Kristi Noem just took her political future and shot it in the face

and Kari Lake wears out her welcome at Motel-a-Lago

last week, South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem was just another forced-birth fuckface.

if she was in the news at all, it was because of her medieval reproductive health policies. just eight days ago, she was explaining why she favored a complete ban on abortion, with no exception for rape or incest. so, your basic no-frills Republican.

that was last week.

this week, she’s That Psycho Who Murdered The Shit Out Of A Puppy.

and that, my friends, is how easy it is to take your political future, drag it to a gravel pit, and shoot it in the face.

holy shit, what an unforced self-immolation. why? why put it in a book that you shot a dog? “I hated that dog” — those are Kristi’s own words. why talk about it at all?

here’s why: because it was cruel — and because Kristi Noem wants to be Donny Demento’s vice presidential pick. what better way to impress the most sadistic son of a bitch on the planet than to show how enthusiastic you are about slaughtering a tail-wagging bundle of happiness?

Kristi expected to be hailed as a liberator, with grateful conservatives throwing flowers in her path. what she didn’t expect was backlash — from her own party.

“She can’t be VP now. You can’t shoot your dog and then be VP.”

sorry, Kristi, Republicans are into cruelty only when it’s unleashed on people.

if Kristi wanted to impress Dear Leader, she could have strung razor wire death traps across the Rio Grande. that shit would have been awesome.

she could have dragged babies from their migrant mothers’ arms, and disappeared them into a series of concentration camps — and then lost the paperwork. Stephen Miller would have orgasmed on the spot.

she could have forced a ten-year-old child to give birth to her rapist stepfather’s baby. Republicans would have stood up and cheered.

she could have gone on TV after the next school shooting and explained that dead children are the unfortunate — but necessary — price a country has to pay for freedom. fuck yeah, that’s the kind of shooting the GOP’s into.

but shoot a dog? that’s a bridge too far.

Fox News bloviator Jason Chaffetz was fucking horrified.

“I give her a A-plus for being honest about it, but she just destroyed her political career. I don’t think there’s anybody on any side of the aisle, any human being that thinks it’s acceptable to go to a gravel pit and shoot a dog in the face and kill it when it’s 14 months old. That’s. I mean, that’s just hideous. So she’s done politically, and I’m a friend of hers. I served with her, but politically, there’s no recovering from this.”

Noem’s rivals for the Trump Veepstakes smell blood in the water, and they’ve begun to circle.

“Everyone wish Sushi a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! She’s brought our family so much joy & tons of laughs over the years. Jeff and I are so busy on the campaign trail, sometimes I wish we could just bring our Pug along. Should we?!”

Kari Lake’s been humping the leg of Donald Trump for some time now. she’s pretty much moved full-time into Donny’s dilapidated Florida golf motel, so she can constantly be by his side, and — uh oh — it’s not having its intended effect.

But since Lake jumped into the race, Trump has repeatedly expressed skepticism about her political prospects in a state he sees as key to his bid to return to the White House, and has shown annoyance with her frequent presence at his Florida resort, according to five people close to him, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe his comments.

At one point last year, after grumbling for months that she was at his Mar-a-Lago Club too often, Trump gently suggested to Lake that she should leave the club and hit the campaign trail in Arizona, according to a person with direct knowledge of his comments.

draping yourself all over Trump and being constantly in his face is no way to curry favor (unless you’re Ivanka, or look like her), because Dear Leader has his own cruel streak — he’s never going to give something to anyone who openly shows how much they want it. fuck that shit. better to crush their dreams right in their face, and watch the life drain out of their eyes.

buh-bye, Kari.

as for Kristi, she’s doubling down on the stupid. what, you thought she would try some damage control? fuck damage control. let’s shoot damage control in the face, too, while we’re at it, and brag about how sometimes you have no choice but to murder a puppy.

I can understand why some people are upset about a 20 year old story of Cricket, one of the working dogs at our ranch, in my upcoming book — No Going Back. The book is filled with many honest stories of my life, good and bad days, challenges, painful decisions, and lessons learned.

My hope is anyone reading this book will have an understanding that I always work to make the best decisions I can for the people in my life. The fact is, South Dakota law states that dogs who attack and kill livestock can be put down. Given that Cricket had shown aggressive behavior toward people by biting them, I decided what I did.

got that? the law says Kristi Noem can kill the shit out of all the animals she wants. but the law doesn’t say it’s advisable to brag about it in a book, and murder your own political future.

Kristi Noem may never get to be vice president, but she’s still a problematic, ethically-challenged governor.

Noem is also a person who will unapologetically use her gun-toting toddler granddaughter as a prop to score political points at a convention of the National Rifle Association and apparently doesn’t understand the ethical problems of using her office to lean on government departments simply to get her daughter a real estate appraisers’ license. We’re not exactly talking about a non-sociopath here.

and she’s still a forced-birth fuckface, endangering the lives of women in her state.