312 Comments
author

holy shit, an earthquake struck the Hudson valley as I was finishing this up. all typos are the fault of tectonic plates

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author
Apr 5·edited Apr 5Author

Ms. Spouse is from Los Angeles and she was at the epicenter of a 7.2 earthquake in the 1970s, and she's laughing at all of us right now for thinking this one's worth noticing

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Tell Ms. Spouse that I’m with her. Along the eastern Sierra, we have clusters of 2.0 - 4.7 every day. My house has quake deco.; all the pictures on the wall are slanted and all the doors are crooked. My daughter’s family is in the Bay Area (mom, don’t put those cups so close to the edge of the shelf, and here’s the gas shut off.)

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I've lived in So Cal for 62 years. I'm an earthquake veteran. Big ones , little ones, just another day in paradise.

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Same here, I remember the 1970’s one. My mother screaming, my dad cool as a cucumber, since he’d grown up in San Pedro where earthquakes weren’t uncommon. No school for us that day.

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Hahahahahah——Oh Ms. Spouse!!! lol

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founding

Was sitting in the car (parked, playing the bi-weekly game of hide 'n' seek with the NYC street sweeper) and thought someone had started rocking the car (damn kids!) but then went into "Is that an earthquake?" mode. No outward signs, telephone poles swaying, etc., so I convinced myself that the SUV parked just behind me had started and was revving its engine. A few minutes later, my iPhone went off with an earthquake alert. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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founding

Just waiting patiently to see who the right wing nut jobs blame for the quake; Immigrants? Trans kids? DEI quotas in the USGS?

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Had to be Biden falling off his bike. LOL! Oh how the right wing media is in a frenzy right now coming up with the best scenario the viewers will buy!

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Woke excavation companies!

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DEI definitely. They’re the ones we have to keep down, so they’re closest to the Earth. And Mother Earth is getting really pissed about our attitude 😂

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I lived a 1/2 block from a subway station in Manhattan for 5 years. My California roommate said the shaking felt just like home.

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🤣 🤣 🤣

The closest thing that I felt to an earthquake in the Ohio Valley was when Mt. St. Helen blew her ass off in the 80's. Sitting with my grandma watching TV and the whole house jumped. It was freaky and everyone was freaking out that we felt it, but if I remember correctly, it was felt all the way to the East Coast.

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Oh my! I remember that well. I was a senior in high school. Of course, school wasn't canceled because why would it be just for a little ole earthquake. We had after shocks throughout the day and we all just sat at our desks as instructed by the nuns and priests. Fun day! LOL!

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My daughter lives in L.A. and I texted her and I had the same reaction from her!

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I’m also laughing from San Diego!lol

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I'm with your wife—4.7 earthquake is "Oh, guess the paperbacks got rearranged!"

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I’m from the east coast now on the west where while not being so afraid of earth quakes they believe our apocalyptic thunderstorms back east would be impossible to live with.

It’s what you’re used to.

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author

https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/05/us/earthquake-nye-nj-northeast/index.html

I was in fact so discombobulated by the house shaking that I clicked "send" on this piece without making two revisions I had intended to. c'est la vie

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I’m sorry you guys were so upset by the earthquake, but as a California native (now Oregon) I do have a piece of advice. Go under a sturdy table away from glass. If you don’t have a table large enough to get under, doorways are an option, again away from glass/mirrors. Or high bookcases. Also, thank your personal deity it wasn’t Taiwan

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I’m in the snow belt of California.. didn’t feel a damn thing.. because I’m frozen 🥶

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Come on down where I am in Panamá(as in the country of). It’s going to get up to 90+° here. No freezing allowed.

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Hawaiian.. in snow is an oxymoron.. and I’m adding more wood to the wood stove.. I’m so damn cold 🥶

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😥. My kids and I made our dream trip to Scotland just a year before I moved from NC down here and I had some gorgeous wool and cashmere sweaters and scarves that, of course, were useless down here. Had to sell or give away everything?

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Birds of a feather. I’m a California native now in Oregon as well.

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I'm an Oregonian who lived in far northern CA for 22 years. Shakers have been a way of life all my life.

If you want chapter and verse on earthquake and tsunamis safety, read up on Dr. Lori Dengler.

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Thanks, bookmarked some

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I have family in Medford

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I miss the diversity of food (I live in southern Oregon) and people, but love the climate and new friends I’ve made.

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I’m further north so food diversity is plentiful. Agreed on the climate and friends.

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And secure the dadgum bookcases to the wall, y'all. Easy little bracket, worth the trouble cuz those babies can easy kill ya.

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Jeff, one of these days we're all going to turn on you because of your disgusting typos! There's only so much we can stand!

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😂😂😂😂. A true travesty!

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My experience is that the only effective therapy for a perfectionist is to tell them that they are going to be beat halfway to death for the next tiny mistake they make. Sometimes, this helps them see things in a more realistic perspective.

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Apr 5·edited Apr 5

Beaten. :)

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It isn't easy being a perfectionist!

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Oh la la, you roue 😉

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Keep shoes/slippers by the bed and put them on!! Glass.

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author

HOLY SHIT the epicenter was Donald Trump's New Jersey wife cemetery https://twitter.com/AnnaBower/status/1776273207223312601

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Lol, too bad all those documents in her casket didn’t come flying out.

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They don’t even have to open it. Just scan it. We’ll see she’s not alone. Sad.

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It’s Ivana’s enraged ghost 👻

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And who ever said the nature doesn’t have a sense of humor.

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She may have a sense of humor today but she is getting pissed at all our foolishness and may make a move to wake us up(we’ll get “woke”). By the way, there is a volcano exploding down here in Costa Rica to add to the rest of the excitement in the world.

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Oh, are you in a safe spot? There is so much in the world that is absolutely heinous. Nature should shrug us humans off her crust and keep all the other critters. Wars, genocide, terrorism, and the wanton starvation of children at home and abroad. But I am determined today to be in a good mood for 12 hours. I’ve set my kitchen timer.

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Oooh, I experienced some earthquakes when I spent a few months in Costa Rica. Pretty scary!

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I wish!

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Not to make fun, but when I first heard the news about an earthquake I thought maybe judge Merchan dropped the gavel on the Orange Lunatic.

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😂🔨

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"Tectonic plates. Is that what you call a Smith-Corona these days?"

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founding

Stay safe Jeff and family. We need your humor to survive the next several months 😜

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Jeff, that snake oil salesman image is the best shot of dump i have ever seen, wonder if we can get that on a t-shirt.

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It is perfect! Tells the entire story! “ a picture is worth a thousand words!”

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Wow! I'm in Southern CT and my house shook, which has never happened before. It was quick. It scared me because I don't know what it was. Tremor? Idk.

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Philly too!

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Never experienced an earthquake before. Thankfully, it was brief.

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Tremors felt here in Mystic, CT.

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Hope you are all right!!!!!!!!

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author
Apr 5·edited Apr 5Author

yeah. actually the epicenter was about 75 miles away, in northern NJ. but the whole house shook for at least 30 seconds

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Same in Delaware county. Is the world coming to an end? 🙄 If so, please let's get Donny in Jail first.

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Absolutely...FIRST THINGS FIRST, and this jail thing has been waiting a LOOONG time!

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I was in the garage and I’m in Burlington County. The door and shelves were rattling. I sat down on a chair because the floor was rumbling. 4.8 was a long rumble!

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I also live in Burlington County, it was pretty long.

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Of COURSE, it's New Jersey.

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LOL😂😂😂😂😂

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Mine shook like that too, and I live in South Jersey.

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Pffft, you call THAT an earthquake? 😁

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Felt/heard in Bucks County too 😬

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Oh sure, Jeff: the old “my homework is messed up because of an earthquake” excuse! 🤣

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We felt it here in Providence, RI, too!!

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Stay Safe

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Same here on Long Island! I thought the house was going to crumble down on me!

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Yeah we felt it in South Jersey and Philly.

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😂😂

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Doesn’t anyone else find it ironic that the name of the guy who bailed him out is named Mr. Hankey?

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author

I'm pretty sure the entire internet is having fun with that

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founding

I tried explaining to my husband why that was kinda funny but got a blank stare. Guess you gotta be a South Park fan.

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deletedApr 5
Comment deleted
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It must be a Dutch expression

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So, Trump got a bond from a used car salesman and two days later the wheels fell off.

Who saw that coming?

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Like when Tiger hit that tree and 17 women fell out.

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Ironic and hilarious! South Park fans are probably laughing so hard they haven't been able to stand up since they first heard about it!

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Yep! Just found my (ancient) Mr Hankey Poo stuffie amongst Christmas decorations. He’s coming up off season to keep me laughing about the turd 💩 who bailed Trump out- ish

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That beats the f outta elf on the shelf!

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This SP fan had a great laugh over it. Gotta dig out my Mr Hankey stuffies from about 30 years ago. So cute!

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That’s what started the earthquake

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As in Mr Hankey Poo, from South Park?

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Yes. Literally, a piece of shit.

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😂

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mr hankey barely edges out towlie and garrison for grossest character on SP

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Totally. Classic SP and wow! We have our own Mr Hankey now who is also substantively the same as the one who lives in the toilet and sewers

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Wanna get high?

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LOL, I already am, uhhh, oh, you are talking about Towlie? 😂😂😂

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Mr. Haney was Fatboys childhood mentor ,The ultimate Snake oil huckster! Looks like he is a bona-ride conman not just a Green Acres character! He’s been doing shady deals with Asshole mouth for years ! What a fucken surprise,😲 Diaper Don doing business with a scumbag just like himself! More delays at the very least ,the scams just keep coming,guess this is going to be another ploy the courts will do nothing about!🤬

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bet he's connected to putin.

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Yeah, really. That was my first thought. The reserves may suddenly be increased from some "unknown" benefactor.

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Wow! I must be getting old,I-knew nothing of South Parks character Mr. Hankey ,guess scumbags and T.V. Shows are forever things , the Apprentice should have tipped me off ,although I could only watch 5 minutes of one episode and not 🤢🤮

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Repo Man!

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That's some funny shit. Go figure this guy has the same name as the talking turd from South Park. One turd attempting to bail out the orange turd and now the bond is as sketchy as a typical Trump deal. It never ends.

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Isn't he the talking turd on SOUTHPARK ?

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💩.. hehehe couldn’t help myself..

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Hidi Ho!

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😂😂

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Oh I thought his name was Mr. Skanky, my bad.😬

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One fine day the witch hunt will finally be over, and we can joyfully sing Ding Dong the Witch is Dead. There will be joy throughout the land and a great celebration will be had because djt will be dead, dead, dead. A guy can dream, right? Please feel free to sing along, it helps heal the troubled soul. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPIdRJlzERo

Once there was a wicked witch in the lovely land of USA

And a wickeder, wickeder, wickeder witch there never, never was

He filled the folks in this old land with terror and with dread

'Till one fine day from DC way a cyclone caught his house

That brought the wicked, wicked witch his doom

As he was flying on his broom

For the house fell on his head and the coroner pronounced him dead

And thru the land the joyous news was spread

Ding-dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch

Ding-dong, the wicked witch is dead

Wake up, you sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed

Wake up, the wicked witch is dead!

He's gone where the goblins go below, below, below, yo ho Let's open up and sing, and ring the bells out

Ding-dong! the merry-o sing it high, sing it low

Let them know the wicked witch is dead

(apologies to E.Y.Harburg, lyricist)

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Congratulations on this MASTERPIECE, Hoyt!! Still singing, happily, with gusto! (Harburg would be proud!)

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I told my kids that I’d request that song at my funeral as payback for their adolescent shenanigans that caused me great angst. Of course, they didn’t think it was funny, but I sure loved the idea. 😉😆

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My granddaughter has been instructed to give me the Junior Birdman up-up-and-away salute at my funeral. We’ve practiced the goggles bit.

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We could all use a bit of whimsy this morning: https://youtu.be/fDGKLi_VRlY?si=6Ip8241WeGAussMi

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😊😊😊

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😂😂😂

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I love the image of Putin’s Paramour flying around on a broom, but I think he’s too heavy to get off the ground.

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😂😂😂

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👏👏👏👏👏👏

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Dogs. Dogs can smell drugs and explosives. Train dogs to smell scoundrels and go after them. Start in Mar-A-Lardo.

Life may be a game to Donald J Trump but he doesn't seem to enjoy it much at all. Maybe he spends too much time in courtrooms because he spent too much time on golf courses. He cheated there too.

The American people know that Trump stole documents and lots more that he was not supposed to. He's a criminal and we all know it. Everyone that deals with him is a criminal by association at the very least.

"Judge Aileen" is not going to get away with giving Trump a fat juicy kiss. Hopefully the 11th Circuit will kick her to the curb.

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founding

I hear Biden's dog needs something to do...

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CHRISTIANITY is the last refuge of SCOUNDRELS.

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It’s the first

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That is so true Kristy!!

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I’d start looking into Judge Fangirl’s bank accounts and any she may have opened in the latest tax haven offshore. She is getting something to so publicly look like a complete idiot. It would be so wonderful if the mandamus somehow could get her ass locked off of the case.. you talk about a conflict of interest!!! There is definitely one here.

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Apparently Cannon's husband, Josh Lorence, worked for Florida based, ex-NY mobster John Rosatti. John Rosatti is Trump's lifelong friend and contributor. This isn't from a reputable news org. But raises eyebrows and deserves further investigation.

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She got the Federal judge for life gig which is pretty valuable.

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I'm hopeful the 11th Circuit will tire of the future Mrs. Prison Apprentice and shift her to cases involving speeding golf carts or parking garage crimes.

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That might even be too much for her to handle.

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I’m sick of seeing that stupid woman’s picture with her Mona Lisa smile. I just want to smash a pie made of shit in her stupid face. So despicable!

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Scary staring Mona Lisa type mug… why does media keep using her old headshot

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Like I said a totally BLANK FACE

Kinda psychopathic in my never to be humble opinion.

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No "there", there, huh.

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I completely agree.. stuff that MAGAt judges face straight into a shit pie💩💩💩💩💩💩 keeping her fat pudgy finger on the scales of justice 🤬

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Looks like some stupid high school photo. She must think she looks good otherwise she’d have a few more to chose from.

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Yes!!!

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Judge Fangirl is an actual midnight judge confirmed after he'd lost. She's incompetent and got her thumb on the scale. Just what he wants

Remove the case to Miami.

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Judge Fangirl…another masterpiece for Friday.

Thanks Jeff and fellow travelers, have a great weekend.

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That Fan girl judge has GOT TO GO! Talk about incompetent! The Bond business doesnt surprise me...shady assholes stick together, I suppose. But Cannon has got to be taken off the case asap. Who do I need to call? 😂😂😂 Have a good weekend, all you fine people. ✌️ 💙😜

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Some sleazy, unethical lawyer has to be guiding the fangirl, like maybe someone like John Eastman (not accusing). Time to fire the cannon.

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I’ve always thought that someone else was behind all these lawyers for him except one in NY who Neal and Alan all gave thumbs up to. But the FL judge - definitely someone up her robe pulling those strings. Come on, Jack, bust a move. Does Garland have to sign off on that decision? I think I’m glad he didn’t get on the SC. I’ll just say it. I don’t trust garland.

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I think he would have made a terrific SC judge. Not so great as USAG😞

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The first thing I said after hearing the analysis of the ruling.

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Totally agree Jane!!

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founding

Why were Knight and Trump given ten more days? Every can keeps getting kicked farther down the road. Why can’t James act now? Does she not know what to do or does she just not dare to do it? I thought she was fearless, now I’m not sure. We know Trump is threatening families.

wtf?

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Thanks Fox. Wish there were answers to your questions.

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founding

There’s still no answer on why the bond was reduced in the first place.

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And have you noticed it’s always on a Tuesday. I don’t know about anyone else, but I always have work on my desk Monday morning bright and f**** early!!

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🤬

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Smith's pretty savvy, he knows what fangirl's trying to do. She's deluded herself into thinking she's slick and pulling a fast one on him. He'll eventually hand the newbie her own head.

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she's an empty vessel. i think trump's lawyers are calling the shots and trump is calling the shots with his lawyers. i know he's too dumb to know about legal stuff, but he's making her stick to the bullshit Presidential Act which has nothing to do with the case. To me that's the proof trumps grimy fingerprints are all over this.

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No proof but sincerely believe she is getting advice from somewhere "higher up" such as a SCOTUS Justice like Thomas.

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I agree. Not like Thomas, highly likely it is Thomas. Wouldn’t that be a miracle if they both were caught. Her staff has been quitting left and right. Wish one would become a whistleblower 😁

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Oh gosh. Haven't read where her staff is qutting... A federal judge losing staff is odd at best. TY for letting us know.

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Saw it on MSNBC yesterday

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Whistleblower time. Love this. But Jack Smith needs that AND more.

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Ken, I think you are spot on about Jack Smith knowing 1) Cannon wants one thing: to kill this case forever through double jeopardy and 2) he has to trap her and pronounce checkmate. Nothing less will do. Cannon is surely getting guidance from SCOTUS or other Federalist Society hacks on how to free Trump. THIS is the most slam dunk case against Trump, everyone knows it and that's why they will stop at nothing to kill it. We have witnessed Aileen execute some pretty impressive dodgery. She's heaped on the nonsense - "This isn't even based in fact!" everyone cries, as if they've won ground against Aileen. Wake up. Aileen doesn't give a fig about her reputation. She is getting an earful of promises from the dark side and she is more than happy to do their bidding. Hopefully Jack Smith understands in his bones that he is up against extremely nefarious foes and it's a personal challenge for him to Eliot Ness the whole crew. Writ of mandamus is NOT enough. Team Cannon was ready for that. Jack Smith needs the "Miss Slone" energy: THIS movie trailer articulates the strategy. Game on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMUkfmUu44k

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Except he needs the 11th circuit to DO IT…. Jack Smith is (sadly) not the Decider

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Justice delayed is Justice denied,

FOR

THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.

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Preach it sister!!!🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

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I just wish he would hurry up, already. I know he's trying to avoid a reversal on appeal but America needs a break.

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I want to believe you

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I know, I know, I know…and yet nope. Doesn’t pull the lever. That’s why I’m asking if he needs permission from Garland, whose side I’m suspicious of.

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Right? She doesn’t know who she’s dealing with.

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Colour me unsurprised generally but astonished at the specifics of the fuckups' fuckup.

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Clearly Cannon is hoping for/been told that a seat on the Supreme Court would be hers if she tanked the case. And will we ever know what happened to that ‘super secret’ file on Russia and its role in all of this, including Hamas and Gaza?

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Jeff, What? That's right! NARA have never been able to find the missing intelligence. If Jack Smith elaborates too much, "US dirty laundry" and "US is a shitty ally" being the least of it, we can't let them know what we know about what they have.

https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2023/12/politics/missing-russia-intelligence-trump-dg/

Nasty business living in a post Trump administration world. The DOJ under AG Garland walked into the equivalent of a superfund site.

In case the members of the Jeff Tiedrich movement forgot, Google how Trump handled Inspector Generals and how everyone stood around with their dicks in their hands.

"In 2020, Donald Trump dismissed or replaced five inspectors general within six weeks. Two permanent inspectors general were dismissed and three acting inspectors general were replaced."

https://www.vox.com/2020/5/28/21265799/inspectors-general-trump-linick-atkinson

And there was this...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/trump-removes-inspector-general-who-was-to-oversee-2-trillion-stimulus-spending/2020/04/07/2f0c6cb8-78ea-11ea-9bee-c5bf9d2e3288_story.html

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I fucking hope not!!🤬

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If only the earth would open up and drop DJT straight into the molten core. I'm guessing that would save everyone a shitload of time, dollars and anxiety regarding the future of this country.

We can hope.

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Perhaps even the earth would puke him back up.

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HA! I'd pay to see that--Donny erupting from a volcano!

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Shot out of a cannon? There’s a joke there somewhere. Cue the jokesters here.

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founding

Something, something Cannon Fodder...

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I'm with you Linda.

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😆😆😆

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I think I saw that movie. Or was it an ancient Twilight Zone with old school effects?

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