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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Brilliantly presented. And you have crafted the season's best campaign slogan: "Keep fucking that chicken, Meatball!"

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Hi Jeff, another excellent piece. I must add the words of an American icon born in Hibbing Minnesota 83 years ago.... “Broken lines, broken strings, broken threads, broken springs...Broken idols, broken heads, people are sleeping in broken beds... ain’t no use jiving, ain’t no use joking.... Everything is broken..... Take a deep breadth, feel like your chokin.. Everything is broken” Bob concisely describes the state we are in today and I can’t add much more. To you and all fellow travelers, have a great day.

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Greg Zimet's avatar

I believe Dylan also also wrote these memorable lines: "It may be DeSantis or it may be the Lord, but you gotta serve somebody". Or was it "the devil"??? No real difference.

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Cheryl Fleming's avatar

His Bobness has been clairvoyant his entire life. He ain't been wrong yet.

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

My former golf partner, now deceased, was Bob’s traveling manager for 5 years..he would tell the most crazy stories about Bob. However, my favorite was Bob going to synagogue, he always attended a Chabad synagogues. Story goes that Bob, always the last person in and first to leave. At Chabad in Cali he walks in, collar upturned and wearing an Elmer Fudd cap, the one where the ear flaps go down to disguise, well the women who were in the upper section recognized him, the men on the main floor did not. Bob was invited to the bima, the pulpit. He looked like a homeless person. One of the wealthy congregants was so impressed that the Rabbi called this homeless person to the bima he decided to make a large donation to assist the less fortunate…all the while thinking Bob was a poor homeless person. True story.

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Cheryl Fleming's avatar

Love this!!! I love that he always went to Chabad synagogues. It fits. He's still one of us no matter what religion he decides to flirt with. He'll be Robert Allan Zimmerman from Hibbing, MN when his name goes into the Book of Life. 💙

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Tess's avatar

Bob Dylan 🥂

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Jon Michael Nordquist's avatar

Every time I see DeSantis or Trump, this plays in my head ... “I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes, and just for that one moment I could be you. Yes I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes - you’d know what a drag it is to see you.” Dylan is timeless.

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Tama2U's avatar

Love how the Universe conspired to fitz out 2 deranged morons at once. Nothing else could have orchestrated such a perfect clusterfuck and I was humming a happy tune as I fell peacefully asleep last night.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

I love the term “clusterfuck.” It can be used to describe many a person, place or thing. Thank you!

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Karla's avatar

The tape and gum thing has me in stitches. Meatball should take this disaster as a sign to drop out of the race. His anti gay bullshit can only mean he’s gay and if he stays in the race long enough, someone will out him.

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Tess's avatar

I SOOOOO look forward to your thoughts!!!!!! Keep em coming!!!

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Renie's avatar

It's hard to decide which of the two fascists - trump or desantis - would be worse as president. Seeing them go after each other is beautiful except that one of them will destroy the other and that means we are still stuck with an asshole as the nominee. We have a country full of Americans who don't really care about this country they just care about 'owning the libs' and that nonsense has them voting republican. How do we overcame this? The only way is to get everyone you know out to vote democrat. Too many people don't vote and this is how we wound up in this mess of a country going downhill. And if one of these two fascists become president, America as we know it, will probably not exist in four years.

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Susan  Denault's avatar

Many of you can recall how a random odd scream killed Howard Dean's chances; I wish we could use video of DeSantis' laughter and hissy fits the same way... followed by a montage of exploding rockets and fiery Tesla vehicles. And, Jeff you nailed it about him being into torture...the Gitmo stories are a sore spot for him to be sure! Try as he might, he cannot bury that deep enough.

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Chris Fox's avatar

Cruelty is the core republican value. Anyone who can’t see that needs an oil check.

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DonP's avatar

I LIVE!

Poor wittle Elmo. "I'm the smartest guy on the planet! I don't like what this company is doing so I'll buy it and fire everyone! That'll show them! Then I'll run it myself even if I don't understand how it works!"

And yet this twerp has a raft of fanboiz who think he hung the moon, and is better than sliced bread. Those poor fools are nothing short of delusional.

As for DeSantis' second win.....even Mike Lindell thought there was fraud there. And you know what? I believe him. Reminds me of Barry Bonds' 70 homers season. Dude went from an average of 30 home runs a season to suddenly hitting 70 and then the VERY NEXT SEASON he's back to like 40 home runs or so. But no! he wasn't juicing.

Same for DeSantis. You don't win one election by 2 or 3 points only to come back 4 mediocre years later and win by 20+ points. Especially against an opponent who was known to Floridians as a decent former governor.

But, this really couldn't have happened to two more deserving dimwits.

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Pat Ford's avatar

the description of DeSantis is exactly the same as Trump & he won with a little help from his Russian friends

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Victoria Wilson's avatar

I thought the same thing! Both men are flaming bullies who use sadism to win.

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Doug Vanderpool's avatar

Thanks. Now I cannot get the picture of Ron fucking a chicken out of my head.

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Lorraine Parish's avatar

Okay maybe this will help, imagine a chicken fucking Ron.

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Linda Weide's avatar

While I am not from Missouri, the Show Me State, I do come from a city of one venerable political analyst, the Late, Great Mike Royko. He says about elections or anything, "It ain't over 'til it's over." In other words, we cannot predict the future. However, I sure hope you are right, and from where he is standing right now, I don't see how DeSatan can win. I certainly don't want him or any other Trumpster to win, particularly not Trump! But, if we are not vigilant, we may rue taking DeSatan and Stoopid for granted, because there are a lot of poor White men out there who love the message that it does not matter if they are poor because they are still superior to everyone else on the planet by virtue of their skin color and gender, even though many of them are brown-skinned like look like MTG. Now does her skin look white?

https://www.reuters.com/world/us/lawsuit-seeks-block-insurrectionist-marjorie-taylor-greene-reelection-bid-2022-03-24/

Actually no one does, but that is besides the point. https://angelicadass.com/photography/humanae/

They have accepted the lie that the reason they are poor is because of the immigrants, and Blacks no longer working for nothing (which is not true at all, since we have a prison system that is legally allowed to use slave labor, and does!) taking their jobs. They also have been made to believe that what money they have is being taken by Black Welfare moms, when the truth of the matter is that poor White families still get the most welfare money after rich corporations, and home owners, unlike Germany and Austria which have a higher average standard of living. https://youtu.be/V7d1eQ7Onk0

So, poor White American men vote against their interests because they have aligned themselves with the wealthy of this country, who use them as patsies to keep themselves in power, and not paying taxes. I read this morning that if we paid taxes at the rate of the EU we would have $36 trillion more dollars in our coffers. There is your 4 day work week, child care, technology in schools, and subsidizing building of affordable housing for everyone, as well as investment into green energy, health care for all, etc....

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antlisa1201's avatar

Now that’s an hilarious take on that demon -sanctioned shit-for-brains asshole. As he enjoys causing others to suffer I so enjoy watching him be a spectacle of idiocy and a parody of a person.

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Lamorindalinda's avatar

With all you’ve said, which is true, who could possibly want to listen to his whiney, nasally voice for four years? It’s so grating. Fingernails on a chalk board! 😱

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Al Bellenchia's avatar

Boo the fucking hoo. Ron and Elon. A match made in bizarro heaven.

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Babette's avatar

Laughing my ass off! You are the best!

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Louise's avatar

I can't stand either one of these morons, and never could think of Elon Musk as anything but a weirdo. The rest of the worldf thought he was some kind of genius. I mean just look at him. Also, I have a difficult time thinking the other moron really went to Yale AND Harvard. How is that possible? But all you had to do was think about it for half a second to know that announcing a presidential run on the sad remains of twitter would not turn out well. Plus he's MEAN.

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