255 Comments
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Lisa Ham's avatar

I am loving these ugly ass courtroom sketches. They are like magic paintings, showing his disgusting true self.

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Karen Livolsi's avatar

Me too! I think they’re just flipping hilarious. My new favorite is Trump seated at the defense table with gaseous fumes and a skeleton crawling out of his backside.

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

I think they make him look thinner! 😝 but not in a good way! He’s still disgusting! 🤮

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Evidently he's been losing weight. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Ozempic?

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

How on planet earth is he not dead yet? Hamburgers for every meal. Diet Coke by the case every day. Horse tranquilizers, Addersal…And now Ozempic?

He must be the AntiChrist.

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Openly Fae's avatar

Consider all the preservatives in what he eats.

Motherfucker is a mummy.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

🤣😂🤣😂😁

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James Starr's avatar

and apparently he drank hydroxychloroquine as a cure for COVID prevention, something he most likely did not do...

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Tama2U's avatar

A shame he didn’t drink more

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Rebecca Elliott's avatar

Hydroxycholorquine is in tablet form, actually. It was bleach you were supposed to drink. LOL, imagine my reaction when my rheumatologist put me on the stuff (hydroxy, NOT bleach) when I was diagnosed with Lupus! I'm STILL giggling over it.

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Derek Smith's avatar

My wife had to go without hydroxy for her rheumatoid arthritis for 2 months when t💩p mentioned it in that infamous ‘news’ conference and the supply dwindled. She was in pain. Bastard needs to be punished for his malfeasance.

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Donatella  Dillon's avatar

Right? And then there are ppl who do everything right from eating to exercising and they die… doesn’t seem fair

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Rebecca Elliott's avatar

And you have to ask yourself, "Is he suffering from some sort of dementia/senility, or does he just have aspartame poisoning?" I hadn't even thought of that, although through the years, I've known a couple of people who did have it. Quit ingesting aspartame, and went back to normal over time.

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HollyValera's avatar

I haven't heard of aspartame poisoning before, but it sure does explain how my mom turned into a rabid Trump voter; she was drinking a shit-ton of Diet Coke at the time!

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HollyValera's avatar

Seriously. After she became essentially moribund--still with excellent cognitive function--and couldn't handle liquids anymore except for thickened water, Mom-off-Diet-Coke became a different woman. She told me Trump was a fraud; she deeply regretted voting for him for a number of reasons, but mostly b/c he'd hurt a great many people and was a shithead.

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Openly Fae's avatar

He may not be sleeping well.

Outside of the court, that is.

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Tama2U's avatar

It’s called the Marchan Courtroom Diet. 😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣 That'll do it!

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

😂😂

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Charles Austin's avatar

He loses 50+lbs.every time he changes his diaper.(Actually when Walt Nauta does.) 😂😂😂

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Openly Fae's avatar

I wonder if Walt's mother is proud of him. Professional toady.

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Libbey Dem's avatar

If he's taking Ozempic, it's definitely for diabetes and he will lose some weight with it.

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Jodi Richard's avatar

Unfortunately might extend the dick tater’s life….that’s not good. 🤬

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Libbey Dem's avatar

I read something the other day that they are giving him adrenaline to keep him awake during the trials. IDK if that's true or not, but I think that would expedite his death. Apparently the Adderall and Cocaine isn't working anymore.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Good. Anything to push the process of extinction.

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Irene warsaw's avatar

He uses those elastic tummy tucks

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Carol Jacobson's avatar

Stress.

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Abigail Norling's avatar

No fast food in the court house!

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Teri's avatar

Vanity Fair mag speculates dfg is sleepy as he never entered Oval till 11 am, and is used to 12 Diet Cokes all day. No food/drink during trial. He's missing all D Coke caffeine. Sad!

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Tama2U's avatar

Rage…I hear it’s thru the atmosphere 😈

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David A Pitock's avatar

Fear

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Bethie U's avatar

You’d think he’d would LOVE that artist because she makes him look thinner than he is. I noticed that right away. He just can’t stand the truth.

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HollyValera's avatar

I've been thinking the same thing! The artist makes him look like a Hammer film villain.

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Mwfeiger's avatar

It is like we see the 'advanced' portrait of Dorian Gray, the twisted, evil, homicidal monster.

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Carol C's avatar

The sketch artist doesn’t flatter the other people, either.

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Steven McCrary's avatar

The sketch artist must have been the one that worked for Rod Serling on the Night Gallery.

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Kaye Stone's avatar

Jeff, I hope you get as much joy in writing your hilarious dumbass donny dotard dailies as you give! You have a crew of fans who will live longer because of the laugh out loud relief you provide! Love you ❤️

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Sarah's avatar

“88 count narcoleptic fart factory” - Jeff, you deserve a medal for that one and so many others!

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Carol Jacobson's avatar

Makes my day every morning!!

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

Agreed!

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Lisa's avatar

Ditto!🫶🏼

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Deb Martina's avatar

ME TOO, thank you Jeff ❤️

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Ema's avatar

Cosign!

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

We're all having a big laugh over Trump being forced to face ridicule and criticism, but this is potentially dangerous. He's the most vindictive bastard out there. This Presidential run is not just about saving his shit-covered ass, but retribution. We, as a nation rejected him. He's planning to make us pay., and has the enablers to make it happen. He's a dumb evil Trojan horse for a Cadre of smart evil who have laid their plans (Project 2025). Those bending over backwards and taking his shit for the VP slot are doing so in the strong possibility that he won't last much longer than inauguration. And they're probably quietly making deals with the smart evil.

Apparently, he's rotting on the inside. May the process accelerate.

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BobK's avatar

Right you are, Susan! That's exactly why we need to win and win big in November. Otherwise, I guess we get rounded up? This orange-plastered threat lights a fire under my ass like never before and I hope it motivates us all. But at least we get to enjoy the ride with Jeff's substack :-)

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Agreed on all you wrote. For me, however, without the daily big laugh I belt out reading Jeff’s stacks and meeting you all here at the water cooler with your awesome comments, I think I would passed out months ago.

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Cassandra Here's avatar

Agreed. Sometimes I just read and laugh, knowing that the dark humor is what keeps us moving about our day with a sense of community. There are comments and invective that pop into my head as I am cleaning the kitchen or working in my garden.

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Deb's avatar

Perfectly. said. Sometimes I can't comment, but thanks to Jeff and everyone else, I can still laugh!

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Ema's avatar

You're right! Steve Bannon (who I believe really hates America), Michael Flynn (traitor), Steve Miller (Nazi) are part of the core group behind him.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Such friends

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

And this is perhaps the biggest reason, among many big reasons, why we cannot let him win this election.

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

That image of the Confederate flag in the Capitol makes my blood boil.

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Lisa's avatar

Mine too! Every. Single. Time!

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Charles Austin's avatar

Me too.😡😡😡

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

Oh yeah, me too!

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Jody Reines's avatar

“executive time.”😂😂😂

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Openly Fae's avatar

That's a funny thing to call beating off to his daughter but that's already weird so yeah.

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arne link's avatar

I think he's too lazy to beat off. Probably has a fluffer do it for him.

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Openly Fae's avatar

Diet coke in one hand, diet cock in the other.

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Charlotte Thompson's avatar

Just like Al Bundy, himself in one hand the remote in the other.

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Openly Fae's avatar

Al was sometimes smart though.

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Charlotte Thompson's avatar

Yes, unlike orange boy.

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Sooz Hall's avatar

Diet cock!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

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Lisa's avatar

💀

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shee-rah's avatar

Nah, he can’t get it up, fluffer or not.

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

😂😂

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Charles Austin's avatar

Oh shit!!😂😂😂

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

"Lord Fuckley"! 😂😂 I would love to know if it's really true about him stinking up the place, but I guess I dont care because the humor it has generated is outstanding! Rip Van Stinkle is still one of my favorites! I canceled the NYT, but I understand that South Carolina is seeing a boom in new residents, conservatives who dont want to wear masks or live next to normal, intelligent people.... you know, like liberals. Cool. Let the south be full of MAGA's and leave the rest of us alone. 🙄 If anyone sees that article, report back.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

does anyone here remember Lord Buckley? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_Buckley

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Lucy Guerlac's avatar

Oh thank you for the link. I had no idea!

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Burke's avatar

Thanks for the lead to Lord Buckley! I wasn't aware of him but will enjoy now.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Of course! “The Naz”!

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Karen Livolsi's avatar

Yes!!

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Cassandra Here's avatar

Yes, my father’s family is from the Tuolumne area where my great grandfather (a stowaway from Ireland) worked in the high Sierra. There were family jokes that got passed down to grandsons and cousins. Your question startled a memory from deep in my childhood (I’m 75). Now I know where “As Lord Buckley would say” followed by some made up nonsense. I always figured he was a Twain or Bret Harte character.

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

NYT. Saw it in today’s Baltimore Sun. “Sick of your blue state? These realtors have just the place for you.”

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Openly Fae's avatar

Trump Times*

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Carol C's avatar

The Baltimore Sun which has been recently sold to the owner of Sinclair Broadcasting? It figures. He reportedly plans to turn Baltimore County to a MAGA county.

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Carol, I first read your comment with “…and burn Baltimore County…” which also seems a fitting verb.

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

Yes but the article was from NYT. Referred to other states…

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Ellis Weiner's avatar

Really? I grew up there. Oy vey. And I don't say that lightly.

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Cassandra Here's avatar

I have family in Baltimore County (Ellicott City). We’ve subscribed for years to the B’more Sun; I’m sorry to see it go. It never was great, but in the hands of Sinclair (like one of our once- reliable TV stations) it’ll be awful.

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Bill Lawrence's avatar

I understand that whats-his-name from Meidas Touch reported the fart-fest in the courtroom based on someone in the courtroom who tipped him off . When you are getting old and are also becoming demented--as Trump surely is--farting seems to be part of the package.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Wearing a girdle certainly doesn't help....

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Marty's avatar

Nor does eating multiple hamberders and diet cokes.

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shee-rah's avatar

A diaper AND a girdle?

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Chet Brandt's avatar

We have friends(from NJ) who moved to South Carolina to an upscale community pre-mango moron election. They are surrounded by retired northern Maga professional idiots….liberals are not safe there.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Thats a shame...maybe America will end up divided after all.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

Sadly, quite possibly. Some think we are already divided and this election will put the US over the edge.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

I saw the article. Depressing, really, but yokels have to bother Jesus.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Shit Van Stinkle may be my personal fave! 😂

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Beverly Mason's avatar

“that tangled rat’s nest of cotton candy bullshit that sits atop his big dumb pumpkin head.” 😂🤣

You forgot his disgusting matching rat’s nest of cotton candy eyebrows. 🤮🤣

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Kay-El's avatar

1. If The Orange Fucknut was our favorite president, why was his gaseous, treasonous, felonious ass voted out?

2. Everybody knows cotton candy melts when it’s wet.

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arne link's avatar

Jeff, could you post earlier? I can't start my workday until I've read your page. You're ruining my schedule.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL!!! I have actually pulled my car off the side of the road to read Jeff's writing. 😂

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arne link's avatar

I know, right?

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I did that the first time I heard Ac/Dc's song "Big Balls". I was laughing so hard.

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Jodi Richard's avatar

Moving back east soon so will get these two hours later in the day. ☹️

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arne link's avatar

That's inconvenient.

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Bill Lawrence's avatar

Dems anticipated that the Ukraine bill would pass, and the Defense Dept had already started preparing the military aid package to be shipped quickly to Ukraine, where it should find its way to the battlefield sometime next week. These despicable MAGAmorons should all be forced to register as foreign agents for spouting Russian propaganda fed to them by Putin.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Absolutely.

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Charlotte Thompson's avatar

Now if we could only ship Mad Marge somewhere, but who the fuck would want her.

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meryl selig's avatar

Ship Mad Marge to HQ.. where her financial support system is based: MOSCOW

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Ben Smith's avatar

If I recall.Jeff mentioned 'Fuckoffistan' which seems the perfect destination for the demented harridan!

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arne link's avatar

I don't even think that Faux News would employ her.

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Charlotte Thompson's avatar

I'm sure even they have limits.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Outer space. One way.

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JerryBier's avatar

OL’ Donny Dank Stank is having a bad weekend? I think next week might be even worse. I’m really concerened (eye roll)...

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Janan Broadbent's avatar

You & Susan Collins???😬😬😬

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JerryBier's avatar

Did Susan Collins, in her multi-degenerate self, say something similar?

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Lisa's avatar

Let’s all send tots and pears! That should help!🤷🏻‍♀️

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spoonbridgecherry's avatar

Serious question: will Trump be allowed to have his phone in the courtroom AGAIN? Someone please explain to me why they let this slide last week?

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I knew a guy who kept a case of Billy Beer. But even if the bottom fell outta the novelty collectibles market, it was still beer. Kinda sorta. I guess the funny money will serve as toilet paper.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

somewhere deeply buried in my storage unit are some campaign buttons mocking Richard Nixon. my daughter will get to throw them away when I die. lucky her

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Margaret's avatar

Remember "Why switch dicks in the middle of a screw? Vote for Nixon in 72."

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Patris's avatar

I missed that - how???

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I remember that. it was ... maybe Abbie Hoffman who said that?

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Margaret's avatar

Whoever said it was almost as funny as you, Jeff.

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Margaret's avatar

Girlfriend, you look way too young to remember that!

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Patris's avatar

Smoke and mirrors..believe me.

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Margaret's avatar

:-)

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Or my favorite "You can't lick our Dick."

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Margaret's avatar

Ah hahahahaha!

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Sooz Hall's avatar

I’d forgotten that!

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Lucinda Abra's avatar

I have the NYT front page banner of Nixon Resigning. I've pulled it out of storage several times since Drump Fartalong descended down his elevator, along with Queen Deplorable, as a reminder that we, the people, can remove this stench (literally, from what many have written) from our site. We did it before. We can and must do it again!

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Burke's avatar

"Dick Nixon before he dicks you."

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

My own Nixon memorabilia was all sadly mislaid long ago.

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Kerbo's avatar

If I could, I’d attach a photo of a poster my friend’s mom’s which is of a kooky woman in a hat, pregnant AF, with text reading, “Dickie did it!”

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Charles Austin's avatar

😆😆

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Patricia Gomes's avatar

Already have a roll with his face on every sheet. It’s a pleasure to use. Saving a bit for after he loses.

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Patricia Gomes's avatar

It’s good toilet paper. Depending on what you eat, you can match the shit he smears on his face.

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Abbi's avatar

What was king fuck-face the first afraid of last night? Small crowd size? Lack of press coverage? Or is the road kill on his head died with Rudy’s favorite hair dye that runs when wet?

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I wonder if he was really on the plane...

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arne link's avatar

Good point. He probably was not. It appears that he has people who tweet for him.

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

Are you suggesting that trump isn’t actually ‘strawberry blonde”? Shocking!

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Abbi's avatar

I know. Given how youthful he seems, it’s mind-boggling.

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

Right?!? He’s 6’3 and what, 160 lbs? 😂 He’s definitely portrayed as a chiseled god on his creepy trading cards, or whatever those MAGA cretins are calling those nasty little egregiously offensive printed money makers.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

More like 360.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Probably needed a nap

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Burke's avatar

Thanks Jeff for the info about "Quantum financial system"--"a mega-pantsload of what the fuck are you even talking about." Love it!

These idiots are like the "sovereign citizens" who think they have it figured out, but actually have no clue about how the financial system works. Maybe it's better these people are completely ignorant of the history and operation of the Federal Reserve. (Which has an informative website, for those who can read.)

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meryl selig's avatar

Watch the Netflix movie: Dumb Money. The gazillionaires who shorted GameStop are only one part of the pathetic story. The ordinary people who were financially ignorant got swept into to a frenzy. Hard to feel sorry for them. Like Trump’s “investors” (suckers; cultists) these people are too stupid to realize how ignorant they are

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Burke's avatar

Dunning-Kruger Syndrome

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Yes, they are living personification.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I blame Reagan. People like him might have been getting the mental help they need if not for him.

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Burke's avatar

Reagan, and the rest of society, was responding to Ken Kesey's "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." The scandal of court and family commitment to insane asylums and the abuse of the mentally ill. Decades later we are still dealing with the concept that mentally incompetent people are free to live in inhumane conditions if that's their choice. The pendulum went too far.

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Kerbo's avatar

LOVED THIS PIECE!!

My Sunday is complete. Namaste.

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