, I went on social media and found the following chart. it compares Obama’s JCPOA to Donny’s Big Shitball of Failure™. as you scroll down the list, you can plainly see that Iran is the clear winner in every category.

are you tired of all the winning yet?

awesome job, Donny. art of the fucked-up deal, am I right? in fact, I have 2013 Donny on the phone. he’s got a bone to pick with Present Day Donny.

so, did we get anything at all out of this Big Shitpile of Failure™?

in fact, yes — yes we did. we got a brand-new word.

“it seems like the agreement is very much undertoke.”

undertoke. dear sweet lord, what a nincompoop.

oh, and we also got the supreme pleasure of watching Dear Leader sign his Big Shitpile of Failure™ in the exact same spot where a humiliated Germany surrendered after losing World War One.

French President Emmanuel Macron pulls off what could be the greatest diplomatic troll of all time by getting Trump to sign the "$300 Billion US Surrender to Iran" deal in... Versailles. The ignoramus Trump will have been clueless as to the historical significance of the location

what a dumbfuck. he let Macron goad him into scrawling that fucked-up klan-hood signature all over his Shitball™ at the Palace of Versailles because he had no clue of its significance. what an easily-played moron. Iran got the best of him, and so did Macron.

I get so tired of having to be continually resetting the ‘embarrassment’ ticker back to zero.

the whole world is laughing at us right now — and none of this was necessary.

let’s get out of here with some Daily Claudia.

here’s Ms. Spouse deciding what to have for lunch at the Windjammer Surf Bar in Westerly, Rhode Island, on September 10, 2024.

I love this place. look at it, it sits right next to the Atlantic Ocean.

and here’s some selfie action from June 4, 2022.

have a great Thursday, everyone. don’t get one undertoke over the line.

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.