GOP votes to block release of Epstein Files — because fuck you, that’s why
and the Mad King blithers incoherently and falls asleep in public, yet again
Marjorie Three Brain Cells Greene is fucking livid. she’s had it up to here with all these scumbag shitweasels refusing to release the Epstein Files — and she wants everyone to know just how she feels about it.
“America deserves the truth about Jeffrey Epstein and the rich powerful elites in his circle. The line is drawn with anyone who abuses children and vulnerable innocent people. When George Santos is going to prison for 7 years but Epstein only served 13 months, our justice system is CORRUPT!!!”
note that Madge posted that screed at 8:49pm on Monday. hold that in your mind, because here’s a super-awesome thing she did at 2:19pm on Tuesday: she voted to block the release of the Epstein Files.
in fact, House Republicans voted unanimously to stuff the Epstein Files back down the memory hole. fuckity-bye, Files!
now check out who else is mad has hell, and not going to take it any more: America’s Self-Appointed Bathroom Panty Sniffer.
wait, let’s check the time stamp on Nancy’s tweet. 3:49pm — about 90 minutes after she, too, voted to shitcan the Epstein Files.
that’s your Republican Party, folks. they’ll huff and puff and do their Performative Nonsense Theater, throw red meat to the cultists, and tell them exactly what they want to hear — but when it comes time to actually vote, protecting you-know-who is the Prime Directive.
you goddamn well know that if the Epstein Files thoroughly exonerated Dear Leader, Hannity would have been given a copy of it ages ago — and he’d be reading it out loud, every night, on his show.
hang on, I just got an angry email from a reader:
Show us all the Epstein client list now!!! Why would anyone protect those scum bags?
Ask yourselves this question daily and the answer becomes very apparent!!
sorry, I lied. that wasn’t from any email, and it certainly wasn’t from a reader. that was actually a tweet from Cokey McSniffles Junior, back in 2023.
Cokey sure is quiet about the subject right now. he hasn’t said one word about it. I wonder why.
by the way, there’s a lot of confusion out there, and folks are using the terms Epstein Files and Epstein Client List interchangeably. so let’s just clarify:
the Epstein Files is the entire body of evidence against Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, compiled over many years by the Department of Justice. that’s what House Republican just voted to block the release of.
the Epstein Client List is literally that, a list of names of Epstein’s pedo pals. that’s what Pam Bondi said in February was on her desk, and now claims never existed.
Cokey Junior might be silent about Jeffrey Epstein, but his dad seems to be suffering from Can’t Shut The Fuck Up About It Syndrome.
reporter: “why do you think your supporters have been so interested in the Epstein story?”
Donny: “I don’t understand it, why they would be so interested.”
cut the gaslighting, bro. you know exactly why the cultists are so worked up over this: because you wound them up for years, telling them how it’s a huge coverup and it’s Democrats protecting their own, and how you were going to release the files on day one. you sold them on a conspiracy and now it’s gotten out of hand. but please, do go on.
“he’s dead for a long time. he was never a big factor in terms of life.”
Jeffrey Epstein was never a big factor in terms of life? what the fuck does that even mean?
one thing’s for sure: Jeffrey Epstein was certainly a big factor in terms of laughing it up with Donny as they ogled women together.
yesterday, Donny brought his dog-and-pony show to Carnegie Mellon University where he participated in a roundtable discussion on energy and innovation.
wait, did I say ‘participated’? I meant to say that Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants once again fell asleep in public.
Donny did wake up long enough to tell one of his patented Things That Never Happened The Most stories.
“I have to brag just for a second. because when I first heard about AI, you know, it's not my thing, although my uncle was at MIT, one of the great professors, 51 years, whatever. longest-serving professor in history of MIT. three degrees. in, uh, nuclear, chemical and math. that’s a smart man. Ted Kaczynski was one of his students. you know who Kaczynski was? there's very little difference between a madman and a genius. but Kaczyn— I said, ‘what kind of a student was he, Uncle John, Doctor John Trump?’ and he said, ‘seriously good.’ he’d go around correcting everybody. but it didn’t work out too well for him. but it’s interesting.”
fact check: here’s your pudding cup, grandpa, let’s get you off to bed.
Ted Kaczynski — the Unabomber — attended Harvard, not MIT. and John Trump died eleven years before Kaczynski was identified as the Unabomber.
and that business about John Trump being the longest-serving professor in MIT history — MechaHitler, is that true?
oh.
now please excuse me, but what the fuck is going on with Donny’s hand?
why is Donny’s hand heavily-made up? it looks like he’s covering up the scarring from an IV drip. why?
why are Donny’s ankles perpetually swollen?
remember, we have never ever seen a proper medical report on Donny. just some bullshit from Donny’s pill-mill day-drunk almost-a-doctor about how he’s going to live to be 200 years old.
the press never questions it. not one reporter has stood up and asked what the fuck is going on with your hand?
do you think the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press would have accepted this level of coverup from Joe Biden?
it was just about one year ago that a neurologist visited the White House. he wasn’t there to meet with Biden.
Cannard’s visits to the White House were part of his neurological clinics aimed at supporting “thousands” of active duty members assigned in support of White House operations and not to treat the president.
it didn’t matter — the press had themselves a fucking field day, and declared then and there that Biden had Parkinson’s, and that the White House was covering it up.
Joe Biden got pilloried for shit that wasn’t even real — but the Mad King can waddle around looking like death warmed over, fall asleep in public, ramble incoherently about whatever imaginary shit is pinballing around in his big dumb pumpkin head, and no one in the press says boo.
about two years after this nightmare ends, someone like Bob Woodward is going to publish a book about how everyone knew Donny was decaying both mentally and physically, and about how it was an open secret all over Washington.
never mind that this is real information that the public needs right now — saving it for the book is so much more profitable.
speaking for those of us in the future, let me be the first to say thanks a fucking lot — for nothing.
UPDATE: 11:17am, July 16th.
oh, look at this double-fuckload of incoherent batshit that Captain Crazypants posted to his crappy app while I was busy writing this post.
somebody sure sounds like he’s panicking. I wonder why.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
779 / 868
fun fact: substack removed the button that tells an author how many words they've written, and now my entire life no longer makes sense to me
oh look what the Mad King posted while I was writing this piece. somebody's panicking, methinks
https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/114863203348237352