holy shit, Donny Chucklefuck was TOLD his name is all over the Epstein Files

lying liar says what

there are some days when it just doesn’t pay to be a cognitively-impaired narcoleptic fart factory.

July 15th was one of those days.

that was the day that Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants attended a technology roundtable at Carnegie-Mellon University and distinguished himself by falling asleep in public yet again, eventually waking up long enough to tell a nonsensical and fact-free fairy tale about how his uncle the MIT professor once taught the Unabomber. (fact check: fuck straight off.)

lost in all that excitement was this exchange that had taken place earlier, outside the White House.

reporter: “did [Pam Bondi] tell you at all that your name appeared in the [Epstein] file?”

Donny: “no, no. she’s given us just a very quick briefing, and in terms of the credibility of the different things they have seen. and I would say that, y’know, these files were made up by Comey, they were made up by Obama, they were made up by Bi— the Biden— you know, uh, we— and we went through years of that with the Russia, Russia, Russia hoax, with all of the different things we’ve had to go through.”

oh, Donny — are you sure of that answer, that Pam Bondi told you no, you weren’t in your dead pedo bestie’s files? are you sure you’re sure?

is there any chance at all that you’d like to change your story?

I’m guessing the firetruck in the background of that clip was on the scene because Donny’s pants were on fire.

the Wall Street Journal — against whom Donny recently filed a farcical lawsuit — has completely run out of fucks to give, and they’ve caught the Mad King in a big, fat lie.

When Justice Department officials reviewed what Attorney General Pam Bondi called a “truckload” of documents related to Jeffrey Epstein earlier this year, they discovered that Donald Trump’s name appeared multiple times, according to senior administration officials.

In May, Bondi and her deputy informed the president at a meeting in the White House that his name was in the Epstein files, the officials said.

oh dear.

pretty weird how May is when Donny’s story changed from ‘we’re going to release the Epstein files’ to ‘the Epstein files are a hoax.’ I guess that’s just a coincidence.

the thing is, how could Donny have not known his name would turn up in the Epstein Files? the two of them were besties, perving their way across Palm Beach and Manhattan for several years.

remember, this is the kind of laugh-a-minute skeevery that Donny and Jeffy were up to.

After Mr. Trump greeted them in a waiting area outside his office, Ms. Williams said, he pulled her toward him, touching her breasts, waist and buttocks as though he was “an octopus.”

She said she later wondered whether she had been part of a challenge or wager between the two men. “I definitely felt like I was a piece of meat delivered to that office as some sort of game.”

hilarious stuff. what a pair of madcaps.

if they pulled that stuff once, you know that they pulled it over and over again. it would be highly unlikely for some of it not to end up in the Epstein files.

yet, Donny campaigned on releasing the files — and he kept on promising to release them, right up until Pam Bondi pulled him aside and said ’hey fucknut, your name is all over this shit.’

that’s the moment Donny changed his tune. now, the Epstein Files are a hoax — a hoax that’s quite conveniently been cooked up by every person Donny holds a grudge against: Obama. Hillary. Comey. Biden. what an amazing rogue’s gallery. how long before Donny adds Stephen Colbert to the mix?

and now, the Mad King is freaking out because the press won’t stop talking about the story he pushed for years — because it’s too fucking lurid for the press to ignore.

sex sells, baby.

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none of this should be news, really. everything the press has been hyperventilating about over the past few weeks — the photos, the lurid tales — those of us who have been paying attention have known about this fuckery for years.

exhibit A: this photo, taken in 1993.

those two adorable rapscallions with Donny are his kids, Eric and Ivanka. he’s taken them to a bar to hang out with his pedo bestie Jeffrey — as one does, when you’re the worst fucking parent in the world.

you’ll note that CNN has slapped an “exclusive” banner on the photo, implying that they’re the ones who found it — probably through days of painstaking research, right?

nah, that photo has been circulating for years.

if any of this is news to MAGA, that’s because MAGA has had its head in the sand for decades.

speaking of MAGA, let’s pour one out for them. they’re going through some things right now.

because Dear Leader Can Never Ever Be Wrong, MAGA’s had to pivot from kill everyone in the files to what’s the biggie about being in the files?

too bad. so sad. here’s a tiny violin for Joey.

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oh, and that bullshit fever dream Donny spun last week about the Unabomber? it wasn’t Donny’s uncle who told it to him. know who did? take one guess.

if you guessed Donny’s dead pedo bestie, congratulations, you win.

apparently, ‘I studied math with the Unabomber’ is a made-up story Epstein used to puff himself up with — and Donny’s brain has deteriorated to the point where he can no longer remember which of his creepy associates told him what about who.

one thing’s for certain: Donny sure has Jeffrey Epstein on his mind a lot these days.

we all have Jeffrey Epstein on our minds.

Team Donny is throwing everything at the walls right now, trying to get the press to talk about anything else, and nothing is sticking.

for fuck’s sake, the entire House of Representative shuttered themselves for the rest of the summer, just so they don’t have to talk about Jeffrey Epstein.

Donny — and all his enablers — are obviously trying to cover something up — and there’s nothing reporters like going after more than a good old cover-up. just ask Woodward and Bernstein.

the Epstein Files aren’t going away.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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