251 Comments

I just want to point out that the headline for this piece is just two syllables short of perfect iambic pentameter. you can't have everything

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I just looked it up — 8 syllables is octameter. booyah!

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commenters on Threads are correcting me and saying it's trochaic quadrameter.

https://www.threads.net/@jefftiedrich/post/C6JkcnNry72

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I had a trochaic once. Throat hurt for days after.

(Yes, I know that's tracheotomy.)

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Of course they are-don’t you just love those grammar Nazis?

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It does sound very poetic! 😁❤️

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Huh?

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Still great

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You know, Will Shakespeare contributed over 800 words to the English language, many by recasting certain existing words and slapping an “un” prefix on it. He threw so many new phrases into the mouths of his characters. Dude, you might not make it to Will’s level, but I would wager that several of your contributions will endure.

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I have in fact been listening to the "history of the english language" podcast and the most recent episodes have been about Shakespeare. I guess a tiny bit of it rubbed off on me

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Teidrich. The Shakespeare of the 21st century. You’ll be hard to top!

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He's our own William Fucking Shakespeare.

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Or as someone else said a few years ago, Billy Wigglestick. Just thought it was funny so I noted it so I could use it somewhere. So to update it for Jeff, Billy Fucking Wigglestick.

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Fuck yes 👏

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Abso-fucking-lutely perfect...

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Lol !the unedited , PG version

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PG? Hmm…

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He is

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Obvious. And excellent timing. I’ve been listening to Bill Bryson’s book on Shakespeare. Do yourself a favor. Fun indeed!

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Far, far better

To have a little bit of Shakespeare

Rub off on Tiedrich

Than to have a little bit of Donny

Rub off on Stormy

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Eeeeeuuuuu

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That’s what Stormy said.

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Jeff, you said no more Pecker jokes and there were no more Pecker jokes.

That leaves me feeling peckish.

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😂🤣😂

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my favorite Shakespeare contribution: malodorous codpiece. brilliant!

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Look up "Shakespeare Insult Generator" on them thar Internets. Hilarious!

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“Thou reeky rump-fed giglet” or “Most toad-spotted traitor”(King Lear)

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on it

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OUT damned SPLOTCH !

OUT ! I say !

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Yes, OUT! I'm mortally tired of "Foul is fair, and fair is foul" out of this whole writhing mass of maggots.

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Eye of Newt ? 🤔

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Oh, why not? Especially since it was most likely mustard seed.

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Just the picture that gets painted onto the brain of that is enough to make you gag.

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I had to google that! lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Not to mention the alliteration.

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It's poetic prose at the very least.

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I found a 2-syllable ending:

"... for now!"

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I had to look that up of course

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There is a thing called the Logan Act that Trump is merrily violating with his shadow foreign policy. What the hell, Garland and the DOJ? How about doing your job for a change?

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OMG! I can’t stand it! Do we have a DOJ? Garland? Isn’t that something made of flowers you wear either around your head or neck?

Unless you’re referring to a “garland” as a new slang word for “useless do nothing.” “He really is a garland in the mail room, all he does is stare at the wall. He has the motivation of a slug.” 🐌. Beyond frustrating. How many useless or criminal A.G.’s in row in the past 8 years?. All of them.

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Garland is Biden's worst appointment. He is obviously and blatantly complicit in Trump's attempted coups and should have been fired already. We need a real SG, not this cringing fascist enabler.

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Makes one wonder if he has been corrupted from the get go. And Mueller didn’t do much either. And look what James Comey did to Hilary. I smell corruption.

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Garland is a Republican and has ties to the Federalist Society although he is apparently not a member. Biden was badly fooled into appointing him. Remember that he dragged his feet with respect to prosecuting Trump until the J6 Committee shamed him into it, and he still hasn't done a fucking thing about Trump's enablers in Congress or about Roger Stone et al. I really wish it were politically possible for Biden to fire Garland.

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I'm furious about Garland!

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I've been furious about Garland since the day he was appointed. I had a terrible feeling that he would be a disaster. We have lost so much time because of his foot dragging and cowardice, if not his complicity in creeping fascism. Biden made an awful mistake with him. I've been saying this for a long time but no one wanted to hear it and everyone made excuses. He needs to resign now.

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Yeah, it’s possible to fire him, but this close to the election it probably wouldn’t look good.

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Unless the Republican scams to steal the election become so brazen and blatant that DOJ should take action but refuses to do so. Then Garland's firing might become possible.

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I smelled corruption years ago.

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It is mind numbing how nothing is being done. I just don’t understand it. WTF?

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Not sure. Giving Garland the benefit of the doubt, after Republicans bled all agencies dry of personal by not funding them properly, I am sure they have their hands full with the trials they have going on. Better to do a few well, than a lot poorly. Once the Trump trial with Smith has happened might be time to look into more Trump behaviors. If Trump exhausts us, you can imagine he exhausts those who have to address his criming!

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It's long past time to give Garland the benefit of the doubt.

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Garland is not the slug, he's the cabbage.

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< insert drum sting here >

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Biden has to put Garland on the spot and tell him to get the DOJ ready to deal with MAGA violence, intimidation, election rigging and all around cheating in November, or resign now so he can appoint a real AG. Better yet, Garland should be fired. This shit has gone on far too long with no action by DOJ. It's outrageous that the fake elector cases are being dealt with solely by individual states. Apparently Garland doesn't care if his complicity in Republican schemes is obvious.

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Well, at least this Japanese Prime Minister is also a former.

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Maybe they are considering a partnership in country hoarding

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The ex Prime Minister was kissing Agent Orange's fat fucking pimpled ass saying, 'Don't hurt us if you get elected'. Would that be because the man that thinks with his mushroom will be the world's next Dictator?!? Be very afraid you stupid fucks.

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surely you jest...

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I'm not joking....and don't call me Shirley! ;-)

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Niiice! 😆

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Speaking of Surely, has anyone else ever watched Airplane and Zero Hour one after the other? Our Christmas tradition (we are heathens) and it’s hilarious. Not Shakespeare (what is?) but a hoot.

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Sigh, the Logan Act was enacted in 1799 and has had exactly two indictments under it, the latest in 1852. Both led to acquittals. There is an amazing dearth of case law on it.

The sticking point is the question of intent, which is a required element under the statute. (Please, no comments about how ignorance of the law is no excuse. When intent is part of the statute, it has to be proven)

The passage that causes the problem is "with intent to influence the measures or conduct of any foreign government or of any officer or agent thereof, in relation to any disputes or controversies with the United States, or to defeat the measures of the United States"

One Federal Court, in dicta, opined this statute is probably unconstitutional for vagueness about the meaning of "measures and "defeat." The U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York in Waldron v. British Petroleum Co., 231 F. Supp. 72 (S.D.N.Y. 1964).

Do we really, in an election year, want Garland to spend time going after folks meeting with foreign governments with the high likelihood of being zapped by the courts about the constitutionality of the statute? Where in the report of the meeting with Aso is there evidence of trying to defeat government policy relating to Japan?

The Wikipedia article has interesting statements by DOJ from 1975 on about the reluctance to prosecute under the Logan Act.

There may be a lot of reasons to criticize Garland, but failure to jump in with the Logan Act is not one of them. It would be really useful for folks criticizing him here to read the damn statute.

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Agree and this was right after the real POTUS was spending time with the real Japanese PM talking about real policy. It’s as if they are just letting tfg think he is doing something important to keep him busy. 🤞🏼🤞🏼

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As if. I swear they are just waiting for the dicktator to move back in with his skanky crowd.

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I fear the Logan Act lacks the teeth for Trump to be worried about it. If The Bouffant of All Knowledge Wikipedia is to be believed (and when it comes to straight information I tend to), the law's only been used twice, both in the 19th Century, and in both cases the Defendant got off.

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Because when you look up "feckless" in the dictionary, one of the sentence examples to describe the meaning uses "Garland" to enunciate the point.

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“Commander Buttstench” is a new one. Outstanding. Like Captain Underpants in its cuteness.

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It's the best one yet, IMHO.

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“Grandpa Farticus,” “greasy felon factory,” and yes-“Commander Buttstench!” WOW….perfect descriptions. He needs to be in jail and Pecker certainly is helping for that to happen. Looking forward to the rest!

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And the house REPUBLIKKKANS all say;

" I am FARTICUS ! "

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Lurleen, bring me another beer.

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"greasy felon factory" had me laughing first thing this morning!🤣

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Why are they grinning at each other in court. That was reported. Why?

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Misery loves company ?

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I work for a major personal insurance company where millions of dollars are paid from my desk personally. They wouldn’t hire Trump to file paperwork. The fact that it’s a close race just shows what a stupid bunch we are in this country.

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When you’re reading legit stories that claim college age students are breaking even between the two candidates — I’d bet serious cash on it being bs. Because ROEvember. That’s enough to tip the scale so hard it knocks Don Snorleone outta his chair.

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Read The Hopium Chronicles by Simon Rosenburg. His support is waining.

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It can’t possibly be a fact that it’s a close race, can it?

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Sounds very much like not a fact.

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I doubt it will be close. I think Biden gets 90 million votes, even if that RFK Qanon somebody or other runs.

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I'm not even bringing what looks more & more likely from my subconscious into my "examine this burgeoning thought". No jinx & all.

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From what I am seeing, people are losing interest in Don Farleone. And he is waining in the polls.

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Right now polling is close. I just argued with friends here in Arizona who sound like they’re voting for Trump a third time. Never underestimate the power of brainwashing.

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Have a read of TCinLA and Jay Kuo’s Substacks for today with regard to Pennsylvania.

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Are you responding to the new TV had, with a guy asking at 10+ businesses if they'll hire him if he has "88 felony charges pending"; if he's been found GUILTY of fraud, defamation, possessing TOP secret docs? IIRC by Repubs Against Trump.

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Truth. It also shows that the law had never been applied equally

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Was hoping for headline "Pecker explodes in fury" or "Trump stares hard at Pecker". Or something similar. You know, like a Post headline:-)

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the thing is: Trump attacks *everyone* who says mean things about him, but he hasn't gone after Pecker. Pecker ran the National Enquirer and probably has a vault full of dirt on Trump

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Pecker knows much nastier shit about Gass Ass , & the prosecution knows it.

If he doesn't live up to his immunity deal, he'll be jailed too.

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That can be about the only reason DJT didn't go after him on Truth Social rant-o-the-night. But observers still said it was obvious Pecker is still enthralled with Trump. Ick.

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Because Pecks has the dirtiest dirt on Biffer Buttstench.

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Carol Burnett ❤ sued the Enquirer quite successfully .

As I recall.

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But they are still grinning at each other. What's up with that?

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Rictus smiles. 💀

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Ah, maybe.

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Some bromance there that turns my stomach…

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Read somewhere that Pecker had a safe full of dirt before he was forced out of AMI. Wonder what happened to the info?

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I heard that too. I'd wager years ago on Rachel Maddow.

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He has been given Federal immunity because he has cooperated big time.

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I appreciated Neal Katyal’s idea that he explained on MSNBC. It’s a real conundrum to put the monster in jail because it’s what the orange pustule wants. Instead, Judge Merchan can sentence him to prison post trial. He said that every time the gag order is violated that it could be added to a post trial jail time to serve as a deterrent to the festering farting slimebag. That’s something we can all look forward to!

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If they set it up correctly, he lands in jail due to his choices to continue the defamation. Suspect that is what they will give him tomorrow

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