let’s mock all the stupid shit Republicans said on the Sunday shows

pass the popcorn and settle in

“I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”
— Edith Sitwell

I’m right there with you, Dame Edith.

Republicans fanned out all over the cable shows this weekend, and the stupid was so fucktastically thick you could cut it with a knife.

check out puppy-perforator Kristi Noem.

“they as countries have an opportunity to—”

wait — let me stop you right there, pardner. Kristi, what the fuck are you wearing? are we doing cowboy cosplay now? whoopie-ti-yi-yo, git along little homeland security director?

Noem’s been doing this performative dress-up nonsense since being confirmed as DHS head. she obviously believes her job is to find a camera to stand in front of and play bad-ass make-believe.

sure, because all ICE agents get their hair blown out and movie-star makeup done before going out and ‘getting dirt-bags off the streets.’

what’s the message here?

don’t fucking cross me, I will aerate you. don’t believe me? just ask my puppy, Cricket. oh wait, you can’t.

here’s how Noem dressed for an appearance on Fox last week.

remember Alejandro Mayorkas, Joe Biden’s DHS chief? the GOP hated Mayorkas, because he kept his head down and quietly did his job. he didn’t go on Rachel Maddow’s show all tarted up as John Wayne in Stagecoach.

by the way, this is a thing I wrote when the puppy-slaughter story first came out.

I was so wrong. I completely underestimated the Republican Party’s capacity for wanton cruelty. their barrel has no bottom.

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here’s reality show has-been Sean Duffy

“the mission of DOT and FAA is safety. that has been the historic mission of this agency. and over the last four years, when they’re having a conversation in the last administration about changing names, from ‘cockpit’ to ‘flight deck’ … because it’s too gender-specific? they’re focused on social justice.”

seriously? planes are falling out of the sky because of nomenclature?

I hate to burst Sean’s fragile male bubble, but planes have been crashing since there have been planes. calling that front bit a ‘cockpit’ has not magically kept them in the sky when shit’s gone sideways.

but if we’re going to back to phallocentric names for where the pilots sit, let’s go whole hog. how about we call it ‘the lair of the throbbing pantsmonster’?

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oh look, they let creepy Couchfuck McGee loose from wherever they’ve been keeping him squirreled away.

“people don’t realize. you’ve probably got 55,000 people living on Greenland who are not actually happy with Danish government.”

yeah, no. fuck straight off with this gaslighting. first of all, the population of Greenland is 56,865. Couchfuck wants you to believe that 96.7% of them are anxiously awaiting American annexation. what kind of fever-swamp hallucination is that?

why don’t we look at some actual numbers.

New polling said 85 percent of the self-ruling Danish territory’s population are against the idea of becoming part of the U.S., as President Donald Trump repeatedly voices his desire to acquire Greenland.

remember when Individual-1 Junior and misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk did their pathetic little Greenland photo up? the whole purpose of that stunt was to display how eager Greenlanders were to become Americans. there was only one problem: they couldn’t find a single person to show up for it. they had to bribe homeless folks with the promise of a free lunch.

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let’s catch up with the laziest man in American politics, coming back from a weekend of golf at Motel-a-Lago

“we may have short term, some, a little pain. and people understand that.”

I’m sorry, what? we’re going to have some pain? this lying fuck just spent eight years spinning a bullshit fairy tale about how tariffs are paid by the countries of origin — but now that we’re actually living under these disastrous tariffs, the truth dribbles out? and no, the pain is not going to be ‘short term.’

don’t you fucking dare piss on my head and tell me it’s raining, Donny.

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not all the dipshittery from the wingnuts was on TV — a lot of it was on social media

“Had Canada been treating us fairly, this would never have happened. So, buckle up Canada, you’re taking on Goliath.”

I’m sorry, what was Canada doing that was so unfair? existing? I fucking swear, these grievance-baby bellyachers all have shoulders so piled high with chips that it’s a wonder they don’t tip over.

oh, by the way — are you really sure you want to be comparing the United States to Goliath? over to you, Reader’s Notes.

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speaking of tariffs, Bruce MacKinnon, the editorial cartoonist at the Halifax Chronicle-Herald, drew this last November. no newspaper would touch it. I think we should spread it around.

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let’s have a look at what the good guys were up to this weekend.

Justin Wolfers is a professor of economics and public policy at the Gerald R. Ford School of Public Policy and the University of Michigan. settle in anD watch him completely eviscerate this happy-talk Bloomberg host who is so excited about life under Trumponomics. as he puts it, “this is what happens when you ask me to help sanewash the Trump tariffs.”

host: “but on the flip side, if my taxes are lower does that offset those higher avocados and maple syrup?”

Wolfers: “wait. whose taxes are lower? I haven’t seen a tax plan, have you?”

host: “well no, but I mean, well if I have more money in my paycheck, won’t I have more money for my eggs and syrup?”

Wolfers: “wait, who put more money in your paycheck? I’m not getting that.”

host: “well, eventually that’s the goal, right? that the Trump administration is going help lower people’s taxes.”

Wolfers: “so this, then, is a different argument, that it’s not about the trade deficit. that we’re moving from one set of taxes — income taxes — to a different set of taxes: taxes on imports. fair enough, you might want that. but let’s think a little about what that does and who that hits. who imports stuff from Canada and Mexico? the answer is, most of us. that’s where our fresh fruit and vegetables come from. it’s a fairly big share of the spending of middle- and working-class Americans. income taxes, of course, really hit those with big incomes. so if we are talking about moving from income taxes to tariffs, what we’re talking about is moving from fairly progressive income taxes towards very very regressive tariffs.”

what Wolfers is basically saying to our overenthusiastic host is that tariffs are taxes. stop living in a fantasy world.

now watch Jasmine Crockett open up a big can of we fucking warned you.

“well he did say he’d be a dictator on day one. ‘oh Democrats, you know, it’s just Trump. he just talks.’ well let me tell you something. he is doing more than talking. we talked about Project 2025, we talked about the consolidation of power, we talked about how he wanted to be a king … the problem is that Americans thought it was okay to take a full-fledged criminal and make him the president of the United States, and then they want to act aghast when he does criminal things. let me tell you, we have a thug in charge of the United States — and if we don't wake up, we may not have a United States.”

we need more Democrats like Crockett.

in a world of Chuck Schumers — who spent the weekend ineffectually tweeting through it —

— be a Jasmine Crockett.

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lastly, here are your heroes of the day.

LOS ANGELES (KABC) — Thousands of people marched in downtown Los Angeles Sunday in protest of President Trump’s planned mass deportations blocking several streets and taking over the 101 Freeway, causing “major gridlock,” according to the Los Angeles Police Department.

fuck yeah. get angry. stay angry.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.