Republicans fucking love gun laws, but only if it’s Hunter Biden who gets prosecuted

the ‘shall not be infringed’ crowd finds their exception

there’s this dipshit down in Texas who fucking loves his guns. he doesn’t just love having guns, he loves shooting them. he’ll shoot them anywhere, anyplace, and at anything — into the air, into houses, and at random bystanders.

but what he loves shooting at most are his former girlfriends.

now it just so happens that shooting at your former girlfriends crosses a line even down in gun-happy Texas, and so the local authorities confiscated his guns.

what the fuck, cried the dipshit, this is so unfair — my Second Amendment rights are being infringed!

Republicans everywhere nodded in agreement. give this dipshit his guns back, they demanded. what part of ‘shall not be infringed’ do you not understand?

the Texas dipshit sued to get his guns back, and the six conservative members of our Supreme Court have agreed to hear the case during its next session.

over in Florida, they just passed this awesome new law — anyone can carry a concealed weapon, no permit required.

that’s right, any random nitwit can walk into a Florida gun store, plunk down their money, shove the gun down their pants, and walk out. no paperwork. no proof of need, no proof of sanity, no nothing.

Republicans everywhere cheered, and similar laws are now working their way through various state legislatures.

because what part of ‘shall not be infringed’ do you not understand?

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“shall not be infringed.”

Republicans love screaming this phrase. they scream it any time anyone suggests reasonble gun control legislation.

every time there’s a mass shooting, “shall not be infringed” trends all over social media.

because being a Republican in good standing means you have to believe that every single person deserves free and unfettered access to guns — no matter who the person, no matter what the situation.

because what part of ‘shall not be infringed’ do you not understand?

except …

Hunter Biden indicted on three federal gun charges

Prosecutors in Delaware brought three gun-related charges against Hunter Biden on Thursday, with a grand jury indicting the president’s son after special counsel David Weiss said he would pursue charges following the evaporation of a plea deal.

Hunter Biden was indicted on three minor gun-related charges — and every Republican pissed themselves with glee while doing cartwheels.

that’s right, the party of Second Amendment absolutists finally found a gun law they can embrace — as long as it’s used against the president’s son.

the utter fucking hypocrisy of these people.

if this were anyone not named Hunter Biden, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex would be fucking apoplectic right now, because this is exactly the kind of case that would normally have the gun fetishists screaming about prosecutorial overreach — a minor paperwork charge that is rarely brought against anyone.

not only that, but one court has already ruled that the law Hunter Biden has been accused of violating is unconstitutional.

A federal appeals court in August struck down a decades-old law barring users of illegal drugs from possessing firearms.

seriously, if you believe that all Americans should have the untrammeled right to weapons of mass death without filing paperwork, then you have to believe that right extends to Hunter Biden, yes? or are you a tribal score-settling hypocrite?

because what part of ‘shall not be infringed’ do you not understand?

look, I’m not here to defend Hunter Biden. if he broke the law, let him face consequences.

but mark this: every hypocritical Republican who just found gun control religion is going to totally fucking lose their shit the next time a person not named Hunter Biden gets nailed for a minor gun-related infraction.