Jim Jordan and James Comer can’t stop fucking that chicken

the Jimmies came out of their hidey-holes yesterday and got dog-piled by the media

it takes a special kind of stupid to show your traitorous face in public the day after you’ve been outed for gleefully doing the bidding of Russian spies, and the Treason Twins — James Comer and Jim Jordan — are just that kind of stupid.

the Jimmies came out of their hidey-holes yesterday and — holy shit! — they got fucking dog-piled by the media.

Jimmy Jords: “it doesn’t change the fundamental facts.”
reporter: “it doesn’t change the facts? it does change the facts, because they’re no longer facts.”

exactly. that’s how facts work.

Republicans have spent the last forty years gaslighting the rubes into believing that facts are opinions, and reality is whatever Dear Leader and his henchmen say it is —but at the end of the day, facts are facts, lies are bullshit, and lies peddled by Russian spies and repeated by treasonweasels like the Jimmies are the most insidious form of treachery.

the degenerate wrestling coach stuck to this hogwash.

CNN reporter Manu Raju: “you said the 1023 is the most corroborating piece of information.” 
Jordan: “it corroborates, but it doesn’t change those fundamental facts.”
Raju: “but it’s not true.”

“1023,” by the way, is a reference to the FBI document that details what indicted liar Alexander Smirnov told them.

Republicans treat the existence of this 1023 form as sacrosanct proof of Biden wrongdoing — but the fact is, any time anyone contacts the FBI, a 1023 is generated. you could call the FBI right now and claim that your uncle is a toaster oven and the government is covering it up, and even though the agent who took your call is rolling their eyes, they’re still obligated to generate a 1023 about it and shove it into a file cabinet somewhere.

don’t take my word for it. here’s the FBI’s own explanation.

“the FD-1023 is the form our special agents use to record raw, unverified reporting from confidential human sources (CHSs).”

got that? raw. unverified. and in the case of disgraced Russian agent Smirnov, deliberate disinformation.

even Fox News joined the pile-on.

Jessica Tarlov: “this is the path that they have chosen to take, and honestly, I’m surprised that they have this high of a threshold for humiliation. every witness they have called has decimated their arguments.”

Jordan and Comer have an infinite threshold for humiliation, because the Jimmies are chickenfuckers — and chickenfuckers will never stop fucking that chicken.

need proof? the whole reason the Jimmies were out in public yesterday — the House is not in session this week, and these clowns didn’t need to be in DC — was because they were holding more impeachment hearings. yup, not 36 hours after we learned that their whole house of cards is built on Russian fuckery, they were back in business, tormenting James Biden for the high crime of being Joe’s brother.

President Joe Biden “never had any involvement” in the business dealings of other members of his family, his brother James Biden testified Wednesday when he appeared for a voluntary private interview on Capitol Hill as part of House Republicans' impeachment inquiry.

the phrase “private interview” should be setting off alarm bells, because Comer & Co.’s whole deal is lying about what happens behind closed doors — and sure enough…

Republicans came out and told reporters, without citing details, that James Biden’s responses contradicted his opening statement and that he had made efforts to avoid directly answering investigators' questions.

“without citing details” — beautiful. James Biden should have seen this coming.

by nightfall, Comer and Jordan had concocted an all-new excuse for looking like damned fools — it wasn’t our fault — and also something-something-Russia — and they went on Hannity to give it a spin.

Jordan: “I would also say that Scott Brady, U.S. Attorney in the Western District of Pennsylvania, checked out this confidential human source, and he told us in his deposition under oath he thought this guy had the credibility. he checked him out some. so that’s what we knew.

got that? Jim’s squeaky-clean here, because someone else told him he thought it might be true.

“but what’s interesting, Sean, is that in 2016 it was a Russian operation, the Trump-Russia collusion. we knew that was baloney.”

yeah, except Trump-Russia collusion wasn’t baloney — but the Jimmies had their new talking point, and the Hog Romancer took this ball and ran with it.

“you know, they’re going to play the Russia card again, and everyy time they get backed into a corner, they start playing the Russia card.”

holy shit, it’s not “playing the Russia card” if you just got caught red-handed consorting with Russian spies.

the Jimmies need to resign now, but they won’t.

in fact, these two shitheads are the luckiest fuckers in the universe, because as things stand now, they will never face consequences for carrying water for Russia. Holy Mike Johnson and his confederates will never investigate the Jimmies’ treason, and Comer and Jordan will absolutely be able to RussiaRussiaRussia their crimes right under the rug.

but if the Democrats retake the House in November, these two nitwits may find themselves in a world of shit.

here’s Mary Trump to lay it out.

If and when Democrats take over the House in January 2025, both men will face a Democratic majority who are ready to hold them accountable.

Key questions they’ll be forced to answer:

a) When did Comer & Jordan know the FBI was suspicious of Smirnov?
b) If they knew, why didn’t they immediately retract the Smirnov story?
c) What contact did they have with other “informants” about this Biden story who may have been linked to Russian agents?

The consequences range from censure to criminal charges. I would say it’s hard to think of any other Republicans in Congress more deserving, but the truth is it would be extremely easy to come up with dozens of them.

from your lips to Hakeem Jeffries’ ears, Mary.

---

hey, Dementia Don is glitching again. here he is, last night on Fox News:

“we’re going to take over Washington DC, we’re going to federalize, we’re going to have very powerful crime.”

yes, I absolutely believe Donny is telling the truth here — because if there’s anything the 91-criminial-count rapist business fraud tax cheat knows, it’s how to have very powerful crime.