290 Comments
founding

Sometimes all it takes is reading the title of a Tiedrich Substack and my day gets a little brighter.

Expand full comment
author

I don't usually laugh while I'm writing but I have to confess that as I typed out today's title, I started giggling childishly

Expand full comment

The line about that monkey crashing the cymbals too loudly inside Trump's head got my wife and I laughing hysterically. We need large doses of anti fuck face humor these days in order to help survive this nightmare of a shit storm.

Expand full comment

And the concertina-playing hands go with the monkey and the cymbals. I will never ever see that gesture again without also seeing the monkey and cymbals.

Expand full comment

Good one. I get a visual every time I read Jeff's newsletter.

Expand full comment
founding

It’s the debanking. It tickles.

Expand full comment

My wife always knows when I bring up uncle jeff's substack - I start giggling like a toddler.

Expand full comment

DeSatan is out? Yippee!!

Expand full comment

Boy, is Florida gonna pay for Rhonda's hurt fee-fees.

Expand full comment

I’m sure he’ll do something to assuage his utter defeat.

Expand full comment

"The floggings will continue until MY morale increases!"

Expand full comment

It does seem to be very much related to 'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.'

Expand full comment

You were prescient! I already see the WaPo headline saying that, "

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis ends his Republican presidential campaign:

DeSantis is ending his once-promising presidential bid, which steadily deflated as he struggled to connect with voters and persuade Republicans to swap Donald Trump for a younger, more disciplined champion of his ideas." Yay!

Expand full comment

Sir, just what is needed. You out did yourself on this. Thank you. Thank you. For Truth is words we all feel and understand. 🤣🇺🇸

Expand full comment

"Crashing the cymbals" has me giggling so hysterically that I can hardly type - 🤪🤪🤪!!!

Expand full comment

Right? Best part of the day!

Expand full comment

And the concertina-playing hands go with the monkey and the cymbals. I will never ever see that gesture again without also seeing the monkey and cymbals

Expand full comment

Exactly! This is my favorite #7yrarssober gift ever!

Expand full comment

Congrats on your sobriety!

Expand full comment

Thank you!

Expand full comment

I applaud you! I have never dealt directly with addiction issues, but I did end up in Alanon because of my mom. I have SOME inkling of your struggles. Seven years is WONDERFUL!

Expand full comment

Thank you! All while losing my dad, going g through COVID and a major hurricane where my little kids and I lost our home and all our possessions to 6 ft storm surge. Still sober! You are a darling of a child to join Alanon!

Expand full comment

It saved me. It was many years ago, and the mother of one of my school friends actually took me the first time. It also let me have some sort of semi-normal relationship with my mother. Can't say enough good things about that organization!

You are so very strong. I BELIEVE IN YOU!

Expand full comment

Thank you, that means so much! 💙

Expand full comment

Mazel Tov! 40 years sober here—my sobriety outlasted my marriage by five whole years.

I do wonder what percentage of MAGAts will still vote for Trump when he starts visibly drooling at the podium and babbling about how much he LOVES those McDonald's Baked Apple Pies and Shamrock Shakes....

Expand full comment

💙🙌🏽 CONGRATS 🎉

Expand full comment

I share that feeling, DF!!

Expand full comment

If President Biden were confusing Nikki Haley and Nancy Pelosi, using words like "debank," and rambling on about wet magnets, the footage would be running on every news program on every network 24/7.

Instead, they're still all "bIdEn iS sOo Old" and "lOoK aT his PoLl nUmBeRs."

WTF, MEDIA?

Expand full comment

Exactly! I was halfway listening to msnbc blather on about how shocking it is that the Cheeto jesus attacked Nikki Haley’s race! Like, wtaf? He’s been a racist since the 70’s at least, but this is suddenly breaking news? Talk about the fascism!!!!!!!!

Expand full comment

Cheeto jesus is funny.

Expand full comment

I wish I could take credit, but I heard it somewhere and couldn’t stop laughing!

Expand full comment

They want their horse race. $$$$$!!

Expand full comment

Couldn’t it be more than just wanting their horse race? I think it’s more.

Expand full comment

The MSM is owned by oligarchs. Republicans are good for oligarchs.

Expand full comment

There's that...

Expand full comment

I am assuming that journalists, like teachers, when they get no back up from their upper management, look at the fact that they cannot afford to have a home alarm system and private security following them and the rest of their family, nor do they want to live like that, so they eschew reporting on Trump, other than "just the facts ma'am!" That is just the facts, with no analysis. "Trump gave a speech in New Hampshire today." should be "Trump gave a speech and sounded like he needs to be starting treatment in a memory ward of a senior residence, since he could not differentiate Nancy Pelosi from Nikki Haley, both of which have first names starting with N. There is another N word that we hope he doesn't start confusing with their names, because we assume it is on the top of his mind too!"

Expand full comment

I want to start a pool on when he’ll blurt that n-word out, with a over/under on 60 days. I know a safer bet is he’ll be demonstrating his Mexican dialect humor, but I want the whole enchilada, so to speak.

Expand full comment

Let's add to the pool that he will fumble the word.

Expand full comment

That’s their drug of choice. They are hooked on the concept of sloppy news.

Expand full comment

Fox would make it their constant banner!

Expand full comment

The gall of ANYONE to be questioning Bidens competence, after listening to the orange one!

Expand full comment

Media promotes Biden as mentally feeble, rickety, geriatric patient. Same media interprets The “awful repugnant blob’s” spewage as normal, a sign of vitality and energy. Biden is old and it shows. Trump is in worse health, mentally wobbly and is only a few years behind Biden, chronologically. Why does media continue to feature Biden as “too old” but the other one is not? Nobody slings the too old label at T

Expand full comment

Exactly, and I'm infuriated at the media for acting as if T is a normal candidate, he is anything but!

Expand full comment

I hope broke bronze beelzebub picks Stefanik as his number two because that way she couldn’t run to be my representative again. I had five minutes when my town was re-districted two years ago and then it was reversed and we were saddled with her again. Oh and did I mention she joined MY country club and after the club being part of my life as a child and for the last 50 years we left? Can’t imagine bumping into her there and not making a scene that ends up with me begging Jeff for bail money but I digress.

Expand full comment

Broke Bronze beezlebub 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment

I'm part of that redistricting hell, too. Somehow, we got stuck with Brandon Williams, who literally does not reside within the boundaries of NY22. It's not that boundaries were moved around. He NEVER resided within the boundary. He got pots of money from Harlan Crowe, moved from Texas to Central NY so he could run, PROMISED that if/when elected he would move into the district. Running for re-election and shows no sign of moving into the district.

Expand full comment

You have my sympathies but you must admit, I’ve got it worse! 😂

Expand full comment

The jury is out on that. Williams concerns me because he's a white xtian liar who could easily slide into a higher position, simply by virtue of being white and male. The stefanik thing has confused me from the beginning. Liz Cheney's voting record was far more in sync with trump than stefanik's. And when they took a secret vote on whether to ditch Cheney in favor of stefanik after the impeachment vote (#2), they voted to keep Cheney in her leadership position. It wasn't until there was a roll call vote that stefanik won. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING COWARDS! We could/should have been rid of trump years ago. His MAGAts aren't genuinely powerful, just assholes who are allowed to get away with asshole-y behavior.

Sorry for the vent. I'm just pissed off. Why don't they ask trump how he can demand endorsements from his loser opposition but will not commit to backing someone else if they win the nomination. (It's not even a risk for him to do that. And even if he doesn't get the nomination, he'd just go back on his word anyway. Liar gonna lie.)

Expand full comment

Rant away. We have to get our indignation out some place.

Expand full comment

That shit should be completely illegal. If a person wants to represent a county, district, state; they should at least have to have lived within the boundaries of whatever they’re running for for the 2 preceding yrs.

How can you represent a place when you don’t live there? It’s nonsense

Expand full comment

He *doesn't* represent the people who reside in his district! Sure, he shows up for every photo op for events funded by "Bidenomics". (He especially loves the ones where he can wear a hat or costume.) It's a disgrace. And an embarrassment.

Expand full comment

😂😂

Expand full comment

“fascist fuckfacery!” Love that...well, not really, but ya know.... The Homer Simpson cartoon is spot on...same with bronzer comment....same with “debank” (wtf is debank?) He’s going down fast! Ditto with puddingfingers....great post!

Expand full comment

My friend calls that peculiar ochre that the weird old goon slathers on his so called face “liver-failure makeup.”

Expand full comment

If it gets much darker, his party will reject him for not being white.

Expand full comment

Contrast the white bloody right palm he waved right next to his bronzed face! Pitiful.

Expand full comment

Makes me think of term for a drunk

" Shit faced ".

Expand full comment

When the spirochetes are finished doing their work, he'll probably be USING his own...eh, forget it, too disgusting.

Expand full comment

I hope there is something in the Florida Constitution that employers MUST hire graduates from Florida schools and colleges. Recent graduates, not those who attended and graduated years ago, when they received a usable education.

Expand full comment
founding

Woof. There goes the rest of the state.

Expand full comment

Anyone with a pulse and a driver's license would be better than this lot...

Expand full comment

😂 good one! I’m hoping the more the real world gets to see this dipshit up close, they’ll see what a raving lunatic he really is! I am reveling in the thought that with each passing day, he loses more and more of his shit, and eventually just strokes out....Oops, did I just say that out loud? Well, you know what I mean..the pressure from everything that is falling down around him, has to take its toll, right? 🙏 I’m going to hell......

Expand full comment

I’ll meet ya there! hahahah....actually there is probably a special place in heaven for people on Jeff’s substack! lol

Expand full comment

😂 We’ll be in good company!

Expand full comment

Definitely!

Expand full comment

I’ll bring drinks and snack; ya’ll bring some fans!

Expand full comment

…from your lips to, well, you know.

Expand full comment

Both civil trials are going to be very expensive. Boohoo. He's losing his shit.

Expand full comment

One of the few times you can correctly use the word ‘literally’.

Expand full comment

I'll see you there, as my wishes for trump are quite unpleasant.

Expand full comment

😂

Expand full comment

It’s ok Joanne Filipe, you have lots of company, I wish a lot of things for him but don’t spell them out (yet). Feel the same. Relax, the Truth just hurts, this is “OUR” Country we are talking about. Be well.

Expand full comment

You’ve made me laugh out loud again Jeff. Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants. Trump reminds me of my daughter’s demented 18-year-old Chihuahua.

Expand full comment

...d o n ‘t say t h a t.

Expand full comment

I can relate! Our ancient chihuahua in our house walks and stares just about like LDFF. Laughed out loud at how spot on that is. This entire post has me starting my day with a little hope. Thanks, Ya'all!

Expand full comment
deletedJan 21
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

I would imagine more loyalty and compassion as well!

Expand full comment

All Haley has to do is say "the bastard's crazy" and she would be right. Trump was retarded from birth. Never taught how to pick up after himself or how to cook. Read his niece Mary's books for the whole sordid story if you can stomach it. I look for Trump to enter a padded cell before long. Maybe they will allow him a play desk and phone.

The backlash is coming, coming for the MAGA and the corrupt Congress people and the corrupt Supreme Court and the corrupt people in the poor states that are in the state governments and pushing a Nazi Christian agenda.

Expand full comment

They could give him a sharpie and just tell him he’s in charge of the weather every day!lol

Expand full comment

NO PHONE!

Expand full comment

A play phone that doesn't work. A play desk. A play map of the world and a real Sharpie. Give him no contact with the outside world.

Expand full comment

But ketchup to make it feel like home.

Expand full comment

“Too Much and Never Enough” by Mary Trump is very illuminating. Highly recommend!

Expand full comment

I hope

Expand full comment

After reading Ms Spouse’s Substack & the comments, also Jessica Valenti’s

“Abortion Every Day” stack, I really think the Republicans have no idea what a hornet’s nest they have chosen to play with, taking women’s rights & bodily autonomy away, then making leaving the state a crime!!!

Women are mad as hell. Many commenting they’re just going to get their tubes tied so they for certain won’t get pregnant. Some of them saying that aren’t even older women.

Expand full comment

1. DeSaster did not do his due diligence, thinking that MAGA would carry the day. He apparently doesn’t read all types of media which would have clued him in that he needs to appeal to everyone. Dope

2. Bronzer is not always your best friend if you have to slather it on and end up looking like an old junk store relic

3. The Stefanik pic is a treasure that needs to be constantly displayed.

Expand full comment

Elise Yellowstain. Shitgibbon is starting to look like a cigar store indian.

Expand full comment

He has his strongly-eyebrowed wife whispering sweet bullshit in his ear and it confuses him.

Expand full comment

Yeah... what is with those eyebrows anyway? 🙄. Casey wants to be Queen so badly! 😂

Expand full comment

Hmmmm, does she even get that close?

Expand full comment

Jeff— I must correct you.

Stefanik is hiding from Antifa. And then innocent Trump supporters were arrested to cover up the riot's real perps.

Duh!

Expand full comment

And if it hadn’t been for Nikki Haley, the national guard would have been there to save Stefanik. But, you know, everyone knows, that Nikki Haley was busy destroying all the documents.

Expand full comment

Speaking of Antifa, yesterday during the Coward Boys March, there were, of course, many tooth-sharing bumpkins claiming the masked, hatted, sunglassesed and gloved marchers were Democrats or Feds. One genius suggested the real patriots should get out there and shoot ‘em. Hmmm. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Expand full comment

Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants! 😜 that’s amazing. And Ron is toast! Yay! I needed this laugh cause I woke up sick as hell. 🥴😷 ugh. You guys are the best!👍🏻

Expand full comment

Feel better soon Susan!

Expand full comment

I always love the commentary and banter… you guys teach me and make me laugh! Thanks Tess!

Expand full comment

Take care of yourself. Lots of chicken noodle soup.

Expand full comment

Thanks Charlie. I swear to god I was run over by a truck. 🤦‍♀️

Expand full comment

Boo.

Expand full comment

There's flu going around. Hydrate!!

Expand full comment

Hope you feel better soon!🫶🏼

Expand full comment

Sending you healing thoughts. As long as you can read Jeff World, I think you will be better soon!

Expand full comment

You’re so right! In between naps. 😷

Expand full comment

Feel better. I’ve been fighting it for a week!

Expand full comment

Thanks. My head might explode 😳

Expand full comment

I feel like that everyday, even when I'm not fighting a cold! 🤣

Expand full comment

😂 this is the world we’re living in. Dear God. 😜

Expand full comment
deletedJan 21
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

Thank you!

Expand full comment

Ah, feel better soon. Your comments are part of the often hilarious commentary here.

Expand full comment

Well, thanks. This is a fine bunch of people-I look forward to reading what everyone has to say! ✌️

Expand full comment

Me, too. I have recently been coming late, so I get to chuckle at the Jeff piece and then at everyone’s comments, sometimes joining my comments with others. What a fun community.

Expand full comment

Wishing you a speedy recovery!

Expand full comment

Thanks...I've been sleeping all day and just drank some TheraFlu. I hate wasting a day like this but I couldn't move! You stay healthy!

Expand full comment

Let's be real here. No kid is looking up jack in the dictionary when they all have their own freaking phones/ devices and can actually look up porn.

So maybe these idiots should focus on what is really ailing our youth... Parents ignoring their kids and giving them unlimited screen time.

Expand full comment
founding

Books are on iPhones too😁

Expand full comment

Parenting has taken a decidedly back seat to the acquisition of stuff. Peak capitalism?

Expand full comment

It's truly worrisome

Expand full comment

Amen and why would any conscientious loving parent abdicate their responsibility to the government like this?!

These so-called “small government” people sure are messed up! They are totally detached from even their own reality!

Expand full comment

And active shooter drills aren’t helping our kids’ mental health either.

Expand full comment

And parents giving arms to their children. I mean like A.R.s.

Expand full comment

Which would the kid rather do? Probably screen time. But your point is absolutely a good one.

Expand full comment

Remember when Trump was insanely going on and on about the failure of fifteen successive toilet flushes?

Those of us who understood psychiatric projection instantly knew that he was telling us that he was having a hard time trying to destroy paper evidence.

Projection!

Expand full comment

24/7 with this guy. All his talk about “cognitive” is more projection of his incapacitated mental state, too!

Reading transcripts of his “speeches” is downright scary. The man is insane. Don’t get me started on the perfectly sane people that remain in his orbit! Herein we find the real scoundrels.

Expand full comment

My dad got to the point of speaking in word salads. This was about the same time he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We knew what he was talking about as we could pick through the words and follow his thoughts. But to anyone else, he was a crazy old man who could no longer drive or read words, not a candidate for president.

Expand full comment

What a terrible illness for your family to live through. Thank you for the reminder that posts like mine could be taken as making light of your situation.

I apologize if this is the case. I didn’t mean to diminish the challenges involved in cognitive decline. It is such a serious thing.

Expand full comment

No offense at all! And believe me, you Have to find the humor in awful situations in order to live through it. My dad was like a Mechanic Specialist in the Army for 3 years, but in his dementia-addled mind, he turned down promotions because they wanted to make him a general! We had a good laugh at that. You find humor where you can.

Expand full comment

How do you ace a cognitive test. Before he passed my father's doc gave him a cognitive test and my father being the smarty pants that he was wrote all the answers to his questions in latin why, because he could.

tRump takes his act out on the road and scares the hell out of people or at least they should be scared his own wife doesn't want anything to do with him, very telling. I just watched face the nation and Sarah huckster sanders was on and is still a tRump cheerleader, spreading BS about tRumps accomplishments. This nightmare must end.

Expand full comment
founding

In Latin! I 💗this!

Expand full comment

He was quite the character

Expand full comment
founding

It's quite an accomplishment. I had 2 years of Latin in HS. All I can remember is: "Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres". Plus, I have the bonus of knowing word roots for English.

Expand full comment

Latin! I bet that freaked out the doctor.

Expand full comment

He didn't expect it .

Expand full comment

We just want to ensure that when we defeat the demented, they are GONE from our media, from our day to day lives.

Expand full comment

Agreed. To do that, we need to also defeat the demented’s enablers and collaborators in Congress and every red state.

Expand full comment